To Love and Protect (35 page)

“I think she’s gone to sleep,” Maureen told her mother.

“Fainted more like.
 
There was something going on tonight in that dining room.
 
She was mechanical and hardly said a word.”

“Did you see how Justin and her father kept watching her?”

“And then that granddaughter of mine having a mysterious headache?
 
She’s never sick.
 
No.
 
Something is definitely going on, and her body is shutting itself down so she won’t have to deal with it.
 
At least there is no child.
 
I fear she would have lost it if there had been when she fell down the stairs and that armor fell on her.”

“Do you really think she and Justin?”

“Maureen, what did you and Edward do?”
 
Maureen was surprised to feel a blush steal across her face at her age.
 
“Daughter, I would have been more surprised if nothing had happened,” she said patting the countess’s shoulder.
 

“What about the paralysis?”

“I’ve never seen that before in all my days.
 
We will have to treat what we can and pray for the rest.
 
Now we need to start placing these cold compresses on her bruises, especially her stomach area.
 
We don’t need to fight bleeding as well.”
 
Maureen nodded and began doing as her mother instructed.

***

Matilda stepped into the hall after caring for her patient and saw Justin and Clarissa’s father.
 
Both men looked bleak.
 
She could not feel sorry for them if they were responsible for that poor girl’s condition.
 
She cleared her throat watching as both men looked up at her.
 
Justin quickly got to his feet and then helped the older man.

“How’s my little girl?” the duke asked.
 
Justin saw his grandmother’s face and leaned heavily against the wall.
 
Hamilton saw his reaction then demanded, “What is it?”

“She’s not in good shape.
 
She’s running a fever and extremely nauseous.
 
The hit to her temple has me worried, and she has blurred vision.
 
The most important thing you should know is that she is paralyzed on one side of her body.
 
Clarissa cannot speak right now either.”

“Cannot or will not?”
 
Justin queried.

“Cannot.”
 
Justin leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling trying to grasp the reality of the situation.
 
Beside him, he could hear the heavy sobs escaping Clarissa’s father.

“Grams, you should probably know that someone shot at her this afternoon.”

“What?” Hamilton roared.

“We thought it best not to tell anyone.
 
Me, Da’, Clare, and the stable hands knew.
 
We felt it best not to worry anyone else.”

“Someone shot at my little girl, and you thought it best not to tell me?”

“I am trying to take better care of my future wife than you have your daughter,” Justin snarled, causing Hamilton to pause.
 
“I want to see her,” Justin stated.
 
He sounded much calmer than what he felt.

“I don’t know if that is such a wise idea,” Grams said.

“Grams, please, that is my betrothed inside that room.”

“Her face is a bit drawn down on the left side.”

“Is the paralysis permanent?”

“I don’t know.
 
It’s almost as if her body has shut itself down to protect itself.”
 
Both men looked up, guilt etching their faces.
 
“I don’t know that I should let either of you see her.
 
She doesn’t need to be upset for any reason.”

“There was a misunderstanding this afternoon.
 
She found out something I said to Megan and applied it to herself.
 
I want to tell her that it isn’t true.”

“I will think about it, but tonight she will have no visitors.
 
She needs her rest.”
 
Both men nodded their agreement and sat back down on the floor.
 
“You won’t do her any good by sitting on the floor.”

“I’m staying,” her father said, mutinously.

“I will, too.
 
I might need to get help during the night.”

“Fine.
 
We’ll call if we need assistance.”
 
Both men nodded and watched the door close.

“If anything happens to her...” the Clarissa’s father broke off, his voice cracking with emotion.

“It won’t.
 
She’s a fighter.
 
She has to be, because I can’t imagine a world with her not in it.”
 
When he said those words, Justin realized that his feelings for Clarissa went a lot deeper than merely caring.
 
That was such a lukewarm emotion for what he felt for her.
 
It left him feeling both cold and hot.
 
He lusted after her, for certain.
 
What man wouldn’t?
 
Her beauty shines through even when she is covered in cuts, bruises, or mud.
 
But something bigger stirred Justin when it came to Clarissa.
 
Something he witnessed when he looked at his parents and grandparents.
 
I love her
, he thought, stunned.
 
She was his world.
 
The men sat in silence, each sending up their own prayers on behalf of the woman they loved.

***

It was well past midnight before Justin finally talked Hamilton into going to bed.

“I promise I’ll call for you should anything change, one way or the other.”

“I should be here with her.”

“You are not going to do her any good if you have a relapse yourself.
 
Go to bed.
 
I’m going to stay with her.”

“But your grandmother said...”

“I know.
 
But I have been known to get my way where she is concerned now and then.”
 
In the end, he had helped Clarissa’s father off the floor and saw that he made it to his bedroom, but not before promising one last time to call should there be any change at all.
 
Upon his return, Justin knocked softly on the door before letting himself into her room.

“I told you not tonight,” his grandmother said, meeting him at the door.

“I know, but I have to see her.
 
I promise to not say a word.
 
Please Grams, I just want to sit and watch her, if nothing else then to make sure she takes her next breath.”

“What did you do to that girl?”

“Something incredibly stupid.”

“At least you admit that much,” she harrumphed.
 
“You will say nothing cross to her.
 
If she wakens and looks the least bit agitated by your presence, you will remove yourself at once.
 
