Authors: Christine Fonseca
Lacrimosa (15 page)
“I don’t understand. You shouldn’t be alive. You can’t be.”
“But I am.”
“Then you must be a…” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence. To admit the truth.
“A Seer.”
I nod.
“I am.”
“I thought the Seers were a dead race.”
“We almost are. In fact, Momma said I was the last one. I’m not sure I believe that though.” She releases a labored breath and closes her eyes. After a moment she shakes her head, opens her eyes, a sad smile forming on her face. “Most of my kind were killed by a powerful monster with large black wings, empty eyes.”
“Azzaziel.”
“Yes. Aydan’s friend, I think. He’s much worse than Aydan.”
“You said ‘most were killed’ by him. What happened to the rest?”
“Suicide. It’s the only way to keep him from stealing our souls. Momma killed herself to protect me. She was a Seer too.”
Lori’s eyes cloud over as her tears spill over cheeks—just like they did the day I left her for Aydan, the day I died. “I’m sorry, Lori. I didn’t know.”
“She died to save me. I never understood that choice before last night. But now…now I think it’s the only way.”
“No. I don’t believe that.”
“Azza knows who I am,
what
I am. He’s relentless. He’ll hunt me and he won’t stop until I’m dead, until he’s claimed my soul.”
The thought of Azzaziel or anyone hurting Lori sickens me, strengthening my resolve. I have to end this.
First Aydan. Then Azzaziel. Mikayel’s warnings or not. I will not let him hurt my human sister.
“Why does he need
your
soul?” I ask, knowing there’s more to this story.
“I don’t know. When Azza took me, he called me the one he’d been searching for to fulfill his plans. He said he’ll follow me to the ends of the Earth, that I’d never be safe now that he can recognize me.” More tears fill Lori’s eyes. “Nesy, I’m tired of running. I’ve been hiding for centuries. I can’t do it anymore. I’ll die before I let him touch me again.”
“What if I could find a way to protect you? Make it so he could never hurt you again?” I don’t care that she isn’t my assignment. I don’t care about Mikayel’s warnings or the Council’s wishes.
This is personal.
“You can’t protect me all the time.”
“I’ll find a way. I swear it.” I hug my sister again, determined to keep my promise. “I’m here for Aydan. But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to let Azzaziel take you. I have to figure this out. In the meantime, I need you to hide. Keep yourself safe. It’ll only be for a day or so.”
“Momma’s choice makes more sense.” Lori lowers her head, mouthing one word. “Suicide.”
“No! That’s not an option. There are horrible consequences for that—things far worse than losing your soul.” Lori will not pay for my failures.
“Before I agree to hide again,” Lori says, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I need to ask you something.” Her hands again fumble with the winged charm around her neck.
“What is it?”
She takes a deep breath. “Do you know who Aydan really is?”
An involuntary shutter ripples through me at the mention of his name. “Yes,” I whisper.
“You know that he was Adam? Before?”
Hearing the words from her lips somehow makes everything worse. More real. “Yes. I know.”
“And you’re sure you can still do this? Protect me from him, from Azza?”
I fight back the rush of emotions and ignore the crushing weight of despair threatening to rip me in two. Aydan is not Adam. Not anymore. He is an UnHoly, one I’m ordered to kill. I have to say the words. Force myself to admit the truth. “Aydan isn’t the person I fell in love with in Germany.” The words scrape across my lips. I swallow, desperate to quench my suddenly dry mouth. “He’s nothing more than a monster. And I always chase away the monsters.”
“But he had you pinned last night. Maybe he’s too strong for you.”
Why does everyone keep thinking that? He is
not
too strong for me.
“He caught me off-guard, nothing more. That won’t happen again.”
A slight wind ruffles my hair, carrying the putrid scent of the Dark One. Azzaziel. My senses go to full alert as I begin to scan the crowd for him. “Lori, I need you to tell me exactly what Azza said when he took you last night.” My angelic form pushes against my body, poised to fight. “Every word.” I turn back to my sister.
“He—” The words fade on her tongue. Her eyes roll back into her skull and she begins to convulse.
Spasm after spasm rolls through her body as she slips off the wall.
Azryel’s Wings, not now. “Someone help!” I shout. “Please!” Panic breaks through my hardened façade as I struggle to reign in my true self.
A few teachers run toward me. Cass and Zane materialize, visible only to me.
“Help her,” I cry again.
A teacher bends over and tips Lori’s head back as her mouth foams. “It looks like a seizure. Get help.”
A student runs off towards the office. I remain, unable to move.
“I’ve got it, Nes,” Zane says. I feel his hand on my shoulder, feel him calming my thoughts. “I’ll protect her. Go and find the source.” Zane opens his palms. A burst of bright emerald light emanates from his hands, bathing Lori. Her convulsions quiet.
Thanks,
I say through my mind.
Don't let anything else happen to her. Please.
My desperation seethes, turning to rage.
