If Your Wife Only Knew (20 page)

“Never cover up all that beauty. You're dope, Nicky.”

“Thanks, Rashad.” Her voice trembled. “You're amazing. You make me so happy. I'm glad we met.” She grabbed his hand, clenched her eyes shut, and pulled his fingers inside her panties. She released his hand, and he began stroking her. Nicole moaned when she felt Rashad's fingers stroke her mound like a skilled guitarist. She bit her bottom lip and shuddered. Together they rubbed her until she climaxed. Nicole slipped out of her dress. Rashad unhooked her bra. She slid off her thong. She helped him pull off his t-shirt, blue jeans, and underwear.

Rashad was instantly into Nicole, kissing her and savoring her restrained sensuality. Her deep desire exploded for him, and her love for him, the love that drizzled from her soul, completely turned him on. She hooked her hands around his neck and kissed him all over his face, his ears, his lips. He loved it, for Rashad had a need to be admired, wanted, and treated like he was everything to a woman.

Rashad's dick was rock-hard as Nicole kissed it and then took it deeply into her mouth. She hungrily sucked, stroked, and licked him. He grabbed her head, twisted and turned, and yelled and hollered. The more he shouted, the more excited Nicole became. She knew this moment would go beyond some oral sex.

Nicole had to have this man completely inside of her.

They engaged in more vigorous foreplay until he got behind Nicole, grabbed her ass, eagerly plunged in, and pumped her over and over again.

He hit it from the back and made noises as his thighs slapped against her.

He cupped her breasts and she cried out to the Lord and gritted her teeth.

“Oh, Rashad, baby, I love this, I love this, God, I love you.”

“Whose pussy is this?”

“It's yours. It's all Rashad's.”

He heard her declaration and knew she meant it.

And in her young mind, Rashad coming inside of her was his way of branding Nicole; an identification mark to declare she was his.

They climaxed simultaneously and fell together in an exhausted heap.

After they rested, Nicole begged for one more round.

Rashad and Nicole were at the point of no return.

 

S
ince the day Eddison and Kiara had unprotected sex, she knew her life was transitioning. It had nowhere else to go but in a different and radical direction.

Kiara tried to be normal and act like all was well in her life, but it was hard to do.

That night Rashad came home late.

She met her husband at the door. He almost stumbled across his suitcase. A few more shirts and pants were tossed in there. It was now three fourths full.

“Oh, we're doing this again?”

“We are doing this and will continue to do this as long as you stop communicating with me about things that are important.”

“What, Kiara?”

“Tonight was our son's Cub Scouts meeting. You were supposed to take him. I called you. You failed to call me back.”

“Oh, snap. Totally forgot. Dammit.”

Rashad had been hanging out at Nicole's. Even though the work at her house was complete, she invited him over to celebrate. She sent him a naked photo of herself and told him, “Use your key.” He was at her place within twenty minutes. They enjoyed a quickie and Rashad actually did forget his son's meeting.

“And that's why this steadily filled-up suitcase will serve as a reminder. Because as long as you keep hanging out with these hoes, you forget what you have at home.”

“Why I gotta be hanging out with a hoe?”

“That's what I want to know.”

Kiara smacked Rashad across his face.

He scowled and walked away.

“I thought you were so big and bad,” she shouted. “But like a guilty person, all you can do is run away. You won't even deny anything. At least tell me the same old lie that you always tell me.”

He twirled around. “I won't argue with you. I was taking care of some business. A client held a party and I came through there for a minute and forgot about the Cub Scout meeting. I got the days mixed up. Where is Myles?”

“I'm about to go pick him up.”

“Where is he?”

“H-he's with one of his friends.”

“Oh, okay. I can go with you to get him. I need to apologize to little man.”

“Nope, if you weren't worried about him before, please don't give a damn now.”

“Kiara, I don't wanna hear that. Let's go.”

