Taking Mark’s hand, he got a look at the guy up close for the first time. He was about five-ten. Couple hundred pounds. Square and stocky. Of course, Josh straightened his back, so at six-four he towered over the older man. What was he? In his early forties, maybe?
“I didn’t love the brush-off this morning. I hope that’s not going to happen again.”
At the end of the hallway he could see a nice conference room. The perfect spot for an ass-kicking.
“You know how things can get. A problem that had to be dealt with.”
“Ah,” Josh said. “Yeah. If you think it’s going to fly with me, you’re mistaken.”
“I didn’t mean to imply it would.”
They entered the conference room. Josh leaned on the table with both hands and focused anything and everything on Mark. He wanted the guy to see exactly how he was feeling, which was beyond pissed off. “Sit down. We have a few things to discuss.”
Mark pulled out the chair at the head of the table and sat, and Josh realized that this could turn into an ugly power play. Mark wasn’t the kind of guy to take orders lightly, and for a little while he didn’t move. He just folded his arms and stared.
“We’re going to discuss two things, Mr. Strickland.” He didn’t even give Mark a chance to respond. “You’re going to tell me why Campbell Holdings shouldn’t kick this firm to the curb for the poorly executed site assessment you provided us.”
“That was a good report. You got what you needed to make a decision about the project.”
“No, we didn’t. You only did soil samples. That doesn’t tell me the whole story, and I need that so I’m not facing millions of dollars in fees and fines to clean up the land.”
“I’m sure you’re worried for nothing.”
“Really? I had someone go and pull historical records. Something your people should have done.” Thank you, Caroline, for that bit of advice. “There was a foundry there, which means there could be all kinds of things buried on that site.”
Mark’s eyes narrowed. This guy was a bastard and he didn’t like to be challenged, even by the people who held the checkbook. It was a good thing Josh didn’t give a shit; he didn’t like people who did a half-assed job. “You get me a good survey. Find out what’s under all those fucking trees,” he said.
Josh pushed himself from the table and walked to the other side of the room, leaning his shoulder into the wall while keeping his eyes trained on Mark.
The older man glared at Josh. “What’s the second thing we have to talk about?”
“Caroline Rossi.”
Chapter 9
Caroline never understood why women she knew would eat whole pints of ice cream or bags of chocolate when something went wrong in their love lives. How was food going to fix anything? She thought this, of course, while scooping the last bit of Ben and Jerry’s Karamel Sutra out of the container. She still had three more pints in the freezer, and there was no doubt in her mind she’d eat every bite.
Caroline, however, wasn’t mourning a broken heart. Well, she was in a way. Her book, the one she’d poured her heart and soul into, had gotten its first rejection.
And it hurt. Caroline was so sure the book was good that after entering the contest she’d told Josh about, she decided to submit it to a small publisher. But the publisher wasn’t interested and the rejection had been nothing short of dismissive. Now the thought of facing the other rejections or crappy contest scores, which were bound to come any day, was depressing her.
Tessa came through the living room and stopped short. Caroline knew the whole scene looked bad. But considering she’d come home to her roommate doing the same thing on more than one occasion, Caroline figured she got a pass. It was her turn.
“Oh, boy,” Tessa said.
“What?”
“Did you go out like that?”
And what if she did? She wore a pair of worn flannel pajama bottoms with “Cornell” emblazoned on her ass, a gray hoodie — okay, so there was a big stain on one boob, whatever — and her oldest, comfiest pair of socks. She knew she was a mess. She didn’t care. What did it matter anyway? It’s not like she had to impress anyone. She obviously wasn’t cut out for relationships.
She’d pretty much resigned herself to the fact that she could just write about relationships since she sucked at them in real life. Oh, wait... she didn’t have any talent for that either. Her writing sucked too. So no one should care that she wore crappy clothes, ate pints of ice cream, and her hair resembled a rat’s nest.
When the buzzer sounded, Caroline didn’t move to answer. Instead, she went into the kitchen to figure out which pint of ice cream would be consumed next; Tessa could deal with whoever was at the door. More than likely it was for her anyway. It’s not like anyone was going to stop by and see Caroline. No, today was about her and the next victim... a pint of Half Baked.
Flipping off the lid and grabbing a clean spoon, Caroline took her ice cream and a bottle of water and figured she could always hang out in her room if Tessa had company.
That wasn’t a bad idea anyway. She’d settle into her bed with her ice cream and a romance novel she’d wanted to read. No stress, just a good healthy dose of self-pity. She’d wallow for the weekend and then get back to life on Monday.
It was a good plan, a really good plan that was foiled by Josh standing in her living room.
Shit.
“I only need to talk to her for a minute,” he said to Tessa, who obviously wanted to protect her from further embarrassment. “Just for... oh,” he said, spotting her. “Hi.”
