Authors: Charlotte Mills
July
Friday
My phone rang as I lay in bed, the thought of listening to
Nat crying down the phone again made me bury my head under a pillow, but it
wouldn’t stop ringing regretfully I answered it, a happier Nat this time, or at
least I thought at first. After apologising for yesterday where I duly informed
her she had nothing to apologise for she gradually fell in to the pit of
despair. Feeling the emotion well up inside me once more I listened to her
regrets and disagreements she had had with dad as tears streamed down my face
for the second day in a row.
Should I cancel pull a sickie to save face or at least put
some proper clothes on, it was almost 7 when I looked at the clock, there was
no time to change I caught a fleeting glance of myself in the mirror as the
doorbell rang. I felt self-conscious as I opened the front door, meeting Sam’s
eyes only briefly before looking at the lopsided door mat praying it wasn’t too
obvious I was avoiding her eyes. “Hey ...come on in”. I motioned with my free
hand looking down the hall.
“Glad to see you’ve dressed for the occasion”. She dropped
out as she walked by.
“Thank you...I’m glad my efforts haven’t gone unnoticed”.
Realising this was what I needed I, was glad I hadn’t cancelled I smiled as I
followed her into the kitchen. Sam could always bring a smile to my face
whether she realised it or not.
“Drink”. I said reaching for my half-drunk glass of red
wine.
“Started without me?....Yes please.....bad day?” She said
eyeing me as I got another wine glass from the cupboard and filled it
generously.
“Not great”. I said taking a sip of wine, I wasn’t ready to
talk about it either so I changed the subject. “I’ve got the laptop set up in
the other room to look at that spreadsheet thing”.
“We can do this another time if you’d rather?” She sounded
concerned which just made it worse I washed down the lump in my throat with
another gulp of wine.
“No its fine I want to help”. I picked up the bottle and
motioned for Sam to follow me into the other room.
“So what’ve you been doing today?” Sam enquired fishing for
info on my appearance. Play it cool. “Not much bit of work ... extreme exercise
session requiring the hottest bath in the world hence my attire”. Very
convincing I thought, well hoped. My focus regained I set to work on the
explanation of the settings on Excel and how to integrate other documents.
Sam placed her hand on top of mine getting my attention, I
looked deep in to those green eyes. “I’m really grateful for all the help
you’ve given me you know with the course and getting the job at Hopkins”.
“It was all your hard work...I just pushed you in the right
direction”. I felt her full focus on me it was startling.
“I couldn’t have done it without you I really appreciate
it”.
I grinned thankful for her words. “Thank you.....now...what
do you want for dinner, Chinese, pizza or Indian?”
Deciding on pizza we ordered one with pulled pork and one
peperoni, with a delivery time of twenty minutes we talked about Sam’s
workload, with her final assignment to be handed in next week. She seemed to be
getting on well with the people she was working with at Hopkins, even the big
boss. Sam answered the door while I got plates, we ate in relative silence
except for the soft jazz in the background, I could feel Sam’s eyes on me the
whole time. I reached for my glass, disappointed it was already empty, another
bottle? Not a good idea. “Cup of tea?” I said my decision made fearful of the
outcome of more wine in my current mood.
“I’ll make it...just need to nip to the loo first”. She said
as she left the room.
I tidied the pizza boxes away taking them into the kitchen
and flicking the kettle on. Sam found me making tea in the kitchen moving
behind me she put her arms around my waist gently hugging me, I let out a deep
breath and relaxed against her taking in the warmth of her body I had really
missed this.
Moving my hands from tea making duties I placed them on top
of hers, snuggling into my neck she lightly whispering into my ear. “When are
you going to tell me what’s upset you today?”
I was shocked but not surprised by her directness, but after
all that work trying to get rid of my red rimmed eyes what a waste of time jogging,
hot bath, no doubt she spotted it as soon as I opened the front door.
I took a deep breath, moving round in Sam’s arms I attempted
to make eye contact but could only hold them briefly, embarrassed about my
puffy eyes I looked out the window at the warm glow from houses in the
distance, I’d even forgot to close the blinds.
