I could honestly say I was at peace with myself over my past, and the time I had spent with Dave had meant so much to me, but there was a cold lump in my chest at what his answer might be. The only thing in question was my future.
I stayed out for awhile, and let Sunshine run around until she was tired. She met me at the bottom of the stairs; about another inch of snow had fallen. I started back up the stairs and Dave came out. He handed me my notebook. “Read the last entry.”
“Dave, I wrote the last entry, why do I want to read it?”
“There’s a new entry. Read it.” I took my notebook and opened it to the last entry. Dave had good handwriting; of course he is a teacher. I read what he wrote:
March 12, 1993 on September 1989 to October 1992
Dear Lily,
I sat in class behind you today. It was English 101. I really hated English, but you made the class more fun. I started talking to you that day. You seemed like a great person. I really wanted to get to know you better. There was something about you. You rushed ADPi I watched and saw how excited you were when they called your name. I wondered what you thought of Delta Chi’s. I planned on rushing in the spring. That was the only fraternity I wanted to be a part of. They all seemed like nice guys.
September of 1990 I was so glad to be getting back to campus, my roommate had decided to rush in the spring. He asked you out Lily, before I did. Now, after you dated him for six months, you were engaged. It happened over that summer. I didn’t trust him though. You were pretty, but he liked to own things and you would just be another pretty trinket on his shelf. I hated him, but was it because I was just jealous or did I really have a reason not to trust him.
January of 1991 Chance tried to hurt you. I knew he was no good. I wanted to kill him when I walked into our dorm and stopped him. I was so glad you got away. I have never seen you more terrified than you were that night. I was just glad I showed up when I did. I can only imagine what would have happened. I moved in with Jace. I had to tell him so he could help me watch out for you. I hoped you didn’t get mad. Several brothers agreed that they would help take care of you. All of them were your friends, including me. You didn’t realize I had told anyone, I hoped you would forgive me.
March of 1991 I was too slow again. Jace was dating you; maybe I should just give up on you and date someone else so I can forget about you. I thought I’d ask Brianna out. She was one of your sorority sisters. Who knew what would come of it?
September of 1991 Jace told me something that day and I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid he was going to hurt you without really meaning to. He knew he was not going to be around forever. He told me he had always believed that he would die young and he felt like there was not much time left for him. That was a blow to the stomach. He was going to crush you if that happened while you were together. I need to tell you, but I’m not sure how.
March of 1992 I couldn’t believe he was going to give you an engagement ring. Did he not know what this was going to do to you? He kept saying he loved you, even if he did, was that the way to treat someone whom he knew he was not going to be there for. False hopes lead to nothing but empty lives. How could he do that to you?
July 5, 1992 His brother called me at 2:30 that morning. I didn’t even have to answer my phone to know what it was about. No good calls come in at 2:30 in the morning. He had called you too, Lily. I prayed God would take care of you, because I knew what this was going to do to you. I cried for you, you were the only thing on my mind at that moment. I have never cried for anyone before. I knew you would be devastated. What do I do? Do I call you and check on you? Would this even register? You needed someone right then. I guessed your family would be there for you, but we had become so close. I really didn’t know what to do.
July 7, 1992 I have never seen a more destroyed person than you, Lily. The funeral was not good for you. I had to even get up and leave, because I saw a Lily I had never seen before. It cut me to the heart. I saw you walk out with your sister as I was standing outside. Ally pleaded to me for help as she passed by. I tried to get you to stop Lily, I took your arm, but it was like you couldn’t stand my touch. You ran from me and jumped in your car and left Ally standing there. That was not like you. I knew something was bad wrong.
I took Ally home and hoped to see you Lily when we made it there. You weren’t. You were missing. Ally and I jumped back in my truck and went down the road you left on from the funeral home. We drove two hours and ended up in Hazel Green. We both saw your car off the side of the road. I saw you lying there, you honestly looked dead. I feared the worst. I bent down to pick you up and have never felt such relief as I did when you reached your arms around my neck and held on.
August 20, 1992 I helped move my sisters and Ally into their dorm today. Lily, you were there, but you weren’t there, you were still in bad shape. Things had gone from bad to worse. I finished helping Hannah and Hallie move in and I left straight for your house. Your parents let me in and I walked in your room. I knew you had something bad on your mind, I was afraid you were going to take your own life. I pleaded with you not to do anything and you just turned away from me. That hurt.
I couldn’t come back to see you anymore, I didn’t want to see you in such a bad state. You broke my heart. I kissed you on the cheek fearing that I would never see you again and I just had to leave. I drove around for hours. I hated Jace for doing that to you and you aren’t supposed to hate anyone, but what he did, there was no excuse for. He broke you in the worst possible way.
October 5, 1992 I missed you Lily. I called to check on you every day when your parents came home, because I knew you were not in a state to pick up the phone, because of what the last call you answered brought you. I was extremely worried about you today for some reason. I may just have to come see you, because I can’t stand not knowing about you. Something told me to take the long way home, because I needed a change of scenery. As I drove down the road I saw your car. I pulled over and panicked as I jumped out of my truck. “Please don’t let me be too late, please don’t let me be too late.” I turned into the little thicket of trees and there you were about to throw yourself off.
