Read Disillusion Meets Delight Online
Authors: Leah Battaglio
“Nat, you aren’t lying to her, you simply have not disclosed all of your information. I’ll call her later on and see if she wants to come over. I would bring a bottle of wine, but I think I’m going to have to sit that out for a while. My head feels like shit. So, do you know what you’re wearing?”
“No, not really. I’m so nervous, I can’t decide. Nothing looks right or feels right or seems appropriate. I think I need to go shopping.”
“Good lord, Natalie you certainly master the art of procrastination don’t you.”
“Well, the party doesn’t start until 7 so I have some time. I think deep down, I just don’t want to go. It’s kind of difficult to get excited about something that makes you want to vomit, you know.” Although, it does give me an excuse to go shopping.
“Understandable. I would go shopping with you but if I’m going to come over later, I need to do some studying. So, how about I come over around 5 tonight? I’ll talk to Jenna to see what she has going on. Don’t worry Nat, it’s going to be fine.” Mya’s calm demeanor made me want to believe everything was hunky dory but the closer everything came, the more worried I became. There was so much opportunity for disaster.
Since I had a lot of things to do, I figured that I should do some housework to put it off a little bit longer. So, I mopped the floors, scrubbed the bathtub, cleaned out the litter box, wiped down the cupboards and polished the table. Unfortunately, that only took about 2 hours. Towards the end of my cleaning spree, I remembered that Jake called me last night. What was I going to do about Jake? Crap. I suppose, it wouldn’t hurt to call him back at least. That would be the proper thing to do, especially since I still wanted to have overpriced bra and panties relations with him. It’s been a while, okay?
Calling guys always makes me nervous. I find that if I call when I’m doing something distracting, such as driving, shopping etc. then I forget that I’m nervous. Plus, he will know that I am a busy woman, always on the go and not sitting at home like a loser waiting for his call. Brilliant plan if I do say so myself. So, after finally getting my act together, I make myself look like an active member of society and venture to the mall.
Why is it, that when you don’t need something everything is at your disposal, but when you need to find a fabulous dress that makes you look hot, everything either makes you look like a cow or is more than your car payment? Since I don’t feel like compromising my looks for this event I will have to compromise my finances. I blame my mother for this.
I attempted to contact Jake while shopping but simply got his voicemail, which is fine by me. Although I would like to talk to him, I am rather distressed and could possibly come across as a bit of a basket case. It’s far too early to let my true colors shine. So, I left a casual message saying hello. I must say that he has always been prompt when returning my calls because it could not have been more than half an hour that I called him, when he returned my call.
“I was stoked you called me back Natalie. So, what’s going on? I thought maybe I could take you to dinner or something.” I could sense some hesitation in his tone, as though he wanted to appear confident but not enough to piss me off. After all, he did have some other poor dummy call to cancel his date with me. He owes me a fine dinner with lots of wine.
“I would love to get dinner but I have an engagement party that I’m invited to. It’s going to be dreadfully boring but I am cordially obliged to be there. Friends of the family, you know how it is.” I say as I pack my bags up into the trunk while holding my cell phone. Not an easy task since I have yet to buy the handy earpiece that everyone else has realized is far easier than being a contortionist.
“That sounds like good times. Do you need a date?” Oh, awkward moment approaching.
“Actually, I have a date. It was kind of last minute. I would have asked you but…”
“But I flaked on you instead. Yeah, I suck. Well, what are your plans next Friday? I still owe you dinner and I don’t take no for an answer.”
“Friday is free and I would love to have dinner.” Maybe it was his self-deprivation or confidence. Not sure but whatever it was, it made me intrigued and very willing to give him a chance. Besides, if I do recall correctly, he smells great and looks like Ben Affleck. I’d be crazy to not at least let him get me a little bit drunk. Maybe I should go back to Victoria’s Secret.
It was the eventful Saturday that Ian had either been dreading or looking forward to, he had not yet confirmed his emotion. He knew that despite the aggravation Natalie typically caused, he liked her. She was interesting to him and he felt that he wanted to get to know her more. Since his tempest of a relationship with the wicked Marla Bracknelle, he had very little interest in partaking in petty arguments and confrontations. Natalie was different somehow. Granted, he knew very little of her, but instinctively, Ian knew that Natalie was everything that Marla Bracknelle could never be, even if she wanted.
Ian still felt some apprehension considering Natalie’s involvement (or lack thereof) with Jake. The apprehension quickly turned into self-loathing when funnily enough, Jake called to invite him out.
“So I asked Natalie out but she’s going out with some other guy tonight. Whatever. So, are we going out tonight or what? I need to have some fun. Austin kicked my ass. I don’t think I’ve ever worked so hard.”
“I would buddy but I can’t. I kind of already have plans.” Ian really did not want to elaborate any more than necessary. He felt like a heel but preferred disclosure versus the wrath of a pissed off co-worker and friend.
“Plans? What kind of plans? What could be more important than spending quality time at the bar with Jake Miles and Jim Beam, I ask you.”
“I, er, have some stuff I have to do for Maggie. She’s er, got this project with school and I said I would help.” Lying was never a strong point for Ian.
“What? Jesus, if I didn’t love myself, I would start to take this personally. Alright bro, I’ll see you on Monday. But dude, don’t forget that I have a mission to get you laid. I will not have a friend of mine being deprived of sex. When people don’t get sex, people get crabby and annoying and since you are a co-worker, it is my duty to make sure that you aren’t crabby or annoying. You getting laid is in everyone’s best interest.”
