Desired Affliction (2 page)

“Rad, dude you’re up man,” Mr. Sexy yelled in our
direction causing me to look up and connect with him. Holy shit no way…Kole. It
couldn’t be him, “Megan do you know who that is...do you know that guy’s name?”
She looked at me and then back to him, “Yeah his name is Kole…why do you know
him?” I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe. I needed space…and a lot of it.
What I really need is another beer or something stronger.

I found a group of people doing shots in the kitchen and
I squeeze my way in to join them.

One

Two

Three…

The shots were going down smooth.

I was feeling fuzzy and a little numb. This was more like
it I could do this now…

I was feeling the music…

I was losing myself like I always do. There were hands on
me running across my stomach and down my thigh. Someone began grinding against
me from behind. I felt so foggy and dazed. I was numb to the sense of any panic
and just went with the feeling of being touched.

I had no idea who this guy was but at this point I didn’t
give a shit. I just let it happen. He had his hand under the hem of my shirt as
he raised it up closer to my breast. I let my head fall back to rest on his
chest. He brushed my hair away from my neck and brought his mouth to my ear,
“Do you wanna go upstairs…just you and me?” He traced his tongue down my neck
and onto my shoulder as he continued to caress my body waiting for me to
respond.

(Lexi)

“Meg…babe what’s wrong?” Radley was concerned as Megan
continued to  stare in my direction watching and waiting until she would
need to intervene. “I can’t let that right there go any further,” she pointed
at me as his eyes found us on the dance floor. “You want me to scare off
Zack…he is pretty persuasive if you don’t watch him he’ll have her upstairs in
the next five minutes?” Before she could respond Kole ran up and lifted Radley
over his shoulder and carried him off to the keg chanting something about
chug…chug.

Megan continued to stand in the doorway watching closely.
If Zack made one attempt to drag me toward the stairs she was moving in. Radley
was now upside down chugging from the keg tap as the surrounding brothers
chanted his name. Megan turned to get a glimpse of him and quickly back to Zack
just in time to see him pulling me to the steps. She moved in our direction
quickly, “Yeah, I don’t think so Romeo…find another victim…Lexi come on.” She
grabbed my hand pulling me toward her and wrapped her arm around my waist. “Hey
hottie, you are more than welcome to join us…I was just taking your girl her
upstairs for a little more one on one…but I could sure go for two on one. I can
give you both what you need,” Zack reached out and gripped Megan’s ass pulling
her to him. She shoved against his chest as I felt her struggle next to me and
I noticed what he was doing to her. Before I could say anything I seen Zack’s
head go flying back as Radley’s fist connected with the side of his face.

“What the fuck Rad,” Zack yelled as he shook his head.
“Keep your hands off my girl unless you want to be pissing out your fucking
nose man,” Zack backed away with his hands held up in surrender. “Sorry man I
didn’t know she was your girl. We were dancing and she agreed to go upstairs
with me. I had no idea man…she didn’t say she was your girl,” Radley pulled
both Megan and me toward him. Just then Kole walked up next to us. I wanted to
walk away so I could avoid him but my head was spinning from the alcohol. I was
leaning into Radley and he was struggling to hold me up while holding Megan
close to his chest.  Kole noticed Radley’s struggle and reached out to
wrap his arm around my waist, “Zack hitting on Rad’s girl or her friend here
probably isn’t smart? Right now I would have to say its’ best if you leave them
both alone or I may just let Radley take you out back and beat your ass.” Zack
backed away slowly, “Sorry Rad I didn’t mean to offend ya bud...I had no idea
they were with you.”

My head was still spinning. I really should have stopped
after the second shot or maybe it was the continuous beer I chugged and
refilled. I felt myself being guided to the other side of the room where I was
then lowered down onto a chair. Kole came around in front of me and knelt down
directly between my knees. “Hey are you going to be alright?” I looked up
connecting with his gorgeous brown eyes. The way his faced changed at that
moment was enough to make me want to hide but I knew I would just fall on my
face. He wrinkled up his eyebrows, “Lexi…what the hell. Lexi Warren, wow you
look so different.” I tried to smile without looking like some nut job, “Yeah I
bet I do…I grew up Kole I’m not Twelve anymore.”

