Inevitable (16 page)

God I was such a pathetic female.
I had only been on the bike for two days. I ached and had sore skin.

‘But you’re alive!’ I spoke out loud and stared at myself in the mirror, waiting for the words to penetrate. I plonked the bottle back on the stained corner of the bath.

Pain meant I could still feel, and surely that had to be a good thing?

Nathan’s voice carried through the cardboard door between us.

‘You coming out?... I took a vote and I voted for a pizza delivery…plus a carry out of beer.’

‘Yes, I’m just coming…’ I waited for a normal Nathan quip to follow, when none came I opened the door with some trepidation. A smile broke over my face. He was laying on the double bed, his boots, socks, trousers and T-shirt were off and in a ball on the floor. He was laid out on his back, in just his tight fitting boxers, with his right arm bent and up, almost shielding his eyes. His left hand was lowering a fat arsed piece of the most delicious, greasy looking pizza into his mouth. The cheese was literally sliding off the top of the tomato sauce. He looked and sounded like a kid with their favourite sweets. I stood stock still just for a minute and took in the gorgeous sight spread out in front of me. He really was a sight to behold, he had always worked out regularly when we were together six months back, and he had obviously continued that regime. The definition of his chest and abs literally had me dribbling and his Adonis’s V, well, I tore my eyes away quickly. The additional artwork on his upper chest was intricate and quite beautiful, I followed one of the lines as it twirled and split. I had no idea what the design was actually of, it was so complex. My eyes made it to his left nipple, the one that now contained the barbell. I examined the tattoo around it and unexpectedly fathomed out that the letter B was wrapped around his nipple and lay straight over his heart.

‘So when ya can fucking peel yourself away from gawping at me, darlin, I’d suggest you pick up a slice and come and join me,’ he mumbled in between taking mouthfuls.

I didn’t hesitate. I jumped up and onto the creaky old bed with a loud laugh. Very deliberately I lay myself down crossways over his prone, hard body and reached down by the side of the bed to pick up another piece of the piping hot deliciousness. I folded the slice in half and attempted to get myself back up to the top of the bed to lie next to Nathan.

I hadn’t really thought my grand plan through properly though. It was a given that I had wanted to lay on top of his body, I had strategically positioned my groin to his and then I had lowered my top half to the floor. Now with a piece of pizza in one hand and the other hand reluctant to touch the old grimy looking carpet, I was rocking myself at the pivotal point, just trying to gather enough momentum to actually get back up to my starting position. I was just beginning to feel like a beached whale, when I felt his cock begin to harden underneath me. I couldn’t help myself and as well as rocking back and forth, I started to roll my hips.

Nathan’s arm that had previously been shielding his eyes came down quickly and grabbed the top of my arm. He pulled me back up with ease. I fell into his waiting arms, laughing out loud, but still managed to hold on to my pizza.

‘You owe me,’ he growled, as he rolled me off him and onto my back. I was still laughing and trying to eat the cheese from the top of my slice. I could appreciate it wasn’t a bloody attractive sight. I was dropping the strings of hot cheese that I had pulled off the top, from a height into my open mouth. I must have looked like a baby bird being fed worms. I was lowering the last piece slowly and decadently into my waiting open mouth, I could almost taste its delectable flavour, when all at once the man lying beside me grabbed my hand and sucked the cheese from my fingers.

My whole body ignited.

‘You did not just eat my food?’ I hollered at him, as he fell back prone on the bed next to me.

‘I told you, ya owed me, darlin,’ he roared with laughter. ‘Now eat up… I’m going for a shower… I need to be out in time for our call from Alex.’

I watched as he jumped off the bed and started to push down his boxers with both hands, then he trod on them to get them off his feet, before he made his way into the bathroom. Just before the door closed to behind him, I got an eyeful of one hell of a fine and wonderfully bare arse. I plonked myself back down on the lumpy mattress and continued to consume the autocratically voted for pizza.

‘If you’re a very good girl… there are fudge brownies for dessert,’ he shouted back out to me.

