As his eyes swept the market square, he spotted numerous Zetithian children playing with the offspring of a dozen other species. That fact alone should have reassured him, but he suspected it would be years before crowds ceased to have a disquieting effect, if indeed the memory ever left him completely. In the meantime, he would take no chances. Any crazy Davordian taking potshots at Sara would have to get past him first.
***
Regardless of Sara’s intention to behave as normally as possible—finding a shop, helping Jerden pick out clothes, telling him how great he looked in them—a sense of foreboding remained. She doubted that the woman Jerden had seen was actually Audrey’s killer. However, the fact that she still haunted him was a little unnerving. Recalling her own lingering fears helped her to place it in the proper context, but she was astonished at how much Jerden’s peace of mind concerned her now. That stricken look on his face was one she never wanted to see again.
The afternoon was warm and sunny, and he wore a pair of khaki shorts out of the first store they visited. She’d encouraged him to look at Terran apparel, preferring to avoid the exotic garb offered by the Twilanans and the heavier robes worn by those species that couldn’t tolerate the sun. He’d also bought a couple of T-shirts, but in her eyes, they were all wrong for him. Actually, everything he put on seemed out of place—except for the jeans he tried on at the next shop.
He pulled back the fitting room curtain. “What do you think?”
Snug in all the right places, they even made Sara consider grabbing his ass. She could hardly wait to see Drania’s reaction. “
Totally
hot.”
“Really?” He twisted sideways to get a better look at himself in the mirror.
“Trust me. Women will swoon.”
“If I wanted
that
to happen, I wouldn’t be buying clothes.”
“Can’t be helped,” she said with a slow wag of her head. “Once everyone realizes you aren’t really a hissing, spitting wildcat, women will be panting after you just like they did on Rhylos—and even Cria won’t be able to scare them away.”
The leopard gave Sara a sly look, as though agreeing with her assessment.
Unzipping the jeans, Jerden skimmed them off. “Does that bother you?”
“Why would it bother me? I mean, we’re not
really
dating.” She paused, frowning. “Are we?”
He didn’t reply immediately, taking a moment to pull on a pair of Paemayan lounging pants. “No, we aren’t
really
dating. What about these?”
“Too baggy,” she said after a moment’s scrutiny. “They make you look like a harem slave.”
“According to Lynx, harem slaves don’t wear
anything
,” Jerden pointed out. “I could wear them around the house.”
Sara shrugged. “Suit yourself. They do look comfortable.”
His eyes swept over her. “You’d look nice in the female version. Maybe I’ll get you a pair for your birthday.”
He’d already bought her a dress she’d probably never wear, whether she looked like a queen in it or not. “Don’t bother. Besides, my birthday isn’t for a couple of months yet.” She grimaced. “I’ll be thirty-four. Getting plumb old.”
Jerden snickered. “I’m thirty-nine, but, trust me, I am
not
getting old.”
“Yes, but you Zetithians live longer than humans. Thirty-nine is more like twenty-nine for you, isn’t it?”
He nodded. “So, how does it feel to be dating—er,
pretending
to date—a younger man?”
Given the circumstances, his age was irrelevant. “Okay, I guess.”
Rolling his eyes, he shot her a sardonic smile. “Think you could curb your enthusiasm?”
“Sorry. If you want enthusiasm, you should talk to my mother. She’d be positively ecstatic to see us together.”
“Even though I’m not human?”
Sara’s mother had given up on her daughter finding a man so long ago, she would see him as the answer to a prayer, whether he was human or not. “Trust me, she wouldn’t care if you were a Norludian.”
“What about you? Got a problem hanging around with a Zetithian?”
“Not if you don’t mind hanging around with a Terran.”
“I think I can do that.” Quirking an eyebrow, he stripped off the lounging pants. “So, are we friends now?”
Since Sara had already seen him naked more often than not, she couldn’t help chuckling as she glanced at his groin. “I certainly hope so.”
***
After dropping Jerden off at his place, Sara drove home, wondering what the hell she’d gotten herself into. Although she’d done fairly well in public, the return trip had been characterized by an awkward silence. Jerden didn’t seem to be the problem. He was congenial and considerate, but his attempts at small talk had sent her anxiety level skyrocketing. On top of that, she’d never been more confused in her life. Were they a couple in private as well as in public? Could she expect frequent visits from him or would they simply go out on the occasional date to allay suspicion? There
had
to be an easier way to get Nate out of her life. However, short of having him deported, Sara couldn’t come up with one.
