If Your Wife Only Knew (5 page)

“You want to say ‘whore'?”

“I did want to say it, and I will say it. The other woman is a ho!”

“You are entitled to your opinion, but why does that woman have to be called an ugly name only because she fell in love with the same man? Plus, you know nothing about the chick that the man is allegedly messing with.”

“I don't have to know anything about her,” Kiara snapped. “If he's married, he's off limits point blank period. She should know that.”

“What she ‘should know' always isn't the case. Maybe he hasn't admitted he's married. You'd be surprised at how many men hide their status.”

“Now, see, that's just something I don't understand. How can a man be living with his wife and going around acting like he's single and ready to mingle? I'd kill Rashad if he denied me. Then I'd kill the other woman, too.”

Alexis tried to place her shaking hands in her lap. “I'm sure you don't have to worry about that with your man. You're one of the lucky ones.” She forced herself to smile as she gazed at the family photo on Kiara's desk. “Your family looks sooo nice. And I can tell you've got a special one right there.”

Kiara thought about it and nodded. “Overall, I probably am fortunate to have him. But he's the lucky one because he has me.”

“Hmm. He's lucky, all right.”

“Oops, so sorry. I'm not trying to brag or anything. And Alexis, don't give up hope. I'm sure in due time, the right man will come along for you, too.”

“How do you know he hasn't already come along?”

“Oh, is that right? Well, I'd love to meet your man one day.”

“Maybe you will.”

“Do you have a photo of him in your phone?”

Alexis stood up. This was her opportunity to tell Kiara that she was sleeping with Rashad. Her BlackBerry was tucked inside its Union Jack curve case; she opened the case, then snapped it shut. “I do have a photo, but I will show it to you some other time. I need to get going on that meeting request.”

Alexis was just fucking with her boss, for she knew that she did not have a single photo of Rashad on her work cell phone.

 

That afternoon, once the entire staff gathered again in the conference room, Kiara stood before all twelve employees appearing resolute and stern.

“Normally, we do not meet about these types of topics, but considering what happened a couple of hours ago I felt it was necessary to bring everyone up to speed. I've met with the campus chief of police and one of the lieutenants. A woman whose spouse does work at TSWU came unannounced to our building today around one-thirty. She was screaming and causing a disturbance. Thankfully, she was unarmed. She wasn't arrested but was issued a warning. I'm not sure if she also entered any other buildings before she found herself over here, but the good news is no one was hurt.”

“Why was she here? I missed the action,” asked Ellie, the assistant manager of marketing.

“Her man ain't right, that's why she was here,” Shyla said and gave a smug look. “Me and my man Wesley are getting married the first weekend in November, and I let him know from the jump that I do not play when it comes to cheating. In fact, if we're walking down the aisle towards the minister and if Wesley so much as looks at another woman, I will call off the wedding even before I say ‘I do.' I will tell that minister, ‘Before you get started, I
do not
. It's a
wrap
. And y'all don't have to go
home
, but you gots to get the hell up
outchea
.'”

Everyone except Alexis broke into laughter. She was trying to figure out how someone as disgusting as Shyla could get engaged when she knew for a fact she was a much better catch than that silly bird.

“Well, since I wasn't here, I can't say why the woman ended up in our building, but you can only imagine,” Kiara replied. “All I know is it sounded scary. People pop off over any and every thing these days. You know the state is debating if we all may carry concealed weapons on college campuses. So the tension is real, active shooters are in the headlines, and workplace violence is on the rise.”

“We don't have to worry about anything like that happening here, though,” said Tony. “Just about everyone who works in this department is happily married.”

“True that,” said Shyla. She sneered at Alexis and cackled.

“But, Tony, how would you know how happy they are?” Alexis spoke up. “You really know everything about everybody's relationship?”

Tony's face turned a deep red.

“Leave him alone,” Kiara snapped.

“I'm sorry, Tony,” Alexis apologized. “I'm just saying some people try to act like they're Beyoncé and Jay-Z. Outwardly that couple looks happy. But nobody knows what goes on behind closed elevators.”

“Womp, womp,” Tony said good-naturedly. “She's right about that one.”

“Womp, womp. She's always good for ruining a fun moment,” Shyla hissed in response. Alexis pretended like she didn't hear and she didn't care. But she definitely heard.

 

Later that evening, a couple hours after she'd gotten home from work, Alexis glanced at her watch for the twentieth time. The walls inside her house smelled like fresh pine. She toted around a bucket of hot water as she wiped kitchen counters that were already clean. When she was finished wiping, she got the broom and swept an immaculate floor. And several times she turned on the television in the living room just to turn it off every time a commercial came on that made a doorbell sound.

