“I’m kidding, it was fine. We’re
fine.” She laughed. “Your face was so
funny just now.”
Picking up my wine glass, I took a
generous swallow. “Yeah, I might like
kids
eventually
. Not necessarily this
year.”
“I know, I was teasing.” She focused
on the wine in her glass as she swirled
it. “But do you want to talk about Friday
night?”
I studied her a moment. She looked
curious, but not upset. “We broke a rule,
didn’t we?”
“We did. And while it was OK the
one time, I don’t think we should make a
habit of breaking it.”
“I agree.”
She took a breath. “But there might
be another rule we could break.”
“The sleepover rule?” I asked
hopefully.
“Not the sleepover rule. But the
talking rule.” Another deep breath as she
met my eyes. “I want to talk.”
“You mean, you want to talk about
feelings
?” I looked around the room.
“What planet is this? Am I in some
alternate reality?”
She threw her napkin at me. “Keep
making fun and I’ll
never
break the
sleepover rule for you.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, retrieving her
napkin from the floor and throwing it
back at her. “Let’s talk about feelings.
What’s up?”
“Well, I thought about what you said,
about wanting more than just no-strings
sex.”
My heart beat quicker. “And?”
“And…” She lifted her shoulders.
“I’d like to try. I’d like to be…closer to
you.”
I moved my chair back from the
table. “Then you should definitely come
sit on my lap.”
Smiling, but in no particular rush,
she got up and came around the table to
stand in front of me. “Hi,” she said
shyly.
It was the most unsure of herself
she’d ever looked, and it made me feel
both aroused and protective. “Hi.” I
tugged at the sleeve of her sweater.
“Come here, you.” I pulled her onto my
lap so that she straddled me, and she
laughed softly.
Putting her arms around my neck, she
rested her forehead against mine. “I
don’t know if I’m good at this.”
“At what?”
“Strings.”
I put my hands in her hair, gently this
time. “Strings don’t have to mean you
owe me something specific. We don’t
need to put a label on this, Jaime. I just
want it to mean something to you.”
“It does,” she said, kissing my lips.
“You do.”
“That’s good enough for me.” I
kissed her back a little harder, tilting her
head in my hands, tasting her with my
tongue. My cock stirred between us, and
she sighed as she circled her hips.
Her hands traveled down my chest
and around my lower back, and I felt her
start tugging my shirt from my jeans. But
then she seemed to change her mind
about undressing me and moved her
hands back up my torso, leaving them on
my chest. The kiss grew more intense,
and I slid my mouth down her throat and
one hand up her sweater.
When it closed over her breast, she
whimpered a little. “I’m trying to go
slow, I swear to God, Quinn. But when
you touch me, I want to tear your clothes
off.”
I laughed. “Is that why you stopped
before? You’re trying to go slow?”
“Yes. But I’m so impatient.” She
moved her hips sinuously over my
erection and whispered, “I can feel your
cock beneath me, and I want it inside me
so badly.”
Oh, fuck.
Moving my hands beneath
her ass, I stood up and walked down the
hall toward the bedroom with her legs
wrapped around me, her lips setting my
neck on fire. “We can slow down once
we’re naked—maybe. But at this point,
I’ll be lucky to make it to the bed.”
She laughed throatily. “Wall, floor,
bathroom sink—it all works for me. As
long as it’s you.”
I reached the bed, set her on it, and
we undressed each other frantically, her
sitting and me standing. When she was
completely bare, I pushed her knees
apart, knelt down, and put my mouth on
her, licking into her warm wetness as
she lay back, hands in her hair. I did all
the things I knew she liked, licking her
slow and then fast, hard and then soft,
sucking her clit. She came quickly, her
legs across my shoulders, crying my
name.
My cock was so hard it was almost
painful, and I grabbed a condom from
the drawer and rolled it on in record
time.
Then I picked her up again. “So
little,” I said, easily holding her in place
as she positioned me between her legs.
“So big,” she murmured playfully as
she slid down my shaft, her eyes locked
on mine in the shadowy dark.
I turned and placed her back against
the wall, feeling I showed great restraint
in not fucking her right through the
plaster, especially the way she was
talking to me.
“You’re unbelievable,” she
whispered in my ear as I drove inside
her again and again. “You know how to
make me come so hard—with your
hands, your tongue, your cock. No one
has ever made me feel this good.”
I tried to last a little longer but felt
powerless against the rushing current of
desire inside me, which refused to slow
down. Faster and harder I pounded into
her, encouraged by the wetness of her
pussy and the clawing of her nails and
the loudness of her cries, telling me to
come, come, come…
The orgasm spread throughout my
body, every limb vibrating with pleasure
as I went stiff and my cock throbbed.
Afterward, my arms and legs weakened,
and for a second I worried Jaime and I
might both hit the floor.
Summoning my strength, I hitched her
up a little higher before moving back to
the bed and carefully setting her on her
back. Expecting her to let go, I was
surprised when she clung to me, arms
around my neck, legs around my waist.
Braced on my hands, I looked down
at her. “What are you doing?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I just…
don’t want to let go yet.”
“Then don’t.” I kissed her forehead.
“Then don’t.”
EIGHTEEN
JAIME
THREE DAYS LATER, I met Claire
and Margot for cocktails and oysters at
Rockefeller’s for our weekly GNO. We
were sitting at the bar, listening to the
live piano music and waiting for our
drinks, when Claire pounded her fist like
a gavel.