Sam’s height made for a very comforting hug, she moved a
stray strand of hair behind my ear and patiently waited for me to start. I
could feel my eyes begin to water at her gentle touch, I rested my forehead on
Sam’s shoulder to prevent her from seeing my tears.
Her hand moved up my back gently rubbing it, in an effort I
thought to encourage me to burp it out and comfort me at the same time.
“I…..I think I’m just a bit over emotional at the moment……my
brother in law is away which makes my sister a bit uneasy sometimes, she phoned
me yesterday in tears, not sure what set her off but she was talking about dad
and how much she missed him....since then it’s been a bit dicey watching TV or
reading everything seems to send me blubbing...I couldn’t even watch ’Ted’ last
night I thought I’d try a bit of comedy but no….when he dies….I”.
I looked up to see a small smile creep across Sam’s face no
doubt thinking about crying at a potty mouthed teddy bear, she bent her head
and placed a light kiss on my neck whispering. “And today what were you
watching to get those eyes so red?”
Worried I would sound like a total nut case, should I tell
the truth or inform her of my inability to watching ET without weeping.
“Well….I thought I was alright today…then my sister phoned again for another
chat she was still a bit down…….she wouldn’t stop talking about the times we
went on holiday as kids….I don’t know why it bothered me so much I’m over that really....I
offered to go over to see her but she didn’t want me to....saying I was too
much like dad”. Hoping I sounded a little more level headed than I looked.
“It’s normal to fell emotional sometimes it’s nothing to be
ashamed of”.
Although I appreciated her efforts to comfort me, I still
felt ridiculous. She held me a little tighter nestling into my neck probably
regretting ever asking the question now. It was now or never, I pulled away
looking at Sam through watery eyes confused how I could have any more tears.
”It’s you too….” I barely whispered.
She looked down at me, as I tipped my head up to meet her
eyes seeing a frown develop on her forehead questioning my statement. “What do
you mean?”
I steeled myself to look deep into Sam’s eyes looking for
assurance for what I was about to say. “You’re making me emotional”. I
whispered, there it was out - will it be fight or flight - flight, if she had
any sense considering the state of me.
A shy smile began to form on Sam’s face showing her dimples
on her left cheek, she moved her hand from behind my back wiping away a
rebellious tear, cupping my face she moved her thumb to brush over my lips
looking back into my eyes she slowly dipped her head. “You’re making me
emotional too”. She whispered against my lips before placing a soft kiss on the
side of my face, then another on my lips.
Moving back slightly to get a full view of Sam’s face
checking her eyes to verify her last statement, I couldn’t hide the warmth that
I felt inside, I leaned forward kissing her lightly at first, then more deeply
as she responded to my advances. I moved my hand slipping it underneath her
shirt gently caressing her stomach with the back of my hand moving my hand to
the small of her back I gently slipped it underneath the waistband of her jeans.
Bringing my hand around the front I softly stroked the front of her underwear
making Sam break away with a slight gasp. Her eyes had become dark as we kissed
again more slowly than before, my lips parted allowing Sam’s tongue access
where it began gently chasing mine around in my mouth. It seemed to go on
forever, or would have done had Sam’s phone not interrupted us.
Sam retrieved her phone from her back pocket looking
slightly flushed – did I look like that? Cancelling the call she placed the phone
on the kitchen worktop, our eyes meeting again I managed to smile my way
through my embarrassed and now flushed appearance.
She place her arms back around me in a loose hug looking me
in the eye. “I think we should take it slow….I really like you and I don’t want
to ruin it before it’s had a chance….”.
I tried to hide my disappointment, but I was hardly in a
position to object and rip her clothes off right here considering my appearance
and our recent discussion of dad. I couldn’t blame her I probably would have
done the same thing.
“Will you be okay tonight?.....I’ve not really see you like
this before I’m a bit worried about you?”
“I’ll be fine honestly....just embarrassed I blubbed”. I
felt myself begin to redden again.
“Don’t be....there’s nothing wrong with having a good cry”.
She said pulling me into a hug as we got to the front door.
“I’d better get going I’ve got a meeting with Mike tomorrow
morning at the hostel”.
“Are you in troub?” I smiled in an effort to lighten the
mood.
“Just a catch up I think....I haven’t seen him for a bit”.