“I’m touched, really Jake. Have a good weekend and I will see you on Monday. I can assure you that I will not be crabby or annoying.” He should really be offended by Jake but under the circumstances and his knowledge of Jake it wasn’t worth it. Ian knew he meant well but sometimes had a distorted idea of what happiness really entails, at least in Ian’s life. Jake was happy with body shots and blonde bombshells whereas Ian preferred mysterious brunettes and dark restaurants. Somehow the two guys met somewhere in the middle and could actually be friends. Which was why Ian was so troubled with his fascination with Natalie. Maggie however thought the whole affair was fabulous and something that could have fallen right out of one of her teen angst movies.
“Ian I still cannot believe that you are going out on a date with the video store girl! It is so meant to be. But I don’t know why you feel that I need a babysitter. I am
so
old enough to stay at home alone Ian.” Maggie stated as she rolled her eyes.
“Oh Maggie it’ll be fine. Jenna is actually really cool. You’ll like her. In fact she will be here in a bit which means I need to get ready. Shit, I need to get in the shower.” Panic set in as Ian realized that he had done nothing to prepare and time was running out fast.
“Ian calm down. You act like you’ve never gone on a date before! I laid your clothes out on your bed. Since it is an evening affair, but not formal, I chose the charcoal gray turtleneck with the black jacket. Now, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to wear the black pants from Banana Republic with this belt or the black pants from Ralph Lauren with this belt. Whichever pants you choose though, you have to wear the new Cole Haan shoes.” Maggie said with complete seriousness.
“Well Maggie, yet again, you never cease to amaze me. Obviously, letting you read my GQ was the right decision. Now, the final question: Cologne or no cologne?”
“I would go with the scented body wash and leave it at that tonight. You will be in a crowd of people. Cologne may cause problems.”
So, after his fashion lesson 101 with the little sis, Ian was much calmer and looking forward to picking up his lovely date. Forget guilt and apprehension. It was time that Ian began living for himself and going for what he wanted. It was time he found out just what the video store girl was all about.
I got home from shopping around 3 which gave me plenty of time to get ready. I was kind of tired and really felt like taking a nap, but knew if I did that there was a strong possibility of not wanting to get up until tomorrow. Consequently, I decided to do some Pilates to ease my tension and hopped in the shower. I tried to calm my nerves with my aromatherapy shower gel and candles but to my dismay, the lavender and chamomile scent did nothing. I was still a basket case with an army of butterflies dancing in my stomach.
I think the problem is that there are so many things for me to be nervous about. Although I knew this date with Ian wasn’t a real date, it still came with all the apprehensions of a real date. I still wanted to look good and have a nice time. I had to because I would be pretending to all of my mother’s friends that we were madly in love. I had no idea how I could pull off a convincing performance. I was so embarrassed that Ian knew nothing of this and that I would have to prep him on the way to the party. Any pre-conceived notions that I was crazy would be confirmed in five minutes of hanging out with me.
Luckily, I did find a really nice dress. I am quite fond of black, for many reasons but when I saw my dress, I knew it was the one. It was a mid length deep burgundy color with v-neck that held my boobs in perfect position. The tie at the waist accented my hourglass shape with a skirt that moved beautifully when I walked. My mother will be so proud that I stepped out in color. She is always lecturing me that wearing so much black makes people think I am in eternal mourning. I tell her I am, for all the people who think that it is still okay to wear socks with their sandals. She rolls her eyes and tells me I am a loss cause. I laugh and tell her that she should just feel fortunate that I don’t wear socks with my sandals.
When Mya came over, I was in the middle of doing my hair and having a terrible time deciding if I should wear it down or have it pulled back. My friends and I always battle because I am infamous for wearing my hair back. I just think it is easier that way because by the end of the night, my volume laden bouncy do falls flat and frizzy and looks like crap. Jenna and Mya think I’m crazy though and tell me it looks sexier if I wear it down. Such dilemmas of a young woman never make me question that I Natalie Everett am at rare occasions, well somewhat superficial.
“Well, I suppose we should look at your dress first. Why don’t you put it on really quick? I haven’t seen it yet anyway. Did you get shoes too? Oh, Natalie, it’s beautiful. You are going to be the prettiest girl there and that Ian guy will be at a loss for words.” Mya looked like a proud mom the night of her daughter’s prom.
“Are you sure? I was nervous making such an important decision all by myself but it is perfect isn’t it?” I ask, twirling around like a giddy young girl.
“You know Natalie, normally I would say to wear your hair down but tonight, we should put it in a sleek low ponytail. It’s simple and elegant and it will bring more attention to your ample bosom.”
“Mya, I would prefer that attention was not drawn to my ampleness if you don’t mind!” I respond with embarrassment.
“Woman, you are crazy. If you have them, show them. I for one am jealous. Do you think men are impressed when they think they’re getting a handful and instead get a pinch? We may be able to reel them in with the push up bra but it’s false advertising really, isn’t it?”
“Oh my, I suppose! I’ll try to remember that the next time I go jogging. Speaking of jogging, did you talk to Jenna? Is she coming over?” For a brief moment, I forgot the whole mess of which I was drowning in.
“I did talk to her but she can’t come. Apparently she is hanging out with Ian’s little sister while he goes out with you.” Mya says with a raised eyebrow and dying to tell me more.
“What? Who?” I ask with confusion. I guess I shouldn’t be confused because I know nothing of him except that he likes pizza and 80’s teen movies. Oh, isn’t it funny how things can suddenly make far more sense with just a little bit of help?