Later that evening—unable to even
think
about trying to sleep—she lay on the couch with her computer in hand, scrolling through the list of building contractors in the area. She’d gotten a good deal from the company she’d hired to build her barns, but if Jerden’s pockets were as deep as she suspected, he could build a real showplace if he wanted to. Sara could help him with that. Most women had ideas for their dream house. Sara’s ideas were for a dream
barn
.
Searching for available Friesians was even more fun. With gracefully arched necks and curly manes and tails, Friesians were as big and black and powerful as Jerden himself. Most of the photos she found were three dimensional and could be rotated in any direction. She was drooling over a particularly fine stallion when she heard a tap at the back door.
She glanced at the clock. It was late—long past her usual bedtime and way too late for visitors. “Oh, let me guess,” she muttered. “That dratted stallion is gone again.”
But it wasn’t Zatlen at the door this time. Nor was it Jerden. It was Nate.
And her door wasn’t locked. Living out in the boonies as she did with her stable hands nearby, she’d never felt the need. Obviously, she’d been wrong. Suddenly, having Jerden as her bodyguard—or a live-in boyfriend—didn’t seem like such a ridiculous idea. At least she’d had sense enough to flip on the light and not open the door before peering out the window to see who was standing on her porch. Engaging the lock, she shouted, “What do you want?”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay. I’m sorry if I scared you this morning.”
“You could have just called me.”
“I wanted to apologize in person.”
“Took you long enough to do it,” she muttered.
“What?”
She raised her voice a notch. “I said, you picked one hell of a time to come knocking on my door. I’m fine. Apology accepted. Just don’t ever try to kiss me again.”
“Why not?” He tried the knob. “Sara, please let me in. I won’t hurt you.”
That’s what they all say.
“Go home, Nate. I’m okay, but I’m in no mood to talk to you right now.”
She’d have given a lot to have Jerden standing behind her, snarling. The mere thought of him gave her courage, but this time she wouldn’t need Jerden. Surely Nate would respect the fact that her door was locked—wouldn’t he?
She reminded herself that Nate didn’t know anything about her past and couldn’t have known how she would react when he kissed her. He was probably feeling bewildered and repentant.
Unfortunately, he didn’t sound that way. He sounded bitter and angry. “You don’t trust me, do you?”
“Nate, I don’t trust anyone who comes to my house this late at night. You should have called me.”
“You wouldn’t have answered when you saw who it was.”
He had a point. “Yeah, well, I’m not unlocking my door, either. Go home. We can talk some other time.”
“You let that alien bastard in your house.” His voice was sharp, accusing.
She chose to ignore the slur, even though it made her long to slap him. “I didn’t
let
him in. I
carried
him in. There’s a difference.”
“Yes, and then he carried
you
in.” Even in the dim light Sara could see the anger etched in his face. “That’s been bugging the hell out of me ever since. Did you and that damned man-whore kiss and make up?”
She considered telling him where she’d been that afternoon and with whom, but she had an idea it would provoke him even further—especially without Jerden there to back up her story. “It doesn’t matter
what
we did. What matters is that it’s none of your business. Look, I suppose I should be flattered that you’re interested in me in a romantic manner—at least, I think that’s what you’ve been trying to tell me—but I’m
not
interested. I’m not going to explain it any further. Please, just accept it and go home.”
He shook his head. “Not good enough, Sara. I won’t give up that easily.”
“Dammit, Nate, you scared the shit out of me! Nothing you can say or do will change that.” She sighed wearily. “Just go home. It’s been a very busy day, and I’m exhausted.”
To her surprise, he actually nodded. “Okay. I’ll leave, but we could be really good together, Sara. Promise me you’ll give it some thought.”
She’d give it some thought all right. All of the two seconds it would take to shout
Oh, hell no!
“Good
night
, Nate.”
“Good night, then.” As he turned and stepped off the porch, Sara caught sight of his clenched jaw and tight fists and wondered if he’d actually considered forcing his way in. The sick feeling in the pit of her stomach warned her that he very well might. Hurrying to the front door, she locked it, then waited until she heard the whine of his speeder before she went back to the couch. She picked up the computer, intending to continue her research, but thought it might be best to look into security systems instead. Then she realized that except at night, she wasn’t even
in
her house most of the time. A security system would be useless.
