In My Dreams (First Tracks Book 2) (3 page)

Avery

Well, I lucked out. Tom and Elaina walked the other way and
went around a corner instead of talking to us. Jen and I had exchanged a
questioning look. I wasn’t sure, but it almost looked like they were arguing.

She headed off to the bathroom, and I went to the family
waiting area and made a cup of coffee, then found a quiet corner and pulled my
phone out.

Huh, the coffee was pretty good.

Earlier I’d saved some tabs but didn’t get time to watch the
videos. Now I clicked on Marcus’s Gold Medal snowboard run and sat back,
feeling anxious, excited and nervous like I was watching it live.

The video started with him at the top of the run, getting
ready but not appearing nervous at all. He was actually chewing gum and smiling
like he was just having fun snowboarding with friends. Why did that surprise
me? I can so imagine him saying, “Dude, why worry? It’ll be epic or it won’t,
but it’s awesome being here!”

He looked down the slope, hutched just a little and launched
forward. He flew down the run and up onto the first obstacle. It was way beyond
what we had done in my head, especially when he hit a big jump and soared into
the air, the blue sky behind him as he twirled, one hand grabbing the board.

Oh, my god, he was graceful and agile. It was beautiful!
Noice
,
as Marcus would say. I couldn’t imagine how it must feel to have that ability
and then be stuck in a hospital bed now.

He was flawless all the way down the course, hitting every
jump with a new trick. How could he even go that high and stay in control on
the landing? It was freaking amazing. Like, gold medal amazing.

He slid into the bottom with his hands in the air and a huge
smile on his face, still chewing his gum. My heart swelled with pride and love
for that amazing man. He stood waiting in front of a purple backdrop as the
crowd went wild, waving American flags and cheering. The commentators talked
while the camera panned out, and everyone waited for his score to come up.

The numbers flashed.

Marcus broke into an even wider grin and pumped a fist in
the air. Two other snowboarders jumped on him, slapping his back and grinning
with him. I’d noticed that in some of the videos I watched: even though they
were competing, they were cheering for each other and having fun. It crossed
nationalities even. All the snowboarders that I saw were cheering for each
other and hanging out together.

I couldn’t stop myself. I smiled back at him. He was relaxed
and happy, and just a little bit cocky, but so endearing. And that smile!

“Avery?”

Jen’s voice made me jerk.

“Oh, hey, I was just watching Marcus win the gold.
Re-watching,” I added, feeling like I got caught doing something bad. I haven’t
watched it before, but I should have, at least according to the story we’re
using.

“The doctor said we could go back in.”

I jumped up and hurried to follow her back. Their parents
were huddled and whispering in the hallway about twenty feet from the door but straightened
as we approached.

Tom’s sliding glance made me think he wasn’t too pleased to
see Jen and me walking together. Was there any chance in hell he’d warm up to
me?

Jen peeked into the room and turned back to us. “He’s
sleeping.”

Panic shot through me. It must have shot right onto my face
because she grabbed my upper arm.

“He’s just sleeping. He’ll be in and out a lot right now.”

I nodded, knowing my voice wouldn’t work right. I glanced at
his parents, wondering what we were going to do now. So we stood there for a
full silent awkward moment before Elaina touched Tom’s arm and he cleared his
throat.

“We should thank you, Avery,” he said. “For…being there for
Marcus.” His voice sounded heavy with emotion but his face and body were stiff,
so I couldn’t honestly tell if he was sincerely thanking me or his wife put him
up to it. If only I could hear what Marcus thought.

Could I just be reading him wrong?

“Well… of course.” I wanted to add that I loved him, but
that was something I couldn’t say to them. Not now, or like this.

After another painful pause, Tom said, “He’ll be here a
while longer, then rehab.”

I nodded; that was expected. But why was Tom pointing that
out? Because they planned to take him back home to Colorado? That made
sense…and scared me. 

I searched for a way to respond when I heard a noise from
inside the room. Jen glanced  back in. She seemed to be in charge, like a body
guard for Marcus. I wonder how she ended up in that role.