She felt nervous. Myles was with Eddison. And there was no way she was taking Rashad with her. She had actually ended up driving Myles to the Scout activity. And since Eddison's house was along the way, she picked up her son and stopped by there to see him after Myles's meeting was over. She was angry that Rashad hadn't shown up. And it felt good she had somewhere else to go besides her empty house. Once Eddison gave Myles popsicles and then showed him the awesome model train collection in the game room, no amount of begging could get the boy to leave. She decided to let her son hang out at Eddison's. She trusted him enough to leave Myles at his place for a short while even though it was almost time for him to go to sleep. That gave her time to go home to confront Rashad.

During the drive home, she imagined what Rashad would do if he knew his son was hanging out with another man.

But right then Kiara knew Rashad was serious about going with her. She took a good look at him. His clothes were wrinkled. He looked different. Her mouth dropped open. He was wearing a green-and-white UAB Alumni t-shirt. She'd never seen it before. She knew he did not leave out the house with that strange-looking shirt.

“What in hell is that shirt you're wearing, Rashad?”

He glanced at his clothes. His face turned red.

“Huh? Answer me!” Kiara screamed.

“Um, it's a—”

“Rashad, you lie so fucking much. I know you probably got that shirt from some bitch you're laying up with. You don't even like UAB. That's why I'm glad I—”

He snatched her by her wrists. “You're so glad you what?” He looked frightened. “Kiara, what's really going on with you? Have you done something bad to Myles?”

“Hurt my own child? Are you crazy?” she screamed.

“No, but you are!” He squeezed her wrists.

“Ouch. Let me go. You're hurting me.”

“What were you about to say, Kiara? What are you glad about?”

She tried to knee him in the groin. He jumped back. He twisted her arm even more. She began crying and struggled to get away.

“Rashad, that fucking hurts. Why do you continue to hurt me? You think I'm supposed to be happy living like this?” She looked at his luggage sprawled on the floor as she shrieked in pain. “You're physically assaulting me, yet you're the one who's done all the dirt; fucking my admin and probably half your damned clients.”

“For the last time, where is my son? What'd you do to him?”

“Jesus Christ, I-I haven't done anything to Myles, you dumb fuck. And I know about UAB. It stands for University of Alabama. Where'd you get that shirt from?”

“Can't I buy a stupid shirt?”

“You are such a liar!”

He let her go and stormed away. She heard their bedroom door slam and the locks turned.

“Liar, liar, liar,” she said. She was glad he fled to the room. It was her perfect chance to avoid his questions and pull herself together before she left to pick up Myles.

 

By the time she rang Eddison's doorbell, she had calmed down. He opened the door and she mouthed, “Thanks, baby.”

He looked pleased to see her. She found Myles. He was watching the Lionel NASCAR trains zip around the tracks. He barely said hello to her.

“Hey, son. It's getting late. We have to go.”

“You hear the choo choo sounds? Can you see the smoke coming out the train, Mommy? This is so much fun. Can I spend the night, please, Mommy?”

“Um, not tonight, Myles. Maybe some other time.”

“Eddy is my new best friend.”

She laughed out loud. Eddison did, too.

“Kiara, may I see you for a second?” She followed him into his kitchen. He knew Myles was preoccupied so he quickly swept the woman he adored into his arms.

“That little man is so smart, so engaged. He is amazing. We had a ball. And I fed him a turkey burger so he's good for the night.”

“
You
are amazing. I feel so bad pulling you into all of this—”

“Shhh,” he said and kissed her lips. “I'm here. I want to be here.” He kissed her again. “If all goes well, you're going to be my lady one day.”

He placed his hand on her flat belly and closed his eyes.

“Are you praying that I'm pregnant and that the baby will be yours?” she asked.

“It
is
mine.”

She turned from him and wrung her hands. This was getting to be too much to deal with. And she felt confused.

She faced him and said softly, “I-I-I don't even know if I'm pregnant yet. Plus we wouldn't know until DNA tells us.”

“But I can dream, can't I?”

