In My Dreams (First Tracks Book 2) (12 page)

Marcus

I listened to Jen roll over and fluff her pillow again. Then
again. Then she flopped back the other way.

“Hey, sis, why don’t you go to the hotel to sleep?” I asked
into the darkness.

The rustling got quiet.

“I’m fine.”

“Ha! No you’re not. I can hear you rolling around trying to
get comfortable.”

That hospital cot couldn’t be very soft. It looked even
worse than the bed I slept in, and that was saying a lot.

“You can’t be that comfortable either.” She wiggled around
some more, I think turning over to face my direction.

“Yeah, but you don’t have to be stuck here and not
sleeping.”

“Why not?” she asked. “I don’t mind. It’s really not any
better being in a room with mom and dad. You know dad snores like a chainsaw on
crack. Ca-ca-ca-ca.” She made a horrible, nasally dying sound that sent us both
into snorting laughter.

It was true. He could wake a vampire during the daylight
hours.

When I calmed down, I asked, “Why not get your own room?”

“Marcus, I’m fine. It’s not the bed. My mind won’t slow
down.”

I chewed on that for a couple of minutes. “Yeah, my mind
does that too.”

“Seems like you’d do it even more.”

“Uh?” I rolled onto my side, folding my good arm under my
head. A few lights in the room blinked and I could almost make her out. I
sensed her more than saw her though. Sometimes it’s nice to sit in the dark and
talk to someone. “Cause I’m in this bed and having trouble?”

I’d been working my ass off in therapy, putting in the same
energy and dedication I put into snowboarding. It was paying off. Slowly paying
off. It wasn’t the instant gratification of creating and landing a new trick
but I was getting there. Jen didn’t comment for a while.

“Because you were in Avery’s head for a long time. You said
all you had were your thoughts, right?”

“Yeah, kinda.” I sighed, moving again so I could try to
scratch inside the cast. Damn this stupid thing. It was supposed to come off
soon. I was getting more and more control back too. I even drew a picture of
Avery today. I just didn’t get to talk to her.

I wondered what was going on with her and school and her
friends. And Kyle—had he talked to her again? Had he really changed his ways
and left her alone? Or was he chasing her again? Chasing her still?

“Marc?”

“Yeah?” I sounded distracted and instantly knew she could
tell that too.

“I can practically hear your mental gears churning over
there.”

“Just thinking about Avery… You don’t think Dad is right, do
you?” Until I said those words, I had no idea that they’d gained any weight in
my mind.

“What the hell, Marcus.” She either sat or leaned up. “Did
you lose your balls in the accident?”

I was too shocked to laugh. Good joke though.

“Dude, seriously, Dad’s been freaked out and talking out his
ass. You know better than to listen to that.” She scoffed and flopped back on
her bed.

We were quiet for a while after that. I kept running things
around, trying to go back and feel like I did when Avery and I were so close.

“Some days, like today, I feel far away from her.”

“That happens in relationships. You’ll get to see her soon
and you’ll feel as close as ever.”

Peace settled over me like a cool blanket on my chest.

“You always know what to say and how to make me feel better,
sis.”

“We’re always there for each other, right?”

“Right. And you should get back to your life and stop
hanging around here.”

She sighed. “I might. Eventually.”

Suddenly I wondered if this was better than dealing with
something else. Sure, I understood why she’d stayed here while I was in a coma,
but now? What was she avoiding?

“When you’re reading to talk…”

“I know. But for now I just want to live in the moment and
not think about the future. Well, not my future. I’m happy about your
recovery.”

I wished she was closer so I could grab her hand or even hug
her. Sleepiness finally came and I closed my eyes. I thought about telling Jen
goodnight but I slipped off into sleep too suddenly.

Avery

Was I dreaming? It did and didn’t feel like it as I looked
at Tom and Elaina sitting together, his arm around her shoulders and his head
resting against her. They were sitting in front of a window and I walked around
to the side to see their faces. Elaina wiped a tear from under her eye before
patting Tom’s hand on her shoulder.

Soft light came in from somewhere, maybe the window, but it
was hard to tell. I couldn’t even tell what kind of room they were in –the
hospital or a hotel? The chairs were padded like the kind you see in hotels.

“Hello?”

They didn’t react, and I started to think I
was
dreaming, but why was I dreaming about them? This wasn’t anything like the
other dreams, so maybe it was the normal, everyday kind of dream. I stepped
closer, feeling like it was really them…

Another chair sat close by, so I pulled it over and sat down
with them. She closed her eyes and leaned against him too. I hadn’t seen them
like this, so open and vulnerable.

