Uncle John's Bathroom Reader The World's Gone Crazy (13 page)

BOOK: Uncle John's Bathroom Reader The World's Gone Crazy
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DRINK IT UP

So with all of the usual suspects of twin-making ruled out, there is one prevailing theory: It’s the water. Kodinji is almost surrounded by it, and during monsoon season, the village is often completely cut off. But so far, tests of the water supply have proven inconclusive.

It appears, though, that scientists will have plenty of time to study the phenomenon—because the twin birth rate in Kodinji is actually
rising
. As of early 2010, five more women in the village were pregnant with twins. “The more the merrier,” says Bushara Mohammed Kutty, the mother of a set of twins
and
a set of triplets. She then adds, “provided you have the wherewithal.”

Fastest-growing language in the galaxy, according to
Time
magazine: Klingon
.

LET’S DO A STUDY

However you describe these research projects—goofy, offensive—they all beg the question: Did someone really need to spend all that time and money to tell us that

D
UCKS LIKE RAIN
Says Who:
Marian Dawkins, Oxford University, 2009

The Study:
British scientists gave a group of ducks full access to a pond, a water trough, and a shower. They found that the ducks preferred standing under the shower to standing in still water. The three-year study cost more than half a million dollars.

BARTENDERS ARE LIKELY TO DRINK TOO MUCH

Says who:
Eric Goplerud, George Washington University Medical Center, Washington, D.C., 2008

The study:
Fifteen percent of bartenders and cocktail waitresses abuse alcohol—the highest level of any industry. By comparison, only 5.4% of teachers, nurses, and social workers are problem drinkers. The likely cause, according to this statistical study: “Proximity to and availability of alcohol.”

DISTRACTIONS MAKE IT HARDER TO LEARN

Says who:
Russell Poldrack, UCLA, 2006

The study:
Subjects were given a set of cards and asked to mentally keep track of shapes drawn on the cards. In a separate test, they were given a new set of cards to sort but were also fed a series of low- and high-pitched beeps through earphones. They were then asked to keep count of the high-pitched beeps while they sorted the cards. The results showed that subjects had better recall when they performed only one task at a time.

MEN PREFER TO PEE ALONE

Says who:
R. Dennis Middlemist, Eric S. Knowles, Charles F. Matter, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1976

The study:
Researchers asked 60 men to urinate in a public lavatory and measured their
micturation times
(“time of intent” to “start of flow”) according to how closely an assistant unknown to the subject stood nearby. Three “personal space” comfort levels were used: adjacent, one urinal removed, and out of the room. With no one there, it took an average of 4.8 seconds for subjects to start peeing. With someone one urinal away, 6.2 seconds. With someone right there: 8.4.

Scientists in England built the world’s smallest snowman—smaller than the width of a human hair
.

STUPID FLIES LIVE LONGER

Says who:
Tadeusz Kawecki, Joep Burger, University of Lausanne, Switzerland, 2008

The study:
One group of fruit flies was left alone; the other group was given tasks, and the flies who showed the most intelligence were bred to each other to produce more “smart” flies. After generations, the flies in the “stupid” colony lived an average of 80 to 85 days, but the “smart” flies lived for only 50 to 60 days. Why? Because, the study concluded, a more active brain requires more fuel…and therefore burns out its body’s reserves faster (at least if you’re a fruit fly).

UGLY DEFENDANTS GET CONVICTED MORE

Says who:
Sandie Taylor, Bath Spa University, England, 2007

The study:
Ninety-six volunteers were asked to read a transcript of a mugging case. Half were shown a photograph of an attractive suspect, the other half a picture of a not-so-attractive suspect. Both groups were asked to render a verdict. The good-looking subject was let off far more often than the less attractive suspect.

JAMES BOND DOESN’T PREFER BLONDES
Says who:
Kimberly Neuendorf, Cleveland State University, 2009

The study:
For a 2009 article in the journal
Sex Roles
, Neuendorf and her team analyzed the physical traits of 195 female characters from the first 20 James Bond films. Of the 97 women he was “intimate” with, only 27 percent were blonde and 15 percent were redheads. It turns out 007 prefers brunettes—59 percent of “Bond girls” had black or brown hair.

Smallest Texas state park: The .006-acre zone around the grave of Davy Crockett’s second wife
.

CANADIAN GANGLAND

Canada: the land of big lakes, lots of snow, friendly people—and a whole bunch of dangerous, violent gangs
.

B
ACKGROUND
Most people don’t think of Canada as a place where violent gangs roam the streets, but in the past two decades, the number of gangs in the country has grown exponentially. Today there are today literally thousands of them, and their turf wars and drive-by shootings make the headlines more and more often. Here’s a rundown of some of the most notorious—and dangerous—of them all.

