“Not angry.”
I’m trying to figure out how to have your children, dammit.
Oh, God. She had to stop. “I just feel kind of insignificant with all your friends stopping by the table.”
Shut up, Caroline
. “I think if we go out to eat again, we should hit McDonald’s.”
One side of his mouth turned up and he folded his arms, mimicking her posture. “You’re jealous.”
Caroline felt her lips pucker and she started paying attention to her own lunch. “Maybe a little.”
“I’m sorry.” His voice had softened. “I’ll try to be more aware.”
“I’m not being terribly sophisticated, am I?”
“Sophis... what the... you’re human.”
“But—”
He reached across the small table and put a finger on her lips. “Stop.” She started to say something and he shook his head. “Man, you are stubborn.”
Their eyes met and something passed between them. A feeling, an awareness of something that could be. Normally, Caroline would think it was her overactive imagination, but she could see the change on his face. Josh knew it too. This thing of theirs had the potential to be something. Unfortunately, it appeared, neither of them had the nerve to go after it.
“Sorry...”
“Shit.” That’s when he leaned in and kissed her. It wasn’t deep or dirty, but it was so sweet Caroline was glad she was sitting, because if she wasn’t she would collapse right into him. She felt his fingers lightly brush her face. Her eyes drifted shut and she felt everything spin a little. When she opened her eyes, his face was just inches from hers, his fingers still rested on her cheek and his eyes were on hers. “Better?”
“Uh-huh,” she answered. “You shouldn’t do that, though. I thought we were starting slowly, as friends.”
“Oh, right. I guess I shouldn’t have, but it was nice.”
“It was,” she whispered. He was still staring at her. His fingers now covering hers.
“Good.” He leaned back just a bit, and it took a second for Caroline to recover her wits. She was in so far over her head it wasn’t funny. He was going to own her heart and soul in a matter of days. He grinned and she almost went unconscious. Make that hours. She’d be his in a matter of hours.
“Here’s the thing,” he said. “That whole ‘sophisticated’ crap—what was that?”
“I just... I...”
“If we’re out together, you have a right to expect my attention. That I be considerate.”
She nodded. “I’m working on the whole confidence thing. I don’t have a lot of practice.”
“I’m getting that. Why don’t you think you have a right to be treated with respect? I mean, the way you went back at your sister the other day was long overdue. Meg is a good woman, but she walks on you a little. She always has.”
“I got so fed up with her telling me what to do. You should have heard the way she talked about you. God, you’d think you’d molested me when we had dinner.”
They both stopped and Caroline reacted first. “Okay, that wasn’t a great way to put it.”
“Probably not, but I get your meaning.”
“I’m an adult and I have a right to see who I want when I want. But she did surprise me.”
“How’s that?”
“She apologized. Said you had my back... Then she told me she thought you liked me.”
Josh leaned in. “Did she now?”
“She did. She also wanted to know if anything happened between us.”
“Did you tell her?”
“No. It’s not her business. But we’re having dinner tomorrow night.”
“Uh-oh.”
“I’m a terrible liar. So I may just have to shock the hell out of her and tell her everything.”
He laughed. “If you do, let me know. I’ll break out the body armor.” Josh took a sip of his iced tea and leveled a very serious gaze at her. “So what about the books?”
Her eyes fell away and she wondered what he was asking. Did he want to know what she was doing? What her goals were? About her writing?
“I love writing. It’s everything to me, and every day I have to go to work kills me a little inside. I should have fought harder for what I wanted.”
“So start now.”
“I’m working on it, but I’ve been pigeonholed a long time; it’s going to take me a bit.”
“Start with one thing.” He picked up a fry and popped it in his mouth, and Caroline started to see how Josh worked a problem. He did things one step at a time, dealing with things in pieces.
“Like what?” she asked even though she knew what he was going to say.
“You have to come out of the closet about your work. Start doing something to get your name out there.”
That coming out of the closet thing was the tough part. “I know. There’s this contest I want to enter. I keep revising and procrastinating.”
“What’s holding you back?”
