Love Me Back (28 page)

“Thanks guys, what a great vacation so far.  My girl is up half the night too worried about what you are doing stopping me from getting laid.  I hope you enjoyed yourselves last night because I sure as hell didn’t.”  He spins around following Mackenna.

“Now, can I have a good morning kiss?”  Trent comes up pinning up against the wall with his hands on either side of my head.

“No.”  I duck under him arm walking to my room.

I go to my suitcase grabbing my running gear.  I try not to disturb the other girls coming in and out of the room so I sneak out to change in the bathroom again.  Running has been my release since my dad died.  At first I had to start small only doing one mile but over time I have gotten to five miles a day.  The more on my mind the longer I run.  I might hit my record today.

The cabin is so quiet I tiptoe through the living room where two guys are sprawled out on the couches.  Once I hit the porch the cool Wisconsin morning breeze hits my face.  I look out noticing the sun is coming up starting to burn the dew off the grass.  I start to make my way to the park building where I remember seeing a map of trails I could follow.

I decide on the Whitetail Trail, which means I have to follow the blue triangle signs.  The clear air up here feels good coming in and out of my lungs.  It makes the running that much more enjoyable.  Everything goes through my mind.  How can Trent think he could just come up assuming we would get back together?  Because I always gave in to him, look what I did last night.  I can never face Gabe again.  God, he was right to tell me he didn’t think it was a good idea.  I doubt he will want me to move to Florida once he finds out.  Whatever has been going on between us will be over now.

Trent is another story.  He seems genuine but doesn’t he always until he breaks me in two again.  How do I give him another chance, another time to crack my heart a little more than the last time, another time to have him use me? No, I will not do it to myself again.  Whatever happened last night was it, over, finished.  Trent Basso has to get out of my life if I am ever going to survive.

My mind keeps floating to Gabe and how upset he is with me about letting Trent come up here.  I can’t move to Florida even if he wants me to.  It wouldn’t be fair to him.  I love him.  Maybe more than I love Trent but I still love Trent and I can’t do that to him.  I cannot hurt him and eventually I would.  Trent will always be a factor between us.  He is safer in Florida away from me.  I am sure he will find some hot blonde to marry and have cute little blonde haired blue-eyed babies.

A mile left of my run and I slow down to absorb the scenery.  The tall trees are just starting to get their leaves after a long hard Wisconsin winter.  Some trees had fallen not making it through but small animals would find shelter around them, isn’t that what nature is all about.

I am just about to exit the trails back to the main road to our cabin when I hear footsteps behind me.  I don’t have to turn around to know who it is.  Rolling my eyes “Trent for the love of god can you leave me alone?”

“I don’t know who Trent is but seeing you in those shorts I know why he won’t leave you alone.”  A deep voice I don’t recognize speaks.  I can tell he is a couple steps behind me and I don’t want to waste time turning around.  I don’t know if I can outrun him but I have to give it a shot.   Once I hit the main road I run as fast I can towards the cabin and when I get to the front of the house I run right into Trent.

“Whoa baby, what is it?”  He holds me tight.

“There was…” I can’t breathe between the running and crying.  “A man” I take a deep breath “he was chasing me”

“Stay here.”  He sits me on the porch walking a ways down the road.  A couple minutes later he comes back shaking his head indicating he couldn’t find the guy.  “What did he look like?  I didn’t see anyone.  Let’s go call the park ranger.”  He motions me inside.

“I never turned around, I just ran.”  I say staying put on the rocking chair on the porch.  I can hear the laughing in the kitchen but I am not up for being around everyone.

“I wish you could describe him but you did the right thing with running.”  He comes to my side putting his arm around my shoulders pulling me close to him. 

“I thought it was you so I made some comment about leaving me alone and then the guy said something about my shorts and I didn’t know what to do.”  I curl my legs into my body pressing my knees to Trent.

“It’s ok, I have you now.  No one is going to hurt you.”  He holds me close trying to stop me from shaking.  “Please don’t go out running by yourself.”