“What do you want, Josh?” Caroline felt like she should be embarrassed because of her appearance, but she wasn’t. She just didn’t want to see anyone. She wanted to live with her failure on her own. Josh stood before her, simply dressed in jeans and an untucked navy-blue button-down shirt, and seemingly taking up every inch of space in the room. His hair, which was always carefully combed into place, fell naturally, and his day old scruff made her want to touch his face. His smile made his blue eyes flash, but in reality he looked pretty annoyed. Why was he annoyed?
“Hey,” he said again. “I know I should have called first, but if you don’t want friends to come running, don’t tweet things like ‘
Worst day of my life
.’”
Fucking social media
, she thought. Next time she’d go on radio silence.
“Calling would have been a good idea,” she said, dropping into an armchair. “I could have told you to save yourself a trip.”
Tessa cleared her throat. “I’m going to step out. You need anything?” Her roomie was the best. She seemed to sense that Caroline would do better without an audience.
“I’m good.” Caroline held up the pint of ice cream and tapped it with her spoon.
Tessa shook her head. “I’ll bring back something for the stomach ache you’re going to have later.”
Once she left the apartment, Caroline looked at Josh, who was standing near the big front window watching something on the street below. It should be illegal for any man to look that good. “So, you’re trying to save me?”
He approached her, almost tentatively, and sat on the sofa adjacent to the chair. He was close and she picked up his scent. It was clean, strong—like him.
“Working on something?” He pointed to her laptop and Caroline shrugged.
“I was. My heart’s not in it today.” Caroline knew she was being a big baby, that this was all part of the process. Writers were rejected—period. But today’s snub was coming on the heels of being around Josh for a whole month and feeling like they were going nowhere. He was sitting two feet away from her, taking up all the space in her head just like he took up all the space in her apartment, and she couldn’t have him. She wanted him to hold her, she wanted to feel him.
The past month had been hell. They’d gone out. She’d gotten a few chaste kisses on the cheek. She’d been to his apartment, but Caroline was getting the sense this really was platonic. They were friends. Good friends. But there were no benefits.
She took a spoonful of ice cream and tried not to get too absorbed in the memories from the night they spent together. So much of what she was feeling was wrapped up in emotions, not logic. It was a good thing she had her ice cream. She could focus on that and not on him or her rejected book.
“Want to tell me what happened?” he asked.
She had a mouthful of fudgy brownie and cookie dough when she looked up and saw Josh staring at her, his eyes showing a combination of hopefulness and amusement.
“God, you’re a mess,” he said, moving to the ottoman opposite her.
When he brushed a lock of hair off her face, she felt all the lovely heat that rushed in whenever he was close to her. Caroline swallowed. “I’m allowed to be a mess. I just found out I’m a no-talent hack.”
“Who told you that?” he asked before placing his big hand on her knee.
“The editor I submitted it to.”
“You submitted? That’s awesome.”
“Not really. I suck.”
“Right. And she said you’re a no-talent hack?”
That wasn’t what the letter said, but that’s how Caroline felt. “I don’t have any talent.”
“Can I see the e-mail? Then I’ll know if you should be throwing yourself off a bridge or just getting good and drunk.”
“You don’t have to make fun,” she said.
“Sure I do. It’s my God-given right, as your friend, and a guy, to pick on you.”
She handed her ice cream to him and found the e-mail, turning the laptop to show it to him. “This is your fault. You made me get all brave.”
“I can live with that.” He read the e-mail and then leaned in. “You’re a drama queen.”
Drama queen! She wasn’t Meg, for Pete’s sake. Caroline folded her arms and pulled her knees to her chest. “I am not.” She reached out. “Give me my ice cream.”
“It’s a rejection that said your work wasn’t right for her list. Nowhere did I see the words ‘no-talent hack’. This isn’t even worth getting you drunk over.”
“I can read between the lines. You don’t get it.”
“Good God, you need to get over yourself.”
He took the spoon from her and dug into the ice cream. After eating a healthy bite himself, he continued. “You have to keep at it.”
“Why didn’t she like it?” He kissed her on the forehead and she melted a little because he was being so damned sweet. Even when he was picking on her.
The bastard
.
“I don’t know why. Why are there a hundred flavors of Ben and Jerry’s? People like different things.”
“I hate this.”
“The ice cream? The ice cream is good,” he said.
He was so damn dense! Did he have a clue? He sat there with the ice cream, grinning, and Caroline swore if he tried to kiss her forehead again she might actually scream. Then again, if she could see the kiss coming, and she was quick enough, she could get a kiss that wouldn’t leave any doubt about what she wanted. Yup. That would show him.
Caroline had decided when they first became “friends” that she shouldn’t try to figure everything out. He was here in her apartment, trying to make her feel better, and that was a start, but Caroline was tired of waiting. If Josh had gotten anything right, it was that Caroline had to stop leading a passive life.
And this applied to everything, not just Josh. “I know you’re right, that this is all part of the process, but...” She sniffled and felt the fear creep up inside. She was terrified. “What if I fail at this?”