The shower started and I couldn’t think of anything else, other than a wet Nathan soaping himself down in the shower. Not even the promise of brownies could interrupt my train of thought. I licked my fingers clean and moved as carefully and quietly as I could to the bathroom door, on high alert. I used just the pads of my fingers to gingerly push at the plywood door, I knew my nails would make a tap on the door and I didn’t want my voyeurism to be witnessed. Very slowly it opened an inch at a time. The mirror was steamed up and was absolutely bloody useless, so I pushed once again until I could clearly see exactly what I had been craving.

Nathan was standing to the side of me and had one arm leaning on the shower wall in front of him, his other hand was between his legs, the very place I knew it would be. Water and soap was running down his body, touching and stroking what I couldn’t as it made its path to the floor. His hand was moving faster, fisting up and down the length of his large cock. His breathing quickened as he began his ascent to orgasm. I couldn’t see everything clearly through the patterned glass screen, which made it even more erotic. I reached down and lifted the bottom of my T-shirt to help me find the scrap of material in between my legs. I was soaked. Carefully and silently, I grazed one of my long nails over the triangle of fabric, catching my very swollen, throbbing clit in the process. I repeated the action again, knowing it wouldn’t take much for me to fall over the edge with him. I wanted his fingers to touch me. I listened to his breathing once again and knew he had reached his precipice.

‘Bella,’ was the one word he uttered as the hot spurts left his body, his hips flexed forward a couple of times more and I heard him sigh. ‘Go back, remove that goddamn T-shirt and lay face down on the bed… you’d better not have finished yourself off, darlin.’

My head shot up to meet his eyes, as they burned as clear as day through the frosted screen and stared straight at me. Of course he had known I was watching, I could always feel when he was around, so it was only right that he could feel me as well.

I left the tiny damp room in a heightened state of arousal, just anticipating his touch. I knew I wouldn’t last long. I frantically pulled off his clean T-shirt and threw it on the chair that contained his jacket. The water stopped as I laid myself face down on the bed and waited. I felt the bed lower at the base near my feet and I inhaled a deep shuddering breath in anticipation. I felt his breath blowing carefully up the backs of my calves, my skin puckered under his touch and immediately turned to goose bumps. When he reached the back of my knees, he licked them simultaneously and then he bit the tender sensitive middle. I was so close to coming and he hadn’t even really touched me. I was grateful to get lost in us, it was cleansing and real, when the rest of my life was spiralling out of control.

He spread my legs apart and fell onto his knees in between them. He stroked the calloused fingers of both his hands slowly up the backs of my thighs.

‘What do you need…darlin? I told you I’d take care of ya… tell me what you need.’

‘I want you, Nathan. I need you, please…’ I managed to murmur.

My thong was abruptly pulled tight as I felt his large hand wrap itself in the scrap of thin lace between my bum cheeks, in turn the triangle of fabric lifted and pulled tightly against my clit, and then he bit hard into my bum cheek. That was all it took to make me explode. The sweet welcome of release, contrasting to the bite of his ownership on my arse. The white blinding light filled my closed eyelids. I cried out to him in my ecstasy.

‘You are mine… and only mine, I think you forgot that before, when you left… I sure as hell won’t let you… ever fucking forget it again.’

He kissed, licked and bit a path all the way up my spine, when he reached the top he pulled my boneless body into his arms as he fell onto the bed next to me. We lay like that for several minutes, staring at each other and running our hands over each other’s bodies.

‘OK, Bella, it’s time for us to share…I’ll start.’ He kissed the tip of my nose, in encouragement.

I heard him take a deep breath as we settled into position, his front to my back. His leg over both of mine, holding me close to him and his head above mine on the pillow.