That was the big question. Why? She wanted to write for people. She was desperate for her books to be published. But when she had the opportunity to get her work out there, she usually self-sabotaged and missed her window. It was that same confidence issue. Hands down, that’s what it was.
“I don’t know what my problem is. Other than the fact that if I don’t submit, I won’t fail.” She’d never failed anything before. Playing it safe made that easy.
“You also won’t get published.”
“I could be writing books that everyone will hate.”
He took a deep breath when she said that, and it was only after it was out of her mouth that she realized how it sounded. Pathetic. “You’re killing me here,” he said.
“I know. It’s hard for me, though.” Caroline slumped back in her chair. “I told you. Being friends with me might not be a good thing. I’m a little crazy.”
“Well, at least the crazy shows. It’s hidden crazy that’s a problem.” He took out his phone and started punching buttons. “I’m going to send you a text every day to keep you honest. When do you have to enter?”
The million-dollar question. Now she had to answer it honestly. “Today would be good. Tomorrow at the latest.”
He laughed. “Guess what you’re doing when you get home?”
She hesitated. The thought was terrifying, but he was right. If she didn’t take a chance, make a move, she’d be stuck in this rut forever. Josh was a strong, successful executive. He knew how to get things done. He worked hard and didn’t take no for an answer, and she needed to adopt some of his attitude. “Okay,” she whispered. “You win.”
Josh shook his head. “Nope. But you might.”
***
Josh wanted to touch her the whole way back to her office. And he knew he shouldn’t.
He also shouldn’t have kissed her at lunch either, because stopping was so damn hard. She tasted good, sweet, and she still had that amazing smell. Sweet and spicy. The woman was a mass of contradictions, and Josh had no idea why he suggested they try to be friends except that for the past few days he’d hated not seeing her. Completely hated it.
So, for him, this was a compromise. His inner alarm bells were screaming, telling him he should run like hell, but he couldn’t deny the attraction he felt. Something inside told him he needed her. Josh wasn’t necessarily looking for engineering advice, but for more validation that what his father was doing was wrong. Caroline understood him and what he needed, and for the first time since he became a partner, Josh knew he could fight against his father’s latest scheme, and possibly win.
It was that intuitiveness, the quiet support she offered without question that drew him in. Thinking about the Rossis, Josh had a feeling they hesitated around her because they didn’t know what to make of the youngest daughter. She’d taken a left turn and surprised the hell out of them. She’d always been accepting, predictable, and now she’d thrown it all out the window. He was glad Meg reached out, but Caroline still had to be prepared to stand her ground.
This was the tricky part. While he knew he couldn’t change years of family dynamics, Josh decided to focus on helping Caroline be happy with who she was.
He hated that she felt isolated from her family because the feeling was something Josh could relate to. The circumstances were different, but he’d always been the outsider with his siblings. And now he’d never have the chance to grow close to his sister. Caroline’s writing, her career, her relationships were all things she should be sharing with those who shared her blood, but the wariness that currently existed made that all but impossible. He didn’t feel sorry for her, because she needed no one’s pity, but if anyone deserved love and support, it was Caroline, and she wasn’t getting it. In the end, though, family or not, Caroline had to make choices about her own life and stop shooting herself in the foot. He had no doubt she could do anything she put her mind to, but the confidence thing had crippled her, and Josh wanted nothing more than to fix it. To let her know how amazing she was.
For the life of him, he couldn’t understand his own reaction. Maybe he shouldn’t try. For once he decided not to think so much and just go with what felt right.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets and tried to redirect his physical reaction to her. Work. Focusing on work was always a good plan. He was going to have a preliminary meeting with her boss when they got back to her office, come hell or high water, and her take on it would help him.
“So, how do I deal with Strickland?”
Caroline’s shoulders twitched and he went on alert. His whole body reacted. Her situation at the office might have been worse than he thought. “Mark’s a bully. However, since you’re better looking, bigger, stronger, and richer, you shouldn’t have any issue with him.”
“I’m better looking?”
