Authors: Unknown
We’d decided to go to Chicago Premium Outlets Mall and had already hit Aldo, Dooney & Burke and the Coach store. Now Angie was convincing me that I needed new sneakers for our first run together in the morning. I took the Nike runner shoes and winter-weather running gear up to the counter.
At least if I pass out I’ll look like I know what I’m doing.
I thought as I stacked the items in front of the sales clerk.
When I mentioned to Angie that I wanted to run a half marathon, she was quick to tell me there would be one in six weeks and that we needed to start training right away.
It’s a good thing I’ve been running five miles a day on the treadmill.
Sure, I’d slacked the past few weeks, ok more like the last couple of months but Angie had assured me my stamina would build quickly even though running outdoors was very different from running on a treadmill. “Yeah, you’re gonna need these shoes out there on the pavement and those clothes too.” Angie said with a smile that told me I’d understand her statements soon enough. I didn’t bother to inquire. I just swiped my card and signed the signature pad.
“Hey Ange, would you be interested in going to the beach with me?” I asked as we exited the store.
“In the dead of winter? Umm, that would be a hell no!”
“It would be out of town in maybe Florida or somewhere like that,” I said hoping the thought of warm weather would win her over.
“Oh! Florida could be cool. You know we just came back from Vegas which was our ‘annual girls’ trip’ so how soon are we talking?” Angie asked quizzically. She knew I was plotting something more than just an escape from winter in Chicago.
“I was thinking soon, like November. Before you say anything, I know we just got back from vacation, but we could go down for your birthday!” Yet another bribe.
“So, what exactly will we be doing in Florida or wherever? What are we going for
besides my birthday
and are you going to invite the other girls?” Now Angie wasn’t just questioning. She was suspicious. I knew if I fed her anymore bullshit she’d back out completely.
“Well… I was thinking about going to a
nude
beach.” I braced for Angie’s reply.
“Now wait,” Angie’s eyes were wide with disbelief.
Here it comes.
“You want me to go all the way to Florida with you to go see some old people show their bare asses?! I’m not so sure about that one! What gave you the sudden urge to do that? Wait, is this a part of your ‘bucket list’ thing? I must admit, looking at a bunch of nudists is quite an adventure. No telling what you could see out there!” Angie’s face was twisted into a mix of a concerned scowl and disgust. “Yeah, I’m in!” She chuckled.
“Great!” There was more and I knew this part would be a hard sell. “Are you gonna get naked too?”
“Now why would I do that? Erin, if you want to go down to Florida to get naked with a beach full of strangers, that’s fine with me. I’ll go with you and I promise to laugh my ass off, but that is as far as my commitment goes!”
I mustered up my most pitiful puppy dog eyes and pouty mouth before I commenced to begging. “Pleeease?! I know it’s my bucket list, but I need some support. It’s not like you’re going to see any of the people again. Will you at least agree to think about it?”
Angie stood there blinking at me with a blank expression. She didn’t seem at all phased by my plea and I didn’t want her to decide not to go at all so I pitched a plea bargain. “Ok, you can just come and watch me walk around on the beach naked. Who knows, you may see someone there that
inspires
you to take your clothes off!”
That’s it. Bribe her with potential “man candy.”
“Now that’s true,” Angie gave me a mischievous eyebrow raise. “After all, I’m married, not dead!” The possibility of buff naked bodies had helped to guarantee me a travel buddy. I settled on that for now.
I’ll win her over once we get there.
“Let’s go get something to eat. I’m exhausted from all this shopping and hungry too.” I hadn’t eaten anything all day because, despite the fact that I’d consumed nearly a bottle of tequila the day before, I’d somehow managed not to hurl and wanted to keep it that way. We decided to go to Bubba Gumps and headed in that direction.
“So,” Angie began. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to Mike? I know we couldn’t talk at the bar the other night, but you never told me what happened with you guys in Vegas or how it ended in your break up with Josh.”
“Wellll, I sort of slept with Mike and Josh found out about it. That day I left work, when I came home all of his stuff was gone. He found a bandana that Mike had given me in Vegas and I actually slipped up and told on myself.”
