Authors: Angie Daniels

When It Rains... (24 page)

BOOK: When It Rains...

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As soon as they reached the last door, Sasha turned to her and smiled. “Ready?”

Honey nodded.

Sasha opened the door and moved aside so her friend could step in first.

Honey walked in, and her heart swelled in her chest. It was the nursery for the baby.

The room was painted a pastel pink with balloons stenciled on all the walls. Balloons made from satin hung from the ceilings, and plush rose carpeting coveredthe floor. Moving across the room, Honey rubbed her hand along the white antique crib, noting the colorful balloon mobile at one end and windup music box at the other. Inside the crib was a comforter and sheet set that matched the dÃ©cor, as well as several stuffed animals. The rest of the furnishings consisted of a wooden rockingchair, a changing table, and a tall white dresser.

“What do you think?” Sasha asked.

Eyes misty and voice full of emotion, Honey said, “It's beautiful.”

“You think so? Mom and I spent hours getting this room together. She made all of the accessories. Terraineand Jay did all the labor. Can you believe it?”

Honey nodded, a sob lodged in her throat.

“I think Jay was more excited about getting this room together than we were. Maybe he's ready to have a family of his own.” She brushed against Honey playfullyand winked. “Hint, hint.”

“That's nice.” Honey moved away, reached for a yellowblanket draped over the rocker, and rubbed the softness against her cheek.

“What's going on with you and Jay?”

Honey looked down, lips twitching. She couldn't speak, afraid if she did the dam would give way.

Sasha's eyes flickered over her face. She hadn't missed the dark circles under her eyes. “I know how you feel about him.”

“No, you don't,” Honey said softly. “You couldn't begin to know.”

“So why don't you tell me?”

The only thing to do was change the damn subject. “What's in here?” Honey asked, and moved to the closet and opened it.

Sasha removed one of several outfits hanging in the closet. “Isn't this adorable?” She was referring to a frilly peach dress with a matching bonnet.

Honey took it in her hands. The material was so soft, and the dress tiny.
A little life.
She couldn't wait to hold her godchild in her arms. A tear spilled over, and she quickly moved away to hang it back in the closet. “Are you ready?”

Sasha sighed, her eyes glowing. “As ready as I will ever be. I'm so nervous. I don't know the first thing about babies.”

Honey moved to embrace her. “You're going to be a wonderful mother.” When they pulled apart, Sasha's eyes were cloudy.

“I hope so. Thank God I have my mother.”

Clenching her eyes closed, Honey tried to keep back the flood of tears burning in their depths.

“You're going to be a wonderful mother someday yourself,” Sasha said.

Honey shook her head, and the tears started flowing.

Sasha's face creased with concern. “What's the matter?”

Honey began to cry outright now. Sasha took her by the hand and moved down the hall to the master bedroom,took a seat on the massive poster bed, and patted the spot next to her. “Sit,” she commanded. Leaning over, she reached for a box of tissues from the nightstand and handed it to Honey. “Are you gonna tell me what's been botherin' you?”

Honey mopped her eyes again and swallowed hard before answering. “I can't have children.”

Sasha's concern turned to a look of dazed disbelief. “What doâ” She stopped, paused, then gasped, “Why?”

Honey's eyes locked with Sasha's. “Remember Walter?”she said, her voice breaking.

Sasha thought for several seconds, then her mind registered. “The football player?”

Honey nodded. “Our senior year ... that mothafucka raped me,” she said quietly, tears flooding her eyes.

“Oh no!” Sasha shook her head, horrified, and mutteredsomething under her breath. She reached over and embraced Honey while her friend poured out years of bottled-up pain. “Oh my God,” she cried, her own eyes flooding with tears. “All these years, I ... I thought you were promiscuous, and you let me believe that. I'm so sorry!”

“I know you didn't mean it,” Honey replied in a voice drawn and sad. Sasha held on to her until her cries subsided to soft sobs. Then Honey eased herself away, reached for another tissue, and blew her nose.

“Why'd you keep this bottled up inside?” Sasha said, hurt that Honey hadn't trusted her. “I'm your best friend. I would have understood.”

“I tried to shut it out ... pretend the shit never happened,”Honey admitted.

Sasha hesitated, tears splashing down her face. “Does Jay know?”

Her eyes grew large with fear. “No, he doesn't, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell him.” She wouldn't be able to stand it if she saw a look of pity in his eyes.

Sasha, still holding Honey's hand, nodded. The movement shook loose fresh tears. “I can assume that's the reason why you won't let him get close to you.”

Honey nodded.

“You know, he loves you.”

Lowering her eyes, Honey took a deep breath, hopingto stem the fresh flow streaming down her face. “How do you know that?” she asked, even though deep down she'd known all along how he felt about her.

“We've all known how much he loves you,” Sasha said, smiling to show Honey comfort even though her heart filled with pain. “It's written all over his face. I also know you love
him
.”

Honey sighed, refraining from making eye contact.

“Quit fighting it, Honey. You deserve to be happy.” Sasha lifted her chin, forcing Honey's eyes to meet hers. The pain she witnessed made her stomach cringe. “I remember when I was in your shoes, letting Robby control my life. I didn't think I was worthy of anyone's love after that relationship. But you refused to let me wallow in self-pity. Now I look back and see that I almostlost the best thing to ever happen to me, loving Terraine.” She touched Honey's hand. “You can't quit living. Don't you see? If you deny yourself happiness, then Walter has won. Don't let that bastard ruin the rest of your life.”