Still shaking, she sank down onto the couch wishing she knew what to do. Jerden hadn’t been wrong when he’d suggested that she’d come to Terra Minor to escape. She’d heard there were very few unmarried Terran men living there—most had immigrated with their wives. Of course, that was before the Zetithians arrived. Human men were still scarce, but human
females
were everywhere. Why couldn’t Nate have taken a fancy to one of them? Perhaps he would. She should suggest that Jerden invite all the unmarried Terran ladies in the region to his cookout. Maybe Nate would fall in love with one of them and leave Sara alone.
Jerden might find someone else, too. Then she wouldn’t have to pretend to be something she wasn’t just to keep Salan and the others from bothering him. The funny thing was, that thought didn’t make her feel any better at all. She felt hollow and empty, like all the joy had been sucked out of her soul.
It was a feeling she knew quite well. She had only just begun to feel happy again in the time she’d been on Terra Minor. Her exhausted brain didn’t know what to make of any of it.
“Guess it’s time I went to bed.” Then she remembered she hadn’t changed the sheets. “Doesn’t matter. If there are fleas, there are fleas. Not gonna worry about it now.”
But there weren’t any fleas. Only the lingering scent of the man who’d shared her bed for the past two nights, the man she’d spent a perplexing afternoon with and whose presence now haunted her dreams.
Jerden.
As she might have expected, Sara received a call from Bonnie bright and early the next morning. “Considering your
performance
yesterday, I thought you might want to come over for a little woman-to-woman talk.”
Pulling the wool over Salan’s eyes had been relatively easy. Bonnie had obviously seen right through it. “What gave me away?”
“Several things,” Bonnie replied. “But I was particularly taken by your reaction to Hilbransk insinuating that you were in love with Jerden. You looked like you’d just swallowed an enock. Then there was the fact that Jerden actually bought you that dress.”
“I never wear dresses,” Sara said lamely.
“Believe me, I know. Want to talk about it?”
Sara blew out a breath. “Not really, but I guess I should. I’ll be there in about an hour.”
After saddling Akira, Sara mounted up and headed toward Bonnie’s farm, still trying to figure out how her simple life had suddenly become so complicated.
Then it got even
more
complicated. She arrived at Bonnie’s house only to find Danuban grazing in the yard and Cria sitting on the porch like a guardian sphinx.
Jerden was there ahead of her.
Her first thought was to turn tail for home, but Karsyn was already waving at her from the window. Moments later, the tiny blonde came flying out of the house. “Hi, Sara! Can I have a ride?”
“Sure, Karsyn.” Sara positioned Akira close to the porch and Karsyn climbed up in front of the saddle like a little monkey.
“Jerden’s here too! Did you see his big cat?”
“Um, yeah. She’s kinda hard to miss.”
Karsyn continued on, apparently immune to sarcasm. “I like her. Her name’s Cria. Did you know that?”
“Yes,” Sara said with a chuckle. “We’ve met.”
“Really? You’ve petted her and everything?”
“You bet.”
“She didn’t bite you, did she?” Not waiting for a reply, Karsyn bounced up and down. “Can this horse go faster?”
“Sure can, but he won’t unless I ask him to, so just sit still.”
Karsyn spun around, scowling. “I want to go
fast
.”
“And I want to talk to your mother.”
“Jerden’s talking to her now. Did you know he’s going to have a party? We get to eat hamburgers and swim in the lake!”
“Sounds wonderful.” She wondered if he’d mentioned the “hostess” thing, and also whether or not Bonnie had told him she’d figured out their little secret.
“Oh, it will be. Jerden was very sad for a while, but he’s happier now. I like him. Do
you
like him?”
Sara wasn’t sure how to answer that, but for the child’s benefit, she figured she shouldn’t complicate things too much. “Yes. I like him. We’re… friends.”
“Good. Now, make this horse
go
!”
Looping an arm around Karsyn’s waist, Sara put Akira into a slow, collected canter down the path that led to the main road. Karsyn let out a squeal that would’ve sent a lesser horse galloping for the hills, but Akira took it in stride. “Want to do something fancy?”
“Ooh, yes!”
A couple of flying lead changes had Karsyn squealing again. “It feels like he’s skipping!”
“Sort of. He goes sideways, too. Watch.” Transitioning to the trot, Akira performed a half pass across the front yard to where Danuban was grazing.
“That’s really cool!”
Sara pointed at the stallion. “If you think that’s cool, you should see what my new horse can do.”
If
I
ever
get
to
ride
him, that is.
“You mean Jerden’s horse?”
Sara bit back a retort. She couldn’t very well fault Karsyn for thinking that. The fact that it was becoming truer with each passing day didn’t help. “Actually, he’s
my
horse, and he can do all kinds of neat tricks.”
