Read Disillusion Meets Delight Online
Authors: Leah Battaglio
“Okay, apparently, Ian has a little sister. She is like 13 or 14 but Ian is her sole guardian and doesn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone I guess. So, Jenna told him she would go hang out with her so he would go with you to the party. I have to say Natalie, it is impressive to see a guy his age taking on the responsibility of a teenage girl. No wonder he is so crabby!” She says with a laugh.
“Well regardless of his situation, it doesn’t give him the right to be a pompous ass to a complete stranger. I have stresses and stressors in my life but I choose to be cordial and pleasant.” I say with perfect posture and chin raised to the ceiling.
“Oh yeah right. Who are you talking to here? When the Magda woman pisses you off you are a bitch for the whole day. By the way, how’s it going being the newly appointed supervisor? Have you killed anyone yet?”
“No, not yet but there is still time. I have to get a new job Mya. I cannot spend my existence in a place that is run by a woman that knows nothing of her company but seems to think she has the right to tell me how it should all take place.” My nostrils begin to flare and my temperature rises.
Just thinking of Magda Rubin-Allen makes me angry. I hate the woman. She strides through the halls with her fancy clothes and Kate Spade iPhone case like she rules the world. If she feels like it, she will talk to you and asks how things are going when she could actually care less. I am absolutely dreading work on Monday because I have my weekly follow up meeting with her regarding all of our great new plans to destroy the department even further! Whenever a boss says the word “restructure” it actually means destruction. But right now, I cannot even worry about work and Magda Rubin-Allen. Right now, I need to focus on the current matters at hand. One crisis at a time I always say.
“Okay my dear. You look marvelous. Ian should be here anytime so I am going to mosey on out of here. Don’t worry okay, you look beautiful. Tonight will be fine. Hmm…I would maybe do your best to avoid the future bride and groom if at all possible to avoid any, er, nauseating moments. We also don’t need you doing any karate chops on him either!” Mya says with a nervous laugh.
“See you later Sylvester! Let me know what you think of Ian!” Sylvester responds with a meow and nod. My cat talks on a frequent basis. We don’t ever know for sure what he says, of course because we do not speak feline but he is quite the communicator nevertheless.
So now, I wait in anticipation for my horrific night to begin. I wait for Ian to come and pick me up where mere minutes seem like days and fear of the unknown becomes trepidation of reality.
As I very nearly wear out the channel buttons on my TV remote, a noise approaches from outside. It is the sound of an engine just winding down from its journey. Within seconds a car door shuts and footsteps pound up the apartment stairs, nearing my front door. As though it were possible, my heart beats faster and my head feels somewhat faint.
Ding Dong
. Okay this is where you have to answer the door woman.
Ding Dong.
The door bell chimes again and I am quite sure that if I don’t answer my door soon Ian will most definitely think I am indeed, well, fairly odd. I take one quick glance at the oval mirror next to the door, along with a deep breath and bearing false confidence, I open the door to greet my suitor for the night.
Much to my surprise, Ian did not appear in devil horns with a gold medallion sweeping over his hairy chest. If fact, as much as I hate to admit it, he looked quite handsome. I have a weakness for a man in a turtleneck and Ian filled this one out quite nicely. His shoes were well polished and matched the belt that held up the well tailored slacks. He must have sensed my evaluation process since I failed to say a single word for several seconds after opening the door to greet him.
“I hope that I am dressed appropriately. Jenna told me that it wasn’t formal but to look nice so I took a shot at this.” He said apprehensively.
“Oh I’m sorry. No, you look really nice, er, Ian. You know, although we’ve already met, I can’t help but feel that I should introduce myself again. I’m Natalie, Natalie Everett.” As I reach out my hand I hope and pray that it is the one thing on my body that has not drowned itself in nervous perspiration.
“You know you’re right. Maybe we should start off fresh. It’s nice to finally meet you Natalie. I am Ian O’Reilly. And I must say that you look beautiful.”
For the first time in the whole day I actually felt calm after Ian made that compliment. Although he has driven me mad on several occasions, tonight seemed to show another side of my nemesis. He appeared sincere and humble. I was looking forward to what the night may have to offer. Of course, my serenity did not last after I remembered that there was the small but rather important detail that Ian and I were to soon be introduced as true loves.
Ian held the door for me to get into his SUV that just happened to be a dashing black Land Rover Discovery. Of course my nemesis would have my dream car. That’s just perfect isn’t it? Is there a chocolate Lab somewhere in the back?
I knew that it would not take long to arrive at the Wellington home so if I was to prepare Ian, I had best start now.
“Ian, um, there is one thing that Jenna forgot to tell you I think. You see, well, my mother kind of told Jan Wellington, the mother of the bride, that I would be bringing, well, my somewhat, quite, very serious boyfriend to the engagement party. I thought you should know since we will be there in approximately 23 minutes give or take a few. If we’re lucky, traffic may be bad on 217 and that will give us more time to prep.” I say with a cringe and am fairly certain that Ian will be prepared to pull over and drop me off on any random street in Beaverton.
“Okay, well it’s not going to take
that
long to get to Lake Oswego so we should get our facts down. Basic question everyone will ask, how did we meet?” I am rather surprised at his acceptance and also somewhat annoyed that he doesn’t think I know how long it takes to get from Beaverton to Lake Oswego. Who’s lived here longer, him or me? Oh yes, focus, I know.