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

After that incident Trent and I stay close all week.  I still have no desire to get back together and we don’t sleep together again but I do laugh at his jokes, sit next to him on the couch with his arm around me.  I even let him kiss me goodnight a few times.  It all makes me more confused.  Is Trent really ready to have a relationship?  I am just not ready to answer that question yet.

Sunday afternoon everyone is packing up and I know I have to say goodbye to Trent.  Kenna has gotten used to him being there although she gives him many dirty looks she never verbally attacks him again.

Trent walks over to my Jeep wrapping his arms around me from behind.  “I’m going to miss you.”  He whispers in my ear while nipping at my neck with his mouth.

I turn around to get out of his arms.  “Let’s see how you do when we aren’t around each other.”  I say.  “Trent, I can’t get back together with you yet.”

“I thought we were on our way.”  He says looking confused.

“You have always been good when we were around each other, it’s the distance thing you need help with.  Let’s see where this takes us ok.  We can decide if we want to do this at graduation.”

“Are you kidding me Maddy?”

“No these are my rules.  If you want me Trent you are going to have to prove yourself before I get involved again.”  I say leaning against my truck.

“Alright” he shakes his head smiling.  “I’ll prove it but Maddy.”  He leans in close to me.  “You better be ready to be swept off those beautiful feet.”  He kisses my neck and disappears back to his truck.

“Ready Maddy?”  Colt comes up throwing his bag in the back.

“Yeah…” I touch my neck.  “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

We have two months until graduation, long enough for Trent to prove if he really wants to be a part of my life.   I am keeping to my word this time.  The problem is Gabe, I don’t know what to tell him but know I have to before he finds out from someone else.  He hasn’t talked to me since he hung up so I am not sure it is even his business anymore.

When I get back to our house at school, I go up to my room to call Gabe.  My fingers hover over his name but I can’t press the call button.  Then my phone starts vibrating in my hand showing Gabe’s picture and my heart drops.  I can’t do this to him.

“Hello.”  I say as though I don’t know it was him.

“Please tell me what I just heard is not true.”  His voice dripping with anger.

“Gabe, let me explain.” I say not sure what to tell him.

“No need Maddy.  If you want to chance yourself with him again I am not going to talk you out of it.”  His anger subsides.  I can’t believe he is saying this.  I didn’t think the conversation was going to go this way.

“Gabe…”

“But do not come to me when he breaks your heart.  Not if Maddy but when because he will.  You know where I stand with you and I refuse to do this anymore.”  He snaps.

“Let’s remember Gabe, you are the one who walked away from me.  You are the one who couldn’t break your promise to Trent.”

“I thought what we had was more but I guess I was wrong.  I actually believed you would pick me over him.  How ridiculous was I?  Have a great time with my brother for however long he lasts.”  He spat and then he hangs up on me again.  I can’t believe this man, he keeps hanging up on me.  Ugh.

I lay down on my bed.  I feel them coming those damn tears again.  I think I have cried more in the last year then my whole life.  It kills me the way Gabe talked to me but it hurt more the way he feels about me now.  I am nothing to him, some stupid girl following some guy who will break her heart.  I knock on my door finally brings me back.

“Come in” I say sitting up on my bed quickly wiping my tears.

“It has been a total of four hours, he has already broken your heart?”  Kenna comes in the room sitting on my bed.

“It’s not Trent, its Gabe.  He found out about me and Trent, I just got off the phone with him.”

“Did you honestly think he would be cool with this?”  She says it nice enough but I hear the condescending nature in her voice.

“No, I just wasn’t prepared for how I feel knowing he hates me.” 

“Oh Maddy.  I don’t know what to say.”  She wraps her arms around me giving me a hug. 

We both know there is nothing she can say that will make the situation better so I let her hold me and comfort me.

The two months go by fast.   Trent stuck to his word calling me every day and even coming up two of the weekends.  I still am not committed to making our relationship work yet but he is making great strides.  Gabe never called me again and I didn’t have the nerve to call him.  I miss talking to him but I know I can’t have both in my life.

