You Can't Go Home Again (13 page)

“It’s not just that. They don’t work, not really. I like
her, she’s sweet and all, but not for Jace.”

“I thought they were good together, from what little I’ve
seen. And from what you said…the yin to his yang.” At least he didn’t alternate
between kissing her and calling her names.

“Yeah, so did Brian, but I never really did. I was just
trying to get some reaction from you. Figure out what was going on. He just
never seemed like Jace around her. He was too quiet, too polite. Like the
catwalk thing yesterday. He normally would have done some little strut thing,
except Nicole was there, watching. He never even cusses around her. Like never.
And you know how Jace’s mouth is. It was just weird. And Brian said they’ve
never had a fight.”

“Really? Okay, weird but not bad. Maybe she makes him a
better person.”

“That’s what I told her,” Brian said, setting the sodas down
on the coffee table.

Jenn shrugged. “Maybe, but I don’t see it. Thanks, Bri. Anyway,
we need to talk about other things.”

“Okay…what other things?”

“Don’t be dense, Dani. It doesn’t suit you.”

“Okay, and that’s my cue to leave again…” Brian rose,
turning to grab his soda.

Dani waited a minute for Brian to leave the room. “Okay, so…
How about I start by telling you what you don’t know?” At least part of it.

* * * * *

Jenn grinned a little, nodding softly, remembering their
conversation a couple of days earlier.

“Well, after my parents died, I know that you were all
worried about me. You never saw me cry, thought I was holding everything in. I
wasn’t, not at all. I just didn’t want to talk about it.”

Dani took in a deep breath, blowing it out slowly before
continuing. “Jace came back after the funeral, after everyone else had gone.
When he got there, he knew, somehow, he knew that I didn’t want any more
platitudes, any more stupid comments about how horrible it was. He didn’t say
anything, didn’t bring me a casserole, nothing. He literally picked me up in
his arms, carried me over to the sofa and held me. After holding it together
for days, planning the funeral, that was what I needed. I sat there and cried,
for hours. He just sat there, letting me drench his shirt. Afterward, he lay
down beside me on the floor. He spent the night there, holding me, letting me
cry. Without saying anything.

“Anyway, I went back to school the following week and he
started showing up places. Coming by my room, stopping at the restaurant when
he knew I was about off for the night. That stopped after a couple of weeks,
but we still spent a ton of time together, over summer and the following school
year. Not only with you guys, but just the two of us.”

“So, you were dating? Why didn’t you tell us?” Jenn was a
little hurt that they would keep it a secret.

“No, not dating. There was no kissing, no sex at all.”

“Then I don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell us, or even
invite us, if you guys weren’t involved.”

“Most of the time we did. Usually, it was when one or both
of you had to work, or had a date, or study session. It was never an
intentional thing where we decided not to invite you. But, my point is, I think
that’s why he’s so pissed off at me.”

“Because you left?”

“No, not because I left. Because I didn’t come home. When he
was hurt in Afghanistan. He was there for me when I needed him, and I…well, I
wasn’t.”

“You didn’t know.” Jenn felt the guilt washing through her.
She should have made the call. She hadn’t known how close Dani and Jace had
been, but she’d known they were friends.

* * * * *

Dani twisted her hands in her lap. She didn’t blame Jenn at
all, but she had to know. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“I almost did. I reached for the phone at least ten times a
day the first week or so. To be honest, I don’t really know. You’d never asked
about him, not in three years. And he’d never asked about you. I wasn’t even
sure you would come. And I think I was afraid, if I had told you, and you
hadn’t come, it would have been worse.”

“I would have come, Jenn. I would have been on the next
available flight.” She took another deep breath, holding more tears at bay.
“And I did ask about him. Once.”

Confusion clouded Jenn’s eyes as she tried to recall if and
when. Dani could see the light dawn when she realized. “That night you called
me. At like four a.m. or something. You asked me if Jace was okay.”

Dani nodded, while Jenn continued. “I said he was fine. And
he was. He didn’t get here until a few weeks later.”

Now Dani was surprised. “A few weeks.” She never saw things
that far in advance. Never more than a few minutes, or hours at most.