“I thought of that. I think we should say we met through mutual friends about 6 months ago and leave it at that.” Unable to sleep last night I went through the scenarios instead of counting sheep.
“Yeah, but don’t you know some of these people? What if they ask
who
you met me through?” I’ve spent less than ten minutes with him and he’s already driving me nuts. Can he agree with anything I say??
“Actually, I don’t really know them all that well. My mother is more friends with them than me. But, to cover our bases, we can say it was through my friend Laura from work.”
“Okay, we met through your friend Laura. Good. Now, what is your mother’s name?” Finally, some agreement!
“My mother’s name is Caroline Everett. Oh crap! I forgot to tell my mother I was bringing you! Oh god I hope she hasn’t made up a new story because I told her the other day that I wasn’t bringing anyone.” I scramble in my purse to find my cell phone and hope and pray that my mother has not reached the party yet. Perhaps I should have decided to be religious before tonight. Oh well, you have to start somewhere, right?
“Natalie darling, is that you? I’m just about to reach Jan’s now. I was surprised that you did not call me. What are you wearing darling?”
“Mother, listen to me. This is very important. I am bringing someone with me. His name is Ian O’Reilly and we met through a friend from work. Okay? He’s originally from Washington D.C. and he, hang on mom.”
“Ian, what do you do for a living?” I whisper, realizing that I had no idea even what his occupation was.
“I do marketing for a high tech firm.” Ian whispers back.
“Mom? Ian is in marketing. Okay, do you have all that? Please don’t get into any details and try not to talk about us if you can help it.” I advise knowing full well that by the end of the night the other guests will have heard that we actually met on an African safari and Ian saved me from a herd of wild antelope.
“Darling, is he there? I must speak with him. Be a dear and put him on the phone will you?”
“Mother, is that really necessary?” I ask cringing.
“Of course it is necessary. How am I to pretend all of this if I have not so much as heard his voice? Honestly Natalie, do you want this to work?” I pierce my lips together, and let in a good healthy inhale exhale.
“Ian, my mother would like to speak with you.” I say in a calm tone considering I am ready to absolutely go mad. I extend my phone to Ian who seems fully prepared to speak to my mother.
“Caroline? It is lovely to finally get to speak with you.” Who is this guy? What happened to humble and apprehensive? Is he schmoozing my mother? And furthermore, what man says
lovely
?
“Ian? Is that you? Darling, will you tell my daughter to calm down. I don’t know if you have noticed but she does get herself in a bit of a wind up every now and then.”
The two have a nice chat as I stare out the window and wonder what in the world I have gotten myself into. My nemesis and my mother are getting along famously and I am about to enter the shark pit.
Jenna was looking forward to hanging out with Ian’s little sister, Maggie. She came from a family that included four older brothers. When she was small, they would play games with her such as “Hide Jenna in the Kitchen Pantry” and “Launch Jenna from the Wheel Barrow.” Needless to say, being the youngest child and growing up as a female with four rambunctious brothers was a challenge. It forced her to be fast, quick witted and to never be a crier, unless, mom was around of course. An instant trail of crocodile tears was often necessary to get her mother to take pity and put her brothers in their rooms, for a short time anyway. But Jenna learned early in life to never let a man see her cry. It showed weakness and once a girl let down her guard to display her full emotions, a man had complete control.
Although Jenna loved the idea of being in love, it was difficult for her to actually find it. Natalie and Mya continuously told her she had no problems finding love because she had more dates than the two of them combined. This was true of course. Jenna could get a man to buy her drinks in bars, coffee in cafes and roses on the street with no more effort than an alluring smile. So, finding a weekend date was no problem. Unfortunately, as usual, it was quality not quantity and very few of her dates became repeats. In fact, Jenna had gone on seven forgettable dates before she met Rob Alexander. He was a real estate agent that she met while taking the children to Under 5 Yoga class at the health club. He walked out of the men’s changing room glistening from his previous shower. He had beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes that instantly fixed themselves on Jenna. Ken had met Barbie.
They sat in the club’s restaurant and talked while Jenna waited for the children to finish class. This was not any ordinary health club. It sat on a small hill downtown in the Goose Hollow district where only the rich and important had enough money to join. Membership dues were in the thousands and the only vehicles that exited the private parking garage were those of the Mercedes and Range Rover type. Jenna thoroughly enjoyed the fact that she was a nanny for two very rich parents. They paid for her to be a member to the club as well, which was just one of the many perks to being their employee. It was difficult to justify going back to college when she made as much money as her “educated” friends, traveled on European family vacations and met handsome, successful men while on the clock. Although, Jenna knew that being a nanny was not intellectually challenging and she owed it to herself to get the degree anyway, eventually.
Conversation over coffee turned into dinner that night and by the second date, Jenna knew that Rob was the man for her, despite the fact that he was often times unavailable due to his busy schedule.
Although she didn’t see him as much as she wanted, Rob always called to see how she was. He was a bit on the jealous side which was why Jenna made a conscious decision not to tell Rob her running partner was a man. Jenna liked hanging out with Ian and knew that it was strictly platonic. Ian didn’t know a lot of people in Portland and Jenna felt that it was healthy to have a male friend that was, well, just a friend. She also knew that he was the perfect match for Natalie. Coming over to stay with Maggie was in everyone’s best interests. Natalie and Ian got to go out on a real date and Jenna had the chance to play big sister for once.
“So Maggie, do you have a boyfriend at school?” Jenna asked while painting her little toe with Maggie’s Wet and Wild polish.