You Can't Go Home Again (11 page)

* * * * *

Jenn walked up just in time to see Nicole run away. She
looked at Jace, slowly shaking her head. Then she walked past him, squeezing
Bri’s hand. He’d been watching the little scene between Nicole and Jace, so he
had the gist of things.

“I need to go find Dani.”

“Do you need me to drive you?”

“No, she’s on foot. I’ll find her. I just wanted to tell you
I was leaving.”

From behind her she heard Jace’s voice, deeper than normal.
“I’ll go.”

She turned to look at him. “No, you don’t understand. She’s
really upset.”

“Okay. I’ll go.”

“Jace, no. She’s really a mess right now. There are things
you don’t know.” She had promised Dani she would never reveal her secret to
anyone. Jace had no idea what she was dealing with right now.

“Jenn, I’m going to go after her. Whether you like it or
not.”

“What about Nicole? Don’t you think you should go after
her?”

“Nicole won’t talk to me right now. I’ll go see her
tomorrow. Right now, I’m going to go find Dani.”

“But…”

“Jenn, let him go.” Brian squeezed her hand, silently
reminding her of their talk from last night. Maybe Bri was right. Maybe Jace
was in love with Dani. But he still didn’t know everything, and neither did
Brian.

She tried one more time. “But you don’t know where she’ll
go…”

She stopped cold at the look Jace gave her. “I know where
she’ll go, Jenn,” he growled out.

At that Jenn just nodded her head. She sent up a silent
prayer that Jace wouldn’t make things worse.

When she reached the pond, Dani was grateful to find the
area unoccupied. Since it had long been a favorite party spot, she’d half
expected to find some kids there. As she saw the first glimpses of moonlight
begin to push aside the waning sun, she realized why. Everyone was heading home
to watch the fireworks with their family and friends.

She sat down on the largest rock, tucking her feet
underneath her. It was wide and flat, having served as a table when they’d been
here before. The tears had stopped somewhere along the way, leaving her cheeks
dry and tight feeling. The tears had stopped, but her mind was still reeling.

Jenn had asked Dani if she’d seen it. She had. Repeatedly.

When she saw the scars, their locations, she’d known. The
recurring nightmare she’d had for almost two years was real. It wasn’t a
nightmare, or hadn’t been. It had been a vision.

She closed her eyes, replaying every horrifying minute from
memory. Feeling the pain he felt, hearing his thoughts. The tears started
again, rushing down her cheeks in small rivers.

* * * * *

That was how Jace found her. He watched for a couple of
minutes, not wanting to startle her. He waited for her to open her eyes. When
the silent tears turned to wrenching sobs he finally stepped forward, softly
calling her name.

“Danielle?” He took another step, creeping forward, slow and
calm, as though she were a wild animal he was afraid to frighten away.

When her head snapped around, she looked right into his
eyes, and he got his first glimpse of the pain she was in. He didn’t understand
it—it made no sense that she hurt like this—but he could see that it was real.

He closed the gap in one long stride, sitting beside her and
pulling her to him all in one move. He felt her head tuck into his chest, her
arms wrap around his back, holding on as a drowning man to a life raft. Her
warm, wet tears soaked through his shirt.

* * * * *

Dani held on, still feeling his pain, the shrapnel that tore
his thigh open, the bullet wound in his left arm. She felt the determination.
He would get them out, get them all out. No matter that he’d been shot. She
heard the rifles, felt the kick against her shoulder as he shot his own weapon.
She saw the bullet, as if in slow motion, felt it hit his side, just below the
flak jacket before blackness engulfed him.

He had been to hell and back, and had somehow survived.

She felt him squeezing her, pulling her closer. He pressed
soft, tender kisses against her hair, begging her to stop crying. She was
pulled from one nightmare into another. This one, a memory from her past.

Her parents had just died. It was the day of their funeral,
and Dani was listening to all the kind words from friends and family. Everyone
was sorry; it was a tragedy. They all expected that at any moment she would
fall apart, but that just wasn’t her way. She made it through the funeral,
through the gathering at the house. When the last person finally left, she
thought she could sit down and rest in quiet.

