Love Me Back (39 page)

The speeches are made with roars of applause.  As much as I hate Caroline her speech brought tears to my eyes.  Doug did a fantastic job too, reliving stories from him and Jack as young kids.  When the soup arrives, I can’t take the silence anymore. 

“Gabe.”  I whisper to him.

He turns his head my way with no expression.

“Can we talk?”  I ask.

“There is nothing to say Maddy.  You got what you wanted, Trent and I are ok again.”  He put his spoon down next to the untouched bowl of soup.

“So, why are you being like this?”  I ask.

“What way am I being?”  He snickers.

“You haven’t said anything to me the whole day.  You barely look at me.”

“I can’t talk about this now, not here Maddy.”  His voice is cold.

“So when?”  I impatiently probe.  I notice Trent’s eyes glancing back and forth towards his soup and us. 

“I don’t know.  I don’t really feel like there is anything to talk about.  It’s over.”  He shrugs his shoulders.

“Are you serious?  That’s just it, you aren’t going to talk to me ever again.”  My voice starts rising.

“Hey Jennings, quiet it down a few.”  Shawn softly speaks in my ear.

I put my hand up in front of his face. “Or not, whatever.”  He shrugs his shoulders indifferent.             

“So Gabe, is that it?”  I repeat my question.

“I told you not here” he speaks through his clenched teeth.

I continue to stare at him and I know he sees me through the corner of his eyes.

“Jesus Maddy, first of all calm down.  Second of all I am mad as hell at you.”  He finally confesses.

“Mad at me, why?”  My voice is innocent.

“Ugh…you frustrate me so bad sometimes.  Why couldn’t you have fought?  I know how you feel about me but you just toss that aside for him.”  His voice is soft but anyone looking can tell our conversation is heated.  I am hoping the clinking of the glasses means everyone’s eyes are fixated on Lindsey and Jack kissing.

“I did it for both of you, not just him.”  I remark.

“I thought this time would be it but you just embarrassed me again.  Make me look like a jackass following you around begging you to be mine.  I should have known you would always pick him.”  The waiter comes taking away the soup in exchange for the salad but Gabe doesn’t even pick up his fork.

“Following me around?  Maybe you should just go back to your girlfriend in Florida.”  I turn the tables on him.  He’s not so perfect.

“What the hell are you talking about?  Girlfriend?” he finally turns to me confused.

“Come on Gabe, I’m not stupid.  The phone calls.  Something you have to take care of in Florida.”  I jog his memory.

“Again Maddy.  You constantly don’t get it.  Those phone calls were work things.  We had a situation with a house.  Grady and Rich wanted my input.  It’s as simple as that.” His face looking madder than before.

“What about you telling Caroline you had a girlfriend.”  I spat back.

“I lied.  She wouldn’t get the hint.  Do you actually think I would have a girlfriend and still chase you?”  He looks hurt.

“No…I don’t know.  I’m sorry.”  I regret bringing this up.

“I am madly in love with you.  Do you have any idea what it’s like to not get someone out of your head?  There is no way I could have a girlfriend when all I dream about is you.”  He turns away from.  “You made your choice Maddy so please let me move on.”

“I’m not his Gabe.  I ended everything with Trent.”  I plea not moving out of the way for the waiter to place my salad down.  I can tell Shawn grabs my salad from him placing it in front of me.

“Yeah I heard.”  He sneers.  “Don’t fool yourself Maddy, you did this to make him happy.  Trent got what he wanted, me as his brother and you not with me.  It’s only a matter of time before you fall back into his arms and he knows it.” 

“What?”  I whisper with tears forming in my eyes.  A rush of feelings flow through me and I can’t sit here anymore.  I can’t be next to him.  So I stand up walking away. 

“Maddy, wait?”  I hear Gabe sighing after me but I don’t turn around.  I will not make a scene at my brother’s wedding.

I rush out of the hall out the doors breathing the fresh air through my lungs.  There’s a fountain to the right surrounded by cement benches and flowerpots.  Twinkle lights illuminates the trees and shrubs making it a picture perfect romantic scenery. 

I take a seat on the bench hidden in the back of the porch area to be concealing me.  I slowly wipe the tears from my eyes before they become so uncontrollable I can’t catch them all.  How could Gabe think I would do this only for Trent?  How could he think his brother was so conniving that he would be able to manipulate me into doing something I didn’t want to do?  I wanted him and Trent to patch things up that was the whole point.  Didn’t he know it was killing me being away from him?  I can’t breathe when I think how Gabe won’t be my future but I made peace knowing I did the right thing.