I yelled at you and started running hoping to catch you before you plummeted to your death. Something made you stop yourself. I jerked you off the rock; I hoped I didn’t hurt you. You looked me in the eyes for the first time—actually seeing me—after so many months.
I saw the pain in your eyes, it was tremendous, but it was no reason to take your own life. I hurt for you. I couldn’t stand to see you that hurt. I wanted to be there for you the rest of your life whenever you needed me. I only knew of one way to do that and that was to stick with you for the long run, no matter what it cost me. The only thing I cared about was you, Lily, and you are still the only thing I care about. What else could you call this? I cannot honestly tell you that you are just my best friend. I can tell you this. You are my best friend, my companion, someone I have told things too that I have never told anyone else in my life. You make me feel like I can trust you no matter what. I said there was something about you the day I met you in English that first day at UM. Now you know.
Love, Dave
P.S. I love you, Lily. Are you going to let it happen?
I answered Dave the best way I knew how. I closed my notebook and wrapped my arms around him and kissed him, and then Sunshine came up and licked us both from our chins to our noses several times in a row. I placed my hand on Dave’s face gently.
“Dave, thank you for loving me as much as you do, because I love you just as much, you are my best friend, and my destiny.”
The snow really picked up then and it was almost blizzard like. It was getting colder by the second and the wind started blowing. Dave and I stood up and went back in with Sunshine right behind us. Mom had made a big pot of chili for dinner. Ally and I made the grilled cheeses to go with it. We all sat and enjoyed dinner and I couldn’t stop smiling. My future had suddenly become much brighter.
* * * * * * *
Mom left the fireplace going all night, because it was keeping the cold away. After dinner Dave and I sat cuddled on the couch. He had a blanket thrown over me and Sunshine laid on me. The wind was whistling down through the chimney. It had a really eerie sound, but I felt safe where I was. I was so warm and felt so good that I fell asleep on Dave. He woke me up a little while later. “Lil, go get ready for bed, you’re exhausted.”
“But I’m so warm, Dave heat and Sunshine heat with me sandwiched in between, I don’t want to move.”
“I’ll tell you what. Go ahead and go get your shower and whatever else you need to do and come back and we’ll re-sandwich you. That way you’ll be ready for bed, if you fall asleep.”
“Okay, fine, I’m going.” I pulled myself out of my warm spot and immediately Sunshine took that place and lay up against Dave. She loved him too. I watched as he just petted her and she adored him. I knew she would end up being part Dave’s dog too. I went to get my shower.
When I had my pajamas on and I walked into the den everyone was intensely watching a movie and the lights were out. Dave saw me come in and moved Sunshine over so I could sit back down where I was. He threw the blanket back over me and Sunshine plopped herself on top of me.
Whatever movie they were watching was freaky. I had to hide my face. I couldn’t watch it. Dave laughed quietly at me. He had his arm around me and was covering my eyes when the scary parts would come on. He had seen it before. I don’t know what the name of it was, I can’t remember. The part I remember is how close Dave and I were that night and how I wanted to stay there for the rest of my life.
It was late when the movie was over and the wind was howling and Dad looked outside. “The snow is piling up. It looks to be about a foot. I hope our roof will hold. It’s supposed to snow through tomorrow. Dave it looks like you will be here a while, maybe you and the girls won’t kill each other.”
The three of us laughed at that. I didn’t see that happening. I could see Dad hoping for that, because he wasn’t blind to the coziness of me and Dave. They knew that things had changed between us, but they weren’t stopping it either. I believe they were happy, but wary. Ally would just look at us and grin. I believe she was secretly hoping that Sam and Dave would be cousins and brothers-in-law. I thought about that and laughed. Dave caught me. “What’s so funny?”
I looked at Ally and grinned, she knew I knew what she was thinking. She couldn’t help but grin back. We both shrugged our shoulders in an agreement of “you never know”. “Nothing Dave, just knowledge between sisters.”
He looked between me and Ally. “I don’t think I’ll ever figure women or girls out.”
Dad came over and clapped Dave on the back. “Son, it’s best not to try. Twenty-five years of marriage and I still have no clue and I am surrounded by them.” Everyone laughed then.
Then Dad gave the all call. “Well ladies and gentleman I am turning in. Sleep well.” When Dad went to bed everyone went to bed if we still happened to be up. Mom handed me the sheets for the couch where Dave would be sleeping.
“Dave go ahead and get ready for bed. This makes out into a sleeper; do you want that or just the couch?”
“If it’s not too much trouble I would like the sleeper.”
“Okay, go ahead and get ready and I’ll have it made up for you when you get out.”
“Thanks Lil, I’m going to get me a shower.”
“Okay, I laid out a towel and washcloth for you on the counter.”
“Thanks.” He shut the door and I heard the water come on.
I made up the sleeper and brought him a quilt and a blanket, not knowing which he preferred.