“OK, that’s all the time I’m giving
you. Tell us what’s going on with you
and Quinn.”
“Well, we’re…talking.” I tucked my
hair behind my ears.
“Just talking?” From the other side
of Claire, Margot eyed me suspiciously.
“OK, talking and fucking,” I
conceded. “But talking is a big step for
me.”
Claire laughed and clapped her
hands. “It is. We’re very proud of you
for talking.”
“What are you talking
about
?”
Margot asked as our martinis arrived—
gin for Margot, Cosmo for Claire, vodka
for me (dirty, of course).
“Different things.” I sipped my drink.
“We actually talk quite a bit about his
mom. He misses her a lot. I think he
likes talking about her with someone
who knew her from before she got sick.”
“That’s sweet,” said Margot.
“It is. He’s actually much sweeter
than I thought.” I tried to say this
casually, but I didn’t miss the look my
friends exchanged. “What?” I said in
self-defense.
“Nothing, don’t get your panties in a
twist.” Claire patted my shoulder. “We
were saying as much to each other
yesterday, that we think he’s funny and
sweet and would be really good for you
if you’d give him a chance.”
“Too bad he’s so unattractive,”
Margot quipped.
“I know, right?” I shook my head. “I
keep thinking about that. He could have
anyone. What’s wrong with him that he
wants me?”
“Oh, shut the fuck up,” said Claire,
who rarely cursed. “You’re hot, he’s hot.
There’s chemistry. That’s that.”
I sipped my martini and listened to
the pianist play “Let It Be,” which we’d
heard Sunday night as we made the
pierogies. Quinn had sung along to it.
“You know what? He’d like this place. I
should bring him here sometime.”
“You should,” Margot said. “We
could have dinner at the restaurant.
Tripp and I, you and Quinn, Claire and
—”
“Don’t.” Claire put up a hand. “No
more set-ups. I will meet someone
somewhere on my own; I can’t handle
the disappointment anymore. You guys
go. I’ll stay home with my Kindle and
my cat. They never disappoint.”
I tipped my head onto Claire’s
shoulder for a second, feeling sort of
guilty that Quinn had landed in my lap
after all this time. I hadn’t even been
looking to date someone—in fact, I’d
been looking to avoid it. It didn’t seem
fair.
“So the talking is going well, then,”
Margot encouraged, her tone telling me
she wanted more.
“Yes. I mean, it’s only been three
days, but…” I inhaled and exhaled. “I
am cautiously optimistic I can handle
what he wants from me at this point.”
“Which is what?”
“He hasn’t said, exactly, but I think
it’s just sex and conversation at the end
of the day. He doesn’t call or text me—
actually, he hasn’t even asked for my
number, which is perfectly fine with me
—and honestly, it’s been me knocking on
his
door the last three nights.” This last fact was a tad worrisome when I let
myself think about it too much, but I told
myself it was OK because A) sex with
Quinn was really good, so who wouldn’t
knock on his door, and B) he was
leaving for New York tomorrow for six
days. We’d have a break then.
“I’m happy for you,” Claire said,
lifting her Cosmo to her lips. “Sex and
conversation sounds great.”
It was pretty great. So great I
knocked on his door for the fourth night
in a row when I got home from GNO,
even though it was almost eleven.
He answered it wearing black
athletic pants and no shirt. The bare
chest and warm smile he gave me made
my insides flutter, which was a feeling I
was learning to appreciate.
“Hey,” he said, his voice a little
scratchy. “I thought it was girls’ night.”
Suddenly I noticed his apartment
was dark behind him and realized he’d
probably been in bed already, which got
me all flustered. “It was, and I swear I
was just going to go upstairs and go to
bed because it’s so late, but then I was
thinking about you because I heard this
song tonight that reminded me of you,
and I thought about how I’d like to go to
this place with you sometime because
they play this old-school music, but I
really shouldn’t have knocked because
it’s so late and I know you have an early
flight tomorrow, so I should let you go
back to sleep, really sorry to wake you
and—”
But then I couldn’t babble anymore
because he’d grabbed my head and
pressed his lips to mine.
“I’m glad you’re here.” He moved
backward, pulling me into his flat with
his hands on either side of my face. “You
should stay a while.”
“Well,” I mumbled against his lips,
kicking the door shut behind me. “If you
insist.”
AFTER A SWEATY BOUT of me-on-
top sex, we fell asleep, and I woke up
around two. Silently, I crept out of bed
and gathered my clothes, not bothering to
put them all on, just my underwear and
top. With the rest gathered in my arms, I
couldn’t resist giving Quinn a quick kiss
on the shoulder.
“Hey,” he said groggily. “You
leaving?”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “Sorry to wake
you. Have a good trip, OK?”
“OK. Hey, can you leave your
number for me?”
“Sure. I’ll put it on the kitchen
counter.”
“Thanks.” He was already drifting
back to sleep when I left the room.
I MISSED him way more than I should
have while he was gone, considering
we’d only been “fucking and talking” for
less than a week. But the house seemed
so empty knowing that he wasn’t there,
which was ridiculous since I’d been
living there for two months before that
with no one in the downstairs flat.
He texted me every day, but it wasn’t
annoying. Just once or twice to say hi or
send me a picture of something cool on
the street or one of his ridiculous selfies.
I confess, I stalked his Instagram
relentlessly. One day he posted a pic of
me I’d had no idea he’d taken—it was in
his kitchen the day we made the