Love Me Back (26 page)

“Bye, I promise I will be back.”  I pull my hand back closing my eyes.

“Hey dad, I’ll come back later.  Got to take care of our girl.”  Jack speaks casually.  He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I realize he is in his running gear too.  Looking down the hill I don’t see his car.  I guess I am getting my exercise in today.

“I picked it up after dad.  Wanted to make sure my heart stayed in good shape.”  He says noticing my curious expression at his attire.

“Funny, me too.”  I admit.

“Hey do you know anything about that angel?  One day it just appeared there.”  He asks.  I bite my lip unsure if I should tell him.

“Huh” I look back at the cement angel that sat on the right of my dad’s headstone.  I don’t exactly lie I just don’t divulge all the information.  Maybe I can tell him one day but not yet.

We walk over to the diner in town.  We are lucky this town is so small, easy to access on foot.  The diner is decorated in fifty style with teal, black and red sprawled throughout with the long counter wrapping all around the kitchen area lined with stools.  Booths are placed around the windows.  It is midafternoon so it is bare with the exception of some older gentleman at the counter. 

Jack picks a table in the back that I assume is for privacy.  In this town everyone wants to know everyone’s business.  The young waitress comes over, maybe a high school student and we order fries and milkshakes.  I know I am taking my chances getting into that dress on Saturday if I keep my diet like I have.

“So, I promise I won’t judge.”  Jack says laying his forearms on the table.  “I know a little of the love triangle, Doug has filled me in a little throughout the years.”  He admits and I see the anguish in his eyes that he never asked me before.

“Are you sure Jack?  I could always talk to Lindsey or someone else.  Is this going to make you feel uncomfortable?”  I ask.

“Maddy, I’m fine.  We are adults now.  I am your brother.  I want to help you.  Not to mention, I know the Basso brothers the best after their mom and dad.”

Jack has a point there.  “Ok, tell me if you want me to stop at some point.”

He makes a face at me so I continue.  “Well, I always thought I was meant to be with Trent….” I start to tell my brother the story of my life he isn’t familiar with.

An hour later, our milkshake and fries have been consumed, Jack looks emotionally exhausted and I finally take a much needed rest from talking.

“When I say this I want you to know I love Trent and Gabe like my own brothers.  Knowing them both I have a preference of who I want my little sister to be with if I only have them to choose from.  But this isn’t my decision and to tell you the truth I think you know who you want to be with but you are just afraid of the answer.”  He motions for the waitress.  So much for brotherly advice, he heard my story now he is ready to leave. 

The little blonde comes over giving my brother a once over.  Seriously, he is like fifteen years older than her.

“Can we get two more shakes and some water?”  He asks.  I look up at him in surprise.

“No, I will have a diet soda.”  Jack looks up at me.  “I have to fit into that dress on Saturday.”  I smile.

“Oh yeah, me too.”  I cock my eyebrow at him.  “You know what I mean.”  He waves me off looking at the waitress.  “I’ll have a diet soda as well.”

She nods her head smacking her gum leaving to fill the order.

“How could you possible think I know who I want to be with?  Did you not hear how complicated this situation is?”  I ask in disbelief.

“I can hear it when you told the story.  Your mannerism and voice changed when you were talking about one of them more than the other.  There were words here or there where I could tell which one you love more.”

“That’s just it Jack, I don’t think I love one more than the other.”

“Yes you do Maddy.  Listen, you couldn’t pick a worse triangle, I mean brothers are bad but the Basso’s are so close.  Their brotherly bond is so thick and tight which makes me understand how much they both must love you.  No ordinary girl would come between those two, Gabe wouldn’t betray his brother like that for some girl he didn’t love or see a future with.  If Trent didn’t love the girl as much as his brother he wouldn’t fight to overcome him.  I also know that their love is so deep for each other once you make your decision, your honest no going back decision, the other will step down.  Don’t get me wrong it will be hard at first and it might take time for the brothers to heal but they will come back together in time.”

I shake my head in agreement.

“Maddy, the time has come.  You have to make this decision and soon.  If you don’t I am afraid you will lose them both.  From what you say they are both close to their breaking points, Gabe might already be there.”

“I know, I know.”  I agree.

“You had to wait for my wedding.  Lindsey warned me about this but I thought she was crazy.”  He shakes his head in amusement but I see the stress along with it.

