All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood (36 page)

143
the
average
household
debt
exceeded
its
disposable
income
by
34
percent
Josh Sanburn, “Household Debt Has Fallen to 2006 Levels, But Not Because We’ve Grown More Frugal,” Economy (blog),
Time
, October 19, 2012, available at http://business.time.com/2012/10/19/household-debt-has-fallen-to-2006-levels-but-not-because-were-more-frugal/.

143
a
record
number
of
American
households
Warner,
Perfect Madness,
201–2.

143
9
percent
of
their
income
Office of the Vice President of the United States, Middle Class Task Force, “Why Middle Class Americans Need Health Reform,” available at: http://www.whitehouse.gov/assets/documents/071009_FINAL_Middle_Class_Task_Force_report2.pdf (accessed April 22, 2013).

143
Between
1980
and
2009,
Frank Levy and Thomas Kochan, “Addressing the Problem of Stagnant Wages,” Employment Policy Research Network, available at: http://www.employmentpolicy.org/sites/www.employmentpolicy.org/files/field-content-file/pdf/Mike%20Lillich/EPRN%20WagesMay%2020%20-%20FL%20Edits_0.pdf (accessed April 22, 2013).

143
the
wage
gap
between
mothers
and
childless
women
“The Motherhood Penalty: Stanford Professor Shelley Correll,” Clayman Institute, available at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLB7Q3_vgMk (accessed April 22, 2013).

143
which
estimates
that
a
child
born
in
2010
US Department of Agriculture, “Expenditures on Children by Families, 2010,” ed. Mark Lino, available at: http://www.cnpp.usda.gov/publications/crc/crc2010.pdf.

143
These
price
tags
do
not
include
college
tuition
US Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics,
Digest of Education Statistics: 2011
(2012): table 349.

144
the
best-paid
men
. . .
are
far
more
apt
to
put
in
long
Peter Kuhn and Fernando Lozano, “The Expanding Workweek? Understanding Trends in Long Work Hours Among US Men, 1979–2004,”
Journal of Labor Economics
(December 2005): 311–43.

149
“women’
s
lives
are
much
more
heavily
intertwined
”
Annette Lareau and Elliot B. Weininger, “Time, Work, and Family Life: Reconceptualizing Gendered Time Patterns Through the Case of Children’s Organized Activities,”
Sociological Forum
23, no. 3 (2008): 422, 427.

150
It was mothers who signed their children up
Ibid., 427.

150
“at least some employed mothers face a tradeoff”
Ibid., abstract.

150
“pressure
points”
Ibid., 422, 442.

150
the number of men who consider it their duty to be the primary breadwinner
Amato et al.,
Alone Together,
145.

150
the
number
of
Americans
who
believe
a
parent
should
stay
home
Chris McComb, “Few Say It’s Ideal for Both Parents to Work Full Time Outside of Home,” Gallup News Service, May 4, 2001.

150
whenever
the
free
market
threatens
Sharon Hays,
The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood
(New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 1996).

151
“in
the
workplace,
a
woman . . .
must
be
efficient”
T. Berry Brazelton,
Working and Caring
(New York: Perseus, 1987), xix.

152
Thanks
to
his
mother’s
college
education
Hulbert,
Raising America,
32.

152
“By some strange cosmic alchemy”
Quoted in ibid., 101.

152
Even the year the word “parent” first gained popularity
Ibid., 281.

153
The
average
age
of
first
marriage
Friedan,
The Feminine Mystique,
243.

153
“Occupation:
Housewife”
This term appears throughout
The Feminine Mystique
: pp. 44, 61, 89, 91–93, 103, 118, 298, 334, 350, 435, 461, 488.

153
“the problem that has no name”
Ibid., 57.

153
“One of the ways that the housewife raises her own prestige”
Ibid., 310.

154
17.5
hours
per
week
Bianchi, “Family Change,” 27.

155
“
A
good
woman
would
have
given
over
her
life”
Erica Jong,
Fear of Flying
(New York: NAL Trade, 2003), 210. (And a hat-tip to Claire Dederer’s
Poser,
without which I never would have remembered this perfect quote.)

155
the
title
of
a
2009
book
of
essays
Ayelet Waldman,
Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace
(New York: Doubleday, 2009).

155
“
intensive
mothering”
Sharon Hays,
The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood
(New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 1996), 4.

155
“The vast majority of these women”
Ibid., 146.

158
less than one-fourth the income of two-parent families
Bianchi, “Family Change,” 31.

158
they
have
more
health
problems
Roni Caryn Rabin, “Disparities: Health Risks Seen for Single Mothers,”
New York Times,
June 13, 2011.