My tears slow as I continue to chew my nails hidden from everyone in the garden.  Hearing footsteps I quiet myself so no one will find me.  I know I have limited time, people will notice I’m missing but the thought of sitting in silence next to him during dinner keeps me seated.

“Maddy.”  I hear his voice calling me but I don’t want to talk to him.  “Maddy, I know you’re out here.”  Trent is pleading with me to come out of hiding.

“Just go away Trent.  I need some time by myself.”   I yell at him.

“Come on Maddy.  Let’s talk.” 

“What do you want Trent?”  I ask staying where I am.

“I’m sorry.”  He says.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.  Obviously, I am the one who keeps screwing everything up.  At least according to Gabe.”  I snap.

“He’s just mad because you didn’t pick him.”  Trent is still talking in my direction but hasn’t come to face me yet.  He knows I need time.

“What are you talking about?”  I question.  “I let you both go.”

“Well, yeah…that’s what I meant.”  He stutters through his words.

“Trent, why exactly do you think I did what I did?”  I come out of hiding to talk to him face to face.

“Because you wanted us to mend our relationship.”  He replies.

“Correct.  It hurt to do it but I had to make it right.  I caused too much strife between you two for too many years.”

“Gabe will move on Maddy, don’t worry.”  He puts his arm on my shoulder seeing tears start flowing down again.  The thought of Gabe with another woman brings bile to my mouth.

“You will too.”  I confirm looking up to him.

“Nah, I’ll be waiting.”

“Waiting on what?”  I ask.

“You.  I know you’ll come back to me.  Once Gabe is away not bothering you, you will realize you are meant for me.”  He is holding both my hands.  When did that happen?

“What the hell are you talking about?”  I narrow my eyes at Trent.  Holy hell, Gabe was right. 

“Maddy” he sighs like I should melt with my name coming off his lips.

“Trent.”  I spat back wanting an answer.  “So Gabe was right?  You somehow manipulated me to get him out of my life so I would come running back to you.  Well, you know what…” I start screaming at him when we get interrupted.

“Hey Jennings and Basso, it’s almost dance time.”  Shawn yells over at us lighting a cigarette disappearing behind the wall.

“Thanks Shawn.”  I say before turning back to Trent.

“Did it ever occur to you that I love Gabe?  Did you ever think about doing something for me?  Do you even care about my happiness?  Jesus you have consumed my whole life.  I have let you come back into my life after you put your finger up saying fuck you to me how many times?  I’m done Trent.  Don’t you dare talk to me for the rest of this evening.  I never want to see or hear from you again, do you understand?”  I yell pointing my finger in his chest.

“You know we are fated Maddy, soul mates since childhood.”  He argues.

“Trent, I don’t want to hurt you even though at this point I shouldn’t give a shit.  You seem to disregard my feelings every chance you get.  I love Gabe with every fiber of my being.  I should have stood up to you years ago and picked him but I was a coward and now I have hurt him beyond repair.  He won’t even look at me.  Do you have any idea how bad that hurts?  To know that you are the reason the person you love is hurting.  No you don’t because you have no feelings for anyone but yourself.”  I turn around sharp on my heels walking towards the door.

When I turn the corner Shawn is still standing there holding his arm for me to take.  “Way to go Little Jennings.”  He smirks at me escorting me back into the dining hall. 

Jack looks up at me with raised eyebrows and I smile nodding my head informing him I am fine.  He smiles back at me.  Shawn lets me lead the way to our chairs and I see Gabe isn’t there and I wonder where he is.  “Don’t worry, he didn’t leave.”  Shawn whispers in my ear scooting my chair out for me.  I had totally underestimated Shawn Edwards.  He is one of the good ones.

Chapter 28 – Present Day

Fifteen minutes later Jack and Lindsey have their first dance.  Watching them brings tears to my eyes.  It is evident how much they love and adore each other.  The way they smile at each other captivates me.  Lindsey laughs when Jack twirls her around and back to him.  There’s that twinge of envy again. 

