If Your Wife Only Knew (8 page)

“Men work, Myles. And your daddy is a man.”

“He's a good man.”

“A good man . . . is an accessible man.”

 

When Rashad finally stepped into the house around nine-thirty, Kiara met him at the door.

“Hey,” she said in a crisp tone.

“Hi.” He looked past her and saw his brown polyester upright luggage bag. It was opened and set on the floor. Kiara had purchased the complete set for him years ago. “Why is my favorite suitcase sitting in the middle of the hallway? Are you going somewhere?”

“I'm not, but you might be.”

“Kiara, what's wrong now?”

“I've wanted to talk to you about something, but you're always gone. Or you don't have time. Or you're sleepy. You're sick. Always something.”

“We were just together yesterday.”

“That was then, this is now. How about tonight, Rashad?”

“I'm only one person. And after I get myself situated in a minute, I'd like to go play with my son.”

“Do you know what time it is?”

“Myles won't care. Trust me. I'm going to be a good daddy no matter how much time I spend in the streets.”

“I just want to know if you're doing anything else besides working.”

He sighed and moved past her toward the kitchen. “Kiara, aren't you the one who said you don't mind me working like a slave?”

“That's true, Rashad, but you are doing more than slave work.”

“Huh?”

“Hand over your cell phone. I need to make a phone call.”

“Woman, you must be tripping. You got your own phone and then there's the house phone, too.”

“Why can't I use your phone? Where is it?” She started toward him.

He began to back away. “You do not want to do that.”

“You're right. I don't. I just want you to answer this. Are you fucking another chick?”

“Really, Kiara.”

“I ain't joking. Answer me.”

“You're so loud you're going to scare Myles.”

Kiara stared at Rashad. He looked like he was ready for battle. She leaped at his pants but fell to the floor instead.

“You need to stop. This ain't a good look. You know my work ethic. You ought to trust me.”

“Where's that going to get me?”

He reached down and pulled her up. He removed his cell phone from his back pocket. He handed her the phone.

“Who do you want to call?”

She paused but refused to take his phone. “One day you're going to find out.”

He put his phone back in his pocket. “Kiara, just know that I-I don't want to hurt you. I want our family to be okay and I need you to be the good wife that you always are. You are dope, Kiara. And I-I'm sorry for neglecting you sometimes. But no, I don't have another woman.”

Then he walked away from her.

“I didn't ask you if you had somebody, I asked you if you're
fucking
somebody,” she yelled at him.

He ignored her and kept going till he reached their master bathroom. The walls and flooring boasted decorative diagonal beige tiling. His and hers vanity sinks were topped with granite. The room was dark but he saw that their Roman tub was filled with popping bubbles.

“Damn. Kiara still thinks about me even when I act like an ass.”

Rashad quickly got undressed. He noticed the glass of red wine and the flickering candles on the side of the tub, which made him feel worse.

“I owe this woman.”

Soon Kiara stood in the doorway watching him.

“Um, Rashad—”

“You gonna join me, babe?” he asked. He had already stepped into the tub, sat down, and was leaning back and relaxing.

“Nope. Looks like tonight this bath is just for you.”

“I don't deserve you.”

“I know. We don't always get what we deserve, boo.” She smiled at him, folded her arms across her chest, and flicked on the overhead lights.

As soon as Rashad picked up his favorite white bar of soap, he knew something was wrong.

“Why does this soap look blue?”

She shrugged.

Rashad grabbed a wash rag and began wiping his body. He closed his eyes and moaned. The hot water felt good. Kiara burst out laughing. Rashad opened his eyes and looked down. Large dark blue streaks were all over his chest and arms.

“What the fuck?”

“I meant to tell you, sweetie, I accidentally put blue dye in the water instead of that aqua blue bubble bath. I kind of got it mixed up with Myles's Mr. Bubble container. Sorry! But I did find the real bubble bath and squirted as much of it in the tub as I could.”

“How could you do this? Is this your way of paying me back? 'Cause it's not working.”

“Then I guess I will keep trying until I find something that works.”

 

The next night, Rashad came home promptly at six. A car that he didn't recognize sat in his driveway.

