TTFN (31 page)

zoegirl:

hey, mads. can u talk? i mean text?

mad maddie:

well, no one's taken my phone yet, so yeah. u rocked with the moms, dude. she has no clue i was even gone.

zoegirl:

that's because i stayed on the phone with her for an entire hour!!! i was like her therapist. she was all, “i don't understand why maddie would do something like this. you would never make such bad decisions, would you, zoe?” later she asked who else of our friends “participates” in smoking marijuana, as if i was gonna give her a list.

mad maddie:

what a freak

zoegirl:

no, she just loves you. but the worst part was sitting there going, “uh huh, uh huh. no, i'm sure maddie doesn't have a drug problem,” when i didn't even know the whole story.

zoegirl:

so while i'm very glad that you delivered angela to her aunt's, and i'm very very glad that angela herself is safe and sound, will you please tell me what happened to YOU last night?

mad maddie:

u wanna hear the story of the Big Bust? fine, but it's not pretty.

zoegirl:

spill

mad maddie:

i met up with chive and whitney and brannen and meade after northside's basketball game, right? and brannen announced that he wanted some pot. so chive said, “ok, maddie and i will go buy it.”

mad maddie:

now before u get all judgmental, I WASN'T PLANNING ON SMOKING ANY. but i figured it would be a good chance to get chive alone, so that we could talk.

zoegirl:

oh no. it's my fault—because of my dare!

mad maddie:

no, zoe, it's not your fault.

mad maddie:

actually, sure. let's make it your fault.

mad maddie:

anywayz, brannen goes, “i'll come too,” which was extremely annoying cuz i knew HE was saying it to be with ME. so then chive goes, “look, u two just go on. i'll stay here.”

zoegirl:

aargh!

mad maddie:

yeah, but what was i supposed to say? so brannen and i took off to downtown atlanta, and at echo street i took a wrong turn, which meant that brannen ended up on the side where the sellers were, which actually turned out to be very lucky
for me. so brannen bought a nickel bag, and off we drove.

zoegirl:

echo street? nickel bag? how do you know all this, maddie?

mad maddie:

do u wanna hear the story or not?

mad maddie:

five minutes later, i looked behind me and saw a police car. i didn't think anything of it, other than to remind myself AGAIN to get my damn license.

zoegirl:

i thought you already got your new license, that day you went on your secret errand.

mad maddie:

well … i kind of blew it off cuz the line was so long. nice move, huh?

zoegirl:

maddie. omg.

mad maddie:

uh huh, especially cuz it wasn't just a coincidence that the police were behind us. they turned on their lights and bleeped their siren, and i about crapped my pants.

mad maddie:

i pulled over, and the cops yanked me and brannen out of my car. they had us lean up against the door and they frisked us and put handcuffs on us. it was crazy. then one cop drove my car and the other cop drove me and brannen in the squad car, and we went to this big parking lot which was full of more cops and vans and other ppl who were obviously getting busted, just like we were.

zoegirl:

what are you saying, that it was a setup?

mad maddie:

the guy we bought the pot from turned out to be a cop named rudolph—no lie. rudolph took our names and asked which one of us had bought the “oatmeal,” even tho they already knew it was brannen. then the other cop asked me for my license, which of course i didn't have.

zoegirl:

maddie! this is terrible!

mad maddie:

they did a license check on a computer, and for some reason my license didn't come up—or maybe they just SAID it didn't. so the cop said to me, “why are you lying to us, girl? why are you lying?!” he was SO mean. and after a long hassle, they said that i could go, but that brannen was gonna get taken to jail. and then they told me that if i was caught out on the road again, then I'D be sent to jail.

zoegirl:

can they really do that? send kids to jail?

mad maddie:

guess so

zoegirl:

but you didn't end up at jail. you ended up at the police station. i don't understand!

mad maddie:

chill!

mad maddie:

SO … i drove back to chive's and told everyone the story, and then chive and i took off to get brannen out of jail.

zoegirl:

maddie, no!!!

mad maddie:

but we had an unbelievably hard time trying to figure out where brannen was, and we drove around downtown atlanta for like two hours before finding the holding cell. turns out brannen's bail was $1,500, which meant that the bond would be $150. but we only had $98, cuz that's all we'd collected back at chive's. the bondsman we talked to told us that we needed to get the rest of the money and then come back with someone over 24 who had a responsible job. THEN he'd give us the bond.

zoegirl:

good god, maddie. you know all this weird stuff that i would never in a million years dream of knowing.

mad maddie:

believe me, i'd rather not. so we decided to drive to dunwoody and get my cousin donovan, only as
we were walking back to my car we heard a man yell, “hey! you two! get over here!”

zoegirl:

oh no. what now?

mad maddie:

it was the exact same cops who had busted me and brannen after we bought the oatmeal from rudolph. i couldn't fucking believe it. they took us to the station and made us call our parents—and THAT'S why i'm grounded.

zoegirl:

ugh, what a mess. what an awful, awful mess.

mad maddie:

except there is one last thing. i did finish the dare.

zoegirl:

hold on. somehow in the middle of this, you found time to have your heart-to-heart with chive?

