“Hey, Summer,” I said. “I don’t feel like work today. I’m going to call in sick.”
Her lips pressed into a disapproving smirk. “You shouldn’t let your professional life suffer when your personal life goes bad.”
My eyes pressed closed, and I did not curse at her. “Thanks. I’ll remember that when I have a real job.”
Her brow lined. “You don’t get paid at the paper?”
“Yes, I get paid.”
“Then it sounds like a real job to me.”
I wondered if I could get away with accidentally hitting Summer with my car. “You’re right,” I said. “I should be more responsible. Let’s go.”
We arrived at the office in Fairview, and Nancy was nice enough to remember Summer from her last visit. “I liked those pictures you sent over,” she said. “I could give you some freelance jobs if you’re interested.”
“Sure!” Summer was practically bouncing. “Whatcha got?”
“Come in my office, and I’ll show you.”
I couldn’t believe Nancy was giving Summer a job. I couldn’t believe I’d contaminated my workplace like this.
“Oh, Anna?” Nancy called back. “Bill Kyser called for you. He said he’d be around this week if you wanted to return that paper? Do you know what he’s talking about?”
“Yeah,” I nodded, dropping into the chair at the little makeshift desk we’d put together at the beginning of last semester. “Thanks. I’ll take care of it.”
The old computer was still covered in yellowing papers, and mail was piling up around it. I grabbed a letter opener and started slicing the top off the envelopes. I hadn’t been keeping up with all the press releases, but I decided now was as good a time as any to bury myself in them.
I was halfway through tossing items more than two weeks old when Summer returned. “Thanks for letting me come with you,” she said.
“Sure,” I said, checking dates.
“It’s going to be fun working together,” she continued. “Don’t you think?”
I nodded not looking up.
“So Nancy said you got a call from Bill Kyser. That’s Jack’s dad, isn’t it?”
“Um-hm,” I said.
“Was it something with Jack?”
“What?” I finally looked up at her. She was watching me curiously. “No. It’s nothing. Just a paper he gave me when I was helping Nancy with the bicentennial insert. He needs me to return it.”
“Anything newsworthy?” she pressed. “Want me to go with you and take a picture of you giving it back?”
I almost laughed out loud at the thought. “No. It’s nothing.”
“Bill Kyser, the richest, most powerful man in East End Beach calls you, and you say it’s nothing?” Her eyes were huge.
“Jeez, Summer. You make it sound like the president called.” I slammed the press releases down and stood. “Our job is to talk to people who make things happen in the community. They’re going to call us back. That’s how it works.”
“But you said you didn’t do any writing on the bicentennial insert. How does that work?”
I looked at her for a second. Why was she pressing so hard on this? I knew Summer’s personality was obnoxious, but this seemed too much. Even for her.
Suddenly, I had an idea. “The truth is,” I lowered my voice as if I were telling her a big secret, “he loaned me this book about East End Beach. I think it was a very expensive first edition, and I lost it. What should I do?”
She leaned back as if she hadn’t expected me to say that. “Tell him?”
“But like you just said, he’s so rich and powerful,” I continued, trying to sound really anxious. “What if he gets mad at me?”
“Want me to help you look for it?” She stood. “Maybe it’s under all this junk…”
“No.” I shook my head. “I looked there already.”
“Does Nancy know?” She continued lifting stacks of papers, and I watched her little wild goose chase a moment.
“No, and please don’t tell her,” I said. “Please don’t tell
anyone
.”
“Okay,” she said with a shrug. “Then I guess I’d better get going.”
I watched her go with suspicion, wondering what she was up to. If she were spying on me for some reason, that fake book routine would expose her. I just had to wait and see who showed up saying they knew I was looking for an expensive first edition belonging to Mr. Kyser.
My moment of intrigue got me through the rest of the day, but when I finally made it back to my house, all my former emotions hit me strong as ever. I walked into my bedroom, and the first thing I saw was my window. I strode over to it and turned the lock. If it was over, there was no use having my bedroom window unlocked.
Then I turned to my desk and pulled out the Loyola envelope. Mom and Dad had been so proud and excited when I’d finally shown it to them. I took out the letter and read it again. My tuition would be paid in full as long as I maintained my grade point average. I also had a campus job if I wanted it. I’d forgotten to ask Nancy about the status of me working at the New Orleans paper, but I’d talk to her about it tomorrow. I started reading about college, and soon my eyes were filling. I crawled under my quilt and refused to let myself cry.
The next day, I adopted a determined stride as I approached our shared class. I walked right through the door, past my teacher’s raised eyebrows, but when I reached Montage’s old desk, I froze. Julian was leaning back in the chair. Montage was sitting at the desk in front of it, and the two were laughing.
Julian looked up at me. “Can I help you?” he said.
My jaw dropped as my stomach twisted into painful knots. I couldn’t believe he could sit there acting happy. Without a word, I turned and went to his old seat and put my books down. The relocated kid was in my former chair. I opened my textbook and started reading the explanation of formulas I’d barely noticed a week ago. It felt like a pill was stuck in my throat, but after that entrance, after him actually being able to
laugh
, I’d be damned if I let Julian see how miserable I was.
I knew from experience that if I held on, the pain I felt practically every minute of every day would gradually begin to fade. Over the break, I’d had Julian to distract me from losing Jack. I didn’t have anyone to distract me from losing Julian. That made me worry it might take longer, until I got to lunch and saw Summer happily waiting for me at the senior table.
“Hi, Anna!” she chirped. “I had a great idea for finding that book.”
My forehead wrinkled. “What?” Then I remembered my ruse yesterday.
“You could call Jack and tell him! I bet he’d help you figure out the title, and then you could replace it.”