“He’s awake and motioning…” She turned back into the room,
then added to us, “Yes, everyone.”

I followed his family in, hoping that “everyone” meant me
too.

Marcus was pretty groggy, but that gave me a chance to study
him. His lashes were so long with his eyes closed. When he’d been in my mind,
his hair was longer but his family or the staff cut it at some point, probably
due to his head injury. His full lips looked so sexy and kissable. I even liked
the blond stubble on his jaw.

His eyes opened and slowly moved from person to person. He
noticed me last and flashed a smile. Everything inside me burst wide open and I
gave him a smile back. I wanted to grin my biggest grin but felt shy in case
his family members turned my way.

A rustle behind me caused me to turn, almost bumping into
someone carrying in a food tray. And just like that, the rest of the day turned
into a routine of different people checking on Marcus, meals, and rest. There
was a lot of talk with different doctors and specialists. I stayed in the
background, wanting to hear everything but feeling strange about being with his
family. They didn’t really understand how close I felt to Marcus, and how much
I cared about him. How could they? His parents wrote me off as crazy before,
and I couldn’t blame them for that. So I sat in the corner and listened.

Jen and Elaina got up to leave and both gave me an
encouraging smile on their way out. Maybe Elaina was starting to like me. The
staff had cleared out again too, leaving just Marcus, his dad, and me. It was
probably around dinner time, or later. Just now I noticed it’d gotten dark
outside. It’d been a long day.

“So, Avery, you’re an English major?” Tom asked suddenly.

I formed a word but didn’t speak. My pause was long enough
to make me feel guilty over nothing, and I caught a look of concern on both of
their faces.

“You should be in class, not here,” Tom said, making it sound
more like a crime than a personal choice.

“Ave? Is there class right now?” Marcus asked, and I could
see the gears turning even if I couldn’t hear them anymore. But why was he
siding with his dad? I ground my molars before answering, working out some
anger.

“There is,” I said lightly, trying to sound like it wasn’t a
big deal. It wasn’t. Not compared to being here for Marcus. “Well, there’s
class but it’s a new term starting.”

I hadn’t even checked my grades for winter term. Marcus
landed in my head in the last month of that term, so my grades might have taken
a sharp nosedive.

“Isn’t it important to be there for the beginning?” Tom
asked, and again it wasn’t a question. He was in full lecture mode. It’s been
years since I had a parent to give me advice, wanted or not, so I didn’t know
how to respond. I was braced for Tom to rant on, but just then I caught Marcus
giving him a small shake of his head.

A long pause fell. I was getting real tired of those. All
this awkward conversation and waiting around.

“Why aren’t you there?” Marcus finally asked me directly. I
could read the disappointment and guilt in his eyes.

“I need to be here. I mean, I want to be here.” I held still
while I wanted to shrug. I wasn’t going to apologize or make it seem like I
would be anywhere else.

Marcus had an intense look in his eyes, making them darker.

“How much class have you missed?” he asked.

I didn’t want Tom hearing this, especially when I had no
idea. Marcus saw me hesitating and gave his dad a tilt of his head and lifted
eyebrow.

“I’ll let you two talk,” Tom said, getting up. “Avery…it’s
not really my business, but don’t you think the right choice is to get back to
class as soon as possible?”

I was too shocked at his directness to answer, and he walked
out.

I didn’t owe him an answer. It’s my life. But now he had ammo
to force me to leave, which was what he really wanted.

But how could I leave? There was no way I could concentrate
on schoolwork or even sit still in class. I tried to think while opening my
mouth, but Marcus beat me to speaking.

 “Will you bring it over here?” he asked, nodding toward
something.

“Your guitar?” I asked. Really? Weren’t we going to talk
about college? I couldn’t imagine him just dropping the topic but I didn’t mind
putting it off either.

“Yeah.” He made his bed raise more. I forced my gaze to stay
away from his cast as I retrieved his guitar.

