In My Dreams (First Tracks Book 2) (8 page)

Of course, that brought up all kinds of pictures. Wow, my
mind went down that road real quick.

“Oh, really? I jumped in the shower with you once, and as I
recall, you fell out backwards.” He laughed softly. “But that was nothing
compared to what it did to me. God, I wish you were here. I wish we could be
together.”

I sighed, then teased, “And may I remind you that you told
me to come back to school.”

“Don’t make me regret it. Cause I’ll have to…” He got lost
in his own thoughts for a while. I waited, confused. Then he said, “When I’m up
to speed, even halfway up to speed, I’m going to show you all the things I’ve
been thinking about.”

I sucked in my breath as heat sprang to life lower in my
body. Luckily he remained quiet. I wasn’t sure I could handle it if he started actually
sharing those plans…  

Now it really felt strange to bring up Kyle. After a quiet
minute, I finally came up with something else. “So did you and your parents
talk about me? About what happened before?”

A pause.

“Yeah… a little bit.”

“I’m wondering how your parents will feel when I come back
up there.” Actually, I wanted to know if they’d tried to do anything to prevent
that, or if they would. I didn’t want to paint them as villains to their own
son, so I was treading lightly.

“Ahh, they’re still weirded out. They just need time, babe.
They’ll come around.”

Was he holding back? What if we were both sitting on things
and not sharing?

“Hmm, hmm,” I said instead of words. Would they? And what
would happen if they were trying to keep me away from him?

Kristina

Was that Avery?

I did a double take on my way to my first class, and I still
didn’t believe it. But it was her, speed walking across campus with her head
down. I wanted so badly to call out and stop her, but the last time we saw each
other I slammed the door and walked out without a word.

I’d blamed her for my problems with Kyle, and I know full
well she didn’t try to steal him. It’s been Kyle all along. He tried to kiss
her on the coast trip, and he hasn’t treated her well outside of that. I just
wonder why it took me so long to see the truth.

Did Jazz and Dawn know Avery was back? They had to, right?
They lived in the same house as her.

I reached my class early and joined the others waiting to go
into the class. Tears pooled in my eyes and I felt my mouth trembling, so I
turned around to stare at the wall.

“Hey Kris,” Dawn said next to me before I noticed her there.
“Uh, what’s wrong?”

I shook my head and wiped at my eyes.

“Hey, listen, Avery came home.”

“I know,” I said quietly. “I saw her just a few minutes ago.”

Dawn started to say something and cut herself off. She
probably just figured out that seeing Avery is what had me upset. I gave in and
asked her, “Did she say anything to you?”

“I haven’t actually seen her. Jazz told me she came back. I
haven’t been at the house much.”

We went inside and sat down in our normal seats. I spent
class mindlessly doodling in my notebook, once in a while catching a line of
the lecture, and thinking about what to do.

A paper slid onto my desk. I glanced at Dawn before reading
the words:
We should talk to Jazz and Avery
.

I wrote,
I know, I’ll think about it,
and slid the
paper back. It’d been a while since I passed notes in class.

Dawn was right. I couldn’t keep hiding like this—I needed to
go home. I’d been staying with different friends and avoiding reality. I didn’t
want anything to do with Kyle anymore, but I wanted to know what happened
between him and Avery. Did it start on the coast trip? Had he been in love with
her all that time, ever since they broke up? Was he always an asshole and I
somehow overlooked it?

Was I the asshole? Did I steal him away from Avery and then
end our friendship when he tried to kiss her?

I might have told Avery as much, back when we had that party
at the house. She asked me point blank, I think, and I told her I stole Kyle.
Sometimes I wonder if I made that night up, or at least that part of the night,
because we didn’t act any differently after that. We just went on like things
were normal. Wow, I really have been a shitty friend.

I held my phone under the desk and texted Avery. When I hit
send, I felt like something big would happen. Even held my breath. Nothing did,
of course, and I sat staring at the screen.

Everyone got up at once, startling me. I shoved my phone and
notebook into my bag and started after Dawn.

“Talk later?” she asked, hurt in her eyes.

But why hurt? Had I been ignoring her too? She’s always been
bad about hiding emotions. Some people think she’s shallow, but in my opinion
it doesn’t hurt to have one completely honest person in your life.