“Just go. Hurry.” Cass holds Lori’s hand.
Fueled by anger, I search the throng of onlookers.
He has to be here
. Our eyes meet immediately—black pits that hold no life. I see his face, the Celtic tattoo glistening on his neck, his black hair tied back. A smile curls his lips as I push through the crowd, anxious to ring his neck.
I plow through the students to the spot where he stood.
Too late. He vanishes into smoke seconds before I reach him.
“Looking for me?” His voice snakes around me.
“Leave her alone, Azzaziel,” I say to the crowd. “This isn’t about her.”
“I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. It is exactly about her. I’ve been looking for her for a long time.”
I turn towards the voice. Azza reappears in human form across the quad. His face is painted with a sadistic smile. I want to run to him. Engage him. Kill him.
But I won’t. Because that is what he wants. Mustering all of my resolve, I square my shoulders, speaking to the air. “Soon, Azzaziel. You’ll pay for everything soon.” I turn and walk back to Lori.
“I’m looking forward to it, little angel. More than you know.”
I ignore his taunt, thinking only of Lori. “How is she?” I ask when I reach her.
“Weak, but alive,” the teacher answers. “The ambulance should be here soon. I’m sure she’ll be okay.”
I look to Cass and Zane.
“She's fine. Who’s the source? Aydan or Azzaziel?” Zane asks.
Azzaziel. Lori’s the Seer he’s been hunting
, I think.
He wants her soul and we need to figure out what he’s up to. Determine if he really is forming an army
.
The paramedics make their way across the quad.
There’s more. I promised I’d keep her safe. I won’t let Azzaziel hurt my sister.
“She’s your sister? From Germany?” Cass asks.
So it seems.
I can’t take my eyes off Lori. She looks so peaceful, just like when she was young.
“He’s not your target, Nes.” Zane's voice draws my attention to him. “And neither is the Seer.”
I know. But things are different. She will not pay for my mistakes. We have to protect her. At least until we figure out why Azzaziel is so bent on killing her.
“You just worry about Aydan.” Zane grabs my arm.
Blazes! I wish he’d give the whole do-your-duty thing a break.
I pull away from him.
Will you help me protect her?
Zane is stoic.
“Will you?” The onlookers spin and stare at me. I turn away.
“I’ll talk to Sariel. He’ll send the Guardians to keep watch over her,” Cass says.
Okay. But quietly. I’m in enough trouble with Mikayel.
“He’ll want to know.” Zane isn’t going to let this go.
And I’ll tell him later. Right now, I just really need you to keep my sister safe. Please.
Even in my thoughts I sound desperate.
Zane nods. The paramedics place Lori on a stretcher.
Go with her. I’ll meet you there
. I watch my friends vanish as the ambulance takes Lori away.
Things have completely spun out of control. Aydan’s my lover. Lori’s my sister. And Azzaziel knows exactly who I am.
Great.
How am I supposed to finish this now?
Chapter 20 - Fury
Aydan
The quad bustles with activity. Lori, looking more dead than alive, is wheeled off campus. The angels, Nesy’s friends, follow, guarding over the young girl. Do they know who she is?
What
she is?
Anger ripples through me, rustling my wings. He did it; he really did it.
No!
I scream through the silence in my thoughts.
No!
Azza’s laugh fills me as he taunts Nesy. “You’d better keep a close watch on her, little angel. I have big plans for her. And Aydan.”
Nesy screams in frustration, leaving campus. She disappears into the endless throng of onlookers. She’ll never believe that I had nothing to do with this. Never see me as anything other than her target. Azza’s apprentice. The UnHoly.
And she shouldn’t. Not now.
I try to picture a life without Azza and his crazy obsessions. One without the Beast urging me to feed.
Only me and Nesy
—
nothing more than a fantasy.
Our love forever strong
—
and a lie.
No violence, no Azza
—
there will never be “no Azza”, not for you.
I need to pretend it can happen. Pretend I’m not a killer.
Lies, lies, lies.
My stomach clenches as hunger again fills my body—never-ending hunger. And a reminder. There is…
No.
Way.
Out.
Chapter 21 - Broken Tears
Nesy
I sleep in the chair next to Lori’s hospital bed, reliving the fragments of my former life. Memories of Lorelei. The times we spent collecting eggs, making butter, milking cows. Mundane tasks I enjoyed with my sister. Until Adam.
After he came, my world changed, becoming promises and secrets. Dreams and desire.
In my mind, I feel his kisses, his embrace. I needed him then. Craved him. Every moment we spent apart felt like an eternity, every moment together—heaven.
But that was another life.
My thoughts change as images of Aydan’s killing sprees alternate with the pictures of my life with Adam, tormenting my sleep.
More than once, I startle awake only to see the concerned faces of my friends and the Guardians. Their expressions remind me of how messed up I am. No Sentinal gets involved. No Sentinal
feels
these feelings.