“Listen, I’d never do anything to hurt Marcus… I don’t know
why you’re so worried, but I’m on his side.” I watched for a reaction and
didn’t see anything but I kept talking anyway, telling them the real story of
how Marcus and I met, how we didn’t get along, and how we changed each other.
They didn’t look at me or talk, but they didn’t get up and leave either, so I
just kept going.

I’m not sure how long I talked; it felt like hours. I woke
up some time later in a quiet, dark house. I wasn’t in bed. It took a couple of
minutes to orientate myself.

I had sat on the couch watching the candle until I fell
asleep. Kris had gone back to her friend’s for one last night, and to get her
stuff so she could come home. Guess Jazz went to bed too. It’ll be nice when
Kris is here again, and then Dawn might come around more. We can start hanging
out again. Man, I missed them.

The closest clock was in the kitchen so I quietly made my
way there. Eleven forty. I had planned to call Marcus. I lingered in the kitchen,
just standing there in my indecision.

Then I remembered I’m strong and decisive, and decided I
would wait and talk to him tomorrow. The decision made me sad and yet I stuck
with it. I grabbed a protein bar for a lazy dinner and got ready for bed.

Once I was lying there, ready to go back to sleep, my mind
woke up all the way. Great.

“Marcus, I have so much to tell you,” I whispered. Just
thinking about him made me ache, and my focus switched to us and our
relationship. A few more days, and we could see each other. That helped and
hurt at the same time. How on earth could I need him so much? It made me
wonder. If this was love, why did people do it? Wouldn’t it be easier to not
need anyone?

But I couldn’t help this if I tried, and I don’t want to. I want
him. Need him. Love him. I still felt like he was a part of me even though he
wasn’t here, whispering in my brain.

But somehow I would need to figure out how to live my life,
and be me, and find myself and my goals and dreams… I sighed and rolled over,
my brain on a crazy spin roll thinking of Marcus, Jazz, Nash… and my dad for
some reason. I used to think of my mom all the time and miss her like crazy.
I’ve been too angry at my dad to think straight about him.

But the strangest thing is connecting in my brain. If Nash
could suddenly understand my situation and forgive me, maybe I could try it? Maybe
I could forgive my dad and let go of the anger?

That was a scary thought.

There was no way I could fall asleep with so many tracks
running in my head, but oddly I felt myself falling and swirling in that lovely
decent.

I woke up on the board—flying downhill
fast
.

I gasped and heard Marcus laugh, long and loud and happy. It
took a few seconds to orientate myself, but it was a few good seconds as I saw
the pristine powder under us, the snowscape ahead as it flattened out, and then
the gray steel sky up ahead.

Why are we running away?

What are you talking about, babe?

I don’t know…

I just got this feeling we’re running away from something.
Not a real danger behind us here, but something else. I couldn’t put my finger
on it.

Don’t we come here to escape life for a few?

We were doing riddles tonight. I pulled in a breath of
crisp, cold air and let the charged molecules energize me. I wanted to feel
new. I wanted to relax and enjoy this. But there was something…

Oh! I have to tell you about Nash.

Yeah?

Marcus was totally into the curves. We were taking a slow
casual decent.

Nash isn’t mad at me anymore. He knows. He believes now.

Really? I’m surprised. He’s so serious and analytical.

Jazz talked to him and something happened.

It all came to mind and Marcus followed, seeing what I saw
and remembering it with me.

Stranger things have happened…

Like us?

We slowed to a near stop and both of us plopped into a snowdrift
on our backs. Marcus rolled to face me and reached out to grab me and pull me
closer.

His hair was longer right now, the way I imagined it before
when he was in my head, and both his arms were fine. He gazed into my eyes with
a tenderness that left me speechless. Defenseless.

“I want you so bad,” he whispered, his gaze dropping to my
mouth.

“I want you too.” I lifted my head, trying to reach him.

“I want you in real life, the real me, when I’m healthy.”

“You
are
healthy.” I took his face in my hands.
“You’re perfect.” Then I pulled him close.

Before he kissed me, he said against my lips, “This weekend,
Ave. I’m having you this weekend. I’m going to make love to you for hours.”

When his lips finally did touch mine, I thought,
this
will do just fine for now.

Nash

Hindsight is twenty-twenty
. God, I hate that
expression. It’s like people want to be lazy and not think things through, and
then later they can just blame it on inexperience. And that’s exactly what I
did wrong with Avery: I didn’t really peruse her and then, later on, I realized
that’s what she either wanted or needed. I was too polite and didn’t fight for
her. But that might not have mattered, since it seems that fate intervened.