When he reached the living room, it was empty. So was the kitchen. Then he heard two voices. They were coming from his bedroom. He heard Kiara say, “Girl, he was the very definition of a man having blue balls.”

Rashad heard shrieks of laughter. He headed for his bedroom and burst through the door.

The room smelled of Pine-Sol.

Kiara was leaning over the bathtub holding a soapy sponge in her hand.

Adina Davis looked up and smiled. She held a sponge, too.

“Well, if it ain't Rashad Fucking Eason. Long time no see.”

“Kiara, what is she doing here?”

“She's helping me get back on your good side.” Kiara began vigorously cleaning the blue blemishes from the tub.

“Did you put her up to this, Adina? Because that shit wasn't funny.”

“Oh, wow, you blame me . . . and I've only been in your presence for less than two minutes. Rashad, you need to give your wife a little bit more credit. She can make decisions on her own.”

“Shhh, Adina. Just help me please, girl.”

“Y'all two crazy chicks won't be able to clean out that dye. I'll have to replace the entire tub. I hope you had a good time trying to get me back.” He gave Kiara an angry look and walked out of the room.

 

A week later, in the middle of the workweek, Kiara was driving down a feeder road on her way back to the campus. She and Eddison had attended a Board of Regents meeting at one of the satellite campuses. He was tailing her in his dark titanium Chrysler 3000. He picked up his cell phone and voice-dialed Kiara.

“Yes.”

“Hey, I want to talk to you about something important. Can you pull over in the next big parking lot? See that little park up ahead? It won't take a minute.”

Kiara said okay and drove until she could make a right turn into a driveway of a moderate-size city park. She made the car come to a stop. Eddison parked next to her. He waved at her to come and sit in his passenger seat. She slid in the seat next to him and asked, “Hey, what's up?”

“I noticed you at the meeting.”

“And?”

“You looked distracted, Kiara. I was a bit concerned. Is everything okay?”

“Everything is great, Eddison. Just . . . just great.”

“Can you truthfully look me in the eye and tell me that you're happy?”

“Eddison.” She placed her hand on the door handle.

“No, hear me out. Maybe I'm overstepping boundaries but, Kiara, I think you know . . . you know how I feel about you. I respect you and I'd never want to hurt you. But when I see you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like you're faking it and taking it. And you really don't have to take it.”

She waited.

“Like, if you ever get to that point where you want something better, consider me.”

Eddison grabbed her hand. He squeezed it.

“Every marriage doesn't work out. Not to say that yours won't, but if you've given it all you got, and you still aren't satisfied, weigh your options.”

“Are you telling me you're a good option?”

“I'm telling you that I'm here for you. I'm not trying to break up your relationship, but I won't sit back and watch your spirit sink to nothing, either. You have way too much going for you.”

Kiara told Eddison about the most recent events. About how she tried to get Rashad to open up to her but it backfired; and how she tried to get his attention with the blue balls joke and how her actions hadn't necessarily made things better between them since then.

“No woman can permanently change a man's ways. Basically, most men will do what they feel they want to do.”

“I now realize that.”

“Kiara, I'm just going to put it out there. Keep me in mind.” He squeezed her hand then let go. “Think of me when you're feeling down.”

Kiara could only smile and acknowledge the happiness he wanted to offer to her. “If I were to leave him, you'd be my option, Eddison. As crazy as it sounds, I've already thought about it.”

“You have?” He looked pleasantly surprised.

“See, that's what I like about you. You do not take anything for granted.”

Eddison lifted her chin and gently pulled her face near his mouth. When their lips meshed together, the warmth of his touch made Kiara instantly feel like she was being swallowed up by a warm, soothing blanket. He gently and lovingly pressed his lips against hers. Kiara didn't think about it. She automatically opened her mouth and let Eddison in. He extended his tongue and kept reaching till his touched hers. She widened her mouth and let even more of him in. Kiara wanted Eddison's kiss. Their tongues bathed each other's in urgent fashion. She felt like his tongue was making tender love to her entire body. She'd never been kissed that way before. The more she kissed him, the more her vagina got wet. And hot. And she felt she needed to stop. To slow things down. But she couldn't. Eddison felt too good and he smelled even better. She loved his scent and it turned her on so much that she let go of all logic.

