My Once and Future Love (44 page)

“Are you sure you aren’t applying too much?”
I asked. “It feels like you’ve done a lot of swiping at my
eyes.”

“Trust me. I’ve done this tons. Have you ever
seen me look like a raccoon?”

“Well, no…”

“Then shut up. You’re going to look
gorgeous.”

“If you say so…”

“Okay, look up so I can do your mascara.” She
wiggled the wand along my curled lashes. “And…we’re done. Go take
your hair out of those rollers, but don’t brush it.”

“Yes, boss. Geeze, I thought you put down the
iron fist when you clocked out,” I teased.

“Ooo, look who’s found her inner bitch
tonight. See what happens when you put yourself in my hands?” She
grinned with approval.

I went to the mirror, expecting to look like
a freak version of myself, and blinked in surprise. She created a
perfect smoky eye, making my eye color pop. The rest of my make-up
was light, for balance, my lips glossed rosy pink. They
looked…kissable.

I carefully took out the rollers and shook my
head to make the curls fall. My locks cascaded over my shoulders in
glossy waves worthy of a shampoo commercial. She walked in to
assess her handiwork and arranged a lock here and there then
spritzed on a fine mist of hairspray and stood back again.

“Perfect. You’re gonna knock his socks
off.”

“Who?”

“Honey, who do you think? Go get dressed so
we can leave.”

Dangerous, telling her anything. Ever since I
confided in her that I’d known Jake Lindsey since high school,
dated him, and worked for him, she hounded me for details every
time I got mail. I knew all this primping was a conspiracy to get
me laid, but that’s how she showed she cared.

I walked back into my bedroom and shook my
head. “You laid out my clothes for me?”

“Just do it.”

Just do it
… I knew what to wear to a
rock concert, thank you very much, certainly
been
to enough
of them. She’d chosen the tee promoting his first band. God, the
memories with this shirt… I slipped the faded tee over my head and
tucked it into my jeans. I was putting on my shoes when she came
in.

“No, no, no…stand up.” She yanked the tee out
of my jeans and knotted the hem in the back so it showed a sliver
of my tummy. “Much better.”

“I don’t--”

“You do. Rock concert, remember? Trust
me.”

“Famous last words,” I grumbled, as she
pulled me out the door.

At the arena, Security escorted us to seats
in the VIP section.

Jacob’s popularity had grown so much
overnight, they needed a buffer for his protection. Women too close
to the stage would try to grab his feet and legs if he was near the
edge and he’d had a few near-accidents in the beginning. I
recognized several people as I set my bag down. Celeste bounced
with excitement next to me.

“Oh, my god, I can’t believe we’re this
close! You’re now my best friend for life, you know that,
right?”

I smirked. “Just remember that the next time
I turn in an artistic photo you don’t like.” I took my camera out
of my bag and started fiddling with settings.

“What you call art, I call bizarre and can’t
tell which way is up. Our clients like straight pretty shots.”

“Uh-huh…” I always tuned out the lecture on
what was appropriate for the magazine, blah, blah, blah…

“Beth? Is that you?”

I turned to the person who’d spoken and
smiled. “Hey, Reggie. Still on security detail, huh? How are the
kids?”

“Thirteen going on thirty, you know how it
is. Damn, girl, you’ve changed. I like it.” He leaned over to give
me a hug. I’d met his wife and twins.

When he released me, I turned to my friend.
“Reggie, this is Celeste. Reggie is one of Jacob’s personal
security guys.”

“Ah, the entourage. I get it.” She put out
her hand. “How d’ya do?”

He paused to listen to a message in his
earpiece, then shook her hand. “I gotta go. Great to see you.”

She looked impressed. “Wow, you really do
know everybody.”

I shrugged. “Right-hand gal for three years,
what can I say? I could tell you by heart what’s going on
backstage, too, but it’s pretty boring.”

“Uh-huh. Can you point out anybody
famous?”

We had an hour to kill before the opening act
started and I realized I was doomed to satisfy Celeste’s love for
gossip. She was soon distracted when they started playing a random
mix of Jacob’s songs over the loudspeakers, though.

I went back to experimenting with my
camera.

