Life in Fusion (20 page)

Wade laughed, nodding his head toward the door to signal he

was going to follow Rocky outside. Left alone in the living room,

watching Wade slide the door shut, I folded my arms. Even

though a part of me still worried he was pulling off an Olympic-

worthy acting job and I’d wake up in the morning to find he’d

vanished, never to be heard from again, I felt closer to him now.

Realistically, I knew my parents were the kind of people who

would treat any guy I brought home with kindness. Hell, even

Phillip, who neither of them would have particularly cared for.

But I liked to think Wade was special. I loved him scary at this

point and I knew it. Life without Wade would feel empty, less

than, nowhere near enough. I was afraid of having him and afraid

of losing him. But perhaps my fears were only coming from that

place inside me, telling me I wasn’t good enough—that I didn’t

deserve someone like Wade.

“You may have thought you rid yourself of the shy, gangly, and

insecure teenager you used to be, Boone Daniels,” I mumbled to

myself. “But I think he might still be in there somewhere, fucking

around with your shit.”

Rational or not, I shut my eyes and said a little prayer, asking

whoever might be out there listening to please, for once, steer me

right and keep
me
from becoming the one thing Wade was never

able to see coming our way. And he was sure to miss it, because

he was too busy looking off into the distance, not realizing the

138 Ethan Day

big scary demons were hiding in plain sight the whole time—

from inside the man he was holding in his arms.

I leaned against the door jamb between my bedroom and the

attached bath. Wade was completely naked and turning down the

bed. He was quite the sight to behold. I smiled when he picked

up the pillow that had his t-shirt over it. He mumbled something

about me being a klepto. He turned around upon hearing the

click as I flicked off the bathroom lights.

“I was looking for this the other day,” Wade said in a sexy,

accusatory manner.

I walked toward him. “Seeing you, all naked like this, makes

my ass twitch.”

He tried not to smile. He was obviously irritated about the

fact his clothes kept disappearing after my trips to Summit City.

He dropped the pillow back onto the bed. “That mouth of

yours.”

“Turns you on, makes you moist, gets you hot, does it not?”

“Lips of lightening,” Wade grumbled as I kissed his chin.

“Never in all my life have I met anyone who could ramble on as

fast as you.”

I preened, as if it were an irresistible quality. “Well babe,

it’s not something just anyone off the street can aspire to. I’m

verbally double jointed.”

“I’ll say.” Wade leaned over and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

I got a tiny shiver every time he slid his hands around my

waist. “You’ll say what?” I asked as soon as he removed his lips

from mine. “How lucky you are to have found the boy next door,

your boy-Friday, the boy with a nice, tight—”

Wade cut me off with another kiss, this time opening up my

mouth with his tongue.

The instant he pulled away I added, “How could you have

survived so long without a boy like me? You must be so thankful

140 Ethan Day

that your nights are no longer filled with that hollow, staggering

silence.”

“Because you never shut up?”

I place a finger over his lips to shush him. “Don’t do that

sweetie. It only cheapens what we have.”

Wade grinned and opened his mouth to suck on my finger,

a sensation I didn’t altogether hate, as evidenced by the reaction

happening between my legs.

“There’s no need for you to cover up your feelings with

sarcasm and faux snarkitude.”

Wade nodded, obviously ready to placate me as he continued

to lick and seductively suck on my finger. I was damn near hard

feeling his fingers slide from around my waist and over my ass.

“Because real men say I love you.” My voice cracked as his

hands began squeezing my cheeks. “Or if they can’t say it, they

wear it on a t-shirt.”

A low chuckle escaped Wade’s lips as he released my finger,

covering my mouth with his, this time kissing me with more

intensity. He turned us around and I could feel his hard-on

poking me in the leg before he pushed me back onto the bed.

He retrieved the lube and a condom from the bedside table and

I spread my legs for him. He paused for a moment, swallowing

as his gaze made its way over my body before locking with mine.

The humor had drained away from his face and Wade wasted

no more time before climbing on top of me. He was looking so

intently into my eyes it unnerved me, yet I wasn’t able to turn

away from him. I could hear the lid to the lube clicking, and I let

out a moan as he went about lubing me up. When he started to

rip open the condom with his teeth, I found my voice once again.

“Don’t,” I said, placing my hand over his to stop him.

“Are you sure?” His voice was softer, a deep whisper.

I nodded and he positioned himself between my legs while

working the slick gel over his cock.

“We’re really going to do this?” Wade asked.

Life in fusion
141

“It’s the only way I’ll be able to keep you from littering my

bedroom floor.”

Wade smirked, then took hold of my hard-on with his lube

laced hand.

I moaned, my head falling back as he worked over my cock.

My breathing had become ragged from the anticipation. “I want

you…just you, inside me.”

I watched as Wade lifted my legs over his shoulders, pulling

me closer.

I closed my eyes and bit down on my lip, feeling the head of

his dick sliding back and forth over my hole. The sensation drove

me near the edge, taunting me into begging for more, uttering the

word
please
. Wade began to force his way in. The initial pressure

of his dick, the size of it as it inched further in, was consistently

painful.

“Fuck, Boone.” His arms were shaking as he held himself

up, doing his best to take it slow. “I can’t begin to explain how

incredible you feel.”

It was different for me as well; there was something…the

texture maybe. I let out a gasp as he lost control and thrust the

last few inches in. Wade quickly kissed me, almost like an apology.