Do you ken?”
 

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Sit down.”

He did and stared.
 
On the side of her head that had the gash, the blood discolored her hair.
 
They had been afraid to wash it for fear of hurting her more.
 
Her face looked pale and drawn, and as his grandmother had warned him, the left side pulled down a bit.
 
Her left hand curled awkwardly as if it were being drawn into itself.
 
That is the hand that he took in his.
 
He let her fingers wrap around the palm of his hand, and gently, rhythmically stroked them.

“Grams, how is her head?”

“I think the gash is just that.
 
There seems to be no bruising except at the cut.”

“The battleaxe had a little blood on it.”

“It must have cut her as it fell.
 
She’s lucky that’s all it did.”
 
Justin merely nodded knowing that what she said was true.
 
He had come so close to losing her because of a stupid piece of ancient armor.
 
Could still lose her in more ways than one.
 
Justin sat there throughout the night.
 
He did not leave her side nor relinquish her hand at any point during his sentinel.

A stream of light penetrating her eyes woke her.
 
She lifted her right hand to cover them, but felt it promptly caught and placed back at her side by a firm, masculine grip.

“Grams needs to check your eyes,” a dark blurry figure said that sounded suspiciously like Justin.
 
She tried to pull her hand from his, but found herself too weak to succeed.

“Her eyes are slightly better but still too dilated.
 
We will have to wake her and check again in a few hours.”

“Clarissa, can you hear me?” Justin asked, a hint of panic in his voice.
 
“She lifted two fingers Grams.
 
What does that mean?”
 

His grandmother chuckled, before answering, “No.”

“Funny girl,” he said, giving her limp hand a squeeze.
 
“Yes is?”

“One finger.”

“Grams...”

“No.”

“Please.
 
There are some things I need to say to her in private that I would rather you not hear.”
 
Two fingers rapidly shot into the air on Clarissa’s right hand.
 
“Clarissa, please.
 
There was a misunderstanding, and I want to explain myself.”
 
Again two rapid-fire fingers raised.
 
Her eyes began to dart around the room as if looking for assistance.
 

She could feel her body tensing in retaliation to his presence.
 
Her cheeks were flushed, and she could feel her heart rate increasing.
 
Her breathing had become short and choppy.
 
Everything began to blur together.

“Justin, you have to leave.”

“But I need to tell her...”

“You’re going to have to wait...”

“Grams, what’s happening?”
 
The old woman stood with her back to Clarissa, but she quickly saw the horror in her grandson’s eyes.
 
She turned around and began barking commands to Justin.
 
Clarissa was caught in the throes of some kind of seizure.
 
He held her as his grandmother directed and could feel the tenseness of her muscles beneath his hand.
 
She no longer felt like the soft woman he had made love to, but instead she felt as if she could topple a mighty oak.

As the tremors eased, he held her to him rocking her back and forth.
 
He couldn’t stop the tears that gathered at his eyes.
 
Her father might blame himself, but Justin knew that his careless and angry words to his sister had been the death knell.
 
Now he didn’t know how to ever make amends or win her back.

***

Clarissa felt herself swimming up to consciousness as if through a thick fog.
 
Every muscle in her body felt sore, as if she had tried to lift a house from its foundation.
 
Her back ached where she had fallen, and her stomach hurt from the big thing that had fallen on her.
 
She remained unsure as to what it had been.
 
Her head throbbed, and her mouth felt parched.
 

Strong arms were holding her rocking her back and forth.
 
She felt something warm and wet splash on her cheek.
 
She felt frustrated at not being able to see who held her.
 

“Clare, I’m so sorry for what I said,” she heard Justin say.
 
His chest rumbled beneath her cheek.
 
Did he know that she was lucid enough to hear what he said, or was this a moment of complete abandon?
 
“I have been angry at Liam for so long for telling me such horrible things about my brother.
 
When I saw him kissing Megan, I lost it.
 
I was angry with Megan for letting Liam take advantage of her, be part of her life when our brother lay dead in a foreign country,” he kissed the top of her head.
 
“I never meant for you to think that what I said to her was meant for you.
 
Hell, I didn’t truly mean it for Meggy.
 
I have been so angry with Liam for so long.
 
I thought he spoke lies of Jonathan, but Meggy finally made me listen to the truth this evening.

“I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but I will call off our engagement if it will restore your health.
 
I will take full blame for it, so that your reputation will not be harmed.
 
Just please don’t die.
 
I would rather have you in this world without me than not at all.”
 
She felt his lips caress hers then he gently laid her back on the bed.

She watched as his fuzzy form turned towards the door and opened it.
 
He paused and turn back to look at her before walking into the hall and shutting it.
 
A woman came into her line of vision.
 
She could see the swishing of the skirt around her ankles.

“What was that all about?” Matilda asked, even though she knew that Clarissa could not answer her.
 
“You gave us a scare, you know,” she continued.
 
“It has been a long while since I’ve seen anyone in the throes of a seizure as you were.”
 
Clarissa felt shock cross her face.
 
“Don’t worry,” Matilda patted her paralyzed hand, “I’ll take care of you.”
 
Clarissa made her fingers give a small squeeze.
 
“Do that again,” Matilda commanded.
 
Clarissa complied.
 
“Well, well, perhaps you’re on the road to recovery.”