The words hit home. How many times had her therapisttold her the same thing? She wiped her eyes and slowly nodded. She wanted Jay with a hunger that surpassedmere attraction.

She was in love. But love and trust worked hand in hand. She would have to open up her heart to him. Was she willing to take that chance?

“Allow yourself to love,” Sasha assured her, as if she could read her mind. “Give Jay a chance and you'll see ... he'll understand.”

“Breathe, Kendra!” Natalia yelled as she coached Kendra through another contraction. She continued to count as the contraction peaked, and Kendra released a long breath as if she were blowing out candles on a birthday cake.

Seeing the serious expression on her best friend's face, she ended her breath in a fit of laughter. “Girl, you look like a damn fool,” Kendra cackled.

Natalia stopped counting and pursed her lips. “Don't say anything when you
do
go into labor and you don't have the foggiest idea what you're supposed to do.”

They were attending a Lamaze class. Twelve other couples were spread out on the padded training room floor.

“I feel stupid,” Kendra said with a pout.

“Too bad,” Natalia mumbled under her breath. “Now pay attention.” Natalia turned her focus back to the clinical instructor at the front of the room, who was demonstrating how to bear down and push.

Kendra snorted, and Natalia gave her a look that said to shut the hell up. She was obviously getting into the spirit of the course. Kendra rolled her eyes at Natalia'sdisapproval. She had better things to do with her time than to spend it with a bunch of giddy-looking people.

Her eyes traveled around the room. Besides Natalia, there were two other female coaches. One was a mother accompanying her teenage daughter, so they didn't count. The other lady seemed to be quite pleased that her coach was a woman.
They're probably dykes.
All the other pregnant moms were accompanied by men. Coupleswere holding hands, husbands were rubbing their wives' stomachs, and here she was with her best friend.

“Come on, Kendra.” Natalia waved a hand in front of her face.

“Come on what?”

Natalia sighed. “Weren't you listening? We need to practice pushing.”

“Pushing?” She frowned, then said, “This is stupid.”

“No, it's not! You need to be prepared.”

“Who's gonna remember any of this shit when they're hit by excruciating pain?” she whispered, perplexed.

Natalia's eyes narrowed to slits. “That's why I'm here. Now breathe!”

“Fine.” Huffing, Kendra lay back on the mat with her knees bent. On Natalia's cue, she lifted her shouldersoff the mat, held her breath, and pushed.

“Good job!” Natalia said, and meant it.

“Oh, shut the hell up,” Kendra mumbled, falling back to the floor in disgust. “I feel like Humpty Fuckin' Dumpty!”

Natalia cracked up laughing while Kendra rolled onto her side and sulked like a spoiled-ass brat. She had looked forward to the Lamaze classes when Lawrence had planned to attend them with her. Without him, or Jay for that matter, it just didn't make any sense.

Class was dismissed shortly afterward. Carrying two pillows, Natalia strolled through the building with Kendra. “You have to admit that was fun.”

“For who ... you or me?” she answered stiffly, not liking the fun Natalia was having at her expense.

Natalia curled an arm around her shoulders. “Aw, come on, Kendra, lighten up a little.” A tender smile crossed her lips. “I'll be glad when you have that baby, 'cause you've been trippin'.”

“I can't help it. I'm gonna be doing this all by myself,and I just have to get used to that.” They were passing the information desk on the hospital's main floor. Kendra stopped and took a seat on a wooden bench. “It's okay, though. Jay and I talked, and I know it's over between us.” She kept her lids low, knowing Natalia was watching her carefully. “He even told me he was in love with someone else.”

Natalia slid in next to her. “He told you that?”

Kendra shrugged nonchalantly. “Yes, he did.” She kept her dark lashes down over her eyes. “I'm okay with it.”

“Wow!” Natalia cried, amazed. She was going to have a long talk with Jay when he returned. Then her brow bunched in confusion. “Are you feeling okay? I thought you wanted me to help you to get him back?”

Kendra carefully raised her eyes. “Do you think I still have a chance?”

Natalia squirmed in her seat. “I don't know,” she said, feeling uncomfortable discussing Jay's personal life.

“Tell me, Nat. I can take it. Do you really believe he's in love?”

Remembering the way his face lit up when he talked about Honey, she didn't hesitate with her response. “Yes.”

Kendra looked so pitiful. Natalia's eyes rested on her with deep affection and sympathy. She knew Kendra's pain; her own feelings since the breakup with Jacob were still too raw to discuss with anyone.

“Kendra, I love you both and only want to see everyonehappy, but I can't lie to you. Jay loves Honey,” she said, sorry to have to tell her, yet knowing it was necessary.

The sneaky bastard.
Kendra tried to disguise her envy. “Honey ... that's a pretty name. Is she good for him?”

Natalia didn't answer for a long minute, and Kendra thought maybe she could see through her ploy for information.

Finally, Natalia shrugged, palms up. “I haven't met her yet, but I'm hoping to drop by her salon and find out for myself.”

“Salon?” Kendra echoed.
He's dating a hairdresser. Talk about uneducated.
“Which one?”

“Don't even go there,” Natalia warned, realizing she'd said too much. Since her breakup, she'd found herself making a lot of careless mistakes.

Kendra batted her eyes innocently and said, “I was just askin'.” It wasn't like she couldn't call every salon in town until she found where the hoochie worked. “I wonder how she feels about me being pregnant and all.”

Natalia pondered the situation a moment. “I don't know if she knows.”

“Hmmm, that's too bad.” Feeling a sudden burst of energy, Kendra rose again.
I think it's time she fuckin' found out.

BOOK: When It Rains...

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