I shook my head, sitting down. “I’m not calling Jack.”
“But you’re friends, right?” Her voice was starting to feel like a rash on my skin. Irritating. “I saw you talking to him at the game. I bet he’d be glad to help you.”
My eyes flashed to hers. “Why were you following me at the game?”
She laughed. “I wasn’t following you. I just saw you there, and I saw you talking to Jack.”
I shook my head, evaluating my repeat, cold-sandwich lunch. “We just bumped into each other.”
“Is that what happened with Julian?” She went on, stirring the contents of her thermos. “He got mad because you were talking to Jack?”
I dropped the sandwich then. “Listen, Summer. You’re going to have to stop being such a pushy pain in the ass if we’re going to be friends, got it?”
She actually looked surprised by my words. “I don’t understand.”
“Stop telling me what you think I ought to do, and stop meddling in my private life.”
She stopped eating and was quiet. For a moment I felt bad. I almost apologized, knowing my delivery had been extra harsh because of how I was feeling about Julian, but unexpectedly she brightened up. “Okay,” she said and went back to eating.
I just stared at her. I couldn’t figure Summer out, and then I had the strangest thought. Maybe I’d been making things harder than they needed to be with her. We finished lunch, and I collected my things. The bell was ringing, and she happily packed up, telling me bye before heading to class.
I walked away completely puzzled. I was frowning when I opened the door and nearly ran right into Julian.
Jesus!
“Oh, sorry,” he said, hands in his pockets. I studied them, wondering if he ever looked at his little dragonfly tattoo. If when he saw it he thought of me and missed me as badly as I missed him. “You’re eating lunch with Summer now?” he said.
I nodded, not looking up. “So?”
“So I don’t have to hang out in the quad.” The softness in his voice made my chest ache.
Why was he doing this?
“I don’t mind sitting with Scotty or Blake during lunch. I know Summer makes you crazy.”
“Thanks.” I whispered. Those pains were back, shooting through my stomach. I had to get out of here before I lost it. “She’s not so bad.”
I hurried to my next class without looking behind me.
I didn’t have any more run-ins with Julian after that, and even Summer toned down her game of twenty questions. I chided myself for not saying something to her sooner once I realized how easy it was to get her off my case.
By Friday, I’d decided to join Rachel with Brad in the quad. As promised, Julian was nowhere to be seen.
“Hey! I’ve missed you, roomie!” Rachel said with a smile. “’bout time you rejoined the group.”
“Thanks.”
“How’s it going?”
“Okay, I guess.” I looked down. Brad glanced over at me and then back to Rachel.
She smiled. “Can I do anything?”
“Yeah,” I said, feeling a strange surge of empowerment. “Tell me about this bonfire you’ve been planning all semester. What’s the deal?”
She perked up at that. “It’s going to be
so
great. It’s just for the seniors, but you can bring a date… or not.” She gave me a worried look, as if she expected me to instantly break down sobbing.
“Can I bring a friend?” I said quickly, wanting her to resume talking.
“Of course! And your date—or friend—can be any grade.”
I nodded. “I think it’s a neat tradition you’re starting.”
She suddenly seemed excited again. “So are you coming?”
“Sure.” I studied my sandwich, still not hungry. “And it’s tomorrow night?”
“Yep! First Saturday of spring break.”
“Good. And it’s still cool enough for a bonfire,” I said, putting my lunch back in my bag. I wondered when I’d feel like eating again.
“Great for snuggling.” She grinned leaning back against Brad. I smiled and looked down. “Oh, sorry.” She straightened up again.
“No! It is. You’re right. It’s great weather for snuggling.” My throat ached, and I wanted to cry saying the words. “See ya there.”
I decided to stick to the cafeteria in the future. It was great seeing my old friends, but sitting there with them reminded me too much of Julian. And watching Brad and Rachel be affectionate with each other was like a kick in the stomach that left me weak and winded. I walked inside and made my way to where Summer was sitting.
She glanced up as I approached, and I could tell she was ready to launch the cross-examination. “I thought you were eating with Rachel today?”
“I was,” I said, sitting beside my new… friend? “She mentioned the bonfire tomorrow. You going?”
“Probably not.” She looked down, stirring the contents of her ever-present thermos. “I don’t have a date.”
“Me either. But it sounds like fun. Want to ride over together?”
Her eyes blinked mine. “Really?”
“Sure, why not?”
“I’ll be at your house at seven!”
The bell rang, and the mood on campus shifted in a palpable way. It was as if everyone realized at the same time we were only a few hours away from the last break of the year, and a distinct giddiness swept over the campus. The only problem was my broken heart was impervious to it.
I watched my fellow classmates beaming at each other and acting like they were hopped up on moon pies and felt distinctly like the odd ball. It was as if I’d been transported to another world where the inhabitants were all happy, smiling sunbeams, and I was a little black cloud. I hugged my books closer to my chest and walked to my locker, wondering if anyone would notice if I left. I removed the books I needed to study for exams, closed my locker, and walked to my car. I’d never cut school in my life, but I got in the car, cranked the engine, and drove home.
The house was empty when I got there, and it was cold because the heater had been turned off. I didn’t bother to turn it on. I simply dropped my books on the counter and walked up the stairs. I lowered the shades in my room, pulled off my boots, and climbed under the blankets. In a few minutes, I was asleep.
Chapter 17
When I opened my eyes again it was the next day. I was still wearing my school clothes, and I’d slept all night. Alone. I fought against the sadness that tried to rush over me like a wave. Mom was downstairs making coffee, so I went down and sat at the bar.
She looked up and poured me a cup. “Want to talk about it now?” she asked.