She smiled and slapped his arm playfully. “You know you are.” She shook her head. “He’s a phony. He’s going to flatter you to your face, but he’ll try to manipulate you. Making you wait is a favorite tactic of his.”
“I see.” He took out his cell and found the number in his contacts. “What’s the receptionist’s name?”
“Fern.”
“Really? Fern? Interesting.” Josh put the phone to his ear and when Pinchface picked up, he started playing his own game. “Fern, this is Josh Campbell. Please tell Mr. Stickland that I’m walking Miss Rossi back to the office and I’ll expect he’ll be ready to see me when we arrive there in, oh, about five minutes.”
“He may have another appointment,” she responded.
“Then tell him to cancel it. We’ll be there soon.”
He ended the call and glanced at Caroline, who was smiling. “He’s going to hate you,” she said.
“He doesn’t have to like me.” He wanted to explain it to her, but didn’t know how to couch it. The business end of it was straightforward. It was the personal side that was complicated. How did he tell her he hadn’t been able to get her out of his head all week? That he felt guilty as hell and he never felt guilty where women were concerned? “I only need him to do two things. First, he has to get this project right. Second, I need him to leave you alone.”
“You don’t have to fight my battles for me, Josh.”
“You really are a piece of work. What’s wrong with a little help from a friend?”
“It’s called being independent. You think I’m being difficult, but I’m not going to have you watching my back for the rest of my life.”
Josh almost answered with a simple
“Why not?”
but he put the brakes on that before it slipped over his tongue.
Holy hell
.
Tamping down his reaction, Josh refocused. If he had to, he could hire another consultant, but Caroline was another matter altogether. He’d done some digging and found out that Mark was a first-class prick who had a history of harassing women. He was a fucking brilliant administrator, which was the only reason he was still employed anywhere. But if he kept after Caroline, there would be a whole world of hurt raining down on Mr. Strickland.
Josh hadn’t realized how much she’d gotten under his skin until that moment. This wasn’t going to be easy, and he was almost regretting his friendship proposal. It was going to be torture. But she needed him.
He needed her.
There was something going on physically; he got that and he could understand it, but it was the other piece, the protective piece, that had him going a little crazy. Josh should step into the “big brother role”, but he didn’t know if he wanted it. It felt wrong to him, dishonest, since Caroline stirred his libido like no one else. There was nothing brotherly going on at all.
He could see how much work grated on her when they were waiting for the elevator. She was twisting her fingers so vigorously he thought she might pull them off. He’d never seen anyone so tense.
Then Josh wondered if Mark was making her nervous, or if it was him. Was she anticipating a confrontation with her boss, or was she feeling the same kind of attraction he was? He knew she made him plenty nervous. They stepped into the elevator and Josh was grateful when the doors closed and they were the only ones in there.
“I was thinking, maybe we could go to a movie or something.”
The look on her face told him he’d just shocked her pretty thoroughly. Made sense since he’d shocked himself. “We could do that, but I want to cook dinner for you, too,” she said.
“You’re going to cook for me?”
Nodding, Caroline smiled. “Just a friendly dinner.”
“Of course,” he said. “Your place?”
She shook her head, and when she chewed on her lips, Josh had to wonder if he was being played. “No, yours. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about your kitchen. I’m dying to try it out.” Damn. What did she mean by that? Her face, her eyes, said they might do more than just cook. Maybe her confidence didn’t need as much work as he thought. The elevator door opened, and while Josh had to hope his raging hard-on wasn’t going to screw with his meeting, Caroline was looking pretty pleased with herself.
Yeah. He’d been played. Completely.
For the first time ever, Josh realized he’d lost the upper hand with a woman. And he didn’t know if he wanted it back.
The pinchy receptionist was staring at them as they got off the elevator and Josh squeezed Caroline’s hand before she went back to work. Right on cue, Mark emerged, and Josh had to suppress the urge to kick the shit out of the guy, especially when he looked at Caroline like she was his choice on the menu.
“Josh, finally. So good to meet you. Mark Strickland.”