“Yeah… and Dawn, I’ll talk to them,” I said. That brought a
weak smile so I added, “We’ll fix this, okay?”

She had another class, so we split up in the hallway, and I
headed across to the cafeteria. I’d gotten good at avoiding people over the
last few weeks, which involved keeping an eye out for any of my friends. Or,
old friends. This time, when I was actually looking for them and wanting to
talk, I didn’t see Jazz or Avery.

I still hadn’t talked to Jazz about my room at the house or
what we were going to do. Avery might have officially kicked me out by now for
all I knew. But it seems like Jazz would have told me, probably in some kind of
official memo. Jazz had been the planner in our group. She’s always managed the
house and rent, and I knew she had to be stressed out about it. I had no idea
what to say so I finally texted her and asked,
Ave is back?

Yeah, I knew that already but I just didn’t know how to
start all this. Her answer came a minute later:
We should talk.

Another text:
Yeah, she’s back and going to class. That
snowboarder guy is awake and remembers her.

I sent a set of question marks in response. She came back
with,
yeah, like I said we need to talk.

What was going on? What snowboarder guy?

I had to face Jazz anyway, so I asked her to meet me at the
cafeteria. While I waited, I went through the line and got us both a sandwich
and juice, then sat at a table. She slipped silently into the seat beside me five
minutes later.

I slid the tray her way but she wrinkled her nose.

“You know I won’t eat that crap.”

Oh yeah, white bread. Juice with sugar. I sighed and bit
into my sandwich, mostly to avoid talking.

“Where are you staying?” she asked right away. Jazz is
always direct, but she’s very caring. She looked troubled now, the soft skin
under her eyes dark from lack of sleep. Her long straight hair was pulled up
into a knot, which is her get-down-to-business style.

“With Dawn’s friend Caitlyn.”

“Caitlyn Jenkins? Oh my god. You’re that desperate to stay
out of the house?”

I rolled my eyes. “Caitlyn isn’t that bad, if you don’t mind
her constant complaining or snoring or how she leaves peach pits all over the
house.” I had to stop a laugh. Caitlyn was bad. She’s annoying as hell, but
slightly better than being homeless.

“So you want to stay there?” She touched my hand, the hope
in her eyes and her touch asking more than her words.

“Would Avery let me come back?”

Jazz looked ready to answer but didn’t. It was the tiniest
pause, but with big implications.

“I think so,” she finally said, her gaze on the table.  “I
don’t think she’s even mad.”

I sank back in my chair.

“We’ll talk it out,” Jazz said sincerely.

I washed the sandwich down with the apple juice and waved
the empty bottle at her. “So who’s the snowboarder guy you mentioned?  Avery
met someone else?”

She threw back her head in exasperation. “How have you
missed so much?”

I expected her jump into a detailed Jazz-style explanation
but she just looked out toward the giant windows and people walking by. Jazz
didn’t even go on our trip when everything went down, so it’s a little funny
that I’m pumping her for information. I waited a minute before saying her name.

“And what happened with Nash?” I asked. “Did he dump her
after Kyle kissed her?” I’m surprised those words didn’t stick in my throat.

Jazz studied me, trying to tell if I was as calm as I
sounded.

“Her and Nash are over,” she said firmly. Too firmly. Was
there a hint of something strange in her voice or expression? “She ran up to
Portland to see Marcus Fields, who just woke up from a coma.”

Now how did that make any sense? I shook my head at her,
waiting for more. She had that distant look again.

“Why was Avery dating Nash if she had this other guy? Why
was he in a coma?” I couldn’t help thinking that if she’d been off with that
Marcus, nothing would have happened with Kyle on our coast trip. But that’s not
what I wanted—I’m glad I finally saw the truth about him. It hurt like hell but
at least I knew what kind of person Kyle was.

Jazz didn’t answer. I followed her gaze and looked behind
me. Nash was walking down the court, passing us, with his head down to see his
phone. He’s actually kinda hot. I don’t understand why Avery didn’t stick with
him. Plus she wanted him for so long! They seemed perfect for each other, both
of them so quiet and serious.

That description fit Jazz too. I turned around to tell her
what I was thinking only to find her ducked down, hiding behind the table.

“Jazz? What the heck are you doing?”