Kiara noticed the second her hand wrapped itself around Eddison's neck as if it were a snake. She shut out warning thoughts and pulled him closer to her. She longed to feel him, to be as close to him as humanly possible. Little by little, she noticed her nipples grow rock hard. She wondered how it would feel if his hands rubbed her breasts. She couldn't believe she was sitting in a man's car in broad daylight with her tongue deep inside his mouth as if she didn't have a husband back home. That man may have been at home but what was he doing when he wasn't at home? That's what had been worrying Kiara lately. Her gut vexed her daily. She didn't know if she was losing this fight. All she knew was her marriage was in trouble.

When they finally let each other go, Kiara had tears in her eyes.

“Don't cry. I'd never want to hurt you, my love.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I'd like an honest chance. If fate allows it, I want to be your man.”

Kiara didn't say a word. She just opened his car door and let herself out. She drove back to work wondering how on earth she got into this position. And how on earth would she get herself out of it.

“H
i, Mrs. Eason.”

Kiara had been deeply immersed in her work. She looked up from her desk. Nicole Greene, the new hire for the media coordinator position, stood in the doorway clutching her tote bag close to her chest like it was a pillow.

“Good morning, Nicole. You're early.”

“Traffic was light.”

“No problem. I will show you around and introduce you to the staff.”

It was twenty minutes before eight. And it was another Hump Day in the last week of May. Kiara had been so preoccupied reviewing the budget she'd forgotten that her new employee would check in today.

Nicole's purple optical frames slipped partially down her nose. Her shoulder-length hair was neatly tied in a ponytail and she wore a plain white blouse, brown pleated slacks, and a comfortable pair of flats.

“We'll go to your office. But first let's say hello to Alexis McNeil. Hey, Alexis. You remember Nicole, don't you?”

“Hi. How's it going?”

“As you know, this is Nicole Greene's first day. We want to make her feel welcome.”

“Glad to have you. We have a really cool department with a lot of colorful characters.” Alexis smiled. “I'm sure I'll see you again today. Sorry, but I have a deadline. You know how it is.” Alexis said good-bye and resumed typing.

Kiara gave her attention back to Nicole. “We will fill out the key request forms and another one for a tablet. And you'll be going to new employee orientation later this morning.”

They continued down the hall. “I trust everything went well with your relocation. I know you were in a temporary housing situation when you first moved from Alabama. But how are things now that you've gotten a permanent place?”

“Oh, that. It's going.” Her eyes darted around nervously.

“Explain.”

“It's just a fixer-upper that I found real quick. Rent isn't too bad compared to what I'd pay for a two-bedroom apartment.”

“Obviously, there's something you like about the place.”

“I love hardwood floors. It has a huge backyard and even some fruit trees. But the inside needs work. I'm grateful to have a place to stay.”

“Definitely. What kind of work does your house need?”

“Painting. Drywall. Kitchen needs a backsplash. Completely new cabinets and flooring. Plus a few odds and ends. My landlord said if I get some work done on the place he will credit me on my rent. So I'm working on that now.”

“Wow. As it happens, my husband is a contractor. He does it all. And his prices are reasonable.”

“Okay. All right.” Her voice was so quiet that Kiara barely heard her.

“Make yourself comfortable. You're part of our family now.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.”

Once Kiara dropped Nicole off at orientation, she drove around campus and spotted Eddison walking alongside the law library. She pulled her car to a stop, tooted her horn, and rolled down the window.

“Hello there.”

“Hi, Eddison.”

He casually approached her vehicle. “May I sit next to you?”

“Only if you're on your best behavior.”

“I promise to be good.”

She unlocked the door. Eddison slid onto the passenger seat.

“Look,” Kiara said, “we haven't talked since that day.”

“I missed you.”

“You always say words that make me feel better.”

“Did you like the kiss? Did that make you feel good?”

“Yeah, I liked it. I enjoyed kissing you. Does that make me a bad person?”