“Ok, back up! You
sort
of slept with Mike in Vegas and then
slipped
and told Josh? Wow! Hold on, define sort of,” Angie gave me a sideward glare that said she knew there was more to it than I was letting on.
“Let’s just say we left very few stones unturned in the sex department.” Just talking about him caused my body to respond. I shut off the instant replay that began in my mind and ignored the distant ache growing in the pit of my belly.
Focus on the conversation at hand.
“Oh really?! So did he let you do your thing or did he have the same reaction as Josh?” I could feel the blush kissing my cheeks as I fought against my smile. “Yes, he did. At the time, that was one thing that was missing for me and he fulfilled it, but it ended up being more than that. He ignited a fire and passion in me, but not just sexually. It’s like I got a new thirst for life. All of this –the stuff with Josh and Mike- has sparked up desire in me. I want to be a better person than I was to Josh and more of the person I was with Mike. I honestly don’t know what the future holds, but right now I’m trying to focus on me. It’s all gotten so complicated and mainly because I tried to have something I wasn’t ready for. Whoever I end up with, I want to make sure I’m ready to be all in. I had a long talk with Josh yesterday and we’re in a peaceful place. We’ve agreed to be friends. I’m glad about that.”
“Ok, so do you think you’d want to be with Josh or Mike when it’s all said and done? Angie asked.
“Mike and I are undoubtedly sexually compatible, but at this point I haven’t really had a chance to know if there could be anything else. He has a five-year-old son that lives with him, he works full time for Triple AAA and is a part-time musician. Everything on paper would say that we are in very different places in our lives, but when I’m with him, I can’t explain it, it feels
real.
”
“So Mike has a son. Have you met him?”
I smirked.
Now I know how Mike felt. I said all that and she asks about Mike’s son.
“No, not yet, he wants me to. Actually, he said he would wait for me to let him know when I’m ready. He told me he would do whatever is necessary to make me happy, no matter what that may be.”
“Well, it sounds like he really likes you Erin. Are you guys gonna go on another date at least or are you trying not to date until you finish your ‘quest for consciousness,'” Angie had her hands flat in her lap palms up with her index finger and thumb touching like she was meditating.
“Keep your hands on the wheel!!” I chided.
This bitch is crazy.
It was alright though because she was my kind of crazy. “You have a lot of names for this thing I’m doing, huh? I think I’m searching for clarity and peace.” I mimicked her meditative posture and we laughed.
“You know I’m just giving you a hard time,” Angie stated. “Seriously though, whenever you meet Mike’s kid that will clarify a whole lot of things about your relationship status. If the two of you don’t get along it’ll force
everyone
to reevaluate where things are headed.” Angie chuckled light-heartedly. She had a valid point. Since I didn’t know if or when that might happen, I decided I’d cross that bridge when I came to it.
No sense worrying about it right now.
After lunch, Angie drove me home and helped unload the masses of bags I’d accumulated from our shopping spree. She was shocked when I told her she could have all the wine in my wine rack. “You feeling ok?” Angie asked, pressing the back of her hand against my forehead. I swatted it away playfully.
“I’m good. I’m just gonna cool it on the drinking for a while.”
Angie didn’t protest. She just nodded her understanding, bagged up the six bottles and walked to her car. I followed behind her and gave her a tight hug before she got in her car. “Thank you for today. You always know exactly what I need.” A warm smile spread across my face and Angie returned it as she backed out of the driveway. Before she pulled off she said, “We’ll see if you feel the same when I wake your ass up at four in the morning!”
*****
True to her word Angie had my phone buzzing promptly at 4 a.m. I felt like I had outsmarted her because I showered and dressed the night before, but none of that mattered to my body! It was reluctant, sluggish and downright insubordinate as I tried to will it to move from the comfort of my bed. I fought hard for about five minutes before I finally submitted.
I’m ready so I can lay here for a few more minutes.