He gently sucked and nibbled on my lips. My body was flushed

and I could feel the sweat beginning to form. Wade continued to

gently thrust his hips, massaging me while I became accustomed

to having his full length inside me.

His mouth moved from my lips to my neck and he whispered

“I love you” several times before he began to slowly fuck me. I

quickly lost my senses as his cock worked in and out of me. It was

hotter, knowing there was nothing between us. His hands seemed

to be everywhere at once, and I rolled my head back when he

took my hard dick into his hand. I began moaning Wade’s name

and I couldn’t concentrate on any one thing. It felt like my entire

being was screaming for the inevitable release.

I could see it on his face that he got off on what his body did

for mine more than anything. Making me squirm and beg, losing

142 Ethan Day

myself in him—driving me to the point that I was willing to offer

him anything and everything I had to give. And it was only when

he had me there that he too lost control.

It was frightening and beautiful…and it was all mine.

q q q

I felt completely content wrapped up in Wade’s big, beefy

arms. His warm breath brushed across the back of my neck,

sending tingles over my skin. I’d never felt as close to anyone as

I did to him in that moment. We’d shared something, and maybe

it wasn’t that big of a thing to some, but it felt monumental to

me. I’d have never even considered doing that with Phillip, and

we’d dated for a year. Yet there I was, having known Wade such a

short amount of time and already giving up the pieces of myself

I’d subconsciously clung to for my entire adult life.

As amazing as it felt while it was happening, I was sure

I’d be freaking out the instant he came inside me. That I’d be

panicking—wondering what kind of an idiot would let a guy

bareback him after only dating for three months? But all I felt

was good. That had to mean something, right?

“What’s going through that twisted brain of yours?” Wade

asked, sounding half asleep, as if my thinking was the only thing

keeping him awake.

I sighed, the tips of my fingers lightly grazing the soft black

hairs on his arm. “We just…what we did…we really committed

ourselves to one another, like seriously.”

“I thought we did that a few months back?” Wade said, the

tone in his voice sounding more alert.

“We did,” I said, nodding, knowing he wasn’t wrong. “But

that was,” I grunted and turned around in his arms so I could see

his face, “I mean you just—you know.”

Wade smiled. “I most certainly did.”

“Like inside me, babe.” I exhaled, feeling the weight of it.

“Are you regretting it?” Wade asked, starting to chew on his

lip.

Life in fusion
143

“No,” I assured him. “Nothing like that. It’s just…big…huge,

you know?”

“I am well endowed.” Wade smiled.

I rolled my eyes and ran the pad of my finger up and down

the divot in the center of his chest, thinking it my favorite spot

on his entire body. “Of that, my very sore ass is well aware.”

Wade laughed as he reached over and ran his fingers through

my hair. “I feel closer to you too though, is that what you mean?”

“Well, I feel that too.” I scrunched up my face as I searched

for the right words. “But also, I feel…well I feel so…
married
.”

Wade lightly shoved me. “Gee, once more with feeling,

please.”

I laughed, realizing it had come out with little to no enthusiasm,

if not outright disdain. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, but…

that’s it ya know? We had sex without a condom. That means we

can never have sex with anyone else.”

Wade grinned like he was quite happy about that. He then

began to frown.

“No you big, dumb ape.” I shook my head at him. “I don’t

want
to have sex with anyone else. But there’s a subtle difference

between knowing and acknowledging that fact, and physically

placing your health and well-being into another person’s hands.

The door is no longer open—even though I would have never

used it.”

“If it helps at all, this big dumb ape is crazy in love with you.”

I beamed as he poked me in the side, making me giggle. “It

does.” I leaned in and kissed him. “And this hot, sexy, charming—”

“Loud mouthed,” Wade added, poking me in the side again.

“Socially gifted,” I corrected.

“Never a dull moment, ‘cause he never shuts up,” Wade

interrupted again.

I slapped him in the chest with the back of my hand. “Who

loves you right back.”

144 Ethan Day

He winked and kissed me again, seeming satisfied with the

way that conversation turned out.

“Tonight felt like being part of an actual family again,” Wade

said, not looking me in the eyes as he toyed with my fingers,

intertwining them together. “You and your parents…man,

Boone, how I wish you could’ve met my dad.”

I immediately began to feel like a complete asshole, watching

Wade’s eyes begin to well up.

“I think he’d have really liked you, Boone.”

Here I am going on about never fucking anyone else and he’s

having a breakdown over actual real issues.

“You’ve always had a family, Wade. Hell the entire town looks

after your very fine ass.” I was trying to lighten the mood, and he

did smile a little, nodding his agreement.

“I know, and I am grateful, but it’s—”

“Different, I get that.”

“After my mom died…” Wade sniffled a bit and rolled onto

his back, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “Dad tried to

explain it to me once, said it was like some of the brightness went

out of his life. That she made everything more.”

I didn’t know what the fuck to do. I assumed he’d rolled onto

his back because he didn’t want me to see him cry. I reached over

and began softly rubbing his stomach. I didn’t know if it was

right, but it always made me feel better when my mom did it for

me when I was little.

“You’re like that to me,” Wade said, staring up at the ceiling.

“You make everything more.”

I exhaled, feeling myself begin to slip. I scooted across the bed

and threw an arm and leg over his body. His arm squeezed me,

crushing my body into his—a sensation I particularly enjoyed. I

liked to imagine the force of it was enough to squeeze out any

and all negative thoughts running through the back of my mind,

the ones telling me he deserved better than anything I’d ever be