If
I
can
figure
out
how
to
get
him
to
do
them.
Sara had been boning up on her classical dressage ever since she’d purchased Danuban, but the “airs above the ground” were movements she’d never attempted. Akira could do a decent levade, but that was about the size of it. Leaps like the courbette and capriole were beyond her expertise. Jerden, on the other hand, could probably do it—bareback and naked—and make it look easy.
“What else can this horse do?”
“Well, he can trot in place,” Sara replied. “It’s called the piaffe.”
“Show me!”
Akira responded promptly to Sara’s cue, even with Karsyn wiggling around on him.
“Very bouncy!”
Sara laughed. “He’s got nothing on you when it comes to bouncing, Karsyn. You’re the champ.” She glanced up just as Bonnie and Jerden came out onto the porch. Even knowing he was there didn’t fully prepare her for the sight of him—though he
was
wearing his loincloth. Apparently he was saving his new clothes for when he went to town. Still, the loincloth suited him, making him look like some kind of primitive warrior. A tingle ran up her spine.
“Look at us, Jerden!” Karsyn yelled. “We’re doing the—” She twisted around to face Sara again. “What’s it called?”
“The piaffe. If you do it moving forward, it’s called the passage. Like this.” Akira stepped out, his springy passage giving Sara the same thrill it always did. “He can go backwards, too.” While Karsyn dissolved into giggles, Sara backed Akira across the yard, coming to a halt by the porch.
“Mom! You gotta try this!” She clambered off the horse and into Bonnie’s arms. “It’s so much fun!”
“I’m sure it is,” Bonnie said. “Maybe one of these days I’ll take lessons.”
“Maybe I should too,” Jerden said.
Sara nearly swallowed her tongue. “I don’t know if you
need
lessons, Jerden. You already ride better than I do.”
“Not really,” he said. “I don’t know how to do any of that stuff.”
“In your case, I think it’s more a matter of not knowing these movements are possible. I’ll bet all you’d have to do is
think
about what you want a horse to do, and your body would automatically know how to cue it.”
Bonnie elbowed Jerden in the ribs and giggled. “Sort of like how you are with women.”
Sara frowned. “Huh?”
“Never mind,” Bonnie said. “You’ll get it someday.”
“I can give you lessons if you like,” Sara went on. “I’d like to see what Danuban can do, and it doesn’t look like I’m ever going to get to ride him myself.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she wished them unspoken. “Sorry, Jerden. That didn’t sound very nice.”
“It’s true, though,” he acknowledged. “I’m sorry to keep hogging him, but right now, aside from my feet, he’s my only means of transportation.”
“We’ve got to get you a speeder,” Bonnie said firmly. “Believe me, I know what it’s like to live out here without one. My feet had blisters on top of blisters back when I had to walk to the market in Nimbaza every week. Lynx can help you find one, and if it isn’t running, he can fix it.”
Karsyn nodded vigorously, her silvery blonde curls swaying with the movement. “Yeah. Daddy can fix
anything
.”
“Anything with moving parts and an engine, that is,” Bonnie amended. She smiled fondly. “He’s good at a lot of things.”
Sara was pretty sure she wasn’t only referring to his ability to keep the farm machinery running, but that was a tangent she chose to ignore. “Until you get a speeder, I can take you into town anytime you need a ride.”
Jerden grinned, displaying his fangs. “And until I get my own horse, I can ride yours?”
“Well, yeah,” Sara said lamely.
So
much
for
the
occasional
date
to
keep
everyone
guessing.
“We might even get you into a horse show. It’d be great advertising for the farm. Ulla’s ready for training level. I bet you and Danuban could mop up the competition in first level, maybe even the second if you’re a quick study.”
“What about the stuff you were just doing?”
“Fourth level,” Sara said with a flick of her brow. “I know Danuban can do all of that—and more. It’s a matter of you learning how to ride it. Dressage is
nothing
like hopping on a horse and galloping off into the sunset. It’s very precise and difficult. But if you can compete at that level… well, that would be… awesome.”
***
The sparkle in Sara’s eyes went straight to Jerden’s heart. If riding well enough to win was what would make her think he was awesome, he was willing to give it a shot—aside from the fact that taking lessons from Sara would allow him to spend as much time at her place as he liked. He could come over for a lesson every day. “Guess I ought to get a pair of boots.”