She knew it was odd that she hadn’t cried yet. Jenn was
worried about her. Jenn’s parents were too. She knew the tears would come
eventually, but so far it hadn’t seemed real. She was just in a really bad
play.

She had just kicked off her shoes when the doorbell rang. It
was Jace. She’d figured he’d forgotten something and plastered that stupid,
fake smile back on her face just to show she was okay.

He took one look at her, and instead of offering all the
appropriate words—It’ll be okay. It was a senseless tragedy. Oh, you poor
dear—Jace had said nothing.

He’d picked her up in his arms, carried her to the couch and
sat down, tucking her head into his shoulder. It had taken a matter of seconds
for the tears to start. She had finally cried; for hours she had sat there and
blubbered all over him. When the tears had finally dried, he’d wiped her eyes
with his thumbs, then gotten up to get her a glass of water.

He had stayed over that night, sleeping on the floor next to
her, holding her when she’d needed it.

He had done more to ease her pain than any words could have.

And she hadn’t even known about his own pain. She hadn’t
been here to know.  “God, Dani… Please stop crying. This is killing me.”

* * * * *

Jace couldn’t handle her tears, not when they were about
him. He felt guilty, like he was somehow responsible for this, although he
didn’t really know why. He kissed her head, pulling her closer, trying not to
notice just how perfectly she fit against him. Instead, he searched for the
words to help, to stop her tears. Dani didn’t cry. Ever. In fact, he’d only
ever seen her cry one other time. When he finally remembered her parent’s
funeral, he stopped talking and just held her. She would stop when she was
done. So he sat there, watching the sun set, feeling her curled into him, fists
clenching the back of his shirt. He pressed soft kisses against her head,
reveling in the smell of her hair. If he felt his heart aching, well, he just
ignored it.

When the tears stopped again, finally, Dani pulled her head
back, looking up into his face. She opened her mouth, obviously searching for
something to say, and stopped when his thumb brushed her cheek, drying her
tears.

Jace needed to kiss her. He had to feel her mouth moving
against his, taste her lips. He needed it like he needed his next breath. His
body tensed with anticipation, heat coursing through his veins. He hadn’t
planned this, knew he shouldn’t touch her.

He couldn’t stop himself.

He ran his thumb across her cheek, brushing her hair back,
tucking it behind her ear. He heard the soft catch of her breath and couldn’t
wait any longer. Jace dipped his head, touching his lips to hers gently, giving
her time to pull away. Praying she didn’t.

She kissed him back, adding just a hint of pressure to the
soft, melting kiss. Feeling her respond, Jace groaned, pulling his head back,
looking into her eyes for confirmation. He knew he’d been an ass since she’d
been back, but he’d never been one to take advantage of a woman’s pain. That
was the only thing that had kept him from kissing her after the funeral.

Gazing at her face, her blue eyes dark, still tremulous and
red rimmed, Jace knew he couldn’t do this. Not right now. Maybe just one more
kiss?

As he slowly leaned forward, she raised her lips to meet
his, pressing her hand against the back of his head, bringing the kiss deeper.
At the taste of her tongue against his, reason was lost. He knew this was
wrong, but couldn’t remember why.

* * * * *

Dani was in heaven. This was the Jace she knew, the man she
remembered. The man she’d always been in love with. Without the acid, the
rancor, she felt herself melting against him completely. She pressed his head
closer, her hand tangling in his hair. She could feel when he finally relaxed
into the kiss, letting his body respond and his mind shut down. This was what
she wanted, what she needed. Confirmation that he was really here, really
alive.

His hand trailed around her side, skimming the underside of
her breast before continuing upwards to delve into her hair. She felt the heat
start low in her belly, spreading outwards, through her veins. She needed to be
closer.

* * * * *

Hearing her soft cry against his lips, urgency pulsed
through Jace. She wasn’t close enough. He had to feel her body against him.
Unconsciously pressing his lips harder, his tongue delving into her mouth, Jace
pulled her onto him, turning her until she was straddling him, her knees beside
his hips.