It was an okay band, as opening acts went,
and definitely more respectable than she-who-wouldn’t-be-named.
They had a thirty-five minute set, which most of the crowd talked
through, only interested in the main event. Had to be
nerve-wracking hoping for your big shot while riding the star’s
coattails. I took a couple photos to fine tune my light
settings.

And then…

The intro to Jacob’s first hit single blasted
through the speakers as the band took their places and picked up
their instruments. The crowd roared and cheered, girls chanting
“JAKE! JAKE! JAKE!”

I could picture him backstage, grinning like
a loon as the noise pumped him up. I’d smile and roll my eyes,
checking his appearance one last time, and when the tension in the
arena couldn’t take any more stalling, he’d run out on stage to
deafening applause.

Like now.

Looking through the lens, I focused on him,
tuning everything else out. I didn’t fear snapping through this
opening routine, knowing it by heart, and I’d long since stopped
listening to those old songs. I hadn’t seen this from the audience
perspective since I was eighteen and wanted to capture every bit of
it. He didn’t recognize me. He winked at the camera as he took his
place at the microphone, but he couldn’t tell it was me behind the
lens. I zoomed in on his face, his arms, his hands…

He was still the most beautiful subject I’d
ever photographed.

****

Jacob knew Beth got the tickets, the courier
said so, but he didn’t see her in the front row. He flirted with
the radio contest winners and the redhead in the center was cute.
He looked to the other side and saw more strangers.

It’d been a long time. Maybe she had to work.
Maybe she was too shy to sit front row and handed her tickets to
friends. He should’ve known she wouldn’t want to be out in the open
like that. He could only hope she was out there somewhere.

Maybe the distance between them was too far
to cross.

****

Celeste kept hissing at me to put my camera
down and enjoy the show, but I liked watching this way. By the time
my arms got tired and I put it down, he would be too focused on
looking out into the crowd to make his connections and wouldn’t
notice me. He had a routine for every song and I knew them by
heart.

Except he had a whole new album’s worth to
stick into the show.

The next song was a slow ballad, and as the
intro started to play, he leaned away from the microphone and
addressed the front row. “Hey, I know I’m pretty, but why don’t you
watch with your own eyes a while, love.”

I froze, Celeste nudged me, and I slowly
lowered the camera, turning into her and hiding my face behind my
hair, and heard him chuckle. He started to sing, so I sat, putting
me in semi-darkness.

My refuge only lasted long enough for the set
to reach a fast song. Celeste pulled me up to dance.

“No, no…please don’t,” I said.

“Ah, yes, my friend, you’re going to actually
have a good time.”

I knew the exact moment Jacob saw me. He
gasped a breath between words. You wouldn’t have caught it if you
didn’t know exactly how he always sang that song. I blushed
beet-red, refusing to look up at him, and used Celeste as a shield.
Might have worked better if she wasn’t four inches shorter than
me.

“Look up, silly, he’s singing to you!” she
yelled in my ear.

I didn’t want to look. Jake Lindsey’s blue
eyes were a vortex and I didn’t want to be lost after I’d just
finally found myself again. I looked at
anything
but his
eyes.

Then, he rocked me to the core.

“This next song is a new one. I’ve never
played it in public before.” A roadie brought him an acoustic
guitar and a stool. “It’s about someone I care about that was once
very sick.”

Oh, he didn’t…he
wouldn’t
.

“Always too good to me

Didn’t get what I deserved

Until you closed your eyes to me

Now I’m beggin’ to be heard

Where did you go, Sleeping Beauty?

Are you lost in the land of dreams?”

“Oh-my-god, is that about
you
?”
Celeste asked.

I shook my head in automatic denial, trying
to fight back tears.

The crowd ate it up. Women always went in for
the sensitive artist commemorative song crap. I even saw some of
them wiping their eyes. Celeste kept repeating
wow
and
oh
my god
. Jake Lindsey could sweet-talk his way in and out of
anything, and possibly could from birth.

What was I supposed to do with this? What was
he trying to accomplish?

It was too much. I picked up my camera again
and detached myself from the moment.