She didn't want to dash his hopes. Ever since she had learned that her period was late, he and Adina were the only people she'd told. Kiara was in a daze. She knew that if she was pregnant, it would be because the Lord allowed it.

If Eddison turned out to be the father, Kiara would have to deal with that when the time came. She could envision Eddison being a good daddy. But the power of paternity wasn't in her hands. It was in God's hands. And that's what Kiara was afraid of.

Regardless of what happened, as long as there was a chance that Rashad was the father of her baby, Kiara knew that she had to take control in ways she never imagined.

I
t was a Wednesday. A Hump Day. Alexis was at work using the women's restroom. As she sat there, Rashad texted her.

She had been ignoring him for weeks. But for a moment she felt curious. She picked up her iPhone, the one she used to keep in touch with him, and she called him.

“Hey, Skillet. It's about time you answered my calls.”

“I've been busy.”

“What? You have never been too busy for me. What you been doing?”

“Living my life; just like you've been living yours.”

Alexis heard some commotion and recognized Nicole and Shyla's voices as they entered the restroom. They were so busy cackling she figured they didn't know she was hidden away in a stall. She thought about how she had seen Nicole and him at the restaurant that day hugged up for a photo op, and how the basic chick was always talking trash to her for no reason. It infuriated her. She put Rashad on speaker and let him talk.

“I ain't been doing nothing out the ordinary,” he said, his loud voice echoed against the walls.

“Shhh,” Alexis heard one of the ladies say.

Alexis continued talking. “It's me. I know you. If you ain't fucking one bitch, then I know you'll be fucking another. That's how you do—with your fine ass.”

A hush fell over the restroom.

“Skillet, you spazzing out.” He laughed. “You ought to let me get some loving again. You act like your legs are closed up to me. You been letting anybody else hit that?”

“As a married man, you have zero jurisdiction over me, sweetie. You can't be asking me questions like that.”

“You better not be fucking anybody but me,” he said.

Alexis emerged from her stall. She whipped back her weave and stared Nicole dead in the face. The woman's mouth was all twisted up in anger and disgust.

“You don't run me, Rashad!”

He laughed. “Okay, sweetness. We'll see. Meanwhile, let's plan to go see Hayley and do something fun with her.”

“Sure. Anything for your child . . . I mean anything for you with your childish self.”

She hung up.

“Who is Hayley?” Nicole demanded.

“Mind your business.”

“He is my business, bitch.”

“If he was really your business, you'd already know.”

Alexis washed her hands and ignored the two women as she calmly left the restroom.

 

A little while later, Alexis looked up from her desk. She saw Nicole emerging from Kiara's office. Then she saw Kiara walking down the hall in her direction. Her face looked distressed.

“I need to talk to you, Alexis.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Alexis wanted to cry. She hated Nicole. The chick just didn't know when to stop.

Kiara closed the door behind her and watched Alexis take her seat.

“Um, this is an odd question, but what kinds of dealings do you still have with my husband?”

“Barely any, to be honest.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes! Why do you ask?”

“Nicole told me she overheard—”

“Shouldn't you be questioning Rashad? Isn't he more of your concern than me?”

Kiara looked taken aback. “Well, yes, but I always like to hear both sides of the story.”

“My side is that there is no side. I've been doing my best to avoid him. Unless it's absolutely necessary.”

“What would make it necessary for you to see Rashad?”

Alexis said nothing.

“Does it have to do with a child?”

“Excuse me?”

“Nicole seems to believe that a child is involved.”

“Oh really? Nicole doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about!” Alexis was on the verge of tears. Kiara was standing over her. She felt like a trapped animal.

“Alexis, if there is a child, and I hope there isn't, you should come clean.”

“There is no child!”

Kiara stared at her and said, “All right then. You may return to your desk.” Alexis left Kiara's office.

As soon as she was gone, Kiara placed a call to Rashad. He answered on the first ring.

