Inevitable (13 page)

BELLA

W
e pulled into our first overnight stop, just the other side of Chambersburg. I was physically knackered, and definitely not good to be around.

Nathan made his way into the reception of the motel. In between paying for our overnight stay and chatting to the old guy on the desk, he often glanced around to look out of the large window, I knew he was keeping an eye out for me. He hadn’t deserved the tongue lashing I’d just given him. I had no excuse, but in my defence I was struggling to even get off the bloody bike and feeling less than happy with the whole ridiculous situation. I knew everyone was trying to help but right at this moment, ludicrously tired and very uncomfortable, all I could think about was how much I didn’t want to be there, even if that meant not being with Nathan.

We made our way in silence to the room, I wasn’t surprised we were going to be in one room. I had already worked that one out without asking. I was happy with that, as I knew I was safer with him, but I also wanted a bit of alone time, I needed to wallow in my own thoughts. Wallowing somehow helped me to actually sort through my feelings.

‘Would it be OK if I use the bathroom first, Nathan?’ Even my voice sounded small as if the sheer effort of speaking was too much. This was only day one, and that thought terrified me more than any Antonescu finding me.

Nathan threw himself down on the bed. ‘Go for it.’ I watched as he kicked his unfastened boots off his feet and proceeded to turn his attention to his phone.

A bath was just what the doctor ordered. I sunk down low allowing the water to come up over my shoulders. I could hear Nate moving around in the room next door. He had already been on the phone, hopefully to Alex, Scott or Edwards, as I couldn’t bear to think that it might be to Candy or another of his harem. He had music playing now, I wasn’t sure if it was from the TV or his phone.

A light tap came on the door, but I didn’t have time to answer. Luckily, I’d added copious amounts of bubble bath and the bubbles created a foam privacy screen. I didn’t know why I suddenly felt so shy, shy was definitely not in my remit. I pulled myself together instantly and made sure, by moving slightly upwards in the bathtub, that he could at least see my nipples peeking out. If he dared to walk all the way in, he would get an eyeful.

Mentally I was high fiving myself.

The door pushed further open and I met Nathan’s inquisitive gaze around the door, with a questioning raise of my eyebrows and pursed lips.

‘How ya feeling now, Sassy? Has the bath worked its magic?’ His eyes never left mine.

‘Sorry for being such a bitch, Nathan,’ I heard myself sigh after the statement. I sunk back down into the tub, effectively covering myself up and feeling a little guilty for being a bitch, yet again.

‘Nah, you’re OK.’ I watched as he turned himself around and sat down on the floor, to lean his back against the side of the bath. He had on a pair of black sweat-shorts and an old, faded green T-shirt and his feet were now bare. It wasn’t easy for him, what with his leg and the tiny little room. He dominated the bathroom with his height and presence. I was in awe that he managed to fold himself up so small. I realised that it was deliberate, he wanted to chat and wanted to be down at my level.

‘Oh man, I know how worn out you feel, darlin… but I have just spoken to Alex, they are convinced we need to do this, that this is the best fucking option.’ He leant his head back over the edge of the bath, his longer hair falling from the top of his head, the ends just breaking the top of the foam. I lifted my hand and started to run my fingers through the long strands, gently at first and then after he turned his head and leant it into my hand, with more vigour.

The silence in the small room was oppressive. The heightened sexual tension was making it difficult to breathe, at least with any regular depth. I was aware that I was fully exposed under foam that was beginning to dissipate with slow leisurely pops, because the bar of soap had slipped under the froth when Nathan had leant against the bath. From my relaxed position I could just make out the start of Nathan’s well-defined V and the base of his abs, from where his T-shirt had risen up, in the reflection of the full-length mirror. The bottom of the mirror was the only part that hadn’t steamed up.

‘What do ya need, darlin?’ His voice had deepened and developed a slight rasp to it.

‘I need you, Nathan… I need you to help me forget,’ the whisper left my lips.