“Yeah, a few weeks, maybe just over two. It took them over a
week, almost two to get him stable enough to even send him home.” She looked at
Dani, saw the confusion give way to more pain. Her eyes filled with tears.

“Wait, Dani…you didn’t… I mean, you saw what happened last
night, right? You didn’t see it…”

Dani was nodding, hand shaking as she furiously wiped the
tears away with the heel of her hands.

“Oh my God. You saw it the night you called me?”

She heaved in a breath, trying to calm herself back down.
“Yes… That night, and at least twice a week since.”

“What? How is that even… You still dream this? Wait, you saw
it before it happened?”

Now the tears were flowing freely, she made no effort to
stop them. “I don’t know how far before, I don’t really know when he was hurt.
I thought maybe you’d know, or Bri maybe. Last night, after I came home, I went
and looked in my journal. I wrote about the dream the first time I had it, so I
know when that was. But I don’t know how long after that it actually happened.”

Jenn moved from the sofa over to the love seat, running her
hand up and down Dani’s back.

She hastily swiped at the tears again, forcing them back
down her throat. She had cried more in the last two days than the last five
years.

A few minutes had passed while Dani sucked in air, trying to
dredge up her control. It didn't seem to work too well as tears continued to
flow.

“Damn it! I never cry. This has got to stop!”

“Maybe you should just let it out. It might be healthier.”

“No. No… I’m done.” One more quick swipe across her cheeks.
She folded her hands across her lap and faced Jenn. A little swollen, but dry
eyed. “Anyway, now that I know what happened, I know why he’s mad. We won’t
fight anymore. It takes two to fight, and I won’t do it. Whatever he feels
about me, I deserve it. That and much more, I’m sure.”

“Dani, don’t do that. Don’t beat yourself up. If you want to
blame someone, blame me. I should have called. “

Before Jenn had even finished Dani was shaking her head.
“No, you did what you thought was best. And that’s enough of this crap. I don’t
do maudlin. So…anyway, your wedding will be fine. I don’t want to talk about
this anymore.”

Dani stood and headed to the kitchen to grab another soda,
leaving Jenn sitting on the couch staring after her.

“Okay, fine…obviously we’re done talking. You know, usually
it’s the guy who buries things and drops conversations. You’d better find a guy
who’s really in touch with his feminine side, or you’re both screwed!”

Dani could hear the frustration in Jenn’s voice, and
couldn’t help but laugh a little. If only she knew the half of it.

When she saw the laugh, Jenn’s ire softened a little. “I’m
serious! I think that’s why you haven’t had a real relationship in years. No,
strike that…. Ever. The closest thing you’ve ever had to an honest
relationship, other than me, was Jace…and you don’t get sex from either of
those.” She was only half teasing, but she said it with a smile.

Dani barely managed to stifle the wince, covering it with a
smirk. She leaned into Jenn, wrapping her arm around her shoulders, then hip
bumping her. “Maybe Bri will share…” She wiggled her eyebrows.

When she saw Jenn laugh, a deep, honest laugh, Dani knew she
was off the hook.

“Yeah, sorry…you’re not my type. I prefer blondes!”

“Oh well, shit. I guess I’ll just have to settle for Zack
then.”

Jenn laughed again. “Yeah, only he prefers blondes too. I’m
telling you, someday that man is going to grow up. When he does, you should
come back. If he ever decides on a real relationship, he would definitely be
worth the effort.”

This time Dani smiled. “But then I’d have to grow up and
have a real relationship, too.”

Jenn chuckled softly. “You know, maybe you and Zack are more
well matched than I thought.”

Brian walked in the room. “I figured since I heard laughter
it was safe to come back.”

Jenn leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “You know,
apparently all those years in college trained you well.”

“Uh-huh. But not well enough that I’m not going to ask… You
and Zack? Really?”

When both women burst out in giggles, laughing hard enough
that tears rolled down their cheeks, and they fell to the floor, Bri was
baffled. “Okay, so maybe I don’t want to come in here yet. I’ll just go back to
the other room and finish my book.” He turned on his heel, tossing back one
last comment before he left. “I can’t see you with Zack. I kind of always
thought you’d end up with Jace.”

