Lost To Me (13 page)

I shoved her and laughed. “Don’t make it sound so dirty.”

“I’ll get rid of them. There’s a seafood restaurant Dad’s been dying to try. I’ll make them wait until Oriann gets a late nap, so we’ll be gone most of the night.”

I kissed her cheek. “You’re the coolest.”

“I know. Just be careful, Lauren. Use protection if tonight’s the night.”

“I’m not saying it is.” It might be though, I wasn’t sure. Oriann kicked my leg, turned away from her bottle and smiled at me. “I’ll make sure.”

I jumped up and ran down the beach toward Kolton and our dune.

KOLTON

Lauren scooted under the railing on the pier and dangled her legs over the side.  I got her a Diet Coke from the vending machine and lowered myself beside her, letting my legs drape over beside hers.

“Tomorrow I go back to work,” I said, “but today, I’m breaking the rules with you.” I nudged her shoulder with mine. “You’re always getting me into trouble.”

She didn’t laugh, just kept staring out into the water. After a minute, she hooked her arm through mine. “School Monday.” Her lips twisted into a sneer. “Blah.”

“I can’t imagine going back. Everything’s different now.”

“You mean your ex?”

“I mean you. It’s been a good week.” I ruffled the top of her hair.

She kicked a leg over top of mine, and I rested a hand on her thigh. Her eyes blinked slowly, her thoughts reflective and deep. She sighed.

“What are you thinking?” I brushed her hair back and tucked it behind her ear.

“That I hate being seventeen. I wish I was older. Then I could just move here and be with you all the time.” Her fingers played at my chest, tracing the design on my t-shirt.

If we were older, I’d ask her to stay. I’d ask her to marry me and be with me forever. “I wish we were older, too.”

I wrapped both arms around her, and she leaned into me. Her vanilla scent swirled around me as I kissed the top of her head. I held my breath to trap it inside, to keep it with me as long as I could.

Thankfully, the beach was vacant of other people. It was like they knew we wanted to be alone that last day.

We made our way down to the beach and spread our towels on the sand. I watched Lauren remove her shirt and shorts, admiring her lean curves. She was completely oblivious to how beautiful she was, and that made her even more so. Her long hair blew loose in the wind, winding around her shoulders. When she stood before me in only a black two-piece bathing suit, she finally realized I’d been staring.

“Stop!” She giggled nervously and pushed against my chest.

“My eyes will be stuck to you all day. I don’t know when they’ll be able to see you again.” I grasped her hand and pulled her to me. My lips found her soft shoulder as two military jets blasted overhead.

Out in the ocean, Lauren lay on a raft, and I hung onto the side. My head rested on her sun-warmed stomach. We drifted and rocked with the waves.

“I can’t believe you leave in the morning.” I kissed her bellybutton, then filled it with my fingertip. “I hope you come back before summer.”

Her hands played in my hair. “I’ll make sure of it. When do you think you can come visit me?”

I let out a deep breath against her skin. “I don’t know. As soon as I can though, I’ll be there.”

This day, her last day, was supposed to be the best. We were supposed to be happy and having fun, but we were somber and depressed.

She slid off of the raft. “Kolton, I can’t do this.”

Panic flooded me. “Do what?”

“Pretend I’m happy when all I want to do is sit in a dark room and cry.”

She waded back to shore with me towing the raft behind her. I put a hand on her shoulder.

“We don’t have to pretend. This sucks. I don’t want you to go. I’m depressed as hell about it.”

The bright sun mocked us, shining down like a big ball of hope. I wished it would storm again.

I watched her toe trace a line in the sand. “Want to play Monopoly?” she asked, peering up at me with shy eyes, willing me to get her true meaning.

A wide smile stretched across my face. “Code word Monopoly?”

She flushed, a little embarrassed. I couldn’t wait to be alone with her. With any luck, her family would be out for the day and her house would be empty.

LAUREN

Bittersweet flames licked my body.

Amy was true to her word. Mom and Dad weren’t home. Kolton and I were on my bed.

If my body and heart overruled my mind, I’d let Kolton take me to places I’d never been. I wanted it to happen, but my soul knew if I got that close to him, it would kill me to leave in the morning.

Lying on top of him in my bathing suit, I let him unhook my bikini top. He tugged it off and tossed it to the floor. I felt more of his skin against my own than ever before. I felt how much he wanted this to happen.

“Tell me when to stop,” he panted.

“I don’t want you to.” I looked deep into his eyes.

He rolled me off of him onto my back and kissed my neck. His fingers stroked across my chest and down my stomach to the waistband of my bikini bottoms. He lifted his head and looked at me questioningly.

In answer, I grabbed his face and pressed my lips against his as his hand slid inside my bottoms.