mad maddie:

we were sitting on this hard metal bench outside the police station, and i thought, “well, things sure as hell can't get any worse.”

mad maddie:

actually, what i REALLY thought, cuz i'm an idiot, is that we were having, like, this big moment. we were going thru this really shitty thing, but at least we were going thru it together.

zoegirl:

so … what did u say?

mad maddie:

i told him that i liked him—more than just as a friend.

zoegirl:

and?

mad maddie:

it's not good.

mad maddie:

he put his head in his hands and said, “ahh, maddie.” like he was in pain.

zoegirl:

uh oh

mad maddie:

he goes, “maddie … i'm with whitney.” my heart was pounding really hard, but i made myself say, “why?” meaning, she doesn't get u. she can't keep up with u, she doesn't even get your jokes.

zoegirl:

but *you* do

mad maddie:

yeah, i do, and he KNOWS that, zoe. i could c it in his eyes. but he just shook his head really mournfully. he said, “i'm probably making a big mistake, huh?”

zoegirl:

like that's supposed to make it better? don't be man enough to actually *act* on it, just toss it out there like a consolation prize?

zoegirl:

he doesn't deserve you, maddie.

mad maddie:

then he took my hand and gave me one of his soulful looks and said, “we can still spend time together, tho. nothing has to change.”

zoegirl:

is “spending time together” code for “fooling around”?

zoegirl:

i hope you told him to f*ck off!

mad maddie:

then my parents drove up, and that was that.

mad maddie:

the moms is totally bent out of shape. in fact i have to go, cuz she just knocked on my door and said in this pinched voice that she wants to talk to me. guess it's time for lecture #3 on The Evil of Drugs.

zoegirl:

maddie, i am so so so so sorry

mad maddie:

just another sucky day in suck land.

mad maddie:

u know what, tho?

zoegirl:

what?

mad maddie:

i am glad i told him, cuz now i know.

zoegirl:

hey there, sleepyhead. you awake?

SnowAngel:

hey, zo. my aunt told me u called a couple of times, but she didn't wanna wake me. sorry.

zoegirl:

that's ok, i just wanted to check in and see how you're doing.

SnowAngel:

about like this, i'd say.

zoegirl:

what's that, you with tire tracks across your face?

SnowAngel:

i just got off the phone with my mom. she said she's really upset with me for running away, but that she's also really upset that she didn't know how unhappy i was living in el cerrito. i was like, “mom, u didn't know cuz u didn't WANT to know.”

zoegirl:

is she going to make u go back?

SnowAngel:

NO, cuz i refuse to. i told her that flat-out, and she said, “angela, ur our daughter. u'll do what we say.” *rolls eyes*

zoegirl:

so what does that mean?

SnowAngel:

we're in negotiation. let's put it that way.

zoegirl:

what about school?

SnowAngel:

if i stay here with aunt sadie, i'll go back to school with u guys. but not tomorrow. not till everything gets settled one way or another.

zoegirl:

wow. i am so impressed with u, angela. i really am.

SnowAngel:

what about u—how's life on the home front?

zoegirl:

ehh …

zoegirl:

on the bright side, i didn't run away, and i didn't get busted buying pot. on the un-bright side, my mother saw my boyfriend's naked butt.

SnowAngel:

the dark side of the moon, like that pink floyd song. hee hee.

zoegirl:

i'm glad you can laugh about it

zoegirl:

it's just so ridiculous, my mom coming home from the prom and catching me and doug all over each other. and poor doug! he sent me an email saying he's never stepping foot in my house again.

SnowAngel:

and ur never stepping foot out of your house again, if your mom has anything to say about it. which will make things tricky, huh?

zoegirl:

well, i'll see doug at school, of course.

zoegirl:

you know what's weird? i'm not glad that mom walked in on us, obviously, but at the same time …

SnowAngel:

at the same time what?

zoegirl:

we stopped because my mom barged in on us. but if she hadn't … i don't know what would have happened. and that kind of scares me, because as you know, i wasn't planning on that.

SnowAngel:

whoa

zoegirl:

or maybe it wouldn't have happened anyway. it probably wouldn't have.

SnowAngel:

this time u really r talking about sex, right? about u and doug going all the way?

zoegirl:

we didn't even have condoms, angela. it would have been bad.

SnowAngel:

r u gonna buy some for next time?

zoegirl:

there's not going to *be* a next time for a very long time. i'm sure my mom's going to make it hard for me and doug to be alone together, even when i'm not grounded anymore. *if* i'm ever not grounded anymore.

SnowAngel:

and how do u feel about this? *raises eyebrows inquiringly*

zoegirl:

frustrated? relieved?

zoegirl:

i don't know!

zoegirl:

the whole night—until mom busted in—was amazing. and my body wanted more and more and more. but deep down i'm just not ready.

SnowAngel:

how does doug feel about it?

zoegirl:

he's like me—at least he says he is. although part of me thinks that if i said, “yes, let's go for it,” he'd agree right away.

SnowAngel:

nooooo, really?

zoegirl:

i do love him, angela. it's just all so confusing.

SnowAngel:

don't i know it. and not just boys, but EVERYTHING!