IMPULSE: Companion to The PULSE Series (14 page)

"More?" She dips her head to catch my gaze. "How can you love me more?"

"I don't think I can explain it."

"You can try," she counters. "Please try."

I can sense how important this is to her. She needs to find comfort in my love for her. She tore herself open emotionally for me a few days ago. I have to show her that it was worth it. I need her to see that I cherish and love her even more now.

I reach up to tap her on the tip of her nose. "The Jessica I fell in love with has a beautiful heart."

"I like that you think that."

"I don't think it, Jessica. It's the truth," I say, my eyes focused on hers. "You never gave up on me."

"I would never give up on you." Her hand drops to my chest. "I can't, Nathan."

I pull her hand into mine. "I saw something in you that I've never seen in anyone before." The inference is any other woman. We both know it. I don't have to tell her. She understands that in my eyes, there isn't another woman walking this planet that compares to her.

"You still see that now?"

I reach forward and graze my lips over hers. "When you told me about your baby… I mean your daughter," I stammer. "When you told me about her I saw a part of you that I didn't even know was there."

"What part?" Her hands grip tightly to the front of my shirt.

"You're so fucking strong." I smile. "You're the strongest person I've ever met."

"I'm not strong." She slaps her hands across my chest. "I'm not strong at all."

"I had this client, Jessica." I tilt her head up so she's looking directly at me. "He was an older man. He died recently."

"I'm sorry," she says it without an ounce of pretense. There's compassion woven deeply into it.

I nod in response. "He had two granddaughters."

"Are they young?"

"Your age," I offer. "They're both in their twenties."

She smiles at the gentle reminder of the gap in our ages. "They're not old like you?"

I wink at her before I pull my brows together in mock anger. "No. They're not old like me."

"I'm sorry they lost their grandfather."

"He loved them both very much even though he wasn't their grandfather by birth." I want this to sound gentle and I want it to bring her comfort.

"What do you mean?" She cocks her head to the side. "They were adopted?"

"He was their foster father." I kiss her forehead lightly. "He never formally adopted them, but he took them in and cared for them when their mother died."

"They were a family," she says with understanding in her eyes.

"Two nights ago when I came home you were on my laptop." I gesture behind me with my hand. "I know you closed it when you heard me come through the door."

She doesn't show any surprise at all. "Yes. I was looking at something."

I pull in a heavy breath. "You were reading about her."

Her eyes fill with tears. "I was." She nods quickly. "I wanted to know more."

"What did you learn?" I push because I have to. I need her to share. I don't want her to carry the guilt of this around with her forever.

"Her name is Jenna." She closes her eyes tightly as tears stream down her face. "She loves horses."

"She's beautiful," I offer. I had to close my office door after reading the article that popped up on my laptop screen when I opened it after Jessica went to bed. It was a profile of the Governor's family. An entire paragraph was dedicated to Jenna Lane. She's a beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed six-year-old girl. The little girl bears an unmistakable resemblance to Jessica.

"She looks like me." A ghost of a smile trails over her mouth. "She's pretty."

"She's beautiful." I whisper into her forehead. "She's really beautiful."

She nods through the tears. "She's happy."

I thought the same thing as I read the article. The smile on her face was filled with pure joy.  When the reporter who wrote the piece asked what Jenna's favorite thing was she responded that it was her younger brother. She's part of a family who loves her deeply and unconditionally. "I felt that too."

"I just wish I could see her once." She fights to hold back the tears. "I never got to hold her or hug her or anything."

The words tear through me. I had no idea the baby was taken from her that quickly. "I'm sorry. I wish I could change that."

"She's where she belongs." Her shoulders tremble was she says the words. "She's part of their family now."

"She is," I whisper back. Jenna is part of their family and Jessica is mine.

"Will you marry me?"

I almost fall out of my chair. "What did you say?"

She pulls in a deep breath before she slams my office door behind her. "I asked if you would marry me."
I fumble for my suit jacket. I had tossed it over the back of my chair when I got into my office this morning. I had a full morning of calls and meetings related to the Wilkinson case. If all goes according to the settlement I've worked so hard to achieve, the granddaughters will begin receiving payments within the next three months. "I have to find the ring."

"You have a ring?" Jessica pulls her hand up to her chest in mock surprise.

"I've had a ring for the last six months." I push my hand into one pocket and I come up empty. "Where the fuck did I put that goddamn ring?"

"This is romantic." She taps her finger against the desk. "I can't have this be my memory of our engagement."

"You just asked me to marry you, Jessica." I'm on my feet now. "You can't take it back. Fuck, please don't take it back."

"I'm going to walk back out the door and get the secretary to announce that I'm here." She points at my office door. "She'll call me Ms. Ross but go with it. When I come back in, you'll have the ring in your hand and you'll get down on one knee and say something romantic."

I scrub my hand across my face. "What? Did you just give me a play-by-play on how to propose to you?"

"I did." She nods. "Do you have it? Do you know what to do?"

"No." I start towards her as she nears the door. "It's not happening like this."

She tries to pull open the door but my hand holds it closed. "Nathan," she practically screams my name. "I have to get to class soon. I don't have time for this. Let me leave so I can come back and you can propose."

I smile down at her, soaking in her obvious frustration. "It's not happening, Jessica. You don't get to control this."

"I'm going to say yes if you ask me today." She stomps her heel on the floor.