When she finally did hear a rapped knock on her door, Alexis took her time opening it. When she finally swung open the door, she stood and placed one hand on her hip.

Rashad beamed at her and opened his arms as he walked toward her, but she stopped him.

“I don't know what type of bitch you think I am, but you're about to find out.”

“Huh?”

“You're late. Two hours late. Late Negroes get docked.” She twirled around, walked back through her doorway, then slammed the door in Rashad's face.

Rashad buzzed her cell phone but she let it ring without answering. Alexis walked into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and grabbed a bottle of champagne and a container of orange juice. She calmly fixed herself a mimosa then fired up a cigarette.

She took her drink and went to open the patio door. She stretched out on the chaise longue, puffed on her cigarette, and waited.

She let the phone ring another ten times before she answered. “What?”

“Baby, I apologize. I'm wrong. I was late and I should have told you.”

“You damn right you should have told me. I don't know what type of fool you take me for but you're messing with the wrong chick. I could be doing a whole lot more important things besides sucking your dick.”

“Aww, sweetness, don't say that. I told you I'm sorry.”

“Sorry won't fix this. Do you know how long I've been waiting for you?”

“Calm down, beautiful. It's gonna be all right because I'm here now.”

“I needed you earlier, though.”

“Why? What happened?”

“I had a rough day. I-I just thought you could help make it better.” She caught herself. “But the fact that you didn't care about my feelings really has me fucked up.”

“I wasn't late on purpose.”

“It's not just the fact that you're late, Rashad. I really had a moment.”

He paused.

“What type of moment?”

“I don't know how much longer I can take this. I sense Kiara knows something. She makes odd comments sometimes. And I'm not in this situation by myself. But when I need to talk to you about things, you aren't always available.”

“I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. What can I do to make it up to you?”

“I'll have to think about that one. And I'm not sure I can accept your apology.”

“Damn, baby, why you being so hard on a brother? C'mon, let me come in. We can talk.”

“We're not just gonna talk. I know you.”

“We're gonna do two of my favorite things: talk and make love. How about that, baby?”

“You heard me, Rashad. I'm not in the mood to let you feel on my booty, my twat, or any other part of this good stuff.”

“You playing, right?”

“The next time you see me will be Friday. You think you can remember to treat me right between now and then?”

He nursed his bruised ego with a silence that scared her. But then he said, “All right, sexy. I will see you in a few days.”

T
hat Friday, Rashad rehearsed in his head what he needed to tell his wife. He arrived home from doing some subcontractor work around two o'clock, much earlier than usual. Kiara had been in the house all that day with Myles, who was battling a slight fever. She'd been busy tending to her son and doing lots of housework, plus she checked into the office via her tablet. After Kiara cooked and they enjoyed a late lunch, Rashad ran the water for her to take an afternoon bubble bath. She was standing in front of the vanity mirror tying a purple and gold headwrap around her bob.

“Thanks for the bath. You gonna be joining me?”

“Um, I meant to tell you, babe, I got some business to take care of tonight. I'll be leaving in a minute.”

“It's almost four. You're working late again?”

“I gotta go when the money is calling. You know how this industry is.”

“What type of job is it?”

“These old people finally paid off their mortgage and they need me to do three bathroom renovations and some other odds and ends at their house.”

“Okay, well, just make sure and give me the check so I can deposit it.”

“Um, all right.”

“What's wrong? You don't sound right.”

“It's just that I may do the deposit myself.”

“Rashad! I told you I prefer to keep up with the money side of the business.”

“Okay, all right. When the time comes to get the check, I will remember to hand it over to you.”

“Good! You know, I miss you when you work at night. And Myles misses you, too.”

“I'll make it up to the little man next Saturday. We'll go to the zoo or fly helicopters or something chill like that.”

“Okay, babe. The zoo sounds fun but don't forget to actually take him because he's been asking me about it. He's fascinated by those homing pigeons.”

She gave her husband a kiss on his lips. “I'm glad you do the type of work that you do. You have no idea.”

“I'm glad, too. Glad I listened to my daddy and let him drag me around when I was a kid teaching me how to use my hands.”

Before his father died, he left Rashad his firm, Eason & Son Contractors. He taught his son everything he knew about the business. And carrying on his dad's legacy was very important to Rashad.

“Bye, baby, love you.”

Rashad went to the elderly couple's house. He did a walk-through and gave them a quote for the work they wanted him to do. But that task took no time. He soon left. He had somewhere else to be.

