Authors: Ethan Day
Tags: #MLR Press; ISBN 978-1-60820-237-9; Sequel to Sno Ho
fifties outside.
I surveyed Sandy’s house, which was like any of the others
lining each side of the street. Not that they were all the same
architecturally speaking, but each one had been kept up,
meticulously. My neighbor back home, Mrs. Diaz, would have
been in heaven. I made a mental note not to tell her where I was
relocating to, as she’d likely try warning everyone I wasn’t the
meticulous sort when it came to pride of ownership.
The wood lap siding was painted a bright daisy yellow, while
all the trim, like the milled porch columns and the saw tooth
shingling adorning the peaks, had been painted a crisp, clean
white. I felt Wade take my hand and I became all giddy on the
inside, while trying to keep my cool on the outside.
It was odd to me, participating in PDA with Wade in a tiny
town like this. I kept expecting to hear someone yelling
Faggot!
Not that I was wishing for it, but I had this perception of what
small town life for gays would be like, and standing on the street
in broad daylight while holding hands with my boyfriend wasn’t
included. But I loved that Wade was so incredibly comfortable in
his own skin. And even though it required constant reminders on
160 Ethan Day
my end, I’d decided to let him set the tone of what was acceptable.
“Can you believe it’s so warm out?” Jackie said, as she walked
up to us.
“It is odd, but nice,” Wade said, squinting from the bright sun.
“I’m totally laying out later this afternoon.” I nodded. “Can’t
wait
to soak up those rays.”
“The smart mouth on this one,” Jackie said, looking at her
brother.
“You’re one to talk, lady,” I declared.
“Afraid he’s got you on that one, Jackie.”
She giggled, as if enjoying her reign as the Sarcasm Queen of
Summit City. “Whose idea was it to have this lunch at the bird
lady’s house?”
Christ, I hate birds.
“Apparently Sandy insisted.” Wade shrugged. “Wouldn’t take
no for an answer.”
Maybe it’s only a nickname that comes from her crazy taste in bird-
themed wallpaper?
“I’m shocked, since I’m fairly certain she’s none too keen on
me,” I said, frowning. “And I thought for sure she’d be the first
one to hop on the Boone bandwagon when I met her.”
“You don’t actually seem all that surprised at being wrong.”
Jackie pointed out, pulling off her sunglasses.
“Of course not,” I said, matter-of-factly. “I’m a horrible judge
of character.”
“That’s for sure,” Wade teased.
I punched him in the arm, which I believe actually hurt me
more than it did him considering he didn’t even flinch while my
knuckles popped. “You could at least wait thirty seconds before
heartily agreeing with me.”
“Please,” Wade said. “Thirty seconds in Boone-time and God
only knows where the conversation would be.”
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161
“He’s got
you
on that one,” Jackie said and I nodded, reluctantly.
“Real birds?” I asked.
“Huh?” Wade asked, shaking his head as if to rid himself of
the cobwebs. “Yes, real birds.”
“Fucking things drive me nuts,” Jackie said, heading up the
sidewalk toward the porch, causing Wade and I laugh as she made
loud shrieking and squawking noises.
“Will you please try to control yourself, Jackie?” Wade asked,
doing his best to sound disapproving despite laughing his ass off.
“How many does she have?” I asked, following Jackie after
Wade let go of my hand.
Wade shrugged and placed his hand on the small of my back,
nudging me forward. “I don’t know—a dozen or so.”
“Too many,” Jackie snapped.
I felt my lip snarling up as climbed the steps that led to her
front door. I’d hated birds since the third grade, when Samantha
Jacobs brought her vicious, killer parakeet for show and tell.
She’d defied the teacher, Mrs. Venable, by taking it out of its
cage. The psychotic, yellow viper flew right out of her hand and
dive bombed the top of my head, digging its tiny talons into my
scalp. It kept pecking me as I screamed, running around in circles
while all the other kids pointed and laughed. Only Gabe and Mrs.
Venable attempted to rescue me; Samantha Jacobs shrieked at the
top of her lungs while Gabe tried to whack the tiny demon with
his bright orange Trapper Keeper.
I plastered on a smile when Sandy opened the front door.
I could spy a cage through the front window and I wasn’t
sure, but it seemed to me that the closer I got to crossing the
threshold the noisier the birds became. Jackie gave Sandy a quick
peck and pushed on ahead, disappearing into the vortex of
Ornithophobiaville. With each step I took, I could hear Alfred
Hitchcockian music swelling in my head, the rustling of feathers
and the rattling of cages getting louder, as if they could sense my
presence and were readying themselves to attack.
162 Ethan Day
“You okay?” Wade whispered.
“Mmm hmm,” I squeaked, realizing my entire body had gone
rigid.
Wade began softly massaging my shoulders.
“They already all love you, so relax,” Wade whispered, planting
a discreet soft kiss on my neck just below my ear. “Well, all but
Sandy, I guess.”
I resisted the urge to smack him upside the head since I
suspected that would do nothing to endear me to Sandy, who
was now smothering Wade with adoration.
“Oh Wade,” Sandy cooed as she hugged him, her eyes shut
tight, an expression of bliss having taken over her face. “You’re
just the best thing to ever come out of Summit City, you
handsome, dear sweet boy!”
I stood there smiling, invisible. Wade was profusely thanking
Sandy for always taking such good care of him. It was all I could
do to keep from vomiting, thereby hosing her down in Exorcist-
esque flair.
“Oh, hello Boone,” Sandy finally said after releasing the Ninja
death grip she had on my man. “I didn’t see you there.”
I was opening my mouth to thank her and she knew it, yet she
turned to help Wade out of his coat as if she didn’t care to hear it.
“Thank you for offering up your lovely home to us today,” I
said, way louder than necessary.
