Undying (21 page)

“Catherine, don’t be frightened. It’s me.”

“James!”

“I’m sorry. I should have been here for you.”

“You were… I know you were, and I know you only left when you knew I was going to be alright.”

“Did you just say alright?” he mocked me.

“I mean, okaay!” I smiled.

He was now smiling. That same smile that had melted my heart the first day I met him.

“I heard you got a replacement for me?”

“Correct,” he replied.

“Is it worth it for just a week?”

He didn’t answer.

“James, the replacement is just for a week, right?”

“Catherine… I don’t want to do this now.”

“Do what? Fire me? When would you like to do this then?” I was shocked.

“Please, you have to know… I mean, you have to now finally agree how serious this is. I saw your lifeless body at the bottom of the stairs, and at that moment I decided that I would rather not have you than lose you again.”

“That doesn’t make
any
sense. If you don’t have me, you
have
lost me anyway!”

“There is a difference, Catherine.”

“No, not to me there isn’t!”

“When you are discharged and you are back at the college, we will talk then.”

“Talk all you like, James. This jealous, vindictive, evil thing is not going to get what it wants! I will overcome it!”

“Jealous, vindictive, evil thing? Why do you say that?”

“I’m right, aren’t I? He is jealous of me being with any other man, and vindictive because his so-called pride has been hurt and evil because he will stop at nothing!”

I was shocked by my words. This was the first time I had referred to ‘it’ as a man. This ghost, or thing, had never really existed in my mind, but I didn’t believe that anymore. He was a man. My train of thought was confusing me, unsure of where my thoughts were taking me. James was also surprised by my sudden outburst.

“I don’t know what to say… You seem different… better…” he smiled.

“I suppose I am. I guess when you get pushed around, literally in my case, at some point it changes you. I hope you don’t mind too much.”

“I feel like I can win this James. Things are different now. I have more on my side.”

“More on your side?” he repeated, confused.

“Trust me, you don’t want me to explain it to you.”

“I think you should,” he said as he crossed his arms and stood up straight.

“I don’t think I can.”

He smiled, released his stern position and came closer.

“I have had an awful week, Catherine. You cannot imagine. I can’t lose you… Your life is so special and extraordinary that we can’t take it for granted.”

“I didn’t wish any of this craziness on myself!”

“I know, I know. But whether you wanted it or not, it’s here.”

He held my hand and kissed it. It brought a smile to my face, and looking deep into my eyes, James smiled back.

“It looks like you will be out of here on Friday.”

“Really?” I was pleased.

“When you were asleep, the nurse spoke with your doctor, and if all is still alright, you can leave Friday. Jules really wants to come and collect you, so I hope that’s alright with you.”

“That’s fine. I will call her Thursday night and confirm with her the time so she won’t have to wait for me to be discharged.”

“Fine, I will let her know.”

“James?”

“Yes.”

“Nothing…”

“What is it?”

“Nothing, really!”

“You’re not keeping anything from me are you?”

“No… no,” I said as I looked away. l was a terrible liar.

“Catherine, please be safe. I will escort you to the airport myself if you intentionally put yourself in harm’s way. Remember that!” James warned.

I nodded, thinking there was no way I would allow him to do that.

“You should rest now.”

“Will I see you tomorrow night?”

“Yes, you will,” he said.

He kissed my hand again slowly. I closed my eyes to indulge the feeling.

“Goodnight…” he said, opening the door, allowing the nurse back into my room as he left.

The rest of the week was filled with physiotherapy sessions, crosswords and awful hospital food. Jules visited me again, this time with Dr Simons, and James came late every evening. On the Thursday night, he asked me if I knew what time I would be discharged. I lied and told him 3 o’clock so I could make my journey to London before Jules came to pick me up. James said he would pass the message on to Jules. After he left, I asked the nurse to make certain that I was discharged by 9. She promised that she would have a cab organised.

