Howl (18 page)

Gavin glanced at my leg and nudged my muzzle
to force me up. I fell again before fully rising. He whined at me
and motioned to Tristan to stay by my side.

He growled at us, a warning not to leave this
spot for even a moment. Gavin wasn’t supposed to leave us even for
a second. Tristan and I were both way too young to be out running
that close to Kane by ourselves. We all knew how much trouble Gavin
would be in if Mom found out. But I guess the need to get us home
quickly overpowered Mom’s rule on that one. So Tristan and I lay
back down in the brush and watched as Gavin took off at lightening
fast speed toward town. I could make out where the town of Kane
began through the trees because I could see a few twinkling lights.
I couldn’t tell exactly where Gavin was headed. After what seemed
like only minutes I heard Gavin’s paws scraping the dirt.

Gavin skidded to a stop in front of me,
clothing dangling from between his teeth. He dropped the clothing
and howled proudly. Quickly, he and Tristan ran off into the trees.
I felt the warm rippling wave of shifting wash over me only to be
interrupted by a seriously sharp crunch as my legs shifted into
human form. I screamed one long piercing, human scream and doubled
over in pain. Gavin was by my side in an instant. He grabbed a
piece of clothing from the crumpled heap and shot into the woods.
Soon enough he was back, this time in human form, wearing what
looked like dark sweatpants.

“Hey, what happened?!” He nearly shouted.

“I d-d-don’t know. I think my leg is
b-b-brok-ken.” I cried.

“Whoa. Sophie, listen to me. Don’t try to
shift back because it might make it worse. You have to get dressed
and I’ll get you out of here.” Gavin said urgently.

Through white-hot pain, somehow I managed to
throw on a tee shirt and shorts in the dark without fully passing
out. Gavin tried to comfort me as he picked me up, ever so gently.
“Sophie it’s going to be okay. Shh… I’ve got you… it’s going to be
okay.”

”I think I need to go to the hospital.” I
gasped.

“I’ll try to move quickly without bouncing
you around. The hospital isn’t far but I’ll be moving slow in human
form. Do you think you can make it?”

I nodded again, the tears and snot pouring
down my face. Gavin looked over to the trees to Tristan. He
whistled our five-count call and nodded his head in the direction
of town. We travelled gradually (and for me, painfully) through the
trees to the town. I tried to not think about the searing pain in
my leg because that only made it worse.

As the emergency room entrance grew closer,
Tristan attempted to follow us inconspicuously; trotting along like
a pet wolf-dog mix so as to not draw attention to us as we walked.
I had the passing thought that Tristan looked kind of silly acting
like a lap dog instead of the growing werewolf he was. If I hadn’t
been in so much pain I might have actually laughed at the
ridiculousness of Tristan as a pet.

Gavin carried me into the hospital while
Tristan stayed outside, hiding in the shadows I assumed. Gavin
stayed with me the whole night while they X-rayed my leg and
eventually reset my fractured femur bone in a ridiculously large
cast. I don’t remember much else about that night because the
doctors gave me a ton of pain meds which all but knocked me out.
What I do remember is my big brother, my Gavin, holding my hand
while the doctors worked to reset my bone and promising me that he
would do whatever it took to make me okay again.

*

Gavin is gone…. I thought to myself as I
swiftly regained consciousness with this terribly sobering
thought.

When I finally peeked out from under my
blanket, the room was completely dark. A gurgling in my stomach
along with the dark outside my window told me I’d been asleep for
some time. As I rolled over I spotted the very dried pool of vomit
on my floor. Gross. With my head still pounding from crying so
much, I walked over to my bathroom and searched for a used towel
and washcloth. I dumped a little too much shampoo onto the damp
cloth. I walked back into my room teetering a bit as I walked. Some
ibuprofen would be good about now. I thought as I bent down and
scrubbed up the vomit. Using the towel to dry my floor I felt
satisfied that I hadn’t done any real damage to the wood. It’s not
like I have super acid for stomach bile.

I walked back to my bathroom one last time
and searched grudgingly through my medicine cabinet for some
headache medicine. After popping a few in my mouth I tried drowning
the pills, along with the dry lump that seemed to stick in my
throat, with water. The lump wasn’t so easily killed.

