To Love and Protect (7 page)

“What in the hell are you doing?” he demanded as he strode into the room and jerked the shears out of her hand.

“That’s none of your business! Give them back!”

“No.
 
When you came to me for help, everything about you became my business, do you understand?
 
Now, what were you planning on doing?”

“Cutting my hair.”

“
What?
” he asked incredulously.
 
She thought to destroy what he had so recently fantasized about?
 
He would not allow it.

“I was going to cut my hair,” she repeated slowly as if he were daft.

“Why?”

“I thought it would be easier if I posed as a boy while we traveled.
 
I could tie my hair back in a queue. Perhaps even darken it and my skin with crushed walnut shells.”

“No.”

“Why not?
 
Besides, what do you care?”

He tossed the scissors onto the bed and stepped closer to her.
 
“It should be illegal to cut off one strand of this gorgeous hair.
 
Do you know, right now, with the lamp light shining on it, it looks like spun silver?”
 
He lifted a hand and tenderly ran his fingers through the tresses.

Clarissa’s heart pounded madly.
 
His other hand caressed her jaw.
 
Justin’s hands felt calloused, as if he actually worked, not like the other men of the
ton
.
 
Hawkescliffe’s hands had often been gloved, but the few times they had not been her heart had not pounded erratically like this.
 
Justin tilted her head back and lowered his so that their lips lightly met.

He pulled back, and Clarissa found herself rising on her tiptoes to make the contact last longer.
 
Justin pulled her closer, teasing the seam of her lips with his tongue.
 
She gasped in shock at what he did.
 
Her gasp allowed his tongue to fully access the recesses of her mouth.

“What are you doing?” she questioned after she pushed him away.

“Didn’t Hawkescliffe ever kiss you like that?”

“No.”

“Did he kiss you at all?”

“Only on the hand or the cheek.
 
He was always a perfect gentleman.”

“He’s a damn prig is what he is.
 
I’m not a perfect gentleman, and best you know that now, Clarissa.”

“Perhaps I should recruit someone else to help me find Papa.”

“It’s too late for that.
 
It’ll be me or no one.
 
Meet me in the study in an hour.
 
We need to talk and make some plans.” He turned to leave the room then turned back and grabbed the shears.
 
“I’ll be taking these with me.” He closed the door behind him.

Clarissa melted onto the bed.
 
Never before had she felt such a thing as what she felt after kissing Justin.
 
She should not be feeling anything for the man.
 
He made her blood boil at every turn.
 
She found him to be stubborn and aggravating.
 
Then why did parts of her body throb that she had not been aware of ever before?
 
She rested her head in her shaky hands.
 
If this is how they were to spend the entire search, she was in trouble.

***

Justin gathered control of himself once more.
 
When he reached the study, he locked the shears up in the safe.
 
If anyone but him checked the safe, they would wonder what had gotten into him, but at least Clarissa’s hair would be safe.
 
He sat down at the desk and made a list of the items he needed to discuss with Clarissa.

Sometime later there was a light tap on the door, and he called, “Enter.”
 
He looked up in time to see Clarissa walk into the room.
 
She walked so gracefully she appeared to float.

“I’m here as you requested.”

“Have a seat.”
 
She did, her hands crossed in her lap.
 
Clarissa looked at him with an expectant look on her face.
 
“What?”

“I’m waiting for an apology,” she said calmly.

“What for?”

“This afternoon.
 
When you attacked me in my bedchamber.”

“I did not attack you, and I will not apologize for it.”

“You, sir, are no gentleman.”

“I believe I already told you I wasn’t.
 
Now, we have some things to discuss.
 
It is my thought that we can travel as husband and wife.”

“What?”

“It seems the easiest way.
 
This would allow you to question the women, and me the men.”

“I don’t know,” she said hesitantly.

“We do not have to use our own names, in fact, I wouldn’t since we will most likely be followed.
 
Also, our relationship will remain purely platonic.”

“You can say that after what just happened?”

“I didn’t say I would like it,” he countered.

“Good, then both of us are not going to like something about the situation.
 
What else do we need to discuss?”

“Your father’s will.”

“The solicitor allowed you to see it?”

“Not exactly.”

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t harm the man, if that’s what you think.
 
Now do you want to know what the will states or don’t you?”

“Go ahead.”

“Your father changed his will recently.
 
It leaves everything to your stepmother if you do not marry and have a child by your twenty-first birthday.”

“That’s ridiculous.
 
That is barely a year away.”

“Ridiculous it may be, but I read it.
 
That is what he wanted.
 
If your stepmother has any idea of the new will, your father’s life could very well be forfeit.
 
It would also explain why Franklin has been so interested in you of late.”

“Oh, Lord,” she said, her mind spinning.
 
“Why would he do this?
 
Just because I told him I wouldn’t marry but would take care of him instead?
 
All of this disaster has happened because of my careless words.
 
But I didn’t mean them to be careless.
 
For so long Papa refused to marry.
 
I just wanted him to be happy,” all of a sudden she felt hands settle firmly on her upper arms and lift her out of the chair.
 
Strong arms closed around her.

“You cannot blame yourself.
 
Your father is a grown man.
 
He can only blame himself for whatever decision he has made.
 
Now do you agree as to how we should travel?”

“No.
 
We could pose as brother and sister.”

“Separate bedrooms,” he replied.
 
“I can’t keep you safe.”

“I suppose I don’t have much of a choice then, do I?”

