“I’m glad you are amused.”
“You came right out the gate with a race question.”
“A question you have yet to answer.” I raised an eyebrow because he was being evasive. I wanted him to know that I knew what he was up too.
Bash leaned into the table. “Yes I have called someone the ‘N’ word before.”
My heart was beating a little quicker. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was being honest. Maybe it was the anger the word provoked. He could have just lied. He didn’t lie. I need to hear more but his eyes are on me. I’m frozen.
“Do you want me to elaborate or was that all you needed to know.”
“Ah, I mean--”
“I didn’t have a good reason. I don’t think there is a such thing. I was fifteen at that time. I said it to be cool but it didn’t work out the way I planned. I had gotten into a verbal confrontation with this black kid.” His eyebrow rose. “African American kid. Nothing major but when I felt cornered I lashed out and said it. I can’t tell you what I was thinking because it rolled off my tongue like it was natural although I had never said it before.”
“It was natural?”
“Maybe not natural but it was easy. I didn’t know how hurtful it was. I lost my best friend that day. His name was Marco Depalma. Marco heard what happened with the black kid and me. Marco showed up at my house after school. He told me his grandfather was black. He told me I was a racist and he couldn’t be my friend anymore. Marco was Italian. He was white to me. I never even thought beyond that. Well he punched me in the eye and ended our three-year friendship because I called some kid that we didn’t know the ‘N’ word. I had learned so many life lessons in that one day. I missed Marco like he was family. To me he was family, like a brother. He was my best friend. One stupid word and it was over. I tried to hurt some kid and ended up getting hurt in return. I learned so much that day. I have never told anyone that story.”
I wasn’t sure what I should say. I asked for this and I got it. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be outraged. Maybe I was desensitized to the word. Maybe I believed his story or did I just like him so much that I was just going to graze over his little confession. His eyes were sad and sincere. I don’t think he could fake that.
“Nina are you judging me?”
“I’m not supposed to, right?” I smirked.
“No you’re not. But you look like you’re going to call the NAACP on me.”
“Huh.” I shrugged. “I might call Reverend Al Sharpton.” I mumbled.
Bash smiled. “Don’t mask your emotions.”
“I’m not masking them. I’m not sure how I feel. I’m not surprised. That’s all I can say. I’m not surprised.”
“Maybe we should stop this overload of honesty if you’re having a hard time with it.”
“No, I’m cool. It’s your turn. Ask me something?”
“Let me see. What is the worse thing a person can do to another person?” Bash looked into the sky. It was cute. The question wasn’t on the ceiling. “Oh, have you ever killed anyone?”
“No, have you?”
“No, my turn. Have you ever terminated a pregnancy?”
“What?” His first question was weird and this question seemed so random. Then again mine was too.
“You asked a racial question so I think I’m entitled to a medical question.”
“Yes I’ve had an abortion. You never asked but I don’t have any children.”
“Okay.”
“No follow-up questions?”
“No I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to listen.”
“How long have you been divorced?”
Bash looked down at his ring finger. There was no ring. He tried to hide it but I saw it and it made me think.
“It’s been ten years.”
“You never thought to remarry?”
“I never met anyone that was a match.”
“So no one measures up to your ex-wife?”
“No it’s not that.” His brow furrowed.
“Are you still in love with your ex?”
Bash searched my face in a weird way. It was like he was looking for some devious intent in my question. “I’m not in love with my ex-wife.”
“Well that’s good to know?”
“Are you still in love with your ex?” He turned my question on me.
“No, I never was in love with him.”
“Well that’s good to know.” He mocked me.
“I was at the police station filing a restraining order against him. He has been acting strange since the break up and I wanted to take precautions.”
“You dumped him?”
“That’s harsh. The relationship ran its course. He cheated. I found out. It was long overdue. Yes I dumped him.”
“One man’s loss is another man’s gain. Maybe I should send him a gift card.”
“Really?” I giggled. I think I had enough wine.
“Being here with you is all the gift I need.”
“You are so smooth. You have all the right things to say.”
Bash frowned. “I’m not trying to be smooth. I’m just being me.”
“I didn’t mean anything negative by it.”
“I didn’t think you did. I don’t mean to come off that way. I haven’t dated much.”
“Since the divorce?”
“Yeah since the divorce.” Bash shifted in his chair and it wasn’t in a graceful way.
“How long were you married?”
“I was married for twelve years.”
“What happened?” I was prying and I didn’t care. If things went left I could just get in my car and leave. I would bet money he cheated. He’s a natural flirt.
“Things happened.”
I hissed but didn’t even try to. “That’s a vague answer.”
“Ah, it’s, it’s complicated.”
This ex-wife was making him stutter. I know I should lay off but to hell with that.
“We’re not judging each other, remember? Did you cheat on her?”
“No, I would never do that. I take commitments very serious.” He leaned into the table and held my gaze. My heart raced. His warm calm eyes suddenly turned frigid.
“Okay.” I was ready to leave this topic alone. I didn’t want to upset him. I cared about upsetting him. Shocked me too.
“My wife, ex-wife.” He corrected himself. “She betrayed me.” His eyes jetted to the left and then back on me. “She, Caroline.” He coughed out her name like it disgusted him to put the syllables together. “She wasn’t who I thought she was.” He closed his eyes slow before pressing his lips together. He opened his eyes when I opened my mouth to speak.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I’m not.” His words were so unemotional. They didn’t match his face.
I decided to lift the mood. “I’m so glad you’re on the market. You are on the market right?”