“Hey—”

“What's this I hear about you having a child with Alexis?”

“What?”

“People overheard conversations, so there are rumors going around.”

“People don't know what they heard.”

“But you don't know what they heard either, so how can you even assume? Either you do or you don't.”

“I don't.”

She stared at the phone and fell into silence. And then she hung up.

 

Alexis couldn't wait till lunchtime. For the first time in a long time, she was ecstatic to meet up with a man on Hump Day and she was so happy that it wasn't Rashad.

She tried to hide her grin as she stood out in the employee parking lot next to her building. She could see Varnell approaching her. This felt good. This was how a woman ought to be treated.

He carefully parked next to her. Hopped out the car and opened her door for her.

“Thank you,” she said. “You are a rare one.”

He laughed and told her, “I've been out of practice for a minute so forgive me if I'm rusty.”

Varnell asked her what she had a taste for.

“I love Cajun food.”

“You got it.”

She directed him to a downtown diner that she'd always heard about. Once they parked, got in line to order their meals, and took their seats, Alexis couldn't stop smiling.

“Why you look like that?” he asked.

“I'm glad we finally got to meet up. This is a nice way to break up my day, which has been pretty hectic so far.”

“Oh, then I'll make sure that you have a good lunch, how about that?”

He sat across from her and, from the way he wolfed down his food, she liked that he appreciated a good, solid meal. The more she discreetly observed Varnell, the more she liked him. His skin was the color of a walnut. He had strong hands, twinkling eyes that were filled with compassion, and a gentle way about him that reminded her of her daddy.

“You know, Alexis, if anything, I must thank you for having patience. I know most women don't like to wait on guys.”

“Tell me about it,” she said. “It is hard for me to be patient. I like for things to stay popping.”

“Well, thanks for the last-minute casual lunch. I was in the area and I just wanted to see you. Make sure you're okay. And let you know that I hadn't forgotten about you. I don't like to tell people one thing and do something else. So get ready for the first of many dates that I want us to have.”

Alexis grinned and nodded. She sat and enjoyed her stuffed pork chop and jambalaya, and she daydreamed about a better future. A more realistic life that didn't depend on married men who played games. Alexis didn't want to be a mistress forever who had to hide. She wanted the best that life could offer to her and Hayley, and she could only hope that she was on her way to getting it.

 

Alexis sat on the edge of her seat in the darkness of the Hobby Center. She mouthed the lines to the Broadway musical as she watched the actress playing Sofia in
The Color Purple
.

She clutched the program tightly in her hands. She heard the tittered laughter of the audience that surrounded her on both sides. She sat smack in the middle of the aisle with a perfect view of the actors.

“You enjoying yourself?”

Alexis gently nodded, her eyes steadfast on the breathtaking production, her ears taking in the dialogue, the heightened sounds of the auditorium. She was moved to tears, thinking of the need to fight, and how you must battle in order to win.

When it was all over, and the audience rose to its feet in loud and enthusiastic applause, Alexis finally exhaled. The lights went up. Varnell grabbed her by the hand and escorted her to the crowded lobby where theatergoers were purchasing gift items and mementos from the popular musical.

She was so grateful that her mother had agreed to watch Hayley that Saturday afternoon. Earlier she told her mom she had a date with a single man. And thankfully, for the first time in a long time, her mother was excited for Alexis.

They went down the escalator, through the exits, and walked on the sidewalks amidst the crowds.

“I see you have a huge smile on your face,” Varnell said. “I hope that means you were okay with this official first date.”

“I am. It's just what I needed.” She was thinking,
Maybe you're just what I needed
, but her cautious heart kept those words from escaping her mouth.

They took a leisurely stroll to a downtown Houston outdoor café. When Varnell pulled out her chair for her to sit down, Alexis fought hard to act calm and like she was used to good treatment. She relished how good it felt to be with this man.

“Let it out. Your facial expressions are saying all kinds of things . . . things I'd like to hear.”