The nurse was true to her word. The cab was waiting at the front of the hospital. It was a cold and drizzly day. I got into the cab quickly, gave him Elizabeth and Edward’s address and I was on my way. The journey into London took close to an hour and a half. I arrived at the house just before 11 o’clock. I paid the cab driver, asking him to come back and collect me and return me back to the hospital. He agreed.

When I got to the door I was overwhelmed, but somehow comfortable, at being there. The home was a terrace overlooking a park. It was beautiful, and had pretty planter boxes on the front window. I rang the doorbell and waited, hearing slow footsteps make their way to the door. As the door opened, I shied away, taking a step backwards.

“Catherine, you came! How wonderful. Please come in… Wait! What’s happened to you? Are you alright?”

“Yes, yes. It’s nothing.” I pointed to my bruises. “I fell off a horse!” I joked. “Edward, it is so good to see you again.”

“And you my dear. Please, please, come right in.”

As I walked down the hallway, my sense of smell was taken on a joyride. The house was warm and smelt so sweet. There were fresh flowers everywhere in the house. We walked past a few rooms – a formal lounge and dining room, and then on to a smaller casual living area.

“Please, sit down,” he told me, as he directed me to a chair.

“Thank you,” I replied with a smile.

Edward sat opposite me.

“Is Elizabeth here?”

“Um… Catherine. I am sorry. I didn’t want to tell you over the phone…”

“Tell me what?”

“My beautiful Elizabeth passed away a few days before you called.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry,” he said as he bent his head down.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Elizabeth was dead. It couldn’t be. To my side, I noticed a round table with a photo of Elizabeth and a small vase of flowers beside it.

“Edward, please forgive me for my reaction. I am so sorry for your loss. I… just really wanted to see her. I can’t believe this has happened. I don’t know what to say. I am so sorry. I don’t want to intrude. I should leave,” I mumbled.

“No… No Catherine, please… Elizabeth was speaking about you in the days before she passed, wishing she could see you, talk to you and see how you were holding up at your new job.”

“I have also been thinking about her. I only wish I had come sooner.”

I looked at the photo and stared into her eyes. They were deep and soothing.

“She is so beautiful,” I said admiringly.

“That she is. I am a very lucky man to have had her in my life for so long. I never understood what she saw in me.”

“Edward, no! What’s not to love? You are a true gentleman.”

“Thank you. That is very kind of you to say.”

I sat back and took a deep breath in and out, still in disbelief that she was gone. My mission here seemed irrelevant now. I felt awful being here.

“Tea?”

“Pardon? Oh yes… thank you.”

You’ve got to love the English and their tea
.

Edward left the room to make the tea. While he was gone, I studied everything around me. Ornaments, artwork, curtain fabric – everything was so interesting to me. A wedding photo caught my eye. Elizabeth was so beautiful. That was for sure.

“There we are.” Edward placed a silver tray on the table beside me. “How would you like your tea?”

“Black. Thank you.”

“Now, while you have your tea, would you like to see some photos of my darling Elizabeth?” Edward asked, with a sparkle in his eye.

“Yes please, that would be nice.”

From beside his chair on the floor, he picked up an album. It was obvious that he had been going through it over and over again. I took a sip of tea and placed it on the table. I took the album from him. He got up and sat on a chair close by me, longing to see the photos of his adored wife again, probably for the thousandth time. The first few pages were recent photos. I could tell they were taken in Sydney. Seeing the Opera House in the background made me think of home. As I turned the pages, the photos looked older and older, and the people in the photos were getting younger and younger. Edward explained that he and Elizabeth couldn’t have children and had accepted it as God’s will.

There were some black and white wedding photos and Edward could recall the day as if it were yesterday. He then went on to explain that Elizabeth was the only child of a wealthy couple. She had tragically lost her parents when she was very young. I continued to listen to every single word that came out of his mouth. I continued to turn the pages and stopped. A photo of the little girl in my dream was staring straight back at me. I was speechless. I touched the photo with my hand and tried to compose myself.

“Edward? Who is this little girl?” I asked.