Sunshine had taken up residence in front of the fireplace once again and was as content as she could possibly be. I went and turned back my bed and took one of my sets of pillows into the den for Dave. I had a full-size bed and I took my pillows and placed them in the middle; that is normally where I slept and depending on Sunshine’s mood depended on which side of me she chose to sleep on. Of course that could change since Dave was here. She may have chosen to sleep with him. I heard the water shut off as I was reading my book. I had turned off my overhead light and had my reading lamp on. Dave walked out of the bathroom and told Ally good night and then came into my room and whispered. “Can I have a goodnight kiss?” I couldn’t help but smile. I love hearing him say that.
“Of course.”
He kissed me and everything went away for the briefest of seconds and I was in my own little world that was a good world. It felt wonderful. More pieces of my wall broke away.
He gently broke the kiss and whispered in my ear. “I love you, Lily.”
“I love you more.” He smiled and it had changed to a warm smile full of adoration. All I could say was wow. It’s amazing how quickly things change.
I was getting sleepy, so I turned off my reading lamp and slid my pillows down to my bed from my headboard. I heard Sunshine jump in bed with Dave, but he also didn’t want her in there with him. “Sunshine, take care of Lily.” I heard her jump down off his bed and make her way into my room. He wasn’t used to a big dog sharing his bed, but I sure was. She jumped up on my bed. That night she chose my left side. I turned over and draped my arm over her and hugged her too me. She gave me goodnight kisses and went to sleep very contently.
I slept well. I dreamed all kinds of good things, no nightmares; of course I hadn’t had any of those since Sunshine had become part of my life. She kept them away. In the middle of the night as I was peacefully sleeping, I heard a giant WHUMP. It shook my bedroom. Sunshine barked and I screamed; everyone came running down the hall. Ally must have screamed at the same time, because Dad ran in there and Mom ran into my room. Dave stood in the hallway. “What was that noise? It was incredibly loud.”
Dad investigated. He took the flashlight outside to look and then we heard him yell, “WHOA” and another loud WHUMP. Dave ran out the door. “Coach Aldridge?”
“I’m okay!” We heard Dad yell back and then he and Dave both came back in through the door. As we listened we heard things snapping and popping and hitting the ground with a thud or a whump. Ally and I were frozen where we were. The power had gone out and our generator kicked on. It was so loud and everything sounded like it was about to come through the roof of our house. I was scared to death and I felt it coming. Sunshine did too.
Dave called to Mom. “Mrs. Aldridge?”
Mom answered. “I know Dave, but I need to get my girls out of their rooms first. I want them away from the trees.” Mom had hold of me and Ally and Sunshine was trying to get to me.
Dave called to Sunshine. “Sunshine heel.” She heeled but she didn’t want to. She was antsy wanting to get to me. Mom led us into the den and let go of me and Dave dismissed Sunshine. “Take care of Lily.” Sunshine was immediately up under my hand and I came down on my knees to her, because they gave out on me and I just sat on the floor and she was right there next to me and I wrapped my arms around her and just cried as she nuzzled me to get me to calm down. She rubbed her head on me and nuzzled me until I calmed down as she listened to or either felt my heart beat, because her ear was right up against my heart. Mom allowed Dave to handle the situation and observed what he did.
“Lil, it’s okay, you’re safe.”
He stroked my hair as I heard another tree fall and it made me jump and cry more. “Shh, it’s okay Lily. You’re going to be okay.” I was finally able to calm down enough after several deep breaths.
“There, that's my girl . . . are you better?” I nodded my head yes.
“Good, I think your Dad made you and Ally a bed in their room. You’re going to be away from the trees. They won’t fall through the roof on you. You’re going to be okay.”
I nodded yes again. He took me into Mom and Dad’s room, but didn’t say where he was going because I would have panicked again. He went to the other side of the house and brought back our blankets and pillows off our beds for me and Ally. Dad had blown up the two full size air mattresses that we used for tornadoes when we had to go to the basement, and put them in their room for us to sleep on. I calmed down the rest of the way and was able to sleep and Sunshine never left my side for the rest of the night. She was such a good dog.
The next morning we all woke up. The generator was still going so our power had not returned, but the generator was big enough to run the entire house except for the air conditioner and dryer. We were set. Mom left the fireplace on and we had the heat from that too. As long as our generator didn’t go out we were good to go. The snow was blowing all around the house. It definitely looked like a blizzard and I had to take Sunshine out in it, but it was so deep I didn’t know how far she would sink and I was afraid her paws would get hurt. Then I remembered the dog boots that came with that set that Dave bought her for Christmas. I put them on her, she didn’t like them. She walked funny, but she left them on anyway. “Sunshine I promise I’ll take them off you when you come back in.”
Dave had gone out in it and dug a path for her. The snow was three feet deep in some spots but mostly two feet deep. Mom gave me and Dave giant trash bags to put over our legs so they would stay dry. Sunshine followed the path that Dave had dug for her and he had cleared out a larger area for her to do her business. It was a dog-sized snow tunnel. He stood out there with me because you could still hear the snapping and breaking of tree branches, but we were in a clearing where there were no trees that were tall enough to reach us even if they did fall.