158
fewer
social
ties
Jennifer A. Johnson and Julie A. Honnold, “Impact of Social Capital on Employment and Marriage Among Low Income Single Mothers,”
Journal of Sociology and Social Welfare
38, no. 4 (2011): 11.

158
more likely to receive child support
Bianchi, “Family Change,” 31.

158
their
children
spend
more
time
under
their
roofs
Linda Nielsen, “Shared Parenting After Divorce: A Review of Shared Residential Parenting Research,”
Journal of Divorce and Remarriage
52 (2011): 588.

158
“have as many demands on their time”
Bianchi, “Family Change,” 30.

159
report multitasking “most of the time”
Ibid., 106.

159
fewer hours . . . socializing . . . having meals
Ibid., 96.

159
“
the
mommy
mystique”
Warner,
Perfect Madness,
ch. 1.

159
fathers
work
longer
hours
Aumann et al., “The New Male Mystique,” 11.

160
work-family conflict
Ibid., 2.

160
84 percent of male respondents believed
Ibid., 7.

160
getting office messages during non-office hours
Ibid., 6.

160
“At my job I have to work very hard”
Ibid.

160
“They
don’t
want
to
be
stick
figures
in
their
children’
s
lives”
Ellen Galinsky, interview with the author, April 29, 2010.

164
“Some
historians
even
maintain”
Howard Chudacoff,
Children at Play: An American History
(New York: New York University Press, 2007), 6.

164
a
room
of
their
own
Quoted in Zelizer,
Pricing the Priceless Child,
53–54.

165
toy
sales
. . .
had
reached
$1.25
billion
Mintz,
Huck’s Raft,
277.

165
“for
babies
between
birth
and
age
two
alone”
Pamela Paul,
Parenting, Inc.
(New York: Times Books, 2008), 10.

165
domestic
sales
of
kids’ toys
Toy Industry Association, “Annual Sales Data,” available at: http://www.toyassociation.org (accessed April 23, 2013).

165
“Modern manufactured toys implied a solitariness”
Mintz,
Huck’s Raft,
217.

165
Crayons . . . Tinker
Toys
. . . Lincoln
Logs . . . Legos
Chudacoff,
Children at Play,
118–19.

165
“one
defining
feature
of
young
people’s
lives”
Mintz,
Huck’s Raft,
347.

165
22
percent
of
American
children
today
are
only
-
children
Rose M. Kreider and Renee Ellis, “Living Arrangements of Children: 2009,”
Current Population Reports
, U.S. Census Bureau (2011): 70–126.

165
“Middle-class
parents
worry”
Lareau,
Unequal Childhoods,
185.

165
“
we
were
bored
all
the
time”
Nancy Darling, “Are Today’s Kids Programmed for Boredom?” Thinking About Kids (blog),
Psychology Today,
November 30, 2011, available at: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/thinking-about-kids/201111/are-todays-kids-programmed-boredom.

167
“kids have very little experience”
Ibid.

167
“No
kid
ever
says”
Nancy Darling, interview with the author, March 3, 2011.

167
“Middle-class children often feel
entitled
”
Lareau,
Unequal Childhoods,
81.

167
there
were
fewer
than
100
playgrounds
Mintz,
Huck’s Raft,
179.

167
In 1906
Ibid.

168
the
number
of
children
who
walk
or
bike
to
school
Sandra A. Ham, Sarah L. Martin, and Harold W. Kohl, “Changes in the Percentage of Students Who Walk or Bike to School—United States, 1969 and 2001,”
Journal of Physical Activity and Health
5, no. 2 (2008), abstract.

168
crimes
against
children
have
been
steadily
declining
David Finkelhor, Lisa Jones, and Anne Shattuck, “Updated Trends in Child Mistreatment, 2011,” Crimes Against Children Research Center, University of New Hampshire (January 2013), available at http://www.unh.edu/ccrc/pdf/CV203_Updated%20trends%202011_FINAL_1-9-13.pdf.

168
reports of child sexual abuse fell by 63 percent
Ibid.

168
“In retrospect, one can see how terrified parents”
Mintz,
Huck’s Raft,
336.

168
wave of alarm over stranger abductions and madmen inserting razor blades
Ibid.

168
popping
up
on
milk
cartons . . . number
of
abductions
by
strangers
Ibid., 337. The 1-in-115,000 figure is derived from applying Mintz’s statistic to the U.S. Census Bureau’s figure for the total number of children under 18 in the United States.

168
four
times
that
many
died
National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, “Fatality Analysis Reporting System,” available at: http://www-fars.nhtsa.dot.gov (accessed April 22, 2013).