After saying our good byes I shut the door leaning against
it felt like I had ruined what could have been a great evening, I felt such an
idiot disappointed with the outcome, and my behaviour. While tidying up in the
kitchen I pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I had blown it. I
considered a night cap but thought better of it considering the day I had had,
I decided bed was my only option.
Saturday
I woke late from a restless night worrying about the new Sam
developments, why didn’t I just cancel to prevent her from witnessing my
emotional meltdown?
After a late breakfast, I worked till mid-afternoon on the
computer trying to stay focused long enough to send numerous emails to friends
in an effort to stay in touch, along with surfing for new Sci-fi films, my
continued Achilles heel.
After a lunch consisting of dry cereal and banana I stood
selecting a DVD from the shelf to continue my hibernation and prevent my mind
fixating on Sam and all the future impossibilities. My phone chirped from the
kitchen as I made my decision on the afternoons viewing pulling out
‘Prometheus’. I walked in to the kitchen, no snivelling today, picking up
my phone it was a text from Sam, first contact of the day, the big brush off
may be?
It read, ‘Hey what you doing?’ Playing it cool maybe.
Should I mention last night? Or just plough on regardless
making small talk, trying to make a funny while keeping it light I replied
‘just choosing a movie for a bit of afternoon viewing...what are you up
to?’
I choose a cold can from the fridge and popcorn for the
event, more chirping, a quick reply was she waiting?
‘Do you want some company?’
Damn right I do, but I don’t want to sound mentally unstable
‘As long as it’s you’ was my not so snappy reply, was it too desperate? A knock
on the door followed 10 seconds later, really, that quick has teleportation
been invented. Walking to the front door I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror
thankful that my eyes were now back under my control and I was fully dressed.
Not quite knowing what I was going to say as I opened the front door, Sam stood
on the path clutching a slightly rusty mountain bike, wearing faded jeans, navy
hoodie and a wide smile, which I could only mirror.
“Holy Shit are you the Real McCoy Chris Hoy in disguise?” I
blurted out. She must have been waiting around the corner worried I would flip
out again.
“Have you ever seen us together in the same room?” She
quipped laughing. “Of course I’m minus the”. She made a fist gesture near her
crotch with her peter pointer wiggling towards the ground.
“Thank god, I don’t want to have to look at that every time
I see you”. I said without quite thinking where this was going.
She frowned. “Do you often look at Chris Hoys Packet?”
“Well, no not often”. I tried to back track.
I opened the door wide to let Sam bring her bike into the
hall, she stopped just before entering.
“Is it okay to bring it in? I borrowed it from my Rex and he
doesn’t have a lock for it”.
“Yeah....yeah no problem bring her in”. I shut the door and
started to make my way down the hall to the kitchen, when Sam gently grabbed my
hand, pulling me back towards her.
“Hey”. She greeted taking my hands in hers. “You look a lot
brighter today?”
I felt myself face redden, focusing my attention at the
floor to hide my embarrassment at my soppy behaviour yesterday. “Yes...thank
you.....I’m sorry about all the…..weeping”.
“It’s fine”. She moved one hand to my waist getting my
attention, I looked up in to those deep green eyes realising they were smiling
I managed a shy grin in return, trying not to focus on her lips.
“I sorry if I upset you last night by saying we should take
it slow”.
“You didn’t....I totally understand especially after my
freak out”. She moved her hand from my waist to cup my cheek, igniting warm
flashbacks of last night.
“It’s wasn’t that...I know that’s not the Alex I’ve got to
know over the last 6 months....it’s just....I really really like you, I just got
a bit scared....your sexy, funny and intelligent all rolled in to one little
sex pot”.
I laughed pulling her close with my free hand gently
brushing her lips with my own before planting a soft kiss on target. I pulled
away meeting her eyes again before I could get too carried away.
“Nothing to say about me then in reply....sure?” She pouted
feigning hurt feelings.
I grinned. “You know too much already”. Pulling her close
again, I kissed her more deeply this time. Pulling away to catch my breath, she
released my hand allowing me to put both my arms around her, I could feel her
firm curves under her hoodie. Sam whispered in to my ear. “I’ve was thinking
about you all last night and this morning...I’m not sure how slow I can take
it.....it might drive me insane”.