“Yes I am.”
“You don’t have any psycho ex-girlfriends lurking out in the parking lot?”
“No I don’t.” He smirked with only half of his mouth. I watched in awe as he licked his lips. There was no way in hell I was going to let him out flirt me. I got this flirt game on lock, Dimples. “I’m all yours.”
“Are you sure you want to be all mine?” I cocked, not tilted. I cocked my head. I got you Dimples. I smiled.
“I’m so very sure of it.” Bash bit his bottom lip into his mouth and raised a single eyebrow.
“What are you doing with your mouth?” I asked because I refuse to let him entice me out of this cute white lace thong I’m wearing.
“I’m remembering what your nipples taste like.”
“Oh.” He’s winning.
This guy right here.
His eyes were making me hot. He wouldn’t say anything. His eyes just bore into me. We were silent while we both eye fucked each other at a distance. I thought about his mouth all over my body. I thought about him hitting it from the back. I thought about wrapping my legs around his waist and taking him deep inside me.
This was just day one. Somebody better strap a suicide vest on me. I’m about to explode.
His voice jolted me back to my surroundings.
“I want to see you tomorrow.”
“You do?”
“I hope I have earned another date. I was good. I kept my hands and fingers on my side of the table.”
“Yes, you did. You didn’t get handsy or fingery.” I smiled thinking of the hot slutty mess I was earlier.
“The night is still young.” Bash quickly downed his wine. “I like you.”
“I like you too.”
“I was thinking about you at work all day.”
“I thought about you too.” I didn’t know why I was so damn talkative and telling this man every ego-boosting thing he wanted to hear. He was confident enough without me stroking his ego and treating him like a demigod.
Girl! Get off his nuts! You know better than that.
“I thought about where we could go if you granted me another date.”
“What did you come up with?”
“I was at work thinking. I didn’t have much time before I saw you tonight. I didn’t want to overdo and overwhelm you with too much preparation.”
“Tell me what won’t overwhelm me.”
“I assume you’re off work on the weekends.”
“Yes your assumption is correct.”
“Tomorrow is Saturday so I thought we could go downtown Chicago to the Blues Fest.”
“You like the Blues?”
“I like all music, mostly rock. Anything with guitar riffs is always sweet. I listened to rap and hip-hop in college but I like all music. So are you up for the Blues Fest?” His eyes moved to my lips.
“Yes it sounds fun. Have you been before?”
“Yes when I was in college. I spent a lot of time downtown back then.”
“I’ve been once to at least every fest when I was younger, all except for Lollapalooza.”
“Seriously, Lollapalooza, it’s the best one we have here.”
“Well it is the most famous one we have in the Windy City.”
“I promise we will have fun. I will pick you up nine thirty. We can have a breakfast and then head out to Grant Park.”
“I can just meet you--”
“Sorry that’s not going to be an option this time. There’s no way we’re taking two cars downtown Chicago. The weather is hot and it’s the Blues Fest. We’re taking one car and I’m driving.”
“You are so bossy?”
“I am a boss.” He said in his privileged white, I own my own company way. Not the urban street way. I smiled. It was cute. He was so damn cute. “I promise to drive safe and keep my hands to myself.”
“Hands to yourself, like you did in my car earlier today.”
“Oh Nina, you’re not going to hold that against me are you?” He joked.
Thinking of it made me crack a smile. “I would never do that.”
“Good I could have sworn you enjoyed it.”
“Yeah I did but don’t tell anyone. It’s our secret.”
“I like having a secret with you. I want to have more, secrets.”
“That can be arranged.”
“You’re so much fun.”
“I’m all right.”
“You’re easy to talk to. I don’t think you have some hidden agenda.”
“Hidden agenda?” He had a way with words. I found myself repeating his words more often than not.
“Yeah, I think you actually are just here in the moment with me.”
“Where else would I be?” I smiled. I was always smiling around this man. He was talking in riddles but it was okay with me. He probably had some horrible dating experiences. I definitely could relate to that.
“So tomorrow. I didn’t purchase VIP tickets. I figured we would just mingle amongst the general public. Is that okay with you?”
“Do you know how to mingle amongst the general public?” I meant all those old blues loving black folks that were going to be piled into Grant Park?
“I can fit in anywhere.” He confidently stated but I didn’t believe that for one minute. I could never imagine him in a soup kitchen feeding the homeless. I honestly wasn’t that type of person either. I donated to charity. I did Toys for Tots at Christmas and even sponsored a battered woman and her kids for a year until she got her Nursing degree but I wasn’t hands on. I wonder if Bash gave to charity or was he one of those selfish rich snobs. He didn’t seem snobby if you remove the Porsche from the equation.
I pondered what other expensive toys he owns. I wonder what he really does for a living? He told me it was something about software but I was too high on him to even want to investigate him.
Maybe I should have let Tangie do an Internet search on him. I don’t want to read anything bad. I’m feeling happy right now and I want it to last for a minute. No Google. No Bing. No Yahoo. No nothing. I will just check to see if he is in the Department of Corrections database and see if he’s on the sex offender registry. I really like him so that’s enough for now.
We ate and we talked like we were old friends but it was clear we were becoming new friends. Sebastian Vandervol was a charmer. I loved saying his name even if it was only in my head. I learned a few things about him. It wasn’t much, only the things he freely shared. I didn’t push for information because I didn’t want him to push back. This was only our first date. It was the second date if you counted the coffee shop. I wanted to move slowly which would be hard considering he already got to third base.