Fate.
I pulled my sleeve up and glanced at the ink
stain on my arm again. Jasmine was close by and I would find her.

But my whole point with this is that I’m not making the same
mistake again. I learned my lesson. I’m not going to pretty-please my way
around with Jazz.

I spotted her up ahead, and picked up my pace, dodging
around a few people to reach her.

“You can’t avoid me forever,” I said as I walked up behind
her. God, this woman was beautiful and mysterious and seriously sexy.

 She looked up at me with those dark eyes but didn’t appear
surprised to see me. Actually, she probably felt me coming. I’d been feeling
her for the last few days, ever since we talked.

We matched each other’s pace and walked in silence, turning
to leave the crowded walkway. She held a couple of her books against her chest
even though she had her backpack on.

“It takes me a while to get used to things,” she finally
said.

“I did notice that.”

“And to just accept things if it seems like I don’t have a
choice.”

I turned to her. “Of course you have a choice.”

“Do I?”

I gave her a look—it wasn’t one I’d usually give someone I
didn’t know well, but I knew she could read it. She would understand and know I
was checking her logic on that one. Sure, any logic we applied here would be
different…but apparently
we
were different.

I thought of the vine on my arm but jerked my thoughts away
from it—what if she picked up on that? It’d really freak her out, if she
thought fate was running the show.

I glanced over her head at the windows behind us. Damn, we
did go together. I was tall, dark and handsome. She was small and sexy and
complicated. She turned and saw our reflections too. Something about our
expressions—our eyes—completely matched. I even liked our skin tones together,
my olive skin and her warm Japanese complexion.

I touched her arm and guided her to a bench. Here we were
again. She sat down at the same time as I did, and we were sitting close enough
that she could lean into me.

And she heard that. She looked up and gave me a small smile.

“I said I needed some time to think it over…”

“Even though this seems to be more about emotion,” I threw
in.

“And we don’t actually know each other.”

“Which we could change.” I lifted my eyebrows at her. Her
face broke into a smile, a beautiful, quick flash of a smile.

“And we don’t know what we’re doing or what this is.”

“And we can explore it and find out.”

One side of her mouth tilted up, teasing and inviting. I
didn’t hesitate. I learned down as she turned her face my way, and I kissed
her. I meant to graze her lips quickly with mine, but instead I lingered and
then teased her lips with my tongue. Her mouth felt so warm, so soft, so
sensual. I wanted to spend hours in this first kiss, getting her to know her
mouth.

She gasped and pulled back.

“Didn’t you want that?” I asked. I know she did.

She shook her head, her gaze on my chest to avoid my eyes.
“Yes, I did. But… Nash, we can’t go down this road.”

“Why not? I’d say we already are.”

She shook her head, looking away from me. “It completely
messed things up for Avery.”

“Wait.” I took her chin so she’d meet my eyes. “What are you
saying?
I
messed things up for Avery?”

“Oh, no, I mean the thing with Marcus did. She’s way behind
in school and her life is a mess, and I don’t know if I want to willingly go
through something like that. Something like
this
. I’ve already let a guy
mess my life up. I don’t want to do it twice.” Jasmine glanced up, looking at
me with regret in her eyes. “I won’t.”

I felt red hot, consuming rage at whoever hurt her. It
shocked me.

I didn’t want to lose this chance. I didn’t want to lose her
before we even tried.

“Jazz, look at this.” I pulled my sleeve up and showed her
the vine.

She glanced between the design and my face several times,
confused at first, then curious. “Nice, did you draw it?”

“No. I don’t know how it got there.”

Her eyes narrowed, her lips forming a question. Then she
shook her head again and started to get up. I touched her arm—softly—but she
hesitated.

“It showed up while we were talking the last time.”

“How?”

“This magic we’re sharing, I guess. It put it there because
of you.”

She straightened and stared at me. “You just said we did
have a choice in this, but then you’re showing me that?” Jazz took a step back
and turned to face away.

Did we have a choice? It didn’t matter to me.
I wanted
her.

She looked at me so sharply I could tell she heard that.

“No.” She said the word softly, and somehow that made it
echo even louder in my mind. She walked backwards for several steps before
turning around and taking off.

So it’s not going to be easy.

I watched how far Jazz made it before glancing back at me. It
was that glance that told me not to give up.

It won’t be easy but she’s worth it.