Authors: Ethan Day
Tags: #MLR Press; ISBN 978-1-60820-237-9; Sequel to Sno Ho
than I liked. She turned to me. “Christ almighty, its Rock
Hudson…on steroids!”
“Simmer down woman,” Rocky said, already sensing my
rapidly rising discomfort. “Give the man some space.”
“He’s a handsome hunk of a man, Boone,” Dixie said,
obviously choosing to ignore my father altogether as she wrapped
an arm around Wade’s, leading him into the living room. “Please
do come in—” she added, sounding hoity-toity before ruining it
all by tossing in, “—and take a load off.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Daniels,” Wade said, causing my mother to
laugh in her fake, flirty girl way.
“Please call me Dixie, sugar.”
I rolled my eyes at her and my dad grabbed me up in a hug,
ruffling my hair as if I was still a kid. He was wearing jeans,
brown leather moccasins and a deep wine colored cotton button
124 Ethan Day
up that contrasted his dark complexion and black hair nicely.
He’d donned the same Rick Springfield style hair cut that he’d
had since the mid eighties, as if it were too awesome of a look
for him to ever consider parting with. And just like Mom, he too
was showing off too much cleavage, I thought, wishing he’d do
up a few more buttons. He was thin like me, but shorter. Other
than our body types, I was never able to see the resemblance that
other people inevitably did.
He squeezed me up until I began chuckling and gasping for
air. “Love you too, pop.”
“You look good, son,” he said, finally releasing me.
“And I can see why,” Dixie said, winking at Wade, who was
now turning red.
Wade cleared his throat. “I’m very happy to meet you both.”
“For God’s sake, Mother,” I crossed the room, signaling for
Wade to take a seat if he wanted. “Behave yourself, and try to
remember you’re my mother and this isn’t an episode of Sex in
the New Mex-City.”
“Always were too smart for your own good.” She scowled
at me before directing her attention back toward Wade. “Quite
the mouth on this one; you sure you know what you’re getting
yourself into?”
My father grabbed her up, causing her to squeal again as he
tickled her while growling like a beast. I placed a hand over my
face and began laughing, realizing they weren’t going to make any
attempt to dial things down for my sake. They settled down and
let loose of one another after a few eye rolls over my obvious
embarrassment.
“I’m well acquainted with his mouth, yes.” Wade began to sit
and the redness in his cheeks returned after realizing the way that
had sounded. “I mean…well…he sure is chatty.”
He looked to me for help as Mom and Dad stood there minus
any and all expression as they stared at Wade.
“You wouldn’t be doing anything dirty with my boy would
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you?” Rocky asked, causing Wade to squirm around on the sofa.
“Of course…n-no sir.” Wade glanced at me and noticed I
was doing my best to not crack up. “Oh hell, you’re all messing
with me.”
Mom and Dad both lost it, clinging to one another as they
cracked up. I shook my head and rounded the blond pressed
wood coffee table with its glass center and brass trim, before
taking a seat next to Wade.
“You might be the worst liar I’ve ever seen,” Rocky said, trying
to catch his breath as he confronted Wade with that particular
revelation.
“That’s a good quality in a man, monkey,” Dixie said to me,
placing a hand on Rocky’s shoulder for balance.
I patted Wade’s leg and he let out a sigh of relief.
“We’re just yankin’ your chain, son.”
“Though not nearly as much as Boone has been from the
look of guilt on that one’s face,” Dixie added, pointing at Wade,
and they both cracked up with renewed the vigor.
“I’m getting hazed by your parents.” Wade nodded, smiling
like a good sport.
I forced an empathetic grin. “Welcome to the family?”
q q q
Mom and Pop were a QVC programmer’s wet dream. They
never saw a piece of cheesy southwestern home décor they could
resist. Even the things that
could’ve
been used tastefully, such as
the bull’s skull that hung on the wall above the fireplace, went
one step too far, having been repurposed into a wall clock.
But it was actually the blatant overuse of accent pieces, like
the Terracotta wolves howling at the moon, the bad hotel-room
desertscape paintings, the switch plates and outlet covers with a
painted plastic green lizard crawling across them, and the table
lamps doubling as plate holders that came with hand painted
wolf collector plates and matching scenic lamp shades, that really
126 Ethan Day
pushed things over the edge.
I could tell Wade was doing his best not to pull an open-
mouthed stare as he surveyed the jam-packed room. It was
almost more than the average individual could handle. And God
love him, despite the fact he was drowning in it, Wade maintained
a level of composure that impressed me. Especially considering,
had it been the other way around, I’d have likely been pointing
around furiously while offering up yet another rant of epic
proportions.
“You boys want a beer?” Rocky asked, rubbing his hands
together.
“Yes, please,” Wade blurted out.
I tried not to snicker, but obviously failed, considering he
smacked me playfully on the leg.
“I’ll get ‘em,” Dixie said, pushing Rocky toward his pleather
lounge chair that had the cup holders built into the arm rests.
“Baby boy can give me a hand. Come on monkey.”
“Be right back.” I winked at Wade, who settled into the sofa,
seeming to relax a bit more. “You need help with four beers?”
“I made snacks, too!” she snapped back. “We’re pullin’ out
the red carpet for your man.”
I paused in the doorway to the kitchen and made a mental
note to do everything humanly possible to prevent Wade from
entering this room. It was as if the Crayola factory had exploded.
The cabinets were turquoise with rust colored lizards stenciled
on all the doors. There were ceramic red chili peppers and green
bell peppers on a string, dangling from hooks along the dark
yellow walls.