“I’m not deaf dear,” she added, before leading Wade down
the hall by the hand. “And would you mind getting the door.”
No please, I’ll hang up my own coat.
“So sorry, I could have sworn
you had a hearing problem,” I mumbled under my breath as I
shut the front door behind me. I took off my coat and hung it on
a peg from the coat rack.
The real reason I’d yelled it was so others would hopefully
overhear it, and she couldn’t try lying after the fact by saying I’d
rudely not bothered to thank her.
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163
As I turned to go down the hall, where all the chatter was
coming from, I heard a loud squawk. Followed by Sandy sweetly
asking something called Peanut to settle down and be quiet.
The hallway began getting longer and darker as I mumbled,
“Sounded bigger than anything named Peanut should.”
Wade stepped back and peered down the hallway at me. “You
coming?”
“Mmm hmm,” I squeaked, forcing my leg, with every ounce
of sheer will I could muster, to take that first step.
A high pitched shriek came from my right and I ducked
down, tossing my arms over my head for safety. I slowly turned
and peered into a small sitting room with an upright black piano
and a small settee. I spied two yellow parakeets in a white metal
cage that hung from a wrought iron stand. There was a cat sitting
on the floor staring up at them as if it were making plans.
Kill kitty, kill!
The parakeets squeaked and began fluttering around in the
cage and I felt my eyes widen. I took off down the hall, fearing
for my life. I could hear the haunting laughter of my classmates
echoing all around me.
Wade cocked his head as I continued to make strides across the
wood floors, which creaked under the weight of each footstep.
Just keep your eyes forward and walk toward the man you love
.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Wade whispered once I reached
him. “You’re acting weird.”
Del came up and shoved Wade out of the way, giving me a
good, solid hug. “Wonderful to see you, my boy.” She ushered me
into the room and sat me in a chair next to the one Wade plopped
down into.
The family room was too small for this many people, I thought,
taking in my surroundings. The furniture was dainty, covered in
feminine floral fabrics—like something you’d expect to see in a
dollhouse. And there actually was crazy bird-themed wallpaper.
A porcelain tea set sat on the coffee table, along with a few
164 Ethan Day
matching cups and saucers, including the regular accoutrements
one would expect to find, such as lemon and cream.
For some reason I wasn’t quite able to focus on the actual
conversations going on around me. There was the clinking of
the china, and the rustling of fabric as everyone settled down.
I’d plastered on a smile, glancing around the room, making eye
contact while nodding my greetings. But couldn’t have repeated
a single word anyone had uttered. I was too busy making sure I
kept my gaze away from the one area of the room I knew held
evil.
Del was to my right, followed by Rita, the drama teacher. The
Mayor’s wife, whose name I couldn’t recall was next, along with
Jackie, then Maggie the romantic, and finally, Sandy the nut bag
bird lady.
They were all dressed up as if ready for Sunday service, hair
perfectly in place and make-up flawlessly and tastefully applied.
I cursed myself after my gaze flitted over to Wade because that’s
when I caught a good glimpse of it. A huge ass, mother fucking
Cockatoo, on one of those T-posts, sat in the corner behind
Sandy and Wade. It was salmon pink and white and kept bobbing
its head up and down as it sat perched on the stand.
Stupid thing looks like it’s trying to give head.
“Asshole,” the bird said, as if having been able to read my
thoughts.
Rita, Jackie and Mrs. Mayor all started laughing.
“Honestly Sandy,” Del said, “can’t you do anything about
that?”
“He’s a rescue, Del,” Sandy snapped. “Peanut’s come a long
way in the past year, but some habits he just can’t seem to break
himself of.”
“It is difficult to stop with the asshole once you start,” I said
under my breath with a grin.
Wade coughed, obviously pretending to choke as he reached
over and grabbed my knee, squeezing harder than necessary.
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165
“What was that Boone?” Sandy asked, pointedly. “I didn’t
quite catch that.”
“So sorry, I was too loud before,” I replied. “And I’m too
quiet now. Aren’t you just a little slice of Goldilocks?” I patted
Wade’s hand. “I was simply saying that I’ve heard worse terms of
endearment.”
“Worse than what?” Sandy asked, obviously lost.
“Than asshole, dear.” I smiled sweetly, as did she since
everyone was already cracking up. Of course, I could tell she
didn’t appreciate the insinuation.
“So when are your parents getting here, Boone?” Mrs. Mayor
asked. “We’re all excited to meet them.”
I was cursing my bad memory while making a mental note to
have Wade remind me of her name at some point. “They’ll be in
tomorrow afternoon. My friends are arriving today, so we can all
go out tonight for dinner and drinks.”
“His parents will be staying on for a few extra days after
the party to see the town and spend some time with us,” Wade
interjected.
“I can’t wait to meet them,” Jackie said, tapping her fingers
together as if she instinctively knew they would be the train
wreck she suspected. “I’m practically dying from the curiosity.”
I took the cup of tea Del offered me, wishing it were coffee.
“They’ll likely not disappoint.”
Wade accepted one as well, the delicate tea cup appearing
smaller in his big hands. “They’re very sweet, don’t let him
convince you otherwise. Made me feel right at home.”
“They put you through a parental hazing,” I said.
Del was tickled at that thought and I could already tell Jackie
wanted details, but restrained herself considering we were in
mixed company.
“They were just messing with me, teasing really.” Wade smiled,
clarifying for everyone else.
166 Ethan Day
“I for one, am so happy you agreed to the party tomorrow
night,” Maggie said, placing a hand over her heart. “I really think
we’ve outdone ourselves, and it was so much fun planning and
organizing it.”
“Of course, Maggie has a twisted sense of fun, mind you,”
Rita elaborated. “But it is going to be beautiful.”
“It did make sense to do it this way,” I said taking a sip of tea.