“I will wait until Sunday.”  I say thinking this will make the situation tolerable.

“Oh no you won’t.  I am not going to have some big blow up at my wedding, which is going to happen if you keep stringing them along.  You make that decision tonight Maddy.  You either pick one of them or yourself.  Whatever you decide it has to be it.  You need to do it for not only yourself for them.”  He seems angry and upset.

“I’m sorry.”  I put my head down playing with my straw.

“I don’t mean to be cruel.  I am just trying to tell you how it is.  I love you Maddy and I hope you pick the person in your heart because you deserve the happiness that you never got.  You deserve to have someone there for you and cherish you.  Someone who thinks the world of you and will stand by your side when you need them the most and someone you want to stand by when they need you.”  He looks like he might cry. 

“You’re going to make an excellent husband Jack.  Lindsey’s lucky.”  I say putting my hand over his on the table.

“I keep telling her that but she doesn’t believe me.”  He laughs.  Then I realize he is my father.  Somewhere in our screwed up childhood Jack developed my dad’s fatherly qualities and he has perfected them. 

“Can I ask you something?”  I stop laughing noting to him this is back to serious.

“Go ahead.”  He nods his head to me.

“How can you forgive Mom?”  I know what he is going to say so I don’t know if I am asking just to hear it or hoping he will say something else. 

“It took a while.  When she first went to rehab I didn’t believe it would work.  I was ready to write her off especially after Dad’s funeral.  She came to me about six months after rehab and asked me to attend some family counseling classes with her.  I went, Linds did too and with time I guess I forgave her.” 

“How come she never asked me?”  I ask feeling a pain of jealously that she didn’t deem me important to go to family counseling.  Am I not a part of this family?

“She knew she had a lot more to make up to you.  She wanted to prove herself to you.  To be honest Mad, it’s not like you were welcoming to her calling or visiting.  I mean you haven’t been home since…” 

“Yeah” I bite the inside of my cheek.  I guess I haven’t given her room to make an effort.  She did try to call me and even asked Trent if she could come out to visit us in New York but I refused. 

“What she’s done.”  I shake my head.  “I just don’t know if I can forgive her.” 

“It might take time but Maddy, she’s our mom.  As much as it sucks what she put us through, she is trying to make amends, trying to be the mom we need now.”  Jack is always the forgiving one.  I guess that missed my gene pool.  “Give it time.  Try to allow her in your life and see where it goes.”

I shake my head afraid if I speak I will cry and Jack has taken more than enough time on me today.

“Are we good?”  He asks.

“Yeah, thank you Jack.”  I look at his matching emerald eyes thankful to have him in my life.

“Good.”  He motions to the waitress for the bill.  “Maddy, please call me when you have a problem.  I want to be the brother you deserve as well.”

“Same goes here.”  I say and we get up and hug.  Somehow my body is at peace in this moment.  I can’t explain it but my body feels like my own again.

“Now, I have a Bar-B-Que I have to get going.”  He looks down at his watch and takes out his phone.  “I’ll see you there, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”  I say. 

He gives me a kiss on the cheek and starts jogging towards his house.  How is he able to run after fries and milkshake?  I turn in the opposite direction walking towards my mom’s house.  I am thankful for Jack and he is right, I should accept my mom’s apology and I need to choose.  Is Jack right, is there one I love more?  I don’t feel like there is well, maybe. Ugh…I don’t know.  Then I hear the one voice that hates me more than I hate myself over this mess.

“Madeline.”  She says in disgust.

“Hello Mrs. Basso.”  I respond.  Could my day get any worse?

Chapter 19 – Spring Break Senior Year

Once I started back at school, time went by slow.  Mackenna, Bryan and Colt always made sure I wasn’t alone.  If Gabe wasn’t calling he was emailing me even Skyped me a couple times to make sure I was holding up.  It took me about a month after my dad died to start going out and enjoying myself a little more.  My life to that point had consisted of work and school.  As much as I loved my friends concern I desperately wanted to be alone.

