Love Me Back (36 page)

“Thank you.”  I bite my lower lip unsure of how to start this. 

“What did you want to talk about?”  He doesn’t turn his head towards me; he just stares down at the piece of hay he is wrapping around his fingers. 

“Um…Well…” I stutter making Trent peek his eyes up at me.  I have to gather the strength to this.  It will be better for the both of us.  “We need to talk about us.”  I deadpan.

“What about us?”  He asks inquiring.  Does he really not know what I am about to tell him?  That makes this that much harder.

“We need to say good-bye to each other as lovers.”  I turn towards him sitting Indian style in front of him grabbing his hand off his leg.

“So, you are choosing him?”  He sneers at me.

“I’m not choosing anyone.”  I shake my head back and forth “No, I am choosing you and Gabe.  I want you two to get past this fight and be the brothers I know you can be.” 

“Maddy, I told you this morning, I tried.  He doesn’t want to.  Not to mention if I have to lose you for him I am not willing to do it.”  He stares down at our hands clasped together.

“Trent, can I ask you a question?”

He shakes his head up and down.

“Would you marry me?”  I ask more as an inquisition instead of a sincere request.

“In a couple years yeah.”  He shrugs his shoulders indifferent.

“No, I mean right now.  Fly to Vegas and be married by the end of the night.”

“Maddy…” he sighs. 

“Trent, I love you and I know you love me but you can’t deny we have changed through the years.  There was a time when you would have pulled me up right now and had me in your car driving to the airport to marry me.  We aren’t those kids anymore.  Through the years our paths separated and unfortunately”

“Someone took my spot” he interrupts.

“That’s not the reason, well…it’s not the only reason.  We gave it everything Trent but we don’t want the same things in life anymore.  You love the clubs and parties where I like quiet dinners and nights in.   It was all proven last year.”  I take his other hand so I am holding both.  “You mean the world to me and what we have shared over the years will never be forgotten.  I will continue to support you and be your friend but I cannot be your lover anymore.”  I look down at the flower blanket that I lost my virginity on with Trent and a tear falls down soaking a small dot.

“I told you Maddy, I changed.”  He confesses.

“Please Trent, don’t fight this.  Respect me enough not to argue with what you know is the truth.”  I plead with him. 

His blue eyes study me for what seems like an eternity.  My eyes don’t waver and I can’t tell what he is thinking and it scares me.

“Do you love him?”  He softly asks.

“Trent, this has nothing to do with him.”

“Maddy, just answer the question.” 

“Yes” I whisper.

“More than me?”

“Trent…” I breathe in exhaustion.

“I know, don’t answer that.  Sorry.  I don’t think I could handle the answer anyway.”  He throws the piece of hay to the ground.

“I never meant for it to happen.”  I try to explain me and Gabe.  “I know he didn’t either Trent.  You have to believe me.”

“It’s my fault, if I wouldn’t have been such a douche all those times.”  He shakes his head.

“It might not have mattered Trent.  We tried to stay away from each other.”

“Not very hard.”  He deadpans.

“Trent, we did.”  I beg him but then he turns his head a small smirk runs across his lips.  

“Shh…” he puts his finger against my lips.  “I’m going to miss you.”

“I told you Trent, I am here for you whenever you need me.”

“Promise me Maddy.  Promise me we will always be friends.  I can’t lose all of you Maddy.”  He drops his gaze back down from me. 

“I promise.”  I confess and I believe it.  I would be there for Trent anytime as a friend. 

I wrap my arms around his shoulders pushing myself closer to him.  He returns my affection with arms around my waist.

“I love you Maddy.”  He whispers in my ear.

“I love you too.”  I whisper back.

Another five minutes past and I know I have little time to get out before Gabe will be down here.  I don’t want him to see me here. 

“Have fun tonight” I say to Trent as I give him one last hug before walking out the doors of the barn.

“I doubt you have to worry about that, of course, I won’t remember any of it.  After this I plan on getting completely wasted.”  He discloses.

“Be careful Trent.”  My voice is serious.

“Always” he smiles at me.

I open the barn door tracing my steps back to my mom’s car when I see Gabe making his way down from the house.  I quicken my steps hoping he hasn’t spotted me yet but I fail to consider Gabe’s keen sense of always knowing when I am close by.  I shouldn’t have been surprised when his hand grasps my arm just as I am about to hit the tall grass.