"You're going to say yes when I ask you and that's not going to be today."

She taps me on the tip of my nose, turns towards the door, throws it open and walks towards the bank of elevators without turning back around.

***

"I'm here as a client, not as an attorney." I toss the agreement Jessica gave me across the desk of my friend, Lyle Benson. "You're the family law expert. Tell me what you think."

He picks the papers up and scans them quickly. "This is the case you told me about on the phone?"

"I crossed out all the names." I had painstakingly spent last night copying every page of the document before crossing out the names. I trust Lyle but the last thing I need is a leak to the press. Jessica doesn't need her name dragged into anything to do with the Governor and his family.

He tosses the papers to the side. "Give me a day or two to go over this."

"I don't have that much time," I lie. I have all the time in the world. I've studied those documents for hours. I can't find even the smallest loophole. I don't even know what is driving my incessant need to find some way for Jessica to have a role in her daughter's life. I can only attribute it to my need to give her anything she craves.

"Sit." He motions to a couch against the wall near his desk. "Give me ten minutes."

I don't normally acquiesce this easily, but for Jessica I'll hang upside down if need be. I walk slowly to the couch, lower myself down and pray that there's something in those documents that will give her the chance she wants to see her baby girl.

"I'll be done school in a few weeks." She settles down on my lap on the couch.

I push my phone to the side as I pull my arms around her. "I know. I'm excited to have my girl back." The words could be interpreted as selfish. They're not. I'm Jessica's biggest supporter. I pushed her to enroll in culinary school. I give her all the space she needs to focus on her career. Cooking is her passion. I want her to excel at it. I want her to have everything in life that she desires. I'll sacrifice whatever I can to give that to her.

"You're excited that I'll have more time to suck your cock."

I laugh out loud at how brash the words are. "You're starting to sound more and more like me every day." She is. She's so open about her desire for me, just as I am with her. We talk easily and comfortably about sex. We always have. It's just one part of our relationship that I cherish deeply.

"You can't deny it, Mr. Moore." She traces a path along my chin with her lips. "You love it when I slide your big, beautiful cock between my lips."

I grab her head, tilting it to the side so I can slide my lips effortlessly over hers. I push between them with my tongue, pulling it alongside hers before I bite her bottom lip sharply. "You want me to fuck your mouth right now, don’t you?"

"No." She pulls back slightly so she can work on the buttons of my shirt. "I want you to lick me until I come."

I wrap my hand around her waist and flip us over with little effort. She's laid out before me on the couch now, her beautiful body wrapped in a simple black dress. She'd teased me endlessly through dinner earlier, leaning forward so I could catch a glimpse of the side of her round breast. "You want me to eat your beautiful pussy until you come all over my face, don't you?"

She nods slowly. "Do it now."

I pull on the sash of her dress, pushing it apart. She looks magnificent, sprawled out before me in a black bra and matching panties. "I love your tits."

Her brow furrows for a moment as she watches my hands unlatch the front of her bra. Her tits fall out. They're perfectly shaped, the nipples already hardening at the promise of an orgasm.

"I want you to lick me," she says, almost begging.

"I will." I grab both of her breasts, kneading the milky flesh in my hands. "I need to bite your nipples first."

A moan escapes her before my lips even touch her skin. I race my tongue around her right nipple, pulling it to full attention. I blow on it, watching its natural reaction to the burst of chilled air.

Her hands pull on my shoulders. "I'm so aroused, Nathan."

It's a confession she doesn't need to make. Her entire body is trembling. She's aching to come. I need her to yearn for it. I want her to feel every single bite of pleasure course through her before she tumbles over the edge. "You'll come, Jessica. When I want you to come, you will."

She curses under her breath before I feel her relax beneath my touch. I lick a path towards her left breast before I bite hard on her nipple. I'm rewarded with a deep, low moan.

"You like that, don’t you?" I growl. "You like when I bite your beautiful nipples."

"I do," she murmurs. "I love it."

I pull my lips across her stomach, relishing in how soft her skin is. The natural fragrance of her body consumes me. It makes me instantly hard. My cock is straining for its own release against my pants. I can't think about it. All I can focus on is how sweet she's going to taste when I lick my tongue over her hot folds.

"Lick me, please."

I love when she's like this. I can't stand how good it feels to know that she wants me as desperately as I want her. "I love how you taste. You're so sweet. You're so fucking good, Jessica."

Her hand pulls on my hair, trying to guide my face down. I lick her thigh, my face rubbing along her panties. She whimpers at the intimate touch.

"You're going to come so hard. You're going to come so hard all over my face." The words spill out of me. I can't control them.

"Do it," she coaxes. "Please, now."

I don't hesitate a moment longer. I pull her panties down and off, tossing them over my shoulder. I quickly push her legs apart while I stare down at her glistening wetness. She's so ripe and ready. Her body needs mine so desperately.

"Fuck," she draws the word across her lips slowly and softly.

I lick her hard, lapping up everything she's already offered to me. I crave the taste. "This is so good."

"So good," she parrots back as her hands weave between the strands of my hair. "Make me come."

I cup her ass in my hands as I eat her hard. I pull her clit into my mouth, holding tight to her body as she wiggles beneath me. I push a finger into her, then another. I keep up the pace, slowly fucking her with my hand as my tongue flicks her clit over and over again. I bend my finger into her, honing in on the one spot that throws her over the edge quickly and desperately.