“You’ll need more than that,” Ulla said as she came out onto the porch. “Boots, breeches, spurs… Really
cool
stuff.”
“She’s been bitten by the horse bug, Bonnie,” Sara said with a knowing smile. “You’ll never have any credits to spare again.”
Bonnie rolled her eyes. “Don’t I know it! Lynx is already building a stable for the ponies when they arrive. Feeding them won’t be a problem, but all the stuff a rider needs… well, you
know
what I’m talking about.”
Jerden caught himself before laughing out loud. The way he’d been riding, he didn’t need
anything
. But that was about to change. He would miss the freedom, though. Maybe he could strip down and ride naked through the mountains sometime when Sara wasn’t watching. Or maybe he would do it when she
was
watching. Jerden wasn’t ignorant when it came to the things women liked, and he knew very well that the sight of a naked hunk riding a horse like Danuban was enough to make even the toughest woman melt.
Except the one who aroused feelings in him he’d never felt before. Sara was more than a passing fancy. He
liked
her—even when she was telling him to get lost. And if he ever caught Nate sniffing around her again, well… he probably wouldn’t be quite as forgiving as he’d been the last time. Unfortunately, he wasn’t sure she liked
him
very much, though he suspected her dislike didn’t involve him specifically, but men in general. He had a feeling he was going to recover his sexual ability long before he caught the first whiff of her desire.
If he ever did. Someone had gotten to her, had destroyed any of the warmer feelings for the opposite sex that she might once have had. He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss away those fears. Unfortunately, if her reaction to Nate’s kiss was anything to go by, he had a long way to go before he could ever hope to get that close to her—at least, not in private.
Sara nodded at Ulla. “Speaking of horses, would you and Karsyn mind looking after Akira while I talk to your mother?”
Ulla didn’t bother to hide her enthusiasm. “I’d
love
to.”
As Sara dismounted and handed the reins to Ulla, Bonnie gave her daughter an indulgent smile. “I’m sure you would.”
“I want to ride by myself,” Karsyn said.
“You aren’t quite ready for that,” Sara replied. “You can sit on him, but let Ulla lead him. Okay?”
Karsyn stuck out her lower lip in protest, but she nodded. “I want Jerden to put me on him.”
Bless her heart, she gave him the best excuse for sticking around he could think of. He held out his arms and caught Karsyn as she leaped toward him. “I’ll keep an eye on them.”
“Thanks.” Bonnie sounded grateful, but Sara’s expression never changed.
“Where are the other kids?” Sara asked.
“Out working with Lynx,” Bonnie replied. “Probably hindering more than helping. My two horse-crazy girls weren’t about to leave the house when they heard you’d be riding over here.” She glanced at Jerden. “And especially after
you
showed up on a black stallion.”
Jerden had visited Bonnie more out of curiosity than anything, and though he would’ve preferred to tell Bonnie the truth about his relationship with Sara, she’d seemed so pleased to see them together, he hated to disappoint her. On the other hand, the fact that she’d been no harder to convince than Salan made him slightly suspicious. Bonnie was a lot smarter than the dairymaid, and she and Sara were good friends. Sara would probably tell her everything—including whether or not she was having second thoughts about their arrangement.
She’d been very quiet during the trip home from Nimbaza, and Jerden hadn’t dared to break that silence to suggest that their temporary liaison might eventually become permanent. She probably assumed that once Nate stopped bothering her—perhaps even marrying someone else—she would have no further need of him. Jerden would do whatever it took to eliminate that possibility. A few days ago, she hadn’t liked him any more than she liked Nate. But that was changing. She’d at least agreed to be friends.
He’d used the excuse of inviting the Dackelovs to his party to get a better idea of how successful their performance had been, intending to stop in to see Sara on the way home to report what he’d discovered.
This was even better. Sara probably wouldn’t stay long, and he had no intention of leaving before she did. He would make the most of the opportunity to ride home with her. He smiled to himself. Sara was either going to get really sick of him hanging around or get used to him. And once she got used to him, she might even decide she liked him. If he was
really
lucky, she might even fall in love with him.
Even so, he’d love to be a fly on the wall to hear what she had to say to Bonnie.
As he carried Karsyn down the porch steps and set her in Akira’s saddle, he realized that Lynx had something that he’d only just discovered he wanted. A wife. Children. A home. To have children of his own who weren’t being raised on distant worlds by women he’d only spent an hour or so with had a very strong appeal. He wanted to be with
one
woman; to get to know her, inside and out, delighting in the fact that she would probably still surprise him on occasion.