Graduation is here and we are all getting ready in our cap and gowns when Trent walks into our house.   I had attended his graduation last weekend.  We are going back to Belcrest for two weeks and then I am moving to New York with Ian and Trent is going there too, to play for Soccer National League.  They signed him at the end of his season at Thrayer University.  Mackenna and Bryan are staying in Belcrest, Bryan has gotten a financing job across the border in Illinois but it would be close enough for them to stay in our hometown.  Why they want to stay there I have no idea.  What Kenna doesn’t know is Bryan is asking her to marry him tonight after our party.

“Let’s get going graduates.  Party time is over.”  Trent walks in looking so hot in his blue suit.  It looked like it was tailored to fit his lean body perfectly showing off his v-shape torso.  His hair is gelled back making it look wavy.

“Party time is tonight.”  Colt yells over to him fixing his cap.

Trent walks over to me, grabbing my gown from my hands.  “Let me.”  He holds it open while I put my arms in it covering up my navy and white dress.  “You look beautiful…as always.”  He kisses my cheek.

Graduation goes off without a hitch.  We have a party to celebrate with our friends.  Trent spends the night…in my bed.  Nothing happens but it feels good waking up in his arms.

I don’t know if it is the alcohol or nerves from waking up with Trent but I have to rush to the bathroom.  I throw up so much I don’t have anything left in me.  My body is sweating and cold.  This is the worst hangover I have ever experienced. 

Two days later at the Basso’s I still don’t feel any better.  I can’t eat anything and I am throwing up every morning.  I lay in bed most of the day moving only to the couch.  Trent is worried getting me tea and crackers.  I think we both know but are refusing to admit it.  We would rather ignore it than find out.  Ignorance is bliss for us but after day three I know we have to do it.  I tell Trent we need to go buy a test and all he does is nod in agreement. 

Luckily his parents are out of the house doing errands in town so we sneak up to the bathroom and I pee on the stick.  We sit on the edge of his bed setting the timer on my phone.  I have three minutes to live in ignorance before my life changes.  I give it to Trent, he holds my hand while we wait in silence.  He hasn’t run yet of course we don’t know for sure anyway. 

My alarm rings out from my phone and I slowly walk over to the stick on his nightstand.  “No, we aren’t doing it here.”  He grabs my hand pulling the stick off the counter and taking me out of the house.  We walk hand and hand to the old barn.  I hadn’t been here in years.  We climb the ladder up to the second floor.

“Alright, are you comfortable Maddy?”  He asks.

“Yes, are you ready?”  I ask him back.

He pulls the stick out of his hand and I close my eyes for a second before I look down.

“Two lines mean?”  Trent asks.

“I’m pregnant.”  I sigh. 

Chapter 20 – Present Day

I have had enough heart to hearts today.  I don’t need a lecture from this woman who went from my mother to my enemy in a matter of months.

“Are you out for a run?”  Her eyes examining me up and down.

“I was but I ran into Jack, we just left Fifties Diner.”  I say trying to pull down my shirt and shorts as she appraises me.

“Walk with me will you?”  She motions the way I just came from.

“Um...”  I stutter trying to think of an excuse.

“Please Madeline.  We need to talk.”  Her voice becomes a little softer towards me.

“Ok.”  I turn around joining her.  She cut off her long blond hair into a shorter cut but it fits her, bringing out the blue eyes she shares with her boys.  Wearing a pair of Capri workout pants and t-shirt I assume she just came from the gym.  She has always been into her health and fitness.

“How is New York?”  She asks.  Seriously, she is going to have a casual conversation with me.

“It’s ok.”  I shrug.

“Have you found a decorating job yet?”  She looks over at me taking a drink of her water bottle. 

“Not a permanent one yet, No.”  I confirm keeping my eyes forward.

“That’s a shame.”  She sounds genuine but I have no idea why I am here having this conversation with her.

“Well, it’s a hard business to get into, I knew it when I decided on it as a major.”  I shrug my shoulders.

“You’re talented, you will find something.  Maybe you should consider something outside of New York.”  She compliments me and I can’t help but glance over to her in surprise.  “Don’t look so surprised Maddy, I have always believed in you.”  She smiles a truly authentic grin to me.

“I guess we will see what the future holds.” 

“Speaking of the future.  What exactly are your plans?” her voice is back to the cold indifferent one.