****

A man could take a hint. The song didn’t
impress her. Well, he had two more new ones where that came from to
get through her stubborn head.

At first, the idea of making her a captive
audience seemed perfect to show how he felt, but while he sat in
his dressing room, he remembered how the whole fame thing did not
impress her, and doubts crept in. Nothing to do but soldier on now
he was on stage. He’d get a second chance to talk to her after the
show.

****

Two more songs probably—maybe--about me.
Okay,
Butterfly
was definitely about me, or rather, the
birthmark to the inside of my left hip. The words made me blush.
Even in metaphor, I doubted the song could make radio play. I’d
forgotten how stubborn he could be.

Well, they were nice songs. Even nicer,
hearing him strum a guitar again. He usually didn’t play on stage
anymore. Hell, it was rare to see him sit in one place for five
minutes. His boundless energy always made our study sessions twice
as long as they had to be, the stinker.

“He is so dreamy,” Celeste sighed.

“Sure, when he’s up there like that. You
should see him at seven in the morning when he’s hung-over. It is
not cute.”

She giggled. “You really were like his wife,
weren’t you?”

“Except for the whole love, honor, and
fidelity thing, sure…some days I felt like a mom.”

“Oh, come on. Was it really so bad? He wrote
songs for you.”

“Well, not in the beginning. He can be really
sweet when he wants to be. But as his fame grew…”

“So did the ego. I hear ya.”

The band did the encore thing, pretending to
leave until the screams got really loud.

Fans report to Celebrity News Zone that
Jake Lindsey sang three new songs to an audience member tonight.
Could this be the rumored muse? Stay tuned
.

Chapter Twelve

As soon as the last song was over, Security
came to take us backstage for the meet-and-greet. At this point, I
was tired and didn’t want to go, but Celeste insisted.

“I’m not going back there all by myself, and
you are not ducking out after he was nice enough to write you
songs.” It was the same tone she used at work when she wasn’t
backing down on an editorial decision.

I wilted internally. “Fine, but stick close
to me. I always hated these things.”

With fans, reporters, and executives in front
of us, we’d be waiting at least forty-five minutes, but at least we
were served drinks.

Watching my replacement hover around Jacob
while he worked the room, I wondered if I did the same thing,
looking like a bee buzzing around a flower. I didn’t think I’d been
that eager to please, like a puppy--probably because I knew the
star when he was a pimple-faced teen. Took away some of the
mystique.

“Is that guy going to hump his leg?” Celeste
whispered, pointing to the PA.

I snorted a laugh, then covered my mouth when
a few people glared at me.

“Shhh! You’re going to get me in trouble,” I
whispered back.

“Take pictures, then. You ignore me perfectly
well with a camera in your hands.”

Not a bad idea, though I didn’t have a great
view of anything and settled for scrolling through the shots I took
and deleting what I couldn’t touch up in Photoshop. She tapped my
arm about the same time I saw a pair of legs stop in front of me. I
craned my neck up to see Jacob with his trademark smirk.

“I see you got yourself a new toy.”

“Uh, yeah…it’s what I do now.”

Lame!

He looked gorgeous, hair tousled in random
directions, a touch of black kohl smudged into his lashes, and that
cushy bottom lip looking smooth and bitable. How was I not
inoculated against all that after thirteen years?

“I remember. Who’s your lovely friend?”

Celeste blushed and giggled, which I thought
I’d
never
see her do. Look out, he’s caught another one.

“Celeste, this is Jacob—sorry,
Jake
—Lindsey. Celeste is the photo editor at the magazine.
She’s a big fan.”

He turned his attention to her, engaging her
in what she thought of the concert and making her feel like she was
the only woman in the room. He was a pro at it. I slipped into the
background, taking a few shots, then said hello to the band. They
welcomed me back with big hugs.

“See, I told Aaron it was you down there, but
he didn’t believe me,” Bob said.

“Well, you can’t exactly
blame
me.
Bethie went from girl-next-door to hot babe!”

I blushed. “Thanks, it was just a
little--”

“Did you get our flowers?” Mikey cut in. “I
wanted to send them to your dad’s, but they said we should trust
Flaky Jake.”