My mom was sitting at the kitchen table with
Will, each staring into their cups of coffee, when I descended a
moment later. For a minute I wondered if I should intrude. Will
answered my thought with a quick glance my direction and a “Hey
Sophie. Your mom could use some more company.”

I sat down at the seat closest to her and put
my hand in hers. She looked older; as if she had just aged about
ten years in the last day. Her sad grey eyes were distant and
vacant even though she was looking right at me. I wanted to say
something but I couldn't. All use of language escaped me as I
studied her face.

“Most everyone is still up. Kylin hasn’t left
my side until just a bit ago. He is in the pantry getting something
for me to eat. Thomas, Ethan, and Tristan have been outside all
night building Gavin’s...” Her voice broke off mid-breath. I looked
to Will for some clarification.

He sighed heavily. “Gavin’s pyre, honey. He’s
to be burned before morning. They have been working to build it in
that clearing near the creek. We’re going to gather around four
a.m. I was going to wake you soon if you hadn’t come down.”

“Oh” was all I could manage to say. Gavin’s
funeral pyre. I pulled out my cell phone from my jeans pocket. One
a.m.

Kylin walked in and sat a bowl of soup and a
biscuit down in front of my mom. “Thank you, sweetie. I really
appreciate this.” Mom said as she picked up the spoon Kylin had
lain in the bowl. I watched the three of them despairingly. I had
so many questions but how could I ask them at this moment? A
depressing calm seemed to penetrate every pore of those around me.
Did I dare disturb that?

Will must have caught my expression because
he bobbed his head toward the front door. As he closed the door
behind us, he stole a quick peak around the very dark yard. “You
have been asleep and nobody wanted to disturb you.”

“Will what happened?”

“Granddad and Daniel came back from patrol
and everything seemed fine so Gavin left.” His expression morphed
from one of heartbreak to something darker. “Gavin was gone an
extraordinarily long time. Almost two hours to be specific. Your
mom was already a nervous wreck and when Gavin didn’t come home, I
decided to go search for him. Granddad and I went together thinking
it would be safer with two of us. But as we closed in on Gavin we
were forced to hide in the brambles because Granddad caught the
scent of several humans. Hunters. Gavin had been cornered. We
wanted to fight but there were too many of them with guns. We
watched him fall.”

“How….what…” I stammered. “That makes no
sense. He would never allow himself to be compromised like
that.”

“That’s not all Sophie. After they shot him,
they just left. Walked off like it was nothing. Poachers wouldn’t
have done that. They would have taken the wolf.”

My mind reeled as I tried to imagine the
scene. Gavin as his wolf….it would have given him the best chance
of catching a scent. More than in human form. But how would hunters
know where to find him? And why didn’t they take his wolf? What is
going on?

“And,” Will ran a hand through his salt and
pepper hair. “when we reached him, Granddad picked up a very fresh
scent in the area. It was most definitely werewolf but not one he’d
smelled before. It covered a good area and was no more than a few
minutes old when we got to Gavin.”

Will took my hand in his. “You should also
know he was still alive but only just. He had enough energy in him
to shift back when he saw us. He died in my arms.”

Jaime’s text message vibrated the phone in my
pocket causing me to startle violently. U r not answering ur phone.
Is Gavin back? Did he find anything?

“Is that Jaime?”

“Yeah.” I glanced at my phone again. “I might
go over to his place. Just for a little while. I need to process
all of this.” I wrapped my arms around Will and held him close.
“Thank you. And I’m grateful that you were there when he passed.
It’s comforting to know he wasn’t alone.” My swollen and
bruised-feeling eyes burned with renewed emotion. “I’ll be back for
the….” I never finished my sentence.

~Reminiscences~

“It’s about time you called me back. I’ve
been worried about you.” Jaime answered my call.

“I’m d-d-driving ov-ver.” I sobbed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Gavin’s dead.” There was no response. I
pulled the car over because another flood of tears blurred my
vision. The dry lump returned with a vengeance and it was all I
could do just to breathe.

“Where are you? I’m coming to get you.”

“I’m p-pulled over al-long Route 6. I’m
n-near the c-country club.”