 

A half hour later, Rashad nervously stood in front of Alexis's front door. She waited a minute then opened it. She was dressed in jeans, a simple dark blue shirt, and some Chuck Taylors.

“You ready?” he asked.

She nodded. He got back in his van and started to drive off. Alexis followed behind him in her white Honda CR-Z.

They drove approximately forty minutes to an older neighborhood on the far north side of Harris County.

Alexis hopped out of her car and walked up to the door of a seventeen-hundred-square-foot one-story brick house. The home was surrounded by a white picket fence. Numerous toys were strewn around the front yard.

Soon a woman answered the door. She wore a kind smile on her face, but her eyes looked tired.

“Glad you made it out,” she told Alexis. “This little monster is about to drive me crazy so you keep her as long as you want.”

“Thanks, Glynis. I'll take her off your hands for a few hours.”

Glynis and Alexis had the same father, but different mothers. Glynis was slightly older than Alexis and ran an in-home day care center along with Hazel, her co-operator. Alexis ventured in the main play area, which was an oversized living room with green, yellow, and blue painted walls and tons of shelves filled with games and books. Several kids ignored her as they happily played in a corner. Then she spotted Hayley. Alexis's eighteen-month-old baby girl was wiggling in her car seat and tampering with the belt buckle. Her eyes were filled with tears but when she saw Alexis, a sweet smile lit up her entire face.

“Lessie,” she said.

“Yes, your Lessie is here.” Alexis reached down and nuzzled the girl's cheek with her nose. Lessie was Hayley's nickname for her mother. Glynis watched the baby throughout the week, and Alexis spent time with her daughter on the weekends. They had an informal agreement for Glynis to be Hayley's primary caretaker. No legal papers, no social workers; just Glynis's willingness to help out since she had the child care background.

“Mmm, I missed you, sweetie. Let's go get turnt up.”

Glynis handed Alexis a tote bag filled with a stuffed animal, cleaning wipes, pacifiers, a sweater, and some GoGo SqueeZ pouches.

“Thanks. You know how much this means to me.”

“I don't know why you tell me that all the time. It's not a problem. That's what sisters are for.”

“But you're doing way more than what a sister should do.”

“We're just doing what we have to do.”

“I just hope Hayley understands this 'cause sometimes even I don't understand it.”

Glynis hesitated, then nodded. The fact that she asked to help raise Hayley when Alexis got pregnant by an older, married man was something that had always caused a slight rift between them. Glynis couldn't have kids. Alexis dreaded the scandal her pregnancy would cause. Her half-sister stepping in seemed to be the perfect solution at the time.

Alexis told Glynis good-bye, then carried her daughter out to the curb. After Alexis carefully strapped Hayley in the backseat of her Honda, she took off down the street. Rashad followed. They ended up in a nearby park located next to a fire station.

Rashad removed his daughter from her car seat. He scooped her in his arms and gave her a dozen kisses. She laughed, screamed “Dada,” and played with his cheeks. Alexis watched them and couldn't help but smile.

They walked over to the fire station and Rashad pointed out all the features of the big red trucks.

“She's getting so tall.” Alexis was in awe as she stared at the child's eyes, hands, lips, and soft brown hair.

“Yes, she is. Just like her mama,” Rashad said with pride.

Alexis hesitated. “I wish you'd come inside that house for once.”

“I'm not exactly Glynis's favorite person.”

“I know, but I don't know why we can't come up with a way to fix this situation.”

“For now we're doing the right thing; we're doing the best thing.”

“Best for whom? I think you're a coward. And you better be glad she's too young to know what's up. But what's going to happen when she gets older? What are you going to tell her?”

“I will cross that bridge when I get to it.”

“I think that your foot is pretty much on the bridge already, Rashad.”

“Look, I'm not ready for this to get out.”

“You'll never be ready. So we may as well get it over with. I'm scared, too, but I want my daughter to have a bigger role in my life. And you ought to be able to have Hayley in your life the way she's supposed to be. People do it all the time.”

“Alexis, please. I'm not trying to hear all that. Let's just enjoy right now, okay?”

Rashad focused on playing with Hayley and picking her up when she started whimpering. He gave her more hugs and kisses and she instantly quieted down.

“You definitely have an effect on her.”

“You give Glynis some money?” he asked.

“Not yet.”

“Well, you know how she is, so don't forget.”

“Yeah! She acts like everything is cool, and she's been great. But sometimes I think she resents me. Like I'm one of those women who can get pregnant and she's pissed because she couldn't. I sympathize but that's not my fault.”

After they finished spending time with Hayley at the park, they took her to a restaurant so she could eat chicken fingers loaded with ketchup and chewy carrot sticks, both her favorites.