‘My dad died when I was three, he died in a motorbike accident. Yeah, I know what your thinking,’ he added as I gasped. ‘I don’t remember too much about him. What I do remember is that our house was happy when he was there and then once he had died our house became so goddamn fucked up. I remember he looked much like Alex does now and that was my big brother’s downfall and in turn his ultimate escape. Our step-father moved quickly into our lives, bringing Ruby with him and, we later found out, a substantial amount of debt. My mother was fucking useless on her own and would have done almost anything to have a man back in her life, even an asshat such as him. Within a couple of years he was beating on Alex and withholding food from him, the moment he saw condemnation in Alex’s eyes he started locking him in a cupboard overnight. Alex was seven and we were five and a half. I have never felt so fucking impotent in all my goddamn life. Scott and I knew what was fucking happening and we couldn’t do a goddamn thing about it.’ He stopped again as if to pull his thoughts together. I knew without even looking at him, that his free hand was running through his hair in exasperation. ‘This went on until Alex became old enough, and strong enough, to stand up to him. He was sent away and then so was Ruby. I can still hear my bitch of a mother demanding that if he couldn’t cope with seeing Alex’s face, because he looked like our dad, then fair was fair and she couldn’t look at Ruby anymore. So the four of us became two, it just left Scott and me. Scott suffered badly with Ruby’s absence, even then it was as if they had found the other half of their souls in each other, and he retreated into himself.’ He took a deep breath, pulled me to him even tighter and then continued, ‘It seemed that I was… well… I was pretty fucking useless to help anyone I loved. I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to my step-father. My brothers and Ruby loved me, but I wasn’t loyal enough to any of them to be able to love them back in the way they needed… I couldn’t fucking help them.’ He stopped and silence filled the darkening room. ‘You asked me two days ago if I had any loyalty… It seems I never fucking have.’

‘Nathan you were a little boy… you couldn’t have possibly stopped a grown man. The three of you boys together couldn’t have stopped him… none of what he did was your fault. None of what happened makes you disloyal… It was all just circumstances beyond your control.’ My face was wet, tears had cascaded down my cheeks at the pain of the little boy, who was now the man before me, the man holding me tight to him as though I was his most precious possession. He made no attempt to answer me and his dreadful story seemed to come to an unexpected end. I knew he had opened up as much as he could cope with for one night. I knew it was my turn.

‘I was the ultimate spoilt rich girl. I come from a loving family. My dad was the local doctor and we led a very comfortable life, we wanted for nothing. I, however, was the headstrong one, I always knew best and put my parents through hell and back, several times over. I needed excitement in my life, I craved something more and I was absolutely convinced that I was bloody entitled to something more.’ I felt Nathan’s grip on me tighten as if to offer me the strength to carry on.

‘I met Ioan at the local pub…’ I hated saying his name. I hated bringing him here into our room, even if it was a seedy, rather shabby, rundown motel room. Nathan continued to hold me, encouraging me, silently telling me that I had to carry on. ‘I worked there at weekends doing the washing-up, just so I could buy better quality make-up and more grown-up looking clothes. He was good looking. He paid me a lot of attention and I lapped it up. The fact he was older than me, well that just gave me so much more street cred with most of the girls I was at school with. All that is, except Frankie. I allowed him to convince me we were made for each other, I accepted it when he started to turn me against people that loved me the most… I turned my back on everything decent my parents had ever taught me. He told me he would marry me, when all he really wanted was a step up in the so-called English society, a cover story. In my youth and stupidity, with no other experience, I allowed him in. I sanctioned him to take control of my life and to slowly remove me from the people who loved me. Gradually, I broke their hearts and it shames me even now…. It humiliates me that I could have been so bloody gullible. I am embarrassed that I ignored their advice when it was offered. I am disgusted with myself that I put their lives at risk. The only one that didn’t push me was Frankie. She and Petre saved me in different ways.’ After a very hesitant start, the words tripped over themselves to pour out of my mouth.

I turned over in Nathan’s arms and stared into his face. He kissed me gently on the forehead. Gently he wiped away the tears that had completely soaked my skin and lifted wayward pieces of my hair that had stuck to the wet places on my face. When he was happy that he’d sorted me out, he offered me a small smile of reassurance. His face lowered to mine, his eyes concentrated on my lips and I knew he was about to kiss me. His tongue licked the seam of my partly closed mouth and I opened it, giving him silent permission to claim me and make me his. The kiss was tender and loving. It was understanding and accepting, but mainly it was the two of us discovering each other again. As always his kiss took my breath away.

‘Shall I go on?’ I murmured quietly into his mouth, as a slight gap opened up in between our lips.