Backfire (16 page)

“Oh Mikey, but you didn’t, did you?  You walked away obviously.”

He took his baseball cap off and raked his hand through his hair.  “When I say really close, I mean that it was right at my lips.  And I walked away for now, but I gotta go back inside after I get done talking to you.  Lawton is my ride home and I don’t think he has any intention of leaving any time soon.”

“Call a cab,” she replied, her tone of voice changing from cheery to concerned.  “Good job on not taking a drink.  That’s really good, Mikey.”

“I don’t think they have cabs in this town.  I just needed to talk to someone who knows my problem.  I don’t really want these guys knowing.”

“I’m sure they’d understand if they did know though.”

Michael scoffed and began to pace behind a row of dumpsters.  “I’m not willing to take that chance.  We are side by side in this mess and I don’t want them thinking anything about not being able to trust me.”  Michael sighed and tried to compose his emotions.  “I appreciate you talking to me.  I’ll figure something out when I go back in.”

“Okay Mikey. I love you and I miss you.”

“Love you too, babe.  See you soon.”  He put the phone back in his pocket, closed his eyes, and braced himself for entering the bar environment again.  Everyone was still in the same corner with the same guys playing pool.  His glass was in the same exact spot he left it, staring back at him as an enemy that could take him down easily. 

“McGinnis, where’d you go? I think you should play winner of this game!”

“Sounds good, Lawton.” 

His plan was to just ignore the drink. Playing pool and getting involved with that would help him forget.  Lawton was already buzzing and Michael was sure he didn’t even remember ordering him a drink. He grabbed a pool stick, chalked up his hands, and began a game against two other men on the crew.  His nerves slowly relaxed and he actually had fun.  After a couple of games, he glanced at the table, and the waitress had already gathered up all of the stray glasses. 

Smiling to himself, he had felt a sense of satisfaction that he hadn’t in awhile.  He had defeated his urge to drink the bourbon while also keeping his problem a secret.  Along with that success, he felt he had started to develop a bond with everyone, and the camaraderie felt even stronger as they left the bar than it did just the few hours before they had come in. 

Chapter Twelve

The fires in Texas were
dominating the morning news down at the station house.  Reports about Governor Rick Perry cutting off aid to the volunteer firehouses were making headlines all over the country.  Eva stood in shock at all of the coverage and videos being posted, with reporters stating that thousands of acres, many homes, and tons of injuries were being tallied as they s
poke.  S
everal
people were being interviewed and
many
were
questioning if it was the end of the world.

“My state is burning! Our homes are burning. Why would Governor Perry do this to our volunteers when it’s what makes up most of what our state is protected by?” A woman cried and pleaded on camera, her tissue soaked as she tried to wipe the tears from her face. 

Many testimonials were played and Eva stood still, stoic, and in shock.  “Those poor people,” she replied, not even caring if anyone was around to hear her. 

“No kidding.”  Gregg was on the couch, watching the same thing she was.  “I bet it’s ten times worse to see in person.  What did it all look like?”

Eva sat down across from him, still keeping her eyes on the news.  She wasn’t sure why she was putting herself through the torture, but it was like when p
eople said not to look down. People still did
it.  “I really didn’t see the fires right up close and personal.  We weren’t in the path where I was.  It was more to the south of us and moving south.”

“But you were close, right?” Gregg asked as he tapped the remote control against the side of his head.  “Maybe we oughta turn this off.” 

“No, don’t.” Eva held her hand up.  “Don’t turn it off.  I’ll be fine.” She forced a smile. 

“You sure?” He arched his eyebrow.  “You haven’t taken your eyes off of it since you came in this morning.”

“I’m fine.  And to answer your questions, yes, we were close.  You could smell the smoke in the air and during certain parts of the day you could see the haze.  It was just so dry, like a spark from anything could just erupt
into
a flame big enough to do what you see on that TV right now.”  She looked back up at the news report that showed clips of fire trucks headed to and from the fire, wondering if Mikey had been in any of them.  “We went and visited a firehouse in this small town called Manor.  We could se
e a lot of the fire from there
and it was a good forty miles from the main area.”

Gregg shook his head in disbelief and sat forward.  “Freaking incredible.  I know they say wildfires are nature’s way of cleaning things up, but this is just downright insane.  I’ve been reading.  They said the state has been burning up since about April, all the way from the panhandle down to central Texas.  And what makes it worse is that their governor is cutting funds on the departments that most of the state makes up.  Pretty shitty if you ask me.”

“I had no idea he was doing that until this morning.  Mikey didn’t mention any of that to me when I talked to him last.”

“They just need a good rainstorm to come through and rain for days.” Gregg sat forward on the couch. “Speaking of McGinnis, how’s he doing? I know he’s been down there fo
r what, a week now doing it all?
”

Had it been a week?  Time was moving so slow, but at the same time so quickly.  The last time she had spoken to him was when he was having a problem at the bar.  A few days had passed and they had sent a few text messages back and forth to check in and that was the only communication they had really had.  Mikey had mentioned that they were pushing them, making them work sixteen hour days with minimal sleep, food, and water. 

“He’s doing pretty good, considering the situation.  He’s not real talkative about it, just that it’s painful
to force people away from
homes they know they won’t ever come back to.”

Gregg stared at her for a second, his face full of sorrow.  “Yeah, it’s one thing to get them out while the place is literally on fire. They usually have no problem in that situation.  I can see the problem with them having to leave before the place is ever burning.  Talk about some hard decisions.  How does a person decide what to take with them and what to leave?  I don’t think I could do it.”

“Me either.” 

“Not to mention that the majority of those guys have other jobs they have to juggle with.  My respect goes out to them.”