Everything was so right—felt so good—and I wanted him so much, I thought I might die if we didn’t do it. My only problem was what tomorrow would bring.

Loneliness. Would I go crazy being so far away from him after being so close?

I pulled my lips away. “Kolton?”

“Do you want to stop?”

“No. But, I won’t be able to leave you in the morning if we do it. It’ll kill me.” Tears trickled from my eyes, and a lump filled my throat. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“Shh. It’s okay.” He rolled us back over and rubbed my back. Stroking my hair, he lowered my head to his shoulder. “Just lay here with me. This doesn’t have to happen today. It’s better if it doesn’t.”

Tears dropped from my eyes, rolled down his bare chest, and slid onto my comforter. I traced their tracks with my fingertip. He kissed my head, and I placed my palm over his heart.

“I miss you already,” I whispered.

“I miss you, too.”

“Why can’t we just stay right here like this forever?” I kissed his chest, warm and wet from my tears.

“Someday we can.” He moved my hair off the back of my neck and rolled my necklace chain between his fingers.

“Someday takes too long to get here.” My fingers traced his lips.

“We can make it.” He wrapped both arms around me and held me tight. “I’ll call you every day. Twenty times.” His laugh echoed in his chest.

Kolton’s fingers massaged my head. It was so relaxing; I found it hard to keep my eyes open, and dropped off to sleep. When I woke, it was late afternoon, and he was asleep in my arms. His soft, steady breathing lulled me, and made me want to close my eyes again.

But, sleeping was wasting time. My eyes ran over his lips, soft and delicate, and my own lips tingled, knowing the passion in his kiss. His lashes fanned, long and black, below his closed eyes. His ears cupped perfectly against his head, and his nose was irresistible. I gently touched the tip of my own against it.

He stirred, but didn’t wake. I watched him sleep for another hour before he rolled toward me. When I wrapped my arms around him, he woke.

“Hi,” I said.

He smiled. “How long was I asleep?”

I shrugged. “I was sleeping too, but I woke up about an hour ago.”

“What time is it?”

“Seven.” I let go as he sat up.

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head, trying to wake up. “You should’ve waked me.”

I sat up on my knees behind him and put my arms around his neck. “I wanted to watch you sleep.”

He ran his hands up my arms. My hair fell over his shoulder. “Lauren?” He turned and pulled me down into his arms, lying across his lap. “I love you.”

Time stopped right then.

Kolton loved me.

“I love you, too.”

KOLTON

The fireflies had retreated to the trees. Only a few remained over the lake. We lay on the dock. My arms held her as we waited for the light to fade, and the darkness to take over.

“Close your eyes,” she said.

I smiled and closed them. “What are you up to?”

She tied a leather cord around my neck, and let something fall onto my chest. I opened my eyes. It was a shell.

I rubbed it between my fingers, feeling its smooth texture, like Lauren’s skin.

“It’s one of the shells I picked up the first night we went out.” She waited for my reaction.

I squeezed it in my hand. She had no idea how much it meant to me. A promise right there, around my neck. “Thank you.”

My serious expression must have given off the wrong impression.

“You don’t have to keep it if you don’t like it,” she said and turned from me. “It’s no big deal.”

I took her chin and turned her face toward me. “Lauren, I love it. Nobody’s ever given me something like this before, something that means this much. When I don’t have you, I’ll have this.”

I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed as hard as I could. A whimper escaped her. I held her back to see her face.

“Are you alright?” I asked. She shook her head. “I’m not either.”

The breeze blew her hair. The sun had disappeared, stars shined bright overhead. She stayed in my arms. I traced my thumb back and forth across her shoulder. The in and out of our breathing was in sync. Her heart beat against mine. School, friends, everything seemed a lifetime away. All I needed was Lauren, and she had to leave.

“Kole!”

My name came to us, very faint, through the trees.

“Kole!”

“Shit.” I loosened my arms and began to get up. “My mom.”

“Kole!”

“I’m sorry. I’ll be right--”

“There you are!” Mom stormed through the trees, walking full speed toward the edge of the water. She stopped short when she saw me with Lauren. Her lips drew tight. “Mr. Tulane called. You were supposed to work tonight.”

“No. I have off until tomorrow.” I pulled Lauren up onto her feet beside me.

“Hello, Lauren,” Mom said in a stiff voice.

“Hi.”

I watched Lauren’s foot slide in and out of her flip-flop.

“You better call and straighten this out,” Mom said, then left, back through the trees. I took Lauren’s hands. “I just wanted more time with you. I work all the time.”

She shrugged. One side of her mouth drew down into a frown. “Your mom needs your help.”

“I hope you need me, too.”

She met my eyes and smiled. “More than anything.”

I kissed her. Her lips were tender and warm. “I have to take you home,” I murmured.

“I know.”

My heart wrenched. This was it, our last moments together.