I watched now out of my hooded eyes, as he stood and removed his T-shirt, pulling it up from the bottom and over his head in one quick movement. I watched mesmerized at the flex of his muscles and his longer hair as it flopped down over his face. He removed his metal cuffs and chain and placed them to the side of my head. It was only then that I realised, for the first time, they resembled handcuffs.

‘I want you to trust me, Bella? … right at this moment I’m not sure you do; we will have to work on that.’ He knelt down to the side of me and began to move the water with his hands. The few bubbles that were still visible began to part with the gentle movement of the water. The water played with my now burning skin, teasing and caressing me. I slowly began to close my eyes, losing myself in the power he had over me without even touching me. He had a scent of his very own. I could smell the very distinct musky aroma of Nathan, with the traces of his spicy sandalwood body wash.

The water stopped moving and my eyes flew open to meet his gaze, his eyes dilated with arousal.

‘You are the most beautiful woman I have ever had, Bella. You possess me in here.’ I watched as he brought his now wet hand up to his head to tap his temple, it then went straight to his hair and raked through it. If I ever had the luck to grow old with this man, I would never tire of watching him do that. It showed every feeling he had, in that one solitary movement. The same hand came back to my face as he traced the outline of my lips with one finger, my tongue flicked out involuntarily mimicking his movements. His finger then left my lips and moved down to my jaw bone, before his thumb and finger caught my chin to hold me still and his mouth came crashing down to mine. I could hear our mutual gasps and sighs as our mouths literally devoured each other’s.

‘I know what you need, darlin,’ he stated, as he pulled away. Leaving a small fissure between our lips.

Nathan’s hand went down under the warm water and immediately his long fingers found their way in between my legs. I in turn opened them at his touch. Expertly his fingers stroked my already swollen, slick folds and found almost instantly the bud he was searching for. He kissed me and stroked me until I found the release I so needed. I came, moaning into his mouth and bucking myself fervently into his hand. For those few, all too short, minutes I had lost myself to him. Not for the first time since our paths had crossed, I felt that losing myself with him, was like being found properly for the first time. I lifted my hands, that had been stroking my aching nipples, and grabbed onto his broad muscular shoulders, holding him as he leant over me. Nathan removed my previously injured hand and slowly brought it to his lips, as he kissed the remnants of the burn on my palm. His dilated eyes swept down my naked form and then he stared at my scraped shin. Our moment was broken.

‘How the hell did you get that?’ He demanded.

I bit into my bottom lip, under his questioning stare, then bestowed a fleeting smile at him. ‘I was escaping a certain ex of mine.’

I watched as he jumped up in one swift movement, back onto the balls of his feet.

‘I can’t believe he caused an injury like that!... I’ll fucking kill him!’ The anger that suddenly left his physique in waves, was palpable.

‘NATHAN… calm down, it’s not an old wound. I did it the day you arrived in the Hamptons and I ran up the balcony steps, it’s healing now and fading.’ His hands that had been clenched into fists opened up and delved abruptly into the water. He placed one hand under my knees and another under my back as he swung me up and out of the water, and into the cooler air, with ease. My wet cooling body came into contact with the warmth of his hard muscular chest, I clung to him like my life depended on prolonging the connection and I buried my head into the crook of his neck. His foot hooked through the gap in the door to open it and he stepped back, allowing the door to swing fully open. Cradling me tightly to his tattooed chest, we made our way back into the bedroom.

‘You didn’t think that through, did you?’ I smiled up at him. ‘I’m soaking wet and we don’t want to be in a wet bed all night, do we?’ Slowly he lowered my feet to the floor and grinned back at me. The previous anger in him had vanished and a smiling Nathan had been left behind. He slowly backed into the bathroom leaving me standing in his view. It was sensual, as though he couldn’t at that very moment in time tear his eyes away from me. He reached behind him and brought out a towel. Stepping back towards me, he wrapped me within the towel and his arms in one solid movement. I stood there like a child, being dried. I could only watch as he tended to me, allowing my gaze to take in everything that was new about his upper body. He had gained bulk and many extra tattoos in my absence, it seemed. I allowed my fingers to lightly brush over them, but my attention was pulled abruptly to a glimmer of silver. My fingers walked their way over to the barbell in his left nipple.