They sat snugly together in a booth. They ate and played with Hayley and laughed at her antics. She loved to sing, wobble her head in a silly way, and talk incessantly about nothing. Alexis stared at her daughter, amazed by everything she did. Hayley made her brim with happiness; she wondered if Rashad was as happy as she was. Could he ever accept their daughter fully into his life or would he always try to keep it on the downlow? The few times that they got to spend together as a family felt wonderful. And she wished this scenario could be her life every day.

When they finished eating and playing, and when Rashad knew their time together was almost up, he picked up the girl and hugged her again.

“I love you. Don't you ever forget that,” Rashad told Hayley, but he was looking right at Alexis when he said it. Alexis's heart skipped a beat when she met his eyes. In spite of their dilemma, she knew he was a great father. And she loved him more than she could ever admit.

When Alexis drove their daughter back to Glynis's house, the woman met them at the door before she could even knock.

“She's going to need more diapers and money for summer clothes and a couple more pairs of shoes, plus some other stuff.”

“I already figured that.” Alexis handed Glynis some cash that Rashad had previously given her and whispered, “Thanks.” She didn't look Glynis in the eye.

“And um, I need to go back to the doctor soon for a diabetes follow-up. That's another two hundred.” Part of their agreement was for Rashad to finance Glynis's medical co-pays. That's one reason why he insisted on withdrawing cash out of his bank accounts. Cash left no trail.

Alexis paused and peeled off a few more. She really hated doing this type of thing and wanted so badly to make things better for her child.

“So how are things going? Y'all still playing house?”

“I really don't want to talk about it.”

“I just want to be sure that you won't change your mind.”

“I made a promise. I will stick to it. You can help nurture Hayley and I will continue to visit and provide the money you need for her care. That's how it's always been. And how it will always be.”

Alexis told Glynis these things just to pacify her. But in her heart, she'd contemplated having her child full-time.

“All right. Just checking because you and your lover looked mighty comfy.”

“How would you know that?”

“I followed you.”

“Why? You think I'm going to kidnap my own daughter?”

“The way you live your life, there's no telling what you do.”

“I wouldn't harm her. That's my daughter!”

“But I feel like she's mine! And if I want to follow you two and make sure the child is safe, that's what I will do. I love Hayley. And I don't want anything bad to happen to her.”

“I don't want that, either.”

“You probably don't. But sometimes I know you're way more concerned about that man than you are about that precious little baby. All she needs and deserves is love.”

Every word Glynis said made Alexis's heart sag with indescribable pain.

“Please. Stop. I can't listen to your ugly words anymore.”

“Alexis, you d-don't understand. Your life is not like mine.” Fear made Glynis's voice shake as she talked.

“Hayley is my chance to feel like a real woman, my chance to be a mom, and I cherish it. These other kids that I care for, they're cool to be around, but their parents come and take them away from me every evening. At least this one stays the night. Anyway, my child needs me and I'm about to close this door and go tend to her. I'll be in touch.”

“I know you will,” said Alexis. She watched the door slam in her face and heard the little girl screaming and wailing.

Alexis slinked over to Rashad's van and stood next to it. He got out when he saw her staring at him through the window. Her face was pale and drawn.

“Come here,” he told her. Rashad pulled Alexis into his arms and held her; he held on until her trembling body returned to normal.

They made it back to her house; Rashad followed Alexis upstairs. They sat on a cushy love seat in her second-floor den. He covered them with a duvet as they snuggled together underneath.

“What are you thinking about?”

“You don't want to know, Rashad.”

“I don't? Oh, okay. Never mind, then.”

“I don't know how much longer I can deal with this.”

“Why you say that?”

“To be honest, Rashad, I feel like I'm living two lives and not the life that I could be living. And knowing that fucks me up in the head.”

“Babe, regardless, you're doing so well. You have a great job. You spend time with Hayley. She knows who you are. She loves you. I-I'm proud of you.”

“I'm doing
well
? And you're
proud
? That's sounds crazy, Rashad. Is what I'm doing anything to be proud of?”

“I'm just saying I know things are tough, but they could be worse. A whole lot worse.”

“Sometimes I wish—”

“Don't wish. I know this is hard on you. It's hard on me, too, but I'm trying to do the best I can. Why you think I hustle so hard? Why you think I had to lie today so we could go see her? Why you think Wednesdays and Sundays are so special? And today isn't even Sunday so that says a lot. Plus, my little man Myles has begged me to take him to fly his toy helicopter or go hang out with the animals at the zoo. Other things demand my time, too. So when I see you on the weekend, trust me, it's a big sacrifice.”