“You needed it. And that makes you a normal person.”

“Of course you'd say that.”

Eddison grabbed Kiara's chin.

“Oh, God.” She felt herself crumbling. Again.

She opened her mouth and let him kiss her. She couldn't believe what she was doing, but it made her feel desired.

He stroked her thigh. She got hotter and hotter. After a while they both came up for air.

“Wow.” She laughed and blushed.

“Kiara, I need to know what you plan to do. Because you won't be giving me blue balls. That won't work for me.”

 

Kiara tossed and turned in bed that night. Rashad was late. And she felt afraid. Her anxious mind imagined all sorts of scenarios. She tried to contact him earlier but he did not respond.

Just then Alexis texted her.

Kiara wanted to text a response. But she accidentally waved her hand across the text, which caused her Android to automatically call Alexis. She tried to end the call, but couldn't.

“Damn. I hate this phone.”

Alexis groggily answered. “Hello?”

“Um, sorry to bother you, but I'm responding to your message. Is everything okay?”

“Everything is great.” Alexis's voice sounded muffled.

“Oh, okay. I thought you said you had an emergency.”

“I do,” she gasped. “I am dealing with it right . . . now.” She sounded like she was gritting her teeth.

“Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.”

She heard muffled voices. Alexis grunted, “Okay,” and hung up.

Kiara knew the sounds of sex when she heard them. And she reasoned that Alexis must have been with that man she'd alluded to having a while ago. “Good, I'm glad she's getting some tonight. And it sounds like she'll be getting some more tomorrow.”

Two hours later Rashad came home. Kiara was in their bedroom with her tablet doing some work. He thrust a small vase of roses at her.

“Here you go, babe. Just because.”

“Are you serious? Why'd you buy me these?”

“That's what you wanted, right?”

“I wanted you to answer my calls when I tried you earlier. Why didn't you call me back?”

“I did but your phone was busy. Or it went straight into voice mail.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. So.”

“But why the flowers?”

“You're my wife. That's why.”

He planted a kiss on her forehead. Kiara felt conflicted. She compared Eddison's kiss to Rashad's. No fucking comparison. It seemed like life as she knew it was slipping through her fingers.

She had nightmares all night that Rashad caught her kissing Eddison. In fact, Kiara felt so troubled, she didn't seem like her normal self.

At work the next day, Kiara took a bathroom break. She was standing before the sink when Shyla entered the restroom. Shyla took care of her business and when she emerged from her stall, she noticed her boss staring at the mirror. Water steadily poured from the spigot. A glob of soft soap sat in the middle of Kiara's hand.

“Mrs. Eason? You all right?”

Kiara did not reply.

Shyla turned off the water.

“Mrs. Eason?”

“Huh, oh. Sorry. I-I've got a lot on my mind.”

“It's okay, we all do.”

“How are things going with you and—”

“Wesley? My fiancé and I are good. We are impatiently counting down the days.”

“I can only imagine. I hope everything works out for you two. Hope that you are true soul mates and the life you want to share together will continue to grow and develop and that you receive every single freaking thing you want out of the relationship.”

“Sounds like there's a story behind this little speech.”

“Sorry for the overshare. But I'm already where you're trying to be. And let me tell you, marriage is very hard work. And sometimes we women get so caught up in the wedding that we completely ignore the relationship.”

Shyla put on her concerned humanitarian face.

“Are you and Rashad truly okay? Like, y'all still good, right? I mean, it's not really any of my business. But I'm all about female empowerment. And if you ever need to talk—”

Kiara gave her an emotionless stare.

“I know you may not want to confide in me, but I am a perfect listener, if nothing else. And I know us women gotta stick together no matter what.”

Kiara finally noticed Shyla's enlarged, hungry eyes. “Pretend this never happened. I was having a moment. I'm over it.”

 

The next day around lunchtime, Kiara was in her office responding to emails. Rashad popped his head in her doorway. He tiptoed and tried not to make any noise. He placed his ice-cold fingers on her neck and she jumped in her seat.

“Oh, you scared me half to death.”

Rashad smiled and placed several bags on her conference table.

She recognized the strong aroma.