“Just looking in my bag.” She straightened and stood up.
“I’m sorry but I have to take off. I’m late for class.”

She left so quickly I didn’t have time to even say goodbye. I
watched Jazz weave through the tables and scurry out of the building, going in
the opposite direction of Nash. What in hell’s bells…?

We didn’t discuss any of the things I thought we would, like
the house or rent or what happened with Avery. Or, if Jazz was okay. That was
completely out of character for her. Apparently I’ve missed
a lot.

Avery

I dropped my pen and rubbed my face. My vision was going
blurry and cross-eyed from staring at homework for so long. I came back to
class on a Tuesday, and the rest of the week was filled with class, talking to
teachers, homework, make up work, trying to catch up with my friends a little,
and talking to Marcus at night. We texted throughout the day, but he had
therapy and still needed to rest a lot, plus I had a boatload of work here.

I didn’t mention Kyle’s apology to Marcus yet. It seemed
better to tell him in person. And it was finally Friday. I could finally go see
him.

I started throwing a few things into my bag when I heard the
front door close. Jazz and I hadn’t seen each other for a few days now, so I
leaned out my bedroom door, hoping it was her. “Jazz?”

“Yeah. Hang on.” She went in her room to drop off her bag
and came into mine.

“Glad I caught you before leaving for the weekend.”

“Yeah, me too. I talked to Kris,” she started, falling into
my computer chair and curling up into it. I waited for more but she stared at
the pictures on my wall, looking rather spaced out for her.

“Was it bad?” I stopped packing and sat on the bed.

“Bad? No. The opposite. She wants to talk this out, and
maybe come home.”

Jazz talked in a flat tone and it took a minute for her
words to sink in. Why wasn’t she more excited?

“Really?” I asked. “That’s great. Isn’t it? You seem…”

Her gaze shifted to the bag next to me. “You’re heading up
to Portland?”

“Yeah, for the weekend…if you’re okay.”

She straightened, giving me a funny look with her dark
eyes—and it gave me the distinct feeling something
was
up with her. “Why
wouldn’t I be okay?”

I shrugged. “You seem preoccupied. You know you can talk to
me, right? I’ve spilled everything to you.”

For a split second, she zeroed in on me like she would open
up, but the look passed.

“I just have a lot going on, sorry.” She shrugged. “I guess
we can talk to Kristina when you get back. Maybe Monday after school?”

That was skirting whatever it was, but it was apparent I
wouldn’t get it out of her right now.

“Yeah, sounds good.” We needed to talk to Kris. It might be
awkward and hard, but I didn’t want to lose my friend.

Jazz stood and stretched before stepping over to hug me.
“Have fun with Marcus.”

“You too, have a fun weekend. We’ll talk when I get back?” I
tacked that on, hoping she was okay. She nodded as she left.

So what could be going on with her? I hadn’t been that great
of a friend lately with all of my drama going on. Then I remembered… I had
planned on telling her about the dreams. I walked out of my room to talk to her
again when I heard the front door shut. She’d left. Well, I guess I would talk
to her either Sunday night or Monday when we talked to Kristina.

I needed to tell her about Kyle stopping me too. It was
really strange that I hadn’t told her yet, but we hadn’t been home at the same
time, and I felt like I should tell Marcus first. It was starting to feel like
a funny web I’d gotten stuck in. And I really wanted to go see Marcus, so I really
just needed to catch up with Jazz when I got back.

I headed out to the car, trying to keep moving and not let
my nerves get the better of me. Wasn’t that weird? I was nervous about seeing
Marcus again, which didn’t make sense after how close we’d gotten before.

Before. That was the key word there. Were we still as close?
Or had Tom been convincing Marcus that I wasn’t good for him?

I jumped in, started the ignited and started off. Halfway
down the street, I pulled in a deep breath, glad to have a drive ahead of me
even if I wanted to see him
right now
.

Why did fate have to bring us together and then have us be
five hours apart? Why couldn’t his body have been in a Medford hospital? The
thought made me laugh. This was so crazy.

The sky faded to light blue and then darkened as I headed north
up 1-5, wrestling with my doubts. Clouds were coming in, making a pretty pink
and yellow sunset, but soon after it started to rain. I tried not to take that
as a bad sign. Sometimes I can be a bit on the superstitious side.