“Maddy?”  He questions clearly surprised to see me there.

“Hey Gabe.”  I try to keep my voice casual.

“What are you doing here?”  His eyes don’t have that sparkle in them today and I wonder if it’s because of me or the stories going on in the press. 

“I was talking with Trent” I honestly admit.

“Oh.”  He puts his hands in his pocket.  I sense to keep them from touching me.  His hands have always found ways to touch or caress me no matter what we are doing.

“You got the letter?”  I change the subject.

“Yes, thank you.  You’re friend Ian is very convincing.  Here” He digs it out of his pocket handing it back to me.  “It reminded me of how important my brother is to me.”

“Good, I’m glad.  I hope you both can make amends and have a friendship again.”  I confess stuffing the letter in my back pocket.

“Well…Thanks again Maddy.”

“You’re welcome, Gabe.”  I turn around finding my way back.  I sense his eyes on me until I am swallowed up by the trees, like the protector he has always been.

When I am safely in my mom’s car, I let myself weep.  I weep for the boy I have loved for so long and the man that will never be mine.   Gabe’s arms will never securely wrap around me.  His soft lips will never hit mine again.  The idea of those things never happening make me sob harder as I hang my head down in the driver’s seat unable to move away from the man who holds my entire heart.

Chapter 25 – Present Day

I go back to my mom’s house to drop off her car.  Mitch’s car is missing from the driveway so I assume they went somewhere together.  Ian is helping the boys with the bachelor party arrangements.  I can’t bring myself to be in the house by myself so I back out of the driveway.

I decide to go see Mackenna, I haven’t seen her enough this trip and since diapers and feedings will soon consume her life we need to make the most now.  Driving through town I see her in the window of her studio.  Parking the car I walk up to the window knocking.  She excitedly waves to me making her way to the door.

“I’m so happy to see you.  Come in” she motions with her hands but she sees my eyes instantly alarming her.  “What’s wrong Maddy?”  She walks over to me hugging me.

“Do you have time to talk?”  I manage to get out in between sobs.

“For you, anytime.”  She puts her arm around me bringing me into her shop.  I see her glancing around the streets checking if anyone is around.  I guess she has already read the gossip sites.

She sits me on a couch and hands me a bottle of water.  “You know as well as I do you can’t let those people get to you.”  She thinks I’m upset about those ‘reporters’. 

I shake my head back and forth.  “No…” I swallow. “I told Trent today.”  I disclose.

“Finally Maddy.”  She leans back on the couch releasing a breath.  “So, are you and Gabe?”

“No, I let them both go.”  I cry harder into her shoulder.

“Why?  You love Gabe.”  She continues to hold me but I feel her head moving insinuating she doesn’t understand my decision.

“I can’t have him without hurting Trent.  I won’t let them ruin their relationship because of me.”

“Maddy, Trent has hurt you more than anyone.  You can’t forego your happiness for him.”  She argues never being a fan of Trent’s.

“I’m not doing it for Trent, I did it for Gabe.  He needs his brother in his life a lot more than he needs me.”

“I think you are wrong on that.  If Trent loved you like he tries to act like he does he would accept you and Gabe knowing how happy you both are.”

“Kenna…” I look up at her knowing we both are aware how selfish Trent is. 

“I know.  I just think it sucks.  You and Gabe should be together.  I am going to call Bryan, he can talk to Trent.”  She reaches for her phone.

“No Kenna.  I don’t want Bryan to talk to Trent.  It was hard enough telling them both I don’t want to deal with it anymore.  I have two more days and then I will back in New York and the Basso brothers will continue their life.  Please, I’m begging you let it rest.”

“What will happen to you?”  She asks raising her eyebrows.

“I will manage.”  I shrug my shoulders.

“Oh Maddy.” 

“So, what are you getting ready to do?”  I change the subject.

“I’m getting my cameras ready for the wedding tomorrow.”

“Are you sure you can do it?”  My eyes drift her to swollen stomach.

“Yes, god you sound like Bryan.  He is insisting on being my assistant. He is going to drive me crazy.”  She rolls her eyes.

“I love how protective he is of you.” 

She doesn’t respond but she is giving me that sorrow look.  The look telling me you could have it too.  Quickly, I grab onto another topic to divert her, I am lucky Mackenna can be easily distracted.