Megan put her hand on my shoulder, “Hey sweetie I think
we should go back to the dorm you ready.” I looked up at her and I knew I had
to get out of there because my eyes had filled with tears and any moment those
tears were going to spill over. I heard Kole ask her if she needed help getting
me to the car but she told him she had it and she did with the help of Radley.
Once they got me to the car I felt better like I could breathe freely.

I wasn’t sure how she did it but she got me upstairs once
we reached the dorm and I was now lowering myself down onto my bed. She sat
directly across from me and reached out to take my hand into hers, “What
happened tonight Lexi? You were fine…I mean yes you were drinking but slowly.
We walked into the back room and it was like you flipped the switch and you
felt the need to binge drink…Why?” When I looked up into her eyes I tried to
blink back the tears, “Kole…I seen Kole and I remembered him from when our moms
were friends. He was always so nice to me. I had a little crush on him back
then… Kole is Matt’s cousin…it just brought it all back and I suddenly felt
like I was suffocating.” She came forward and wrapped me into her embrace,
“Matt is not here…you don’t have to see him. He is in California and he is not
going to hurt you again. Kole…he is not Matt.”

After I cried into her shoulder and eventually was able
to steady my breathing I sat up. I dried my eyes and stood to change, “I know
Kole isn’t Matt…they are nothing alike but it was just too much when I didn’t
expect it to be ya know. Kole is a reminder of who I used to be. The girl
before everything changed…the one that actually felt like life meant
something.”

We fell asleep in a silence as my mind wondered back to
that graduation party when it all fell apart. I could feel him as he held me
down and I was so drunk it took me a minute to realize what was happening. I
tried to get up but he just pushed against me harder. I could feel his hands
grip my hip under my skirt to slide me closer. I tried to scream out but he put
his hand over my mouth and then I felt him shove into me as the tears spilled
over and ran down my cheeks. “No…get off me…no stop STOP!” Megan climbed into
my bed and whispered to calm me, “Shh Lex, you’re okay honey. I’m here…your
safe.” I calmed within her embrace as she rubbed my hair and rocked me until I
finally drifted back to sleep.

(Kole)

“Shh…Hope stop fucking yelling…just be quiet,” I don’t
know what it was but every single time she opened her mouth I wanted to put the
pillow over her face. It was taking everything for me stay hard right now. I
just wanted to get it over with. Maybe it was the alcohol but I couldn’t get my
mind in the game. “Kole yes…harder. Fuck me harder,” there she goes again. SHUT
THE FUCK UP…maybe she was just to easy now. I don’t know what the hell is up
with me I just can’t get into it. I faked the fucking orgasm just to get out of
this torture. “I wasn’t done yet Kole!” There she goes fucking whining.

“Well I was…you need to get going anyway its’ late and I
need a shower.” I got up and slipped on my shorts. I ignored Hope complaining
to me as I walked out the door.

Climbing into the shower I let the hot water run over me
and extended my hands out against the wall as I let it spray my face. I let my
thoughts wonder over the night…

The fact that Lexi kept popping into my mind was crazy. I
remember her being this young little sweet girl. She had a crush on me back
then and it was cute…but she sure as hell was not a little girl anymore. She
was fucking hot as hell and that body. Oh yeah that body was fucking nice…sweet
ass and perfect tits. Just the thought of her was getting me hard. What the
fuck…I couldn’t get my dick to work ten minutes ago but I think of Lexi and I
get hard as a rock.

I needed release and hell if this is what it took…then
I’ll go with it. I closed my eyes and pictured Lexi under me as I fuck her
sweetness. Damn…her perfect lips. I continue to stroke myself as I imagine her
tits bouncing with each thrust and before I knew it I explode. “Fuck…yeah,” my
toes curl and her face is still there. ‘Kole what the fuck you are not a that
guy’ I whisper to myself as a reminder.

When I make it back to my room Hope is still there. What
part of ‘go home’ didn’t she get. “Hope…get up you can’t stay here you know
that. I don’t let girls sleep in my bed. Come on…get up.” After a few minutes
and her pouting to me about sucking me off if I let her stay she finally left
the room. “Fine asshole…I will just go find another warm bed,” I laughed to
myself…like I fucking cared.