“Not if you want to go with me.”
 
He felt her head move up and down against his chest and continued to hold her for a few minutes more.

“I should go to bed,” she pushed away from him.

“Yes, we will be getting an early start.
 
Can you ride?”

“Yes, side-saddle and astride.”

“Good.
 
See if you can find some breeches to wear under your skirt.
 
We can travel faster on horseback until we find your father.”

“Thank you for that at least,” she said, her hand on the doorknob.

“For what?”

“For thinking he’s still alive.”

Chapter 4

They started early the next morning, leaving before Gertrude rose and could insist on accompanying them.
 
Justin had been correct about wearing the men’s pants underneath her dress.
 
They made the entire riding experience much more enjoyable.
 
Justin and Clarissa followed a route that he expected her father to have traveled if he were truly going where he claimed.

At every town and village they stopped to make inquiries.
 
By the time nightfall came, the only indication of how Clarissa held up was the stoop to her shoulders.
 
Her face revealed nothing of her worry or depression.
 
Justin worried over her lack of expression.
 
He knew she must be feeling something and that holding it in would only make it worse.
 
They rode on in silence until they came to an inn just after full darkness had descended.
 
If the stable hand that came out to greet them was shocked at seeing a lady riding astride, he said nothing.

“I’ll give you an extra shilling for taking extra care of our horses tonight,” Justin said as Clarissa stumbled across the inn yard.
 
She was not new to riding, but not for such long lengths of time.
 
Her legs felt like rubber, her posterior was beyond sore, and her shoulders and back ached.
 
Blisters had begun to form on her fingers from the reins even through her fine, leather gloves.
 

A strong arm circled around her waist, pulling her against a strong body.
 
Clarissa jumped away from him in alarm and stumbled, nearly falling at the sudden movement.
 
In fact, if it were not for Justin’s arm securely around her, she could very well be lying face first in horse manure.

“It’s all right, it’s only me.”

“I know that,” she answered surly.
 
“I can walk on my own.”

“I’m sure you can,” he agreed nonchalantly.
 

Deciding to spare them both the energy spent on an argument, Clarissa leaned into his strength and allowing him to help her across the yard.
 
Tomorrow, you’ll feel better at the end of the day with one day behind you
, she told herself.
 
They registered at the inn and were shown upstairs to a clean room that had an equally clean bed.
 
Clarissa hobbled over to the bed and started to fall onto it in exhaustion when Justin’s voice halted her.
 

“Don’t even think about lying down yet.”

“Why not?” she asked petulantly.
 
She couldn’t help it.
 
Exhaustion made her irritable, and she cared little about the road grime that covered her.

“One, I do not want my bed to become filthy, and two, you need a hot bath.”

“I’ll be fine.
 
I’d rather sleep,” she started to sit on the bed once more, but he pulled her away from it.
 

“No,” he put a finger over her lips when she started to argue.
 
He quickly realized his mistake when he felt her tongue flick out and lick her lips, accidentally touching his finger.
 
Justin pulled back his hand as if he had been scalded.
 
“The maid is bringing your bath up right now.
 
I will not listen to any arguments.
 
You will still be sore in the morning, but this will help.”

“I just want to sleep.” She felt on the verge of tears with exhaustion.
 
Justin’s arms wrapped protectively around her, cocooning her in warmth, and she let her eyes drift closed. She promised herself she was only going to rest for a moment.

“Wake up, you’ve got to help me here,” a deep, husky voice whispered in her ear.

“What?” she asked startled.

“Your bath is ready.”
 
She no longer stood.
 
It took her a moment longer to realize she sat on Justin’s lap.
 
She jumped up only to land in a heap on the floor, her legs too wobbly to support her.
 
“Am I really all that bad?” he asked, quirking a smile at her.
 

The Scottish brogue that could be detected in his words caused a shiver to run down her spine.
 
She forced herself to ignore it and look at him directly.
 
She felt herself drowning in his cornflower blue eyes.
 
“Just help me up,” she said, struggling to get to her knees.

“Let’s get your dress unbuttoned first.”

“No, send in one of the maids.”

“There are none.
 
The taproom has filled up with customers and everyone is needed downstairs.
 
I’m your only option.”

“Close your eyes then.”

“And miss your delectable little body?
 
I don’t think so.”

“Southerby, I will crawl over there and pull myself into the water fully clothed,” she warned menacingly.

“Then you will be the only one miserable.”

“Please,” desperation entered her voice.
 
He could tell that she truly would not be able to take much more of his teasing.

“All right, let me help you.”
 
Halfway through the process, Clarissa began to wonder if it would not have been better to let him watch.
 
His blind groping wreaked more havoc on her senses than knowing he watched her would have.
 
But when he helped her lower herself into the hipbath all thoughts flew from her mind.
 
The hot water immediately began relaxing her sore, stiff muscles, even if it did nothing for her rubbery legs.
 
She sunk as low into the water as she could, her head leaning against the lip of the tub.
 
Before long, she snuffled softly, fully asleep once more.
 
She never heard Justin leave the room.

***

Justin climbed the stairs to their shared room after having eaten a satisfying, if plain, meal down in the taproom.
 
He whistled a little tune, feeling like they were on the right track for the first time today.
 
Several men downstairs remembered supping with a man fitting the duke’s description about a month ago.
 
Justin balanced the food tray he had brought for Clarissa in one hand while opening the door with the other.
 
When he entered the room, the whistling abruptly came to a stop.