The dinette set would’ve been enough to revive the dead; the
table was painted bright orange and had an Aztec themed mural
painted in the center. Each of the four matching chairs had been
painted a different color of the earth-toned rainbow, and the
counters were cluttered with kitsch as far as the eye could see.
“Damn, Boone,” Dixie said, her back to me as she crossed the
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127
long galley kitchen in order to get to the black fridge on the far
side. “You neglected to mention he was so
hot
. It’s unlike
you
to
leave out such details. I almost wet myself.”
I came up behind her, hearing the clinking of bottles as she
began passing them to me one at a time, while trying to get over
the fact she’d just insinuated what a brag-hag she thought I was.
“Your uncle Barry would have had a coronary at the sight of
Wade.”
I nodded in agreement, amazed that she still managed to
consider her brother and how he’d react in any given situation
all these years later. It made me sad for her. To continue to miss
another person so strongly after so many years seemed more like
a punishment. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to love anyone that
much. An ick shot through my gut, like a warning sign that I was
teetering on the edge of falling into that kind of love already.
“You don’t think it’s weird, right?”
Dixie stood and stared at me blankly. She seemed to realize
I was referring to the speedy nature of our relationship because
she rolled her eyes before rummaging through a drawer, pulling
out a bottle opener.
“I knew your daddy was the one the first time I laid eyes on
him.” She paused momentarily after the last metal cap bounced
across the countertop. “The way he smiled and the sound of his
voice, repeating my name back to me. All he had to do was say
Dixie, and my panties practically fell right off.”
“Okay, that’s quite enough torture-by-mommy story time.”
I felt a cold shiver run roughshod over my body as I attempted
to reject the disturbing mental picture she’d attempted to force
upon me. “I find it difficult to imagine really
knowing
so soon.”
I sighed, picking up a beer and taking a swig. “To be perfectly
honest, it all scares the shit out of me.”
She laughed and shook her head as if to say, poor silly, silly
boy. She placed her hands on my shoulders. “That tells me
everything I need to know.”
“What do you mean by that?” I scowled as she pointed at the
128 Ethan Day
other three bottles, signaling me to grab them. “Your only child is
frightened and you think now the best time to hold back?”
“If you didn’t love him you wouldn’t care what happened one
way or another.”
I sighed, taking one more drink before gathering up the other
three long necks between my fingers. I was trying to process the
informational wisdom my mother had imparted when she yelled
at me to quit dawdling and follow her, for Pete’s sake.
q q q
When I came back into the living room I heard my father
saying, “With Dixie’s brother being gay and all, I’d long since
gotten over most issues of my own. And I really wanted to
understand all aspects of my son’s life, especially the one or two
that continued to weird me out. I wanted my boy to be able to
come to me about anything. So his mother and I went on over to
the adult bookstore down on…”
“Dad!” I thrust his beer at him and smiled weakly at Wade.
“Can we
not
share that story?”
“Boone’s always been modest when it comes to frank sexual
discussions,” Dixie said.
I could tell Wade practically shat himself, his eyes bugging out
slightly hearing my mother referring to
me
as modest. I could tell
he now realized that my family had their very own special scale
with which we used to measure one another’s share-a-bility ratio.
Dixie placed a tray full of cream cheese stuffed black olives
on the table. They’d been shaped to look like tiny penguins,
utilizing carrots for the feet and beaks. “Your father only tried it
in the first place because he wanted to have some understanding
of what sex…”
“We don’t need to share
everything
on the first visit, guys.” I
exhaled, faux sobbing. “And I do not have issues talking about
sex.”
“What’s the big deal?” Rocky asked, looking at Dixie with a
nonchalant shrug.
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129
“I’d really like for there to be a second visit, if it’s all the same
to you.”
Dixie shook her head at me. “You try connecting with your
son…”
I couldn’t tell whether or not Wade was wigging out, which I
both loved and hated at the same time. I plopped myself down
on the sofa next to him.
So much for not being a good liar.
Wade leaned forward and picked up one of the tooth picked
penguins and smiled. I realized I neglected to mention my mother
had an unnatural infatuation for food shaped to look like animals.
“Kids don’t always appreciate what they have until it’s gone.”
Wade took a sip from his beer. “I was lucky to have had a lot of
one-on-one time with my own dad.”
“I was sorry to hear you’d lost both your parents so early,”
Dixie said, practically preening as Wade chewed on his penguin,
making moans of approval. “I think that’s just so awful for you
and your baby sister.”
“We were very close.” Wade awkwardly held onto the used
toothpick, as if wondering what he was supposed to do with it.
“He and I discussed everything.”
“See there,” Rocky said, pointing at Wade.
“Just set it on the side of the tray,” I whispered to Wade
before addressing my father. “He doesn’t mean everything in the
literal sense.”
“We’re talkin’ anal intercourse and strap-ons, here.” Rocky
said with a curt nod. “I don’t see what the big deal is.”
Wade coughed, choking as he attempted to swallow his food.
He forced a smile and nodded while I patted his back.
“So, you guys planning a move?” Wade asked.
“I told you already, that was probably a sign for a neighbor’s
house or something.” I shook my head as if to say, he never
listens to me, and I leaned back into the sofa, realizing it was
likely his desperate attempt to steer the conversation away from
all things anal.
130 Ethan Day
“We are actually,” Rocky said, rocking back and forth in his
recliner. “We’re selling the house and we’re gonna buy an RV!”
I sat back up, wide eyed. “Since when?”
“Settle yourself down. We were going to tell you tonight.
We’ve always wanted to travel more and with you moving it