About halfway through the trip, I pulled into the rest stop by
Cottage Grove to find five texts from Marcus.

Why aren’t you here yet? ;)

Okay, don’t slap me for that one when you arrive.

Seriously, you need to come entertain me. Sneak in some
real food.

Forget the food. Bring that hot bod of yours.

I want to dream with you again baby.

I laughed and then sighed before texting back:
Halfway
there! Too bad we can’t teleport, right? Doesn’t seem so odd considering… I
can’t wait to see you.

It was dark by the time I drove through Portland and to the
hospital. It took ten minutes to find a parking space in the garage, and after
I turned the car off, I still sat there for a few minutes. I wanted to see
Marcus so bad, and yet I was getting jittery and shaky.

I grabbed my bag and turned on the doom light to brush my
hair and refresh my lipstick and powder. At least this time I could look put
together when I saw his family.

Finally, I forced myself out of the car. Once I made it
inside the hospital, it hit me that walking through the halls made me nervous.
I’d come here trying to save Marcus before, and then walked these halls while
wondering what his parents were planning to do, and now I’m back wondering how
things were between us. I almost thought I’d hear Marcus talking to me, calming
me down.

It’ll be okay, Tiger Lily
. That’s what he’d say.

I watched the numbers on the doors even though I knew the
way. When I reached his room, I didn’t hear voices so I slowly walked in.

Marcus was standing up! Jen had him on one side and a nurse
stood on the other to help him. I froze, hope swelling in my chest. He’d been
so frustrated before; I knew even if he didn’t let on or tell me about it.

He grinned, his handsome face glowing. The bruises were
hardly visible at all now. He wore a normal gray T-shirt with sweats, and his
hair was styled and looked kinda messy, kinda sexy.  

“Hey, babe. Check this out.”

“I see!”

“Do you want to sit down?” Jen asked.

“No.” He motioned for me to come over, then told the nurse,
“I’m good. I want to stand on my own.”

“You sure?” She leaned her head over to look around Marcus
at Jen. They were both mothering him.

“Yeah, I got this,” he insisted. “No worries.”

The nurse stepped back but waited to make sure he was stable
before giving him more space.

“Jen?” Marcus asked. He didn’t have to finish the question.
She took a step back, and then Marcus reached for me. I stepped close and
wrapped my arms around his neck, careful not to learn on him. Actually, he
leaned on me, burying his face in my neck and pulling me tight against him with
his arms around me.

The nurse talked to Jen before leaving, but I closed my eyes
and ignored them. This was the first time we’d embraced like this, both of us
standing, our bodies touching all the way down. His heart beat against me, and
I bet he could feel mine. My breathing came fast and irregular. I’d missed him
so much. Now that I held him, my entire body came alive, an electric buzz
running down to my feet. For the first time all week, I didn’t miss our old
connection when I could tell what he was thinking and feeling.

“You’ve been working hard this week,” I whispered.

“Getting there.” He lifted his face to kiss my neck, sending
a shiver down me. We still had to get used to being able to touch each other.
It gave me a huge adrenaline rush, like the first time we hit a jump together
in my mind.

“I wanted to surprise you with my standing up and all.” He
grinned against my face. “Funny that it’s so impressive, right?”

“Not funny, Marcus, really good.” I pressed my cheek against
him and felt the stubble on his jaw.

“You feel so good, babe.”

I opened my eyes at his words, trying to see if Jen was
right there.

“She left,” he said with a chuckle. “But she looked a little
worried.”

“Do you need to sit down?”

“No, I need to hold you.” His good arm held me tightly. It
sent energy through me like a live wire, and urgent need stirred and sparked.
Luckily he couldn’t read my thoughts, but the way I pressed into him might have
clued him in.

I closed my eyes again, roaming his back with my hands. He
made a happy murmur against my neck as my hands slid over his muscles.

“Are you sore?”

“Yeah,” he said, but with a light laugh. “From the accident
still and from laying in that bed for so long. And probably the therapy. I
don’t mind being sore, but your hands feel really nice.”

I kept touching him but soon noticed he was trembling. I
didn’t want to embarrass him, so I eased back and helped him to the bed without
saying anything. While he settled in, I checked out the pictures on the wall. He
had a poster of photos and all his drawings up. I’d seen a ton of shots online
of him in action, but the photos felt more personal. He was snowboarding or
hanging out with snowboarding friends in all of them.