I smiled at her confession. “Good”. I said feeling relief
that it wasn’t just me in this situation. After what felt like several minutes
I moved out of our embrace, taking Sam’s hand I led her down the hallway.
“Drink?” I said over my shoulder as we entered the kitchen.
“Well I’ve brought a bottle of wine”. She said removing the
draw string ruck sack on her back.
“Really....are we celebrating?” I raised an
eyebrow.
“Sort of”. She said placing the bottle on the worktop.
“What....has Mike finally kicked you out for pool sharking?”
I asked.
“He’s found a flat for me”. She beamed with delight.
"That’s great.....where?” I was so pleased, it all
seemed to be falling into place for her at last.
“In town above Oxfam on the top floor, he’s just waiting for
the paperwork to come though, I should get the keys in a few weeks”.
“I’m really pleased for you...is it one of the move-on flats
they have?…..What’s it like?”
“I went to see it this morning, it needs a bit of painting
and fixing up to sort it out but I can’t wait to move in and have my own
place”. Her excitement was palpable and contagious. “I was wondering if I could
hire you as I’ve already seen your handy work to help me with some woodwork and
fixing up I could pay you for your time”.
“Absolutely...no problem and no payment required”. I beamed.
“If I get the keys off Mike I thought we could meet up in
town after work and I could show you round?”
“Yeah sounds good...we can get an idea of what we need
then”.
“It looks a bit dark at the moment needs some brightening
up, some furniture”.
“Is the rent expensive?” I asked.
“Not too bad it’s subsidised a bit….it works out about….”
Retrieving a piece of paper from her back pocket. “£280 a month not too
bad....affordable”.
“That’s not bad”.
“I think Mike has had enough of me at the YMCA?” She frowned
looking at the floor.
“He wouldn’t offer it to you if he didn’t think you were
ready”. I said reaching out for her hand in a bid to comfort her. “He probably
just thinks it’s the right time you’re finishing Uni and you’ve got a job
now...more than most of the other residents….don’t worry it’s a really positive
thing”.
“It’s just a bit scary….I can’t wait to get my own place but
it’s just daunting being a grownup again”. She looked up meeting my gaze.
“I know….but you’ll love it when you get it….I think you’re
ready to move on”. I moved closer putting both arms around her waist, pulling
her into a hug. “Mike will still keep an eye on you…..so will I?” I said over
her shoulder.
After taking in deep breath she blew out a breathy. “I
know”.
I hugged her tighter before releasing her, taking her hand I
looked at the clock on the wall. “Come on we need to get the good seats before
they go”. I led her into the sitting room carrying the glasses while Sam
grabbed the wine.
“So what’s playing this afternoon in the Philips cinema?”
She grinned as she sat on one end of the sofa.
I stood near the wall of DVD’s. “Well I’ve gone for scary
rather than anything emotional after recent events”. Holding up the DVD.
“Prometheus”. I said. “I’m such a sucker for science fiction when they show
trailers for films I feel compelled to watch them I’m a sucker for the visual
imagery......have you seen it?”
“Is it part of the Alien films?”
“It’s a prequel”.
“Oh”. She giggled.
“What”. I turned to look at her relaxing at the end of the
sofa.
“Nothing”. She said smiling shaking her head. “Film geek”
she whispered into her hand as I turned away.
I walked towards the sofa, holding Sam’s gaze as I grabbed
her hands pinning them to the back of the sofa, straddling her legs in one
swift move. “You’re not going to give me any trouble are you Johnson.....I can
switch it for ET if you like...but I you may need some form of boat to row home
in after all my bawling”.
Through giggles she declined my offer of ET opting for my
original choice. I placed a soft kiss on her tempting lips before removing
myself from her to put the DVD on, returning to get settled on the sofa next to
her.
I skipped through the trailers as Sam did the classic arm
stretch moving her arm behind me to cuddle my shoulder immediately brining a
smile to my face she whispered in my ear as if we were in a real cinema.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better today...I was a bit worried about
you”.
Feeling her warm breath in my ear I moved around to meet her
green eyes. “I’m sorry about all that.....It’s not really the impression I
wanted to give you”. I moved myself up to eye level with Sam, keeping eye
contact I leant closer placing a light kiss on her lips, snuggling down to get
comfortable as the film started.