“Don’t move. I’m on my way.” Click. I leaned
my head against the steering wheel and waited.

Before long headlights came around the bend.
I looked up and watched as Jaime passed by to make a quick u-turn
in the road and pulled up behind my car. I turned off my engine and
stepped out.

Jaime walked up to me, an old white tee-shirt
in his hands. “I’ll put this in the window. Why don’t you get in
the Jeep?” I barely nodded and got into his vehicle. We didn’t
speak on the way to his apartment. I just couldn’t bring myself to
speak and I figured he didn’t want to ask me to until I was ready.
Despite sleeping for several hours, I felt extremely tired curling
up on his couch. Jaime made me cup of tea and sat down next to me.
He brushed my hair aside and waited patiently for me to speak. When
I felt like I could talk without crying again I started talking
about Gavin. I described the scene in which I first learned of my
brother’s death followed by everything Will had just told me.

“I’m so sorry Sophie.” He murmured.

“I just don’t understand how this could
happen. Gavin isn’t a pup.” My word caught somewhere between my
chest and my throat. “I mean, Gavin wasn’t a pup. He was a strong
Alpha with instincts that bordered on the preternatural. Why, or
how, could he have been compromised like that?”

I studied Jaime’s face. He wanted desperately
to have comforting words for me but there were none.

“We’re gathering around four a.m. for Gavin’s
pyre.” This thought brought me back to an emptier space of
reality.

Jaime shook his head, confused. “Gavin’s
what?”

“Gavin’s funeral pyre. We burn our kind
because we can’t leave traces. Thomas, Tristan, and Ethan have been
working all night on building Gavin’s pyre mound. We have a
ceremony, too though I can’t remember the last one I went to
because my biological father was killed when I was only a year and
a half. I don’t know how my mom is dealing with this again.”

“You never mentioned that before. About your
father, I mean.”

“Yeah, he was killed by poachers. Apparently,
we make great trophies.” I said emoting such bitterness that Jaime
sat up a little, clearly shocked at the term being applied to me
and my family.

“I never considered that before. That worries
me, the idea that you could be hunted for sport.” A very dark look
crossed his face.

“It’s not just for sport, Jaime. There were
periods of time in which my kind were close to being wiped out.” I
took a few long, deep breaths to calm myself so as to not lose it
as I spoke. “The last time was when my Granddad was a small child.”
Jaime’s face looked a little pale. I turned away from him and
stared out the window to my left. I felt his fingers brush softly
against my cheek. I sighed again. “I want you to hear this. You
need to understand.”

I started speaking again without looking at
him. I wasn’t sure if I could tell Jaime any more without crying if
I had to look into his kind eyes. It was just too easy to let my
guard down around him. And I hated him seeing me cry.

“When my granddad was really little, around 4
or 5, a war began between humans and werewolves somewhere around
the Nantahala National Forest in North Carolina. I just found out
the Blood Wars began when a human man sired children with a female
of wolfkind. After discovering what his children were, he killed
them along with their mother. I guess he used the proof of our
kind’s existence to gather others to his cause. They formed an
underground militia of a few hundred hunters and basically wiped
out all but a few of our kind who had managed to escape. Some ran
out west to the Rockies, some went out the Southwest, and some ran
up north. But the humans followed. More secret militias formed and
more werewolves were killed. I still don’t understand how they
managed to fight and win against my kind. Not every werewolf is
huge like Gavin but we are extremely strong and fast. I guess they
found a way, though.” I took a few more deep breaths to help me
stay calm.

“Unrelated packs don’t fight together; not
usually. But once the fighting spread to other places, they had to.
It was fight together or die. But in the end, it was futile. Our
numbers were decimated. The fighting had only lasted a few years
but by the time it stopped, most of our kind was killed and not
just in one or two states, I’m talking all across the U.S.” I
shifted my eyes from the window to the floor in front of me. I
still couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

“Our kind doesn’t live in cities. We roam
areas with large spans of forest; places like national parks, state
forests, and game preserves. This knowledge made it even easier to
track us down without raising suspicion among the human
population.” I leaned back on the couch. “But then again, if we
lived in the cities, no one would ever know who we are.” I
paused.