“So you keep ice cream in the freezer and prepare yourself, but you have to try or you go nowhere.” He grabbed a tissue from the end table and mopped her eyes. “Great reward requires risk.”
“You sound like a fortune cookie.”
“So if I add ‘in bed’ to that, would it make you laugh?”
Caroline smiled, but not because it was amusing, but because she thought about Josh... in bed.
“I was always taught not to take too many risks, so this is new for me. Kind of like sleeping with you was a big risk.” It was the first time she’d brought it up in the month they’d been hanging out together.
He tapped her nose with his index finger. Could any gesture be less seductive? “Do you regret it?”
She thought for a second. Did she? “No. You?”
“I don’t regret it either.”
A little bit of light was suddenly sprinkled over Caroline’s dark mood. If he didn’t regret it, then maybe...
Then Josh finished his thought. “But I don’t think it should happen again. I know we said we’d leave things open, but I worry it could mess things up between us.”
God, she was living a cliché. This totally sucked. Why didn’t he just say he didn’t find her attractive? She could deal with that and move on. But to have a hot, dreamy guy attracted to her and not willing to act on it? Just her luck. “It would be a mistake. Of course...”
Josh placed a finger over her lips, halting her speech. “
Not
a mistake. But the way we’re connected, I just don’t think it would be a good idea for us to go there again. I had fun with you, and I care about you now, so don’t say it was a mistake.”
“Okay,” she whispered. “Okay.”
He took another spoon of ice cream. “That’s really good, but you need to put it away. There’s a new restaurant on Tenth and I want you to come with me to try it out.”
Did she hear him right? “Um, okay? Wait. What?”
“Dinner. Some celebrity chef opened the place. It’s supposed to be good. I’ll come back and pick you up around eight? You need to get out and have some fun.”
Caroline found she was stunned and couldn’t speak. Talk about sending mixed signals. Josh was asking her to dinner and there was no one around, no one he had to rescue her from. He was asking her out to someplace very hip and very trendy. Not his apartment, not some dark theater. He might have just said he wanted to keep things platonic, but this very public date was saying something else altogether. This might just give her the perfect opportunity to send some signals of her own. Holy. Shit.
Her inner geek was doing a happy dance and she suppressed the urge to squeal. But when Josh rose and took a deep breath, there was something not right about the expression on his face. “I guess dinner was a bad idea. I’ll go.”
Crap. She hadn’t answered him. As he turned to leave, Caroline’s hand shot out and touched his arm. “It’s not a bad idea. I’m just shocked you asked, especially after what you just said.”
Turning, he looked her over. “So what do you say?”
“I’d love to go, but I’m not sure why you want to.”
The corner of his mouth twitched a little and Josh took her hand and kissed it. “I do like hanging out with you. Don’t ever question that. You keep me honest.”
“Honest?”
“You don’t take my shit, Caroline. Like now. No one else is willing to call me out. I’ll see you later.”
He left before she could say another word. Caroline didn’t know how long she had been sitting in the armchair holding the melting ice cream, but when Tessa walked in she drifted back to reality.
“I still can’t get over him. Good God, he’s gorgeous.”
“Uh-huh. He just asked me out to dinner.”
“Okay. I need details now. Why?”
“I’m not sure. The rejection? He feels sorry for me?”
Now it was Tessa’s turn to be without adequate words. “So you have a for-real date with the object of your affection since, like, forever?”
“That would be him.”
“And to think I thought your sister’s husband was gorgeous. Lordy. What the hell was in that gene pool? So you’re going to dinner? Where?”
“A new place. It’s on Tenth.”
“On Tenth?
Porto Salvo
? No one can get in there; they’re booked for months.”
“He didn’t tell me where. Is it fancy? He’s picking me up at eight.”
“Very upscale. Very in.”
“Great.” Caroline had no idea what to wear to a trendy, upscale restaurant. She looked at her hands. Her nails weren’t even done. “I’m screwed.”
“Nah. We need to work fast, but you’re going to look gorgeous.” Tessa waved her hand up and down. “First a shower. Then we start polishing.”
***
“I’ve seen three celebrities since we walked in here.” Caroline glanced over her shoulder at the latest actor to walk by their table. “I loved his last movie. Did you see it?”
Josh leaned back against the soft leather of the banquette and tried to be unaffected—he was always in places like this—but her enthusiasm was the best part of the evening so far. That, and she looked amazing. “No. I missed it. Believe it or not, going out with you has been the only real break from work I’ve taken in a long time. How is the soup?”
“It’s delicious. I adore lobster bisque.” Silence settled between them, and as usual his girl cut to the chase. She put her hands in her lap and stared at him. “Is work that bad?”
Josh thought hard about how he should answer. He’d spent so much time around his father and business that he’d forgotten how to actually share emotions. He was really out of his element, but he wanted to tell her. He wanted her to know what he was facing.