(Lexi)

Monday morning came entirely too soon. We spent most of
Sunday getting our room organized and everything put together. It was actually
starting to look like our own little space which gave me this weird sense of
security. We never talked about the nightmare I had but Megan already knew what
it was about so there really was no need to relive it.

I tried to focus on my classes and my schedule. Why I had
made Monday so crazy I was still trying to figure out…maybe it was my own
little way of telling myself to go light on the weekends.

After my last class was finished I was on my way back to
the dorm when my phone began to ring in my bag. As I dug around looking down I
walked right into the back of someone. “Damn it I…” I stopped midsentence once
I looked up into Kole’s dark eyes. Why did he have to look so freaking hot? He
smiled down at me, “Hey, you ran into me Sweetheart!” I couldn’t take my
attention off of his mouth as I caught a glimpse of something shiny on his
tongue when he talked...a tongue piercing. “No, um I’m so sorry I wasn’t
looking and…sorry,” I brushed passed him to continue toward my dorm. That was
embarrassing Lexi…stop drooling. When I finally found my phone I had already
missed the call. It was Megan…I started to dial her back when I was startled by
the strong hand that was resting on my shoulder. I spun quickly and jerked
away, “Oh hell I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” Kole held his hands up in
the air. I stood facing him holding my hand out defensively, “Its’ okay you
just surprised me.” I really just hated when people touched me I did not like
feeling someone’s hands on me unless I initiated it and I had control.

He stood facing me for a few more seconds before he
spoke, “Listen I just wanted to make sure you recovered. After the whole Zack
thing at the party Saturday and then you took off right after. I just never got
a chance to make sure you were okay. You were really messed up…is that like a
frequent thing?” Excuse me! A frequent thing well how in the hell was that any
of his damn business…what an asshole. “Wow was it your goal today to be a
Prick? For your information my business is just that…my business. Whether it is
frequent or the first time I have ever gotten drunk before it isn’t something I
need to explain to you or anyone else for that matter. Kole our moms were
friends a long time ago…it doesn’t make you my babysitter while I’m here. I can
take care of myself.” I walked off quickly without looking back.

When I finally made it to my room my phone rang again in
my hand…Megan shit I forgot to call her back. “Hello, sorry I meant to call you
back,” I heard some people in the background. “It’s okay I just wanted to tell
you I am over at the frat house with Radley…I was going to invite you to come
over.” Yeah right not happening, “Meg its’ okay really I am just going to pop
something in the microwave, take a quick shower and maybe watch a movie. I
don’t feel like going anywhere but thanks. Have fun porn star…enjoy your man
and don’t worry about me so much.” I heard her breath into the phone, “I always
worry about you Lex. I love you and I hate that you won’t let anyone in. You
need friends and you need to be able to have fun without drinking. I just wish
you would get to know people.” I bit my lower lip to hold back the tremble,
“Well I can’t Meg…I wish I could sometimes too but it is just too hard. If I
stay a step ahead than no one can take anything from me, the last time I
trusted someone enough to be with them…(I took a deep breath-shaking of the
memory)…I just can’t get that out of my head.”

She was silent for a minute, “Megan I am fine…please
enjoy your night.” She sounded so concerned, “Lexi not every guy is like Matt.
What he did to you was horrible but by you hiding…or the fact that you won’t
let yourself get close to any guy that is just you letting Matt win. He took
enough away from you don’t give him anymore…please.” I never responded I just
sat there waiting for her to say goodbye, “I love you Lexi, are you sure your
fine alone?” I took a moment to make my voice sound as steady as possible,
“Yep, I am more than fine…I have a date with Edward and Jacob…Twilight Marathon
starts in twenty minutes. See ya later babe.”

We ended our call but I had a feeling that I wasn’t able
to convince her…

(Megan)

Megan hung up her phone but still continued to hold it in
her hand and look at the screen. “Hey Babe, you okay…what happened?” Radley
brushed her hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “Nothing happened
I just worry about Lexi being by herself and I just wish I could convince her
to come over here.”