Alexis felt self-conscious when a blush spread across her cheeks. Varnell was so different from Rashad. He was polite, strong yet gentle, and a teensy bit shy mixed with humbleness.

“No, really. I'm just having a great time. It's been awhile.”

“Really? A pretty woman like you ain't used to having a good time every day?”

She shrugged. “Story of my life. Everything that glitters isn't gold.”

“Well, somehow I knew that. From the first time I laid eyes on you in that grocery store, I knew there was a story underneath those beautifully sad eyes.”

She didn't know how to respond.

“I'm glad we met, though. You are more chill than I thought.”

“Oh, really?”

“You look high maintenance—”

“I can be,” she admitted.

“I knew that, too, but I decided to take a chance. To not judge you by your pretty face, your nice clothes, your perfect hair.”

“It's not all real. But I like it,” she replied, sifting her fingers through her long strands.

“I know that. Some women these days think you gotta wear all this weave and . . . silicone booty and five-thousand-dollar boob jobs.”

She laughed. “I know what you mean. It seems like you're not getting the real woman, right?”

“Correct.”

“And I completely understand that, Varnell. It's just that when you give someone the real you, and you still get rejected, well, a little bit of Indian hair doesn't seem to matter that much. Some women do what they think they need to do to make themselves feel and look good.”

“I know, but it always seems like it's something you slap on yourself. On your head. On your body. On you. Over you. Covering you. Men just like to know what they actually getting, that's all.”

“I hear you. And I hope my weave doesn't make you want to stop seeing me.”

It was his turn to be surprised. “You want to see me again?”

“Why not? Don't sell yourself so short, boo.”

“Oh, it ain't that. I just thought I moved a little too slow for you.”

“Slow is good sometimes. I've done fast. Fast only speeds up heartbreak.”

“Tell me about it.”

They ordered seared salmon with mashed potatoes and broccoli. By this time, if she'd been with anybody else, she'd had retrieved a cigarette by now, lit it up and smoked away her nerves. But Alexis wasn't really nervous right then. She enjoyed her date's company so much she felt she didn't want to ruin anything. She wasn't sure what their new relationship would lead to, and God knows she didn't want to scare the man away.

“You got a man?”

“Whoa, I did not expect that abrupt question.” She paused to take a long sip of green tea.

“What's your answer?”

“I have a . . . I have a situation.”

“A situation.”

“Yeah, you know one of those things where it's hard to explain exactly what it is and even if you do know what it is, you still aren't ready to explain it? One of those.”

“One of those. Well, it happens, especially if you live in this world long enough.”

“How about you?”

“Never married. I've had some long-term relationships. They were good . . . in the beginning. Now I'm kind of chilling. When you've been there and done that, you feel you already know what's going to happen. I'm waiting for a nice surprise to come my way.”

“I love how that sounds. Nice surprises instead of the normal B.S.”

He concentrated on eating his food then asked, “What do you want out of life, Alexis McNeil?”

“I-I just want to . . . um. I just want.”

“You don't have to answer now. We have plenty of time to figure it out. Together.”

She offered Varnell a grateful smile. She knew what she wanted to say, but right then she lacked the courage to tell him that her life was a mess and she was in the process of fixing her “situation”; that she wanted Varnell to meet Hayley, and how she wanted a true, authentic relationship that was acceptable to her mother.

Alexis hoped that one day the fragmented pieces of her life would eventually click together and make perfect, happy, unsurprising sense.

 

When the following weekend arrived, Alexis made a random decision to go to the Home Depot. She needed to get some fertilizer for the backyard. She found a parking place, got out of the car and started walking toward the entrance. But as she passed through the lot, she saw Rashad's new sedan. She knew his license plate number. The windows were rolled down. Alexis peeped inside. The car was empty. The key was in the ignition. She knew Rashad had a bad habit of leaving his windows open. And apparently now he was forgetting and leaving keys in the car too. She reached inside, removed his key, and hid it in her hand.