“That little girl is my Elizabeth. I think she may have been about four or five I guess. It’s the only photo I have of her at such a young age, so many photos and memories were lost over the years,” he sighed. “Oh, yes, before I forget. I have something for you.” He left the room while I continued to look at the photo, thinking it was impossible.

Could Elizabeth have been dead when I saw her as a child in my dream? Was I dreaming?

My guessing was making it worse for me. I touched the photo and smiled. She was striking and I loved her somehow.

“My apologies. I am an old man now and everything I do takes forever!” he joked.

In his hand was a small package wrapped in brown paper, a straw ribbon tied around it, and a piece of folded paper tucked under the string. He handed it to me and sat down beside me.

“Catherine, just before she passed Elizabeth wanted you to have this.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders. “But it comes with instructions.”

He smiled.

“Everything about my wife came with instructions,” he joked. “Now… she asked me to tell you not to open it right away, somehow she sensed you might come back.”

“When do I open it then? I don’t understand?”

“Either do I, but she said you will know when.”

“Only when I need to then? Ok… I suppose I will wait…” I announced reluctantly.

“Edward, Elizabeth was a very lucky woman to have found you,” I said, as I reached up and kissed him on the cheek.“ I should go; I have a long trip ahead, and I can’t be late,” I said as I rose from my chair.

“Thank you for coming to see me. I feel that I have made Elizabeth happy by seeing you.”

I smiled and started to make my way to the front door. The taxi I had booked was parked out the front. I turned again to Edward, put my arms around him and held onto him tightly for a minute.

“Take care of yourself. I will try and visit you when I am in London again.”

“I look forward to it, Catherine.”

He nodded and smiled as he closed the door. The taxi driver had opened my door and was waiting for me. As I sat in the car, I had so much to think about and didn’t know where to start. I held on to the little package and wondered if I should open it. Going against my nature, I decided not to. I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for.

Maybe tonight when I am in James’s room beside him in bed, I will open it?

I was still having trouble coming to terms with the news that Elizabeth was gone. I’m certain it was her in my dream and she was the daughter of the couple that I am always dreaming of. But I still couldn’t work out why I was dreaming of them. My head started to hurt, I felt so empty at the thought of Elizabeth’s death I wish I could have come earlier. The journey back to the hospital seemed shorter. I closed my eyes and rested them for a good while.

When the hospital was in sight, I felt anxious, knowing that I was going to have to lie to Jules. As the taxi approached the front doors, I was horrified to see that she was standing there, looking around nervously. When she spotted me, she pulled out her mobile and started dialling. My face started to burn up.

I was busted, really busted
.

She finished her conversation the same moment the taxi came to a halt. I opened the door with a sheepish smile.

“Catherine, Mr Barclay is very upset!”

“Why? What does he know?”

“He knows that you were discharged over four hours ago! I came early so I could help you pack your things. When you weren’t in your room, I spoke to a nurse and she said that you were discharged early this morning. I was confused. Did Mr Barclay get the times wrong? I didn’t know? I called you first but your phone was off, I was worried. So I called Mr Barclay and told him that you were discharged earlier and… well, I could tell that he was furious. I just called him now when I saw you.”

“Oh Jules… I wish you hadn’t called him!”

“Catherine, what is going on? I don’t understand why Mr Barclay is so upset.”

“So, what now?” I said, trying to change the subject.

“Straight to the college… No stop offs… No detours, nothing – those were his strict orders!”

Jules ran around the taxi and hopped in. She obviously couldn’t get to the college quick enough.

“Where were you?”

“London.”

“London?” she repeated still sounding flustered.

“I had to see someone. It was important.”

“Why didn’t you want anyone to know? Why the secrecy?”

“I don’t know. I am so sorry, Jules.”

“Catherine, I am not as dumb as I look. I know something is going on. Everyone is jumpy, secretive, scared. Even Dr Simons! I feel like I am the only one in the dark about something.”

I shook my head in guilt and didn’t answer.