Before I knew it, I was being awakened by the repeated ringing of the doorbell. The clock on my phone read four forty-five! I jumped up, ran in the bathroom, squeezed a dollop of toothpaste on my toothbrush and jogged down the stairs. On the other side of the door stood Angie with her hand on her hip and a smirk on her face. “Tell me how much you love me now.” She set her eyes on the toothbrush still dangling in my mouth. “Are you really standing there brushing your teeth in the doorway? I know I called you almost an hour ago! Go on and finish. I’ll wait for you in the car. It’s a good thing the park is close!” Angie walked back to her car and got in. I dashed into the powder room and did a quick rinse and spit. On the way out, I grabbed keys, water and a towel before slamming the door behind me.
Ten minutes later we arrived at the park. As I looked around I saw an array of women stretching and chatting in the parking lot. Some wore basic running clothes, others were decked out in
Black Girls Run
paraphernalia.
If I become a regular with this group, I am definitely getting some BGR swag.
Angela introduced me to a couple of the ladies who greeted me with warm smiles. At promptly 5a.m. the women began a slow trot around the park trail. At the midway mark, a bunch of them picked up the pace while others maintained the low-key stride.
It looks like the goal here isn’t to up, but to keep going.
I liked the idea of that. I settled into my own rhythm as my feet kept cadence. The sound of each pat against the pavement lulled me into a quiet place in my mind. I listened to the pattern of my breath. For the first time in a long while, my mind was free of anything but the present moment. I felt the flex of each muscle as it worked to propel me forward. My lungs were open and active as each breath birthed a new invigoration and vibrancy to my body. I felt… alive.
All of that quickly changed somewhere around the middle of the second lap around the park. I could feel my thigh muscles tightening as I rounded the corner to the straight-away. My chest was on fire even though the air outside was cool and crisp. Sweat pooled between my breasts and buttocks and the only rhythm I could hear was the pounding of my heart as my pulse radiated through my head. Angie turned and gave me a knowing glance. “It’s kinda different from the treadmill, huh?”
Is she seriously expecting me to respond?!
I could barely equip my lungs with the oxygen they needed to continue their function. Surely Angie didn’t expect me to waste it talking to her! I opted for an eye roll and pulled out my iPod. I had prepared an eclectic group of songs just for this occasion. I settled back into my even pattern as Journey chimed in with
Don’t Stop Believin.'
They were followed by the Black Eyed Peas
Let’s Get It Started
and Destiny’s Child’s
Survivor.
I lost track of what came after that as I focused not on finishing first, but simply finishing. I put my head down and pressed forward into the incline of the hill before me. It was at that moment I noticed the lose laces flapping on my right shoe. I stepped aside out of the path of oncoming runners and bent down to tie the dangling strings. I was preparing to stand when I noticed a pair of sneakers beside me that had stopped moving. For a second, my instinct was to panic and I balled up my fists, prepared to swing on whoever was invading my personal space. My mood quickly changed when I looked up and found Mike standing there in light gray sweat pants, a fitted gray Under Armor shirt and a black weatherproof North Face running jacket. The breath caught in my chest and I tried to resist the urge to cough but my lungs were determined not to be denied oxygen. I put my hands on my hips to open my airway as my eyes ogled the rise and fall of Mike’s chest. I stared at the dampened shirt that peeked from beneath his jacket and before I could catch myself, I glanced down at the semi-hard mass beneath his sweats.
Oh no! Don’t go there!
I snapped my gaze back up to his face and realized I still had yet to utter a word to him. I popped out one of my ear buds and said, “Hi. I didn’t know you ran at this park.” I tried my best to be nonchalant, but when he flashed that sexy-assed smile I felt myself slowly unraveling.
He eyed me with amusement and replied “Well you wouldn’t know that because you’ve never run here before.”
“And how exactly do you know that sir,” I asked.
Mike stepped in a bit closer and whispered in my ear, “Because,
trust me,
I would have remembered.”
Instantly I felt the heat of his breath wrap around my ear, sending an immediate message down my neck, into my back, over my ass, around my thighs and straight into my now simmering flesh. He had touched me without laying a hand on me.
Keep it together Erin.
I gazed up at him coyly, using every ounce of my resolve, smiled and said, “Well, I run here now.” I tucked the ear bud back in my ear and tried not to collapse on my jellied legs as I jogged off after my group.
I did it!
I praised myself internally. I had managed to maintain my composure in Mike’s presence and left him standing there with his mouth agape.