Wednesday morning, Dani was out running again. It was hot,
too hot today, but she needed the exercise to balance her mind. Not to mention
the physical release.

She had been having dreams. Not the nightmares she would
have expected, not even close. Instead, she’d been having erotic dreams. Very
hot, steamy, crazy erotic dreams. Just thinking about them made her body
tingle.

She huffed out her frustration. She was hot, sweaty and
tired. Sexual arousal should not even be possible right now, yet with one
errant thought, lust coursed through her.

As she neared her front porch, she debated another five
miles. She would have tried it if she hadn’t been on the verge of heat stroke
already. She thought that might put a damper on the rehearsal dinner tonight.

Draining a bottle of water before she went upstairs, Dani decided
a cold shower might be just the ticket. Maybe it would solve both problems.

As she stepped into the cool water, she thought about the
rehearsal dinner later tonight. She hadn’t seen Jace since the barbeque on
Friday, but she knew she’d see him there. Just the thought of him set her body
humming again. The cool water was bringing down her body temperature, but doing
nothing to sate the desire.

Memories of last night’s dream flashed through her head.
Jace’s hand running down her body, teasing her. Brushing by her nipple, so hard
and tight. Her breasts ached, needing his touch.

She felt her body responding to her thoughts, despite the
water temperature. She found her hands moving of their own accord, slick and
soapy, running over her own breasts, teasing the tips. She kept going in a
sudsy trail down her stomach, past her belly button, dipping lower through her
curls.

She was so aroused, her sex throbbing between her legs,
needing release. She knew it wouldn’t take much to finish the job, just a
stroke or two. With the thought of Jace’s lips on her breasts, her hand slipped
between the folds of her sex.

Wishing he were here, wishing it were his touch, she leaned
forward, pressing one hand against the wall for balance.

Her finger brushed her secret nub; feeling a rush of warmth
flood her sex, she couldn’t stop the harsh intake of air. She traced a slow
circle around her clitoris, already on the verge of release. Another, then
another. Her body tensed, readying to come.

And her phone rang.

Knowing Jenn would be on the other end, knowing they had to
go confirm the arrangements for tonight and approve the layout, she stopped,
pushing her desire back down through sheer will.

She hopped out, grabbing the towel and drying as she walked.
She grabbed her phone, trying to keep the frustration out of her voice. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself. I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?”

If only she knew… “No, Nina. No interruptions. How are you
doing?”

“I didn’t interrupt? Well, damn. I could swear I sensed
something.”

Was that possible? Could she sense Dani…

“Hmmmm, maybe I’m a few days off. Are you sure no one’s
there with you?”

Now Dani laughed. “Yes, I’m sure. But why don’t you tell me
who’s supposed to be here so I know who to look for.”

“Okay, snarky. I just got a sense that you were involved
with someone there. I was calling to get all the gossip. So, who is it? Is it
the one from before? It is, right? What was his name? Oh, yeah…Jason.”

“Nina, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m not
involved with anyone.” Not technically, anyway. “Maybe the distance is messing
with your senses.”

“Oh, that’s crap and you know it. Once I can sense someone I
can always sense them. So, I also know you’re lying. Or, rather, telling a half
truth, anyway. So, spill. Tell me what’s going on.”

Dani sighed. She couldn’t keep anything from Nina, didn’t
really even know why she’d tried. “Okay…it was Jace. But not what you’re
thinking. He, umm, well…he kissed me, a couple times. But only out of anger. He
was just trying to prove something. And it worked.”

“But you haven’t slept with him yet? Last night, the night
before?”

“No, not unless you count my dreams.”

“Are you sure?”

“Nina….” Dry sarcasm rang in that one word.

“No, I know…you would know. But I could swear… Okay, I guess
I was wrong. But I’m never wrong.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“Mmmm, from the sound of your voice, you are sorry. Maybe
I’m just a day or two early. But it felt so real. There is some heat between
you two, isn’t there? I almost got burned way over here.”