When spring break came around they were planning this big trip up north for stating it is our last time.  I reluctantly agreed thinking I could go on long walks or read a book relaxing.  I love my friends but I am still confused and it still bothers me that Trent never came to my dad’s funeral.  Gabe is in constant contact with me, still begging me to come down to Florida after graduation.  I need to make decisions and I desperately miss my dad.  He would be the person I could talk to about this.  Kenna wants to be there for me but she is biased towards Gabe.  She hates Trent but that doesn’t change my feelings for him.

I came home from class early to hear Mackenna and Bryan yelling at each other.  This is unusual for them.  They only argue about one thing or should I say one person.  My heart sinks into my stomach, what is he going to do to my life now.

“He is not going with us.”  Kenna spats at Bryan.

“What was I supposed to say?  He is one of my best friends.”  Bryan comes back sitting at the table with his head in his hands.

“Was Bryan.  He WAS one of your best friends.  He WAS one of mine too but what he did to her was unforgivable.  How could you forgive him after that?  You saw how much it killed her when he didn’t come.”  Mackenna is talking about me but where is Trent going with us.  Wait…Oh Shit!

“She didn’t seem so upset in Gabe’s lap.”  Bryan says.

“Bryan Jacob Edwards.  She had to find comfort and he was the one there not your jackass friend.”  She shouts back at him. 

“Come on Kenna.  You know she has feelings for Gabe.”

“Maybe…but that doesn’t excuse Trent’s actions.”  She sits next to him putting her hand on her forehead in exhaustion.

“I know that but it’s hard for him too.  You have to see his side of all this.” 

“NO.  He has no side.  He made his choices.  I don’t give a shit if he is trying to backtrack now.  He cannot come with us.”

“Kenna, we need another person to share the cost.  The cabin is costing a fortune, we need as many people as it can sleep.”  Bryan has a point.  I am fortunate to have my dad’s life insurance money and Kenna never has to worry but Colt, Bryan and the others are using money they should be saving.  It is cost effective to have as many people as possible.

“Why does he want to come?  All of a sudden, he wants to hang out with us.  Why Bryan?”  Kenna is still fuming.

“I don’t know.  He called, asked if we had plans.  I told him and he asked if he could tag along with us.”

“You’re telling her.”  Kenna points at Bryan.

“No point, I heard it all.”  I finally open the screen door revealing myself.

“Maddy.”  Kenna sighs.

“It’s ok Kenna, Bryan is right we need as many people as possible.  It’s a big enough group, I will just keep my distance.”  I say walking to the stairwell.

“Are you sure Maddy?”  Bryan asks.  His eyes are warm with concern for me.

“Yeah, it’s fine.”  I reply walking upstairs to the comfort of my bedroom.  I am willing to deal with this but I have to tell Gabe and I am not so sure he will be.

Gabe and I aren’t dating but I wasn’t going to leave out the fact that Trent is coming and have him find out later.  When I went home for Christmas, I stayed at Jack’s never seeing Trent.  Gabe came over a couple nights but I never asked if Trent was home and he never divulged the information.  Since I didn’t know how fast word would travel I decided to call Gabe right away.

“Hey, it’s me.”  I say.

“Hey you.  How are you doing?  Getting excited about your trip?”  He asks.  I hear him shuffling papers behind him.

“I guess, are you busy?” 

“Never for you Madgirl.  You sound…not like yourself.  Something wrong?”  His voice etches with concern.

“Um… I don’t know how you are going to take this?”  I hesitate knowing he can hear it reflecting in my voice.

“Let’s see.  Hit me with it.”  Gabe’s voice relaxes.

“Ok, I’m just going to spit it out.”  I admit.

“Maddy…” Gabe’s stern voice trying to reassure me it will be ok but I know it won’t.

“Trent is coming with us to the cabin.”  I say it so fast I don’t think he will hear it but the silence on the other end indicates he did.  “He called Bryan and asked.  The other guys need all the people they can get to keep the cost down.  I didn’t want them to say no just because of me.”  I start rambling.

“Maddy, stop talking.”  Gabe’s voice now gravely.  “So this is Edwards doing?”  Anger is coming now.

“He is the one who agreed but it’s fine.  There is a big group, I can keep my distance from him.”  I am begging with him to be ok with this.

“You might be able to but Trent can’t believe me.  Maddy, I think this is a very bad idea.  I am half tempted to call Edwards myself to talk about this.”  Gabe is turning into some kind of fatherly voice now and I don’t like it.