“Asian?”

“Kim Son, baby.”

“Oh, wow.” She wondered if it was a coincidence. That was the same restaurant where she and Eddison had had lunch the last time they ate together.

“All your favorites.”

“Hmmm.”

“That's all I get? A hmm? Where's a ‘thanks,' a ‘
gracias'
? Even a ‘
Danke
' would help.”

“Rashad, again, you've been catching me off guard. I didn't expect all this.”

“I'm trying to make up for the times I've been an ass. You know that I ain't like that twenty-four-seven, baby.”

“That remains to be seen. But thanks, I think.” She glanced at her watch.

“What? You don't have time to eat lunch with me right now? I had a break and I thought I'd surprise you. Trying to be a good husband. This is what you said you wanted, right? Me showing more effort?”

She thought about Eddison and the fact that he wanted her to make a decision.

“You're outdoing yourself.”

“That's what a good man does.”

“A good man is an
accessible
man,” she told him.

“An accessible man is a
broke
man.”

Shyla suddenly stood in the doorway.

“Hey, y'all. I followed my nose. Something smells really delicious in here.” She gave Rashad an admiring look. “You, sir, are one of the last good ones. I'm going to call my fiancé and tell him he'd better start bringing me lunch to work once we get married.”

Kiara nodded and grinned. She would never want anyone like Shyla Perry to know her marital issues. “I'm telling you, you've gotta train these men early on before it's too late.”

They all laughed.

“Well, I won't interrupt y'all.” Shyla squealed. “That's so romantic. I
love
love.”

Rashad's belly growled like a wild animal. Shyla apologized and dashed out the door. Kiara couldn't help but laugh. She knew her husband was ready to eat.

Right then, Nicole came shuffling into Kiara's office. She wore a turquoise short-sleeve blouse with a pair of tan slacks. Her shoes were ordinary, nothing like the shoe game of her female coworkers.

“Oops, I'm sorry I didn't know—” she mumbled.

“Speak up, what did you say?”

“I said I-I can come back later.”

“No, it's okay. Actually, I'm glad you're here, Nicole. This is my husband, Rashad Eason. Remember, I told you he does renovations and carpentry work.”

“Hey, what's up?” Rashad yelled at Nicole and gave her a casual glance. When she barely spoke, he proceeded to the conference table and made lots of noise opening bags and pulling out cartons of rice, chicken, shrimp, vegetables, egg rolls, and Mekong soup.

“Babe, you ready? I could eat.”

“My husband is rude when he's hungry. Anyway, honey, I will give Nicole your card so she can get with you about doing some minor work for her. All right?”

He nodded and took a spoon and scooped his food onto a plate.

“Nice to meet you,” Nicole mumbled, then she left them alone.

“Rashad, you weren't very nice to my new hire.”

“You know how it is. My stomach is growling. I'm hot. And I stink. I don't need this woman knowing how funky I smell.”

“You are so silly.” Kiara's face brightened as she realized that her husband had surprised her with something she actually liked. She'd wanted things to turn around in her marriage for so long that she had just about given up. Maybe now was the time for her prayers to be answered.

But on her way home, she was thinking about Eddison, and that's when he called her.

“I was thinking about you and wanted to touch base.”

“I was doing some thinking, too,” she said.

“In a good way, I hope.”

“Just keep being good to me.”

She didn't want to tell him that her husband was acting like he had some sense. She knew Eddison was really feeling her. But she only had one heart. She just didn't know if it was big enough to handle her main man, plus the man that wanted to be her main man.

“Kiara, I-I'd like to stop by tomorrow.”

“I don't know about that. I have a pretty tight schedule.”

“Squeeze me in, please.”

“It depends on what this is about.”

“Jerome Fielder is giving a couple of freshmen a really hard time. They got into some trouble. I was hoping you can help them out.”

“Geez, Rashad. I dunno—”

“Ouch.”

“Oops, Eddison, I'm sorry. My bad. I-I didn't mean to seem like I'm blowing you off.”

“I guess when I was preaching to you about the truth, I should have been thinking about myself . . . and if I can handle it.”

“Don't even try it.”