“I’m getting back to that,” he said.

I leaned against a counter. After driving all the way up
here, I really didn’t feel like sitting down. I’d gotten restless in the car,
and it made me think of Marcus wanting to get up and be active.

“I know you will,” I said with a smile.

He turned his head to gaze at me, and after a minute I felt
like he was studying me through artist’s eyes, like he needed to see every
detail to draw them. Of course, he had drawn me quite a bit already. I finally
had to laugh and say, “You should know what I look like by now.”

“But I need to count every freckle.”

I hid my face for a second.

“Ave, I love your freckles! And your little nose, and your
eyes, and especially that dreamy look you get when you’re looking back at me.”

I peeked at him through my fingers.

“And you know it, too,” he added with a glint in his eyes.
“You got to hear all my lewd thoughts about you.”

That was certainly true…and fun. I had to admit I liked
knowing this funny, attractive man wanted me so badly.

“So… Are they going to let you have some down time this
weekend?” I asked, and the implied question was, would we get any time
together? Maybe alone?

Marcus gave me a wicked grin in response and stretched his
hand out so I’d come over. “I’ll make them. Jen stayed here today to give my
parents some time off. They’re all going to let me have tomorrow to spend with
just you.”

“Just me. I like the sound of that.” My heart took flight for
all of two seconds before crashing down again. All the doubts I’d been stuffing
away burst out into the light, almost suffocating me. I let my gaze drop down
to our entwined fingers and asked, “How is this going to work?”

Wow, how did all that come out so suddenly?

He was quiet for so long that I had to look up, worried that
I’d see doubt in his face. Maybe I shouldn’t have shared that. What if my doubt
made him doubt all of this?

“Do you mean, how will
we
work?” he asked. It was out
there, and I couldn’t take it back. I knew the best course was to be honest and
tell him everything.

“I have college in Ashland, and you’re up here, and you’ll
go somewhere for therapy—what if you go back to Colorado with your family for
that? Then you’re going back to snowboarding. You’ll go somewhere else to train.
When you’re up to speed soon, you’ll be traveling even more.” My fears and
doubts were like a tsunami. They’d been lurking underneath the surface,
building strength until everything spilled over. Sharing gave me a tiny measure
of relief, but now I feared what he’d say. Suddenly I knew I shared so he’d
reassure me, but what if he couldn’t?

“Ave…”

I didn’t let him finish.

“And you don’t need me anymore,” I said, feeling like it was
too much, making me too vulnerable, but he had seen and known everything about
me before. It felt wrong to have anything between us now.

“I wish you could still feel my heart, babe. Then you’d know
how much I love and need and want you.”

At his words, tears instantly pooled in my eyes.

“Ave?” he tugged my hand and I leaned over onto his chest.
“You’re worried we can’t make it?”

“You’re famous. You’re a gold medalist for Christ’s sake.
I’m just some girl still figuring things out. I don’t have any family around. I
don’t know what I’m doing with my life yet. And you have it figured out, and
you have a future—”

“Ave! Babe, stop it.” He pulled my face up by my chin. I
felt my tears running down to my chin and joining together. I wanted to wipe at
my nose but he held me frozen with his piercing eyes. “Avery, we’ll make it no
matter what. Okay? You don’t have to have your life figured out.” He smiled and
shook his head. “I fell in love with you just the way you are.”

I closed my eyes, just taking in his words.

“Why are you doubting anyway?”

I tried to shake my head but his hands were holding me. “I
don’t know. I guess because we’ve been apart and life seems really hard right
now. And I don’t know what you’re thinking anymore, like you said.” Suddenly I
laughed. “I wanted you out of my head so badly at first, and here I am crying
about losing you!”

He laughed too and kissed my mouth. I pulled back. “I’m a
mess. Wow, look at me.”

“I am, babe.”

That stopped me for a second. He did see all of my. And he
liked it.

I got up and went to the bathroom to splash water on my
face. Marcus didn’t need me crying all over him. He had a hard road too, and
his dreams were on the line. What if he couldn’t make a full recovery and go
back to snowboarding? I would always love him no matter what, but I knew that’d
be hard on him. So I pulled myself together and even smiled at myself in the
mirror.