Jace grabbed her hair, hissed out a breath and yanked,
pulling her head back, exposing her neck. He rained hot, open-mouthed kisses
down that long, sexy column, stopping just above her breast. Seeing her
breasts, nipples pushing against the tiny triangles of her top, Jace became
painfully aware of her scanty attire. His shaft throbbed hard, pushing against
his board shorts, aching to be released. When she rolled her hips toward him
again, he accommodated her, gripping her hip with his hand and pulling.

She must be as needy as he was. He could feel her heat
through the thin fabric of their swimsuits. She twisted against him, sliding up
and down his already aching shaft. When she cried out, throwing her head back,
whimpering in need, he gritted his teeth, praying he wouldn’t come yet.

She grabbed his head, digging her fingers into his hair and
pulling his lips back to hers.

When her mouth met his again, Jace felt his control
slipping. Five years since he’d touched her, tasted her. He brought his hands
up, cupping her breasts, pinching the tips between his thumbs and fingers. He
was afraid he was being too rough, but she pulled her head away, throwing it
back as she cried out her pleasure at his touch.

Jace groaned, thrusting his hips against her, desperate to
feel her skin against his. He yanked aside the top, exposing her flesh to his
gaze. Her nipples were such a dark pink, almost red really, just like her lips.
He bent his head, cupping her breast and suckling the tip deep into his mouth.

Dani whimpered. She twisted her hips, pressing against his
length, riding him, desperate for release. Leaning forward and pushing his
mouth from her breast, she kissed his neck, nipping and licking as she went.
She grabbed the bottom of his shirt, lifting it up, trying to shove it over his
head.

He complied. Raising his arms, he grabbed the sides and
threw his shirt off, pressing her body against his immediately. At the
skin-to-skin contact, Jace thought he would explode. Her nipples, tight little
buds pressing against him, made his cock pulse and throb against her sex. He
wrapped his hands around her hips, cupping her ass and thrusting against her.

He looked at her face, head thrown back in pleasure, eyes
closed, lips swollen and wet from his kisses. She was beautiful, more beautiful
than anything he’d ever seen. And she was writhing against him. “Dani,
sweetheart. Aw, hell, you’re going to make me come like this.”

* * * * *

She whimpered, biting her lip, pressing against him in an
ever increasing pace. “Good. Fair’s fair.”

She leaned forward, needing his mouth on hers. She ran her
hands down his back, sliding them back up his sides.

Until her fingers ran over the scar. Then she remembered.
And the memory was better than a bucket of cold water, cancelling her desire
with pain.

Her body tensed a split second before she pushed away and
jumped off his lap.

* * * * *

She stood there, still hot and flushed, her nipples
announcing her arousal, her breath fast and shallow. She was hastily adjusting
her top, trying to cover herself. He knew she’d felt the scars, knew that was
what had stopped them. She had been on the verge of orgasm, and she’d jumped
back because of a scar.

The rage took over again. How dare she be disgusted by a few
marks. Marks that had caused him so much pain. Pain she hadn’t even been around
for! Her tears, the pain in her eyes all but forgotten, lost behind his hurt,
Jace lashed out.

He stood slowly, doing nothing to hide the raging erection
pressing against his shorts. He leaned over and grabbed his shirt, sliding it
slowly back in place. Finally he turned to face her, an acidic look on his
face.

“Better?” he asked with a sardonic smile.

“What?”

He had to give her credit—she honestly looked confused. But
then again, she had been a drama major. “Well, you seemed to be a little
disgusted by my scars. I thought I’d spare you.”

He deliberately looked at her breasts, nipples still pushing
against her top. “Now that I’ve got my shirt back on, we can finish what we
started. I see you’re not so upset that you can’t respond to my touch.” He
stepped closer to her, walking until they were mere inches apart. “I bet if I
touch you now, you’ll still be wet. Want me to finish the job?” His hand came
down, cupping her between her legs, one finger teasing her core, pressing into
her through the spandex.

Her hand cracked across his cheek. Hard enough to knock him
back two steps. He heard it before he even felt the hit.

His head whipped back around with murder in his eyes. He
jumped forward with catlike speed. Grabbing her hair, he yanked back hard
enough to hurt her.