Eva shifted her weight in the chair and grimaced when images of burned up wildlife and livestock showed on the screen.  “That’s one of the main reasons Mikey stayed down there.  They are so short handed with it.  He just thought it was what he needed to do.  He was worried about abandoning you guys.”

Gregg smirked and took a sip out of his coffee mug.  “We are in no way hurting like they are.  Do we miss seeing him on the truck? Of course we do.  He’s the man I want beside me in a fire, making the decisions and taking on the belly of the beast.  But it seems Texas needed him worse right now.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Eva wished that people would actually tell Mikey that.  His worry
was
that no one was taking him seriously after his diagnosis with PTSD and having to be on medical leave.  Maybe after all of this he’d feel more accepted.  She could only hope something positive would come out of it all.

***

Michael was so tired that he could barely hold his eyes open.  They had been fighting fires well into the late evening hours, the main reason being that the winds seemed to dissipate more at night, helping them try to get some form of control over where the fire was burning.  The winds during the day were gusting up over forty miles per hour, frustrating any firefighting efforts being made to sway to flames away from heavily populated areas. 

He sat on the tailgate of Lawton’s truck and drank down tons of water, brought in by another auxiliary group that was going around and offering aid to anyone who needed it.   The water tasted so good and was so cold.  Sweat stung his eyes as he took his helmet off.  Everyone had caked soot and dirt all over their faces.  The whites of people’s eyes and their teeth were bright against the contrast on their skin.

All in all, Michael had been assigned as a search and rescue man since that was his expertise in New York.  He had not fought any fire with a hose.  He had learned quickly how to build firebreaks and ravines.  For the most part, civilians in the line of the fire were gone, having minded the evacuat
ion requirements put in place by
Bastrop County.  It was seldom that they did run across people too stubborn to comply, but once they came in, getting them to leave happened.  It was as if the actual presence of firefighters was a rude awakening that they truly were in danger, and that the local government wasn’t just overreacting. 

The company’s moral
e
had been shot with word of the funding being cut.  Many people were confused as to why the budget was being downsized in a situation where they truly needed it.  All throughout the day, all that was really commented on or talked about was how they already had to pay so much out of pocket before.  It was eye opening for Michael.  He was used to everything being provided for him with FDNY, from his turnout gear all the way to firehouse t-shirts and odds and ends.  He knew one thing he’d get out of all of this – he would never complain about his city pay anymore.  Things could definitely be a lot worse.

They made it back to Lawton’s place late, and Michael was almost too tired to even hop in the shower.  Getting a glimpse at himself in the mirror changed his mind.  He couldn’t help but laugh at the sight in front of him.  Anywhere his gear didn’t cover his skin, he was charcoal black.  His hair had so much dirt and grease in it that even when he brushed it down with his fingers, it shot back up in random directions. 

“I’m glad you’re laughing, McGinnis.  Today wasn’t one of our good days.”

Michael backed away from the mirror.  Aside from the budget cuts, it was apparent something else had happened that he didn’t hear about.  “What do you mean?”

Lawton sat on the edge of the bathtub.  “One of those kids we pulled out that house earlier by the river passed away. Larry with the Elgin Fire Department called me about an hour ago. Smoke inhalation.”

Michael ducked his head.  It was a family who had failed to evacuate a mobile home park.  When they had arrived on scene, most of the trailer houses had already been burned to the ground. 
Theirs
was still there, but the smoke damage was so bad that the house was on the brink of collapse. 

“Which kid?” Michael asked.

“The boy.  Said he just took a turn for the worse and there was nothing else they could do. I really thought we got them all out in time.  They all seemed to be okay when we got them on the ambulance.”

Michael chewed on the inside of his cheek and leaned against the doorframe.  “Apparently not.” It felt like what little energy he had left inside of him had been drained.  Staring in the mirror, he ran his finger down his cheek, leaving a streak through the soot. 

Lawton patted him on the back before leaving the bathroom.  “I know this won’t make it any easier, and I know you know this, but it happens.  We got them out.  God just wanted him more.”

Michael didn’t have anything to say in response, so he nodded his head and shut the door behind Lawton.  After his shower he had to run water to clean out the tub.  The white porcelain was a grey color and it took him about twenty minutes longer than usual to feel clean.  He couldn’t get his mind off of the boy.  It was so strange.  He had seemed fine and even cracked a smile as they got him to the ambulance. 

His phone buzzed on the counter, causing him to jolt.  He quickly pulled a shirt and sweat pants on and answered it, surprised that his mother was calling so late. 

“Hey Mom.” Michael gathered up his belongings and put them back in his room.  The bathroom was as clean as it was going to be for now. He had no more drive to do anything but lie on the bed and do nothing.  Falling back, his body nestled into the mattress, and for a split second he felt as if he had fallen asleep with the phone up to his ear. 

“Sorry for calling late, but I figured this would be the best time to catch you.  How are things going?  It’s felt like forever since we’ve talked.”

Turning on his side, he flicked the lamp off and laid in the darkness.  The only light shining through was from the light in the front yard of the house, peeking through the slats in the blinds.

“It’s okay.  I was about to go to bed here in a bit, but I can talk for a few.  Things are going okay.  Still getting used to some stuff, but I’m learning fast.”

“That’s good, son.” There was some hesitation in her voice and Michael could tell that she was worried about something.  “I’ve been watching the news.  Is it really as bad as the media is portraying it to be?”

Sighing, he switched the phone to his other ear and tried to pick his words wisely.  Rega
rdless of what he said, both she
and Eva were going to worry.  “I haven’t really been watching the news to compare it, Ma.  You know how the news is.  You shouldn’t be torturing yourself like that.”  Before he had come down to Texas he thought the news was overdoing things on the drama of the situation, but now that he was on the front lines, they honestly weren’t giving it justice.  Of course, he’d never say that to her.