‘This is new,’ I stated out loud.

‘Yep… I have had some work done… some is visible… other work isn’t. Right you’re dry, here’s my T-shirt, get it on and jump into bed.’ The voice he used now was no longer full of lust, it appeared that moment had left us. Willingly I lowered his T-shirt down over my nakedness and clambered into the side of the bed furthest away from the door.

‘We’re going to make a goddamn pact, Bella. Each night when you fall asleep in my arms, and that’s the only place you will fall asleep, we are going to share one secret about ourselves, until you learn to trust me with whatever that fucking thing is that you are so afraid to say out loud.… The one thing I have learnt in the six long months we have been apart is that shame is a prison, if that’s what you let it become.…’

The last thing I felt, as I drifted off, was him pulling me into a spooning position, his leg wrapped over the top of mine and his head rested above mine. I felt warm and safe.

BELLA

T
he new day was bright against my closed eyelids. I realised the heat that I had felt radiating from Nathan all night long had left me, replaced by a mere warmth, he had obviously already got up and vacated the bed. I listened without moving, just trying to ascertain if he was still in the room, stupid really as I knew he wouldn’t be far away. My ears focussed on the sound of running water coming from behind the closed bathroom door. I stretched out as I rolled over onto my back. Every muscle from my arse downward ached and I winced the harder I stretched.

As I listened, I imagined the water cascading all over Nathan’s naked body. Familiar feelings of a different sort of ache crept into my core now. We had whenever possible shared showers in the morning, but that was before I had walked away and left him. I didn’t think it was something he would be particularly happy with at the moment. My thoughts went back to last night. I hated women like me, I knew he was seeing someone else and yet I had still let him touch me.

What the hell had I been thinking?

I hadn’t been thinking at all. Never had I willingly had any sexual contact with a guy who I knew was actually with someone else. Us women needed to stick together.

The shower tray had stopped creaking, but I could still hear the water running. It therefore appeared that Nathan had stopped moving. I focussed my hearing on the small space just ten feet away from where I lay. There it was, the unmistakable sound of Nathan groaning as he gave himself relief in the shower. My face flushed and every nerve went immediately on a heightened alert. It was a sound I hadn’t heard for months. My core clenched involuntarily and I let out a deep sigh just as the bathroom door opened wide. Steam exited the small room first, followed by every woman’s wet dream. It was like a picture from a glossy magazine, the ones they pay thousands of pounds to stage. He came back into the bedroom only wearing fitted black boxers, with beads of water still glistening on his chest as he rubbed his hair dry with a small hand towel. I raised myself up onto my elbows just so I could take in the magnificent view in front of me.

‘Mornin, darlin…sleep well?’ he enquired, making his way over to his rucksack to find some more clothes.

Please be getting dressed.

It was almost as though he could feel my gaze boring into his back, as he spun around and smiled down at me. Or maybe it was because I hadn’t actually answered him, I was too busy reliving the noise I had just heard and realising I would do anything to hear that beautiful sound again, with him buried deep inside me. So much for “not doing unto others” and all that. I obviously wasn’t quite the strong feminist I had always thought I was.

‘Get used to hearing that in the morning… I know that’s why you haven’t managed to damn well string a coherent sentence together.’ I watched his face break out into his normal cocky grin as he stared at me. ‘There is no way I can goddamn hug you all night long, feel your tits brushing against my forearm with every inhale of breath you take, without needing to jerk off every morning.’ He bestowed a wink on me and turned back to his rucksack. ‘OK… I’m gonna need that T-shirt back. We need to get a move on… breakfast and then back on the road.’