“Sit here.” He patted the bed as he scooted up, positioning
himself so I could sit between his legs. Nestling up to him sent a warm shiver
up my back. This still felt so new and different.
We’re really both here,
real, touchable.

He had to move around more so his cast wasn’t in the way,
and then his chest was mostly touching my back, sending jolts of pleasure up
and down my body. I expected to feel awkward holding the guitar, but it felt
almost natural after all the times I had played with him. Or rather, he played
using my hands.

His hand brushed my cheek and then pulled my hair back to
sweep it over the other shoulder. Then his breath caressed my neck.

My eyes closed. It was pain and pleasure and want all rolled
together—and I was freefalling in all of it. This was so immense, so consuming.
A second passed and his lips pressed into my neck.

I gasped so loud we both jumped.

Marcus chuckled by my ear, activating every nerve in my
body.

More.
I wanted more of him, more of his breath and
mouth on my skin, his lips on my lips, his hands on me.

“Remember how to strum?” he whispered.

If I could clear my head, I might remember… I nodded, a
small movement so I wouldn’t bump into him.

“Slow and steady at first. Let’s see if this works.”

I began to strum. Nothing fancy, just moving my thumb up and
down. Marcus used his left hand to tune the guitar by twisting the knobs at the
top. His hand looked unsteady and didn’t grasp the little tuners quite right,
but he worked at it until the chord sounded perfect. I patiently moved my hand,
letting the strings sing into the room. The sound soothed me, reminded me of
time we spent together already, reminded me of a world that Marcus took me
into.

He put his hand to the stem. Sitting like we were, I
couldn’t see his expression, but the way he moved his hand moved made me think
it was difficult for him. I kept strumming but the chords sounded off.

I gritted my teeth instead of flinching or turning my head.
If it took all day, I’d sit here and help him. Finally, he did it. He got his
hand to obey him and hold down the correct strings. The sound changed as I
strummed, and we played chords that didn’t add up to a song, just soft music.

I had to concentrate too but my body was acutely aware of
his so close behind me. When he breathed, his body touched mine. His heat
warmed me. I closed my eyes, hearing the chords and feeling Marcus, wishing I
could pause time for a day.

I tried to absorb the sounds of the strings and the feel of
Marcus so close to me, but he couldn’t play for long. I could tell he was
tiring, and then he dropped his hand with a sigh.

“Babe,” he said softly. His tone made my stomach tighten.

“Hmm?” I turned my face toward him. My cheek was almost
against his jawbone, his mouth so close.

“First, I’m really sorry that my parents are so skeptical.
They could at least try to hide it.”

I waited for him to say more, that maybe he agreed with
them.
Please don’t. Please don’t say you’ve lost faith in what we shared
.
Thankfully he didn’t say that.

“I know they have your best interests in mind, even before
when they were…” I didn’t finish.

“Well, I’m sorry about my dad and what he said.”

“Thanks. I know it’s them and not you. Don’t feel bad when
it’s not your fault. I mean, when I think about my dad—” Why did I say that? I
really don’t need to deal with anything else today, so I quickly added, “I
can’t talk about him right now.”

“I know.” His words were so soft and understanding that I
wanted to cry. He didn’t even add anything about saving it for later. “But, on
another important topic… You should finish the year, Ave,” Marcus said in a
kind tone. “It’s one term, right? Just three months till summer break. I don’t
want to pull you away from your life. You want to be a writer. You had plans.
Have
plans.”

“I don’t need college for that.”

After a few seconds of silence, I twisted enough to see him.

He raised his eyebrows, his light brown eyes dancing with
some secret, it seemed. “Remember your promise?”

“What?! That was before…”

Did he really expect me to keep a promise I made when I
thought he was going to die?

“You promised me you’d go after your dreams. That means
going back to school.” His stern look did weird things to me, things that made
it hard to be upset right now. I wanted to smile and smack him, and maybe even
kiss him, all at the same time.

“That was before you woke up,” I reminded him again, my
voice stronger. “That was when I thought I had to go on without you.”

“Your life is still your life, and you made a promise.” His
lips curved in the slightest smile.