I stay there for about an hour and then hug her good-bye letting her know I will see her tonight at the Bachelorette Party.  I am happy to find my mom and Mitch back when I return home.  They are in the family room discussing something.  I peek around the corner, not wanting to interrupt them.  Mitch’s arm is around my mom and I see she is crying while he tells her it will all work out and be ok.  I turn around to walk upstairs, I know why she’s upset and I don’t have it in me to talk about it anymore.

Walking by my room, I see Ian is lying in Jack’s bed fiddling with his phone.  “Hey you.”  I say plopping on the bed.

“Hey.”  He continues to stare at his phone.

“What’s up?  Why do you seem so down?”  I ask.  He shrugs in response.

“Ian?” 

“You’re plan worked.”  He admits.

“It did?”  I animatedly question.

“Yes.  They eventually came back to the house to help with the bachelor party together.  I never knew them before the Madeline Jennings feud but Jack and Doug seemed really happy about the way they were with each other.”  His voice is flat with no emotion.

“I’m glad.  Ian, why are you so upset?”  I place my hand on his knee.

“I don’t know, I guess I am too empathetic.  I feel bad for you.  Although they seemed to make amends Gabe’s eyes still seemed empty.  I understand why you did it Maddy but is Trent’s happiness really worth you and Gabe’s misery?”  He looks at me for the first time since I came into the room.  He is concerned for me as his friend.  He saw firsthand what Trent did to me in New York so of course he doesn’t understand.

“Thanks Ian.”  I pat his knee.  “I’m happy I have you in my life.  I need to remind you though Gabe ended it with me.  I never had a choice in him leaving my life.”

“I know but it’s all because of Trent.  If he wasn’t his brother.”

“If he wasn’t Trent’s brother I might have never had him in my life at all.  I will always love them both, in different ways but it was an impossible situation.”  I finally seem calm about my decision almost at peace especially since Ian told me Gabe and Trent are better now.

“You’re too selfless Maddy.”  Ian says.

“Thank you, I take that as the biggest compliment.”  I smile up at him.  “Now, I have to find a dress to wear tonight.”  I go to stand up.

“Let me help you.”  He stands following me out the door.  “Did I tell you how unfair it is that you girls get to go clubbing and I’m stuck playing poker in some barn?”  He sternly looks at me making me laugh for the first time all day. 

I hear the honk of the limo outside so I grab my clutch and walk out of my room.  Ian was picked up by Bryan a few minutes ago and I am debating on changing without Ian knowing.  He has great style but I think this might be a bit much for these small towns.  Pulling my shirt up trying to hide my boobs in the extremely low cut tight black shirt Ian picked out matched with a tighter and shorter black mini skirt I reach for my sandals with three inch heels. I glance in the mirror one last time making sure the curls are still holding in my hair and leave my room.

My mom is downstairs waiting for me.  Mitch has left for the bachelor party as well.  I am happy to see my mom in a nice pair of dark skinny jeans and a pink blouse.  It’s not as conservative as she’s been wearing but not even close to revealing.  It makes her look sexy and attractive like she should. 

“Oh Maddy, you look beautiful.”  She rises from the couch smiling over at me.

“You don’t think it might be too much?”  I start pulling my skirt down to get the fabric to stretch closer to my knees.

“Not at all.  You will be beating the boys away tonight.”  She lightly taps my arm. 

“Thank you.  You look gorgeous mom.”  I place my hand on her arm in exchange.

“Thank you.”  She responds while a nice shade of pink rises up her cheeks.

The other bridesmaids have already opened the champagne handing my mom and I a glass as soon as we sit down in the limo.

“Oh no thank you.”  My mom says passing her glass back to the girl.  I smile brightly over to her and she squeezes my knee in return. 

Unfortunately, I down my drink making her frown.  Lindsey is all decked out in a veil with plastic penises on it; her white shirt is embroidered with rhinestones saying Bride across her chest.  She is wearing jeans with strappy black sandals.  Her face is red from either the alcohol or the heat but it looks good on her.  The permanent smile spread across her lips makes her that much more gorgeous.

Looking around the limo I notice besides Caroline I am dressed the smuttiest.  Caroline is wearing a red halter type dress that shows off her bare back down to her waist line, her cleavage is exposed like one of her boobs is going to fall out if she bends over too quick and her dress is so short I can see she isn’t wearing underwear from my spot across from her.  I am thankful Gabe will not be seeing her tonight.