Gang:
Indian Posse (IP)

Base:
Winnipeg, Manitoba

History:
Indian Posse, believed to be the first “aboriginal gang” (or “First Nations” gang), was founded by a handful of disaffected teenagers in Winnipeg around 1990. IP quickly grew from a petty-theft operation into a criminal powerhouse specializing in drug trafficking, robbery, and prostitution on reservations, in cities, and inside prisons. Today it’s the largest of the many existing aboriginal gangs, with hundreds of full-fledged members and many more “associates” who can be identified by their red bandannas and “IP” tattoos. IP members are believed to be responsible for hundreds of violent crimes, including many murders, mostly of rival gang members in drug wars. Co-founder Richard Wolfe was sentenced to 19 years in prison for armed robbery and attempted murder in 1996, and still maintains a leadership position from his cell.

Gang:
The Galloway Boys, or G-Way

Base:
Scarborough, a section of Toronto, Ontario

History:
In 2000 this small but deadly gang was founded by a youth named Tyshan Riley, who, at the age of 18, became one of Scarborough’s leading gangsters. In 2002 a high-ranking G-Way associate was shot to death by members of their main rivals, the Malvern Crew, from Toronto’s nearby Malvern district. That led to a gang war that saw dozens of drive-by shootings and several murders. In 2004, after a two-year undercover police investigation, Riley and 16 other G-Way members were arrested. Riley alone was charged with 39 offenses, including three murders and five attempted murders. He and two other members were convicted of first-degree murder in July 2009, and each was sentenced to two consecutive life sentences.

You are more likely get rabies from a bat than from any other animal
.

Gang:
Mad Cowz

Base:
Winnipeg, Manitoba

History:
This gang formed in the early 2000s around crack dealing in Winnipeg’s crime-ridden west end. Members are African Canadians, most of them refugees from nations ruined by decades of civil war, such as Somalia and Sudan. New members are recruited from recently arrived immigrants, mostly teenagers already accustomed to violence. The gang quickly became a successful, wealthy, and dangerous force in the city. In late 2005, their success led to a split, and a new rival gang, the African Mafia, was born. That same year, the son of a prominent Manitoba surgeon was shot and killed in the streets by battling Mad Cowz and African Mafia members. His death dominated local news for weeks, and a resulting police crackdown put most of the Mad Cowz’ leadership behind bars. Still, they continue to operate in the city and in prisons.

Gang:
Ace Crew

Base:
Ottawa, Ontario

History:
Formed sometime in the early 1990s, the Ace Crew was involved in activities common to most gangs, including drug dealing and extortion, but they became infamous all over Canada in August 1995 when they abducted four teenagers in retaliation for a perceived slight to the gang by one of the teens. They tortured all four and murdered 17-year-old Sylvain Leduc. Ace Crew member John Wartley Richardson was sentenced to life in prison for the murder, with an additional 73 years added for other crimes. The gang faded, but some members are still active in Ottawa.

Gang:
The Independent Soldiers, or IS

Base:
Vancouver, British Columbia

History:
IS became an organized gang in the early 2000s and is now one of Canada’s most well-known gangs. The membership is multiracial, but the leaders are Indo-Canadians; the gang grew up out of Vancouver’s large Punjabi Sikh community. Dealing in drugs, prostitution, gun-running, and money laundering, the gang has spread across British Columbia and into several towns in neighboring Alberta. IS has been linked to hundreds of shootings and dozens of murders, mostly in Vancouver, since 2005. In January 2009, a crackdown on Mexican drug cartels led to a brutal war between the IS and other Vancouver gangs over dwindling drug supplies, with more than 100 shootings and stabbings and more than a dozen murders in just two months.

The 9/11 attacks in New York and the 2004 train bombings in Madrid were 911 days apart
.

EXTRAS

• A 2008 report by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) said that gang members involved in international drug smuggling had infiltrated airports in major cities around the country. Most were working as baggage handlers.

• More than 130 gangs are based in Vancouver alone, vying for a drug business estimated to be worth more than $6 billion per year.

• In the late 1990s, Toronto police arrested four members of the Spadina Girls, a short-lived, all-female gang led by a 16-year-old girl. The gang consisted entirely of high schoolers, who, among other things, charged other students for protection. The arrests came after gang members brutally assaulted a fellow student at a billiard hall.

• A much more dangerous all-female gang has formed in recent years: the Indian Posse Girls, an offshoot of Indian Posse. They’re believed to be in control of the sex trade in Winnipeg and Edmonton.

• Canada’s Criminal Intelligence Service estimates that more than 11,000 Canadians are members of street gangs.

BOOK: Uncle John's Bathroom Reader The World's Gone Crazy
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