Just as the space ship arrived at the planet to explore the
anthill type structure, Sam struggled free of our embrace. “I’m getting a bit
toasty”.
“Sorry I had to put the heating on to dry some washing”. Not
wanting to reveal my array of knickers now on my bedroom radiator......take
your jumper off if you’re hot!“ I said catching her eye, her response was a
single raised eyebrow and a smile. “There’s some water in the fridge if you
want a cold drink?” Trying to imply innocence in my proposal.
“Thanks.....you want one?”
“No thanks”. I said taking a long slug of wine.
As she left I moved to the end of the sofa recently vacated,
a grin on my face.
Returning with water in hand and jumper free revealing a
small white t-shirt she stood at the end of the sofa eyeing my new position,
after taking a long drink she placed the water on the floor, reaching for my
legs she dragged them down the sofa leaving me stretched out along its length.
As I started to lift myself up on my elbows she placed her knee on the far side
of my thighs lowering her body on top of mine, her mouth still glistening from
the water she kissed me deeply. I respond moving my hands around Sam’s neck
pulling her closer our passion growing and breathing more ragged, I gently
moved my hands along her body.
I pushed my thigh between Sam’s forcing a slight gasp from
her mouth, she forced her hips out to grind along my thigh, as my hands moved
down her body feeling the firmness below her t-shirt, I gently moved my hand
underneath traveling up Sam’s rib cage towards her breasts, letting out a moan
as I gently cupped her right breast using my thumb to bring her nipple to
attention.
Breaking free from my kiss she gasped in my ear. “You’re
driving me crazy”.
“Do you want me to stop?” I whispered after all we did want
to take it slow, she leaned back to regard me fully.
“Are you kidding?.......But I....I can’t um...do what I’d
like to do....but I can’t stop either”.
I locked eyes with her trying to read her thoughts and
failing miserably. “What do you mean?” Then I cottoned on to her predicament –
period. “Oh I see....we don’t have to...”.
Sam cut me off covering my lips with hers as she pulled me
closer, forcing her thigh between mine, igniting fires deep within my core.
Encouraged I moved my hand lower to her jeans running a finger around the
waistband on the inside then outside down between her thighs gently rubbing the
front seem of her jeans moving my thigh behind my hand producing more pressure,
as Sam groaned in response.
“Let me put my arm underneath you to get a better position”.
She said hoarsely in to my neck.
“Okay”. The voice of experience, I raised myself up allowing
her to slip her arm under my lower back and bottom. The new position brought
increased rhythm, I rocked my hips to meet it a moan with every breath, feeling
the dampness between her legs as she arched her back bringing me to climax at
the same time. I felt her come against my hand throbbing furiously, my head
rolled back against the sofa, I came seconds later. We both lay there, our
bodies vibrating, moving both my hands over her bottom maintaining the pressure
draining every last throb. Making eye contact for the first time giggling. “Not
sure I’ve done that fully clothed before”. She said.
“Me neither.....but I enjoyed it all the same”. I said still
breathing heavily.
“Umm me too”. She laughed
I finally caught my breath as Sam moved her weight off me to
the back of the sofa leaning against it, I dropped my right leg to the floor
allowing a little air circulation.
Sam moved her hand gently rubbing my crotch making me groan,
sending shockwaves through my body again.
Sam flicked her attention to the TV screen inquiring. “Did
we miss much?”
“Not really”. I said grinning at the screen.
I must have dropped off, waking as the film was ending I
gazed up to see Sam looking down at me grinning. “Did I wear you out?”
I smiled. “You must have done”.
Sam bent her head placing a soft kiss on my lips then moved
along my jaw bone to my neck. “Do you want to watch another or is there
something else you’d rather do?”
She continued to place soft kisses down my neck as I
considered my answer not wanting to move in case she stopped, finally I voiced
my opinion. “Well....my main concern is if I move you’ll stop what you’re
currently doing?”
I felt her snigger as she buried her face in the crook of my
neck, pulling back to look at me she smiled. “I see....well let me assure you I
don’t have any plans to stop in the immediate future”.