Scanning the circle of people admiring the newly married couple I find the blue eyes that make me melt.  Gabe’s eyes set on mine, he isn’t smiling but he isn’t frowning either.  There seems to be a glint of life in those eyes again making me smile but he quickly diverts his eyes elsewhere.  A frown forms across my face instantly.

The rest of the night dreads slowly through the bridal party dance, the mother son, the father daughter.  There is the cutting of the cake and finally the bouquet and garter toss.  Of course Caroline catches the bouquet after she wrestles two young girls
but I think she rethought her motive when Shawn catches the garter and put it on her leg with his teeth.  That is the best part of my evening until Trent asks me to dance.

“Please Maddy, one dance?”  He begs.

“Fine.  Hands are above waist at all times.”  I demand.

“I promise.”  He holds up his hands.  Placing one at the small of my back holding the other one out.  There is plenty of space between us. 

“I’m sorry Maddy.  I had no idea what a selfish ass I have been until just now.”  He admits.

I say nothing.  I don’t plan on talking anymore.  I have enough apologizes from Trent to fill a landfill.  They mean nothing.

“You should have gone off on me earlier.”  He laughs. 

I can’t believe he is actually finding humor in this.  He is beyond a doubt the biggest asshole.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”  He asks my eyes never making contact with his.  I shake my head no. 

“I said I was sorry.” 

“Maddy?” His voice is escalating now.

“Ok, I wanted to enjoy one last dance with you before…” he stops dancing but doesn’t let my hand go.  “Let’s go.”  He pulls me towards the patio again.

“I’m not going anywhere with you.”  I stop firm outside the dance floor square.

“Don’t fight me on this.”  His shoulders slump in exasperation.  He’s sick of this, he is so self-centered.

“Why do you want to go out there?”  I ask.

“Just come out” he begs.

“Tell me why?”  I am standing with my arms crossed over my emerald gown in front of the windows when I spot him.  Gabe is sitting down on a bench in front of the fountain throwing in coins.

Trent following my line of vision.  “Now will you come out there?”  He asks and I nod my head once swallowing hard.  I don’t know what to say to him.

Trent opens the door but Gabe doesn’t turn around.  He just holds a coin up and throws it in the fountain and then picks another one up repeating the action again and again.  Trent leads us to the side of him. 

Gabe’s white shirt is tucked in to his pants with his vest firmly buttoned up but his tie is loosened with his jacket long gone.  His golden blonde hair has fallen down resting right above his eyes.  He is the most gorgeous man I have ever seen.  He looks up at us through his eyelashes and then down at our adjoined hands giving us an annoyed look.

I quickly pull my hand away from Trent making him look down at our hands and then back up to me.  I expect him to be angry but he smiles over at me.

“Gabe, we all need to chat.”  Trent takes the reigns. 

“Trent, I’m not in the mood.  You got her back, congratulations.”  He sneers up at us.

“No” Trent and I say at the same time.  His voice calm mine loud making Trent stare over at me amused by my sudden outburst of emotion.

“We aren’t together.”  Trent confirms and I rapidly shake my head back and forth agreeing.  This news does nothing to change Gabe’s mood.

“Maddy, sit down.”  He leads me next to Gabe and Gabe exaggerates scooting over away from me.

Trent takes a seat in the adjoining bench facing us.  “I want to apologize to you both.”

“Whatever.”  Gabe leans forward shaking his head.

“No listen.  Maddy, I never realized how bad I was to you until tonight when you yelled at me.  At first I was pissed thinking you were trying to get me riled up but after sitting at the bar it dawned on me you were right.  Well…not completely dawned on me someone might have pushed me to see it.”  He waves his hand off.  “Anyway, you have always been there when I needed you but I was blind to see what you wanted.  I don’t know if I didn’t want to see it or if I was that egotistical to think you would only want me.”  Trent honestly admits. 

“I know I have said sorry a million times so I am hoping my actions tonight will show you how regretful I am for everything.”

“What are you doing tonight?”  I ask.

“Just wait.”  He pauses looking over at Gabe. “She’s always so impatient.”  A smirk comes across Gabe’s lips.

“Glad you two can come to solid ground when it comes to that.”  I say but Gabe never turns my way.

“Gabe, I blamed you for coming between me and Maddy when in hindsight I came between you two.  I let Maddy go when we left high school, hell maybe even before that but I had no right to keep you two apart and make you promise me to stay away from her.”  This confession has Gabe sitting up straighter.