The Tempest (9 page)

CALIBAN
    All the infections that the sun sucks up

From bogs, fens,
flats
²
, on Prosper fall, and make him

By
inch-meal
³
a disease. His spirits hear me,

And yet I needs must curse. But they’ll
nor
pinch
⁴
,

Fright me with
urchin-shows
⁵
, pitch me i’th’mire,

Nor lead me like a
firebrand
⁶
in the dark

Out of my way, unless he bid ’em: but

For every trifle are they set upon me,

Sometime like apes, that
mow
⁹
and chatter at me,

And after bite me: then like hedgehogs, which

Lie tumbling in my barefoot way and mount

Their pricks at my footfall: sometime am I

All
wound
with adders, who with
cloven
¹³
tongues

Do hiss me into madness.

                                            Lo
¹⁵
, now, lo!

Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me

For bringing wood in slowly. I’ll fall flat:

Lies down and covers
himself with his cloak

Perchance he will not
mind
¹⁸
me.

TRINCULO
    Here’s neither bush nor shrub to
bear off
¹⁹
any

weather at all, and another storm brewing: I hear it sing

i’th’wind: yond same black cloud, yond huge one, looks like

a foul
bombard
²²
that would shed his liquor. If it should

thunder as it did before, I know not where to hide my head:

yond same cloud cannot choose but fall by pailfuls. What

have we here? A man or a fish? Dead or alive?

A fish, he smells like a fish: a very ancient and fishlike

smell: a kind of not-of-the-newest
poor-John.
²⁷
A strange fish!

Were I in England now — as once I was — and had but

this
fish painted
²⁹
, not a holiday fool there but would give a

piece of silver: there would this monster
make a man
³⁰
: any

strange beast there makes a man: when they will not give a

doit
³²
to relieve a lame beggar, they will lay out ten to see a

dead Indian.
Legged
³³
like a man and his fins like arms! Warm,

o’my troth! I do now
let loose
³⁴
my opinion, hold it no longer:

this is no fish, but an islander that hath lately suffered by

a thunderbolt. Alas, the storm is come again! My

best way is to creep under his
gaberdine
³⁷
: there is no other

shelter hereabout. Misery acquaints a man with strange

bedfellows: I will here
shroud
³⁹
till the dregs

of the storm be past.

STEPHANO
    I shall no more to sea, to sea:

With a bottle in his hand

Here shall I die ashore—

This is a very
scurvy
⁴³
tune to sing at a man’s funeral: well,

here’s my comfort.

   The master, the
swabber
⁴⁵
, the boatswain and I,

   The gunner and his mate,

   Loved Mall, Meg and Marian and Margery,

   But none of us cared for Kate.

   For she had a tongue with a
tang
⁴⁹
,

   Would cry to a sailor, ‘Go hang!’

   She loved not the
savour
⁵¹
of tar nor of pitch,

   Yet a
tailor might scratch her where’er she did itch
⁵²
:

   Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!

   This is a scurvy tune too: but here’s my comfort.

CALIBAN
    Do not torment me: O!

STEPHANO
    What’s
the matter?
⁵⁶
Have we devils here? Do you put

tricks upon’s with savages and men of
Ind
⁵⁷
, ha? I have not

scaped drowning to be afeard now of your four legs: for it

hath been said, ‘As
proper
a man as ever went on
four legs
⁵⁹
,

cannot make him
give ground
⁶⁰
’: and it shall be said so again,

while Stephano breathes
at’nostrils.
⁶¹

CALIBAN
    The spirit torments me: O!

STEPHANO
    This is some monster of the isle with four legs, who

hath got, as I take it, an
ague.
⁶⁴
Where the devil should he

learn our language? I will give him some
relief
⁶⁵
, if it be but for

that. If I can
recover
⁶⁶
him, and keep him tame, and get to

Naples with him, he’s a present for any emperor that ever

trod on
neat’s leather.
⁶⁸

CALIBAN
    Do not torment me, prithee: I’ll bring my wood

home faster.

STEPHANO
    He’s in his fit now, and does not talk
after
⁷¹
the wisest.

He shall taste of my bottle: if he have never drunk wine

afore, it will go near to remove his fit. If
I can recover him
⁷³

and keep him tame, I will not take too much for him: he shall

pay for him that hath him, and that soundly.

CALIBAN
    Thou dost me yet but little hurt: thou wilt
anon
⁷⁶
, I

know it by thy trembling. Now Prosper works upon thee.

STEPHANO
    
Come on your ways
⁷⁸
: open your mouth: here is that

which will give
language to you, cat.
⁷⁹
Open your mouth: this

will
shake
⁸⁰
your shaking, I can tell you,

and that soundly: you cannot tell who’s your friend: open

your
chaps
⁸²
again.

Caliban spits it out

TRINCULO
    I should know that voice: it should be— but he is

drowned, and these are devils. O, defend me!

STEPHANO
    Four legs and two voices: a most
delicate
⁸⁵
monster!

His forward voice now is to speak well of his friend: his

backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to
detract.
⁸⁷
If all

the wine in my bottle will recover him, I will help his ague.

Come. Amen! I will pour some in thy other mouth.

TRINCULO
    Stephano!

STEPHANO
    Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy! This is

a devil, and no monster: I will leave him, I have no
long
⁹²

spoon.

TRINCULO
    Stephano! If thou be’st Stephano, touch me and

speak to me, for I am Trinculo — be not afeard — thy good

friend Trinculo.

STEPHANO
    If thou be’st Trinculo, come forth: I’ll pull thee by

the
lesser legs.
⁹⁸
If any be Trinculo’s legs,

Pulls him out

these are they. Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How cam’st

thou to be the
siege
of this
moon-calf?
Can he
vent
¹⁰⁰

Trinculos?

TRINCULO
    I took him to be killed with a thunder-stroke: but art

thou not drowned, Stephano? I hope now thou art not

drowned: is the storm
overblown?
¹⁰⁴
I hid me under the dead

moon-calf’s gaberdine for fear of the storm: and art thou

living, Stephano? O Stephano, two

Trinculo and Stephano
embrace or dance

Neapolitans scaped!

STEPHANO
    Prithee, do not turn me about: my stomach is not

constant.

CALIBAN
    These be fine things,
an if
¹¹⁰
they be not sprites.

That’s a brave god and bears celestial liquor:

I will kneel to him.

STEPHANO
    How didst thou scape? How cam’st thou hither?

Swear by this bottle how thou cam’st hither. I escaped upon

a
butt of sack
¹¹⁵
which the sailors heaved o’erboard, by this

bottle which I made of the bark of a tree with mine own

hands since I was cast ashore.

CALIBAN
    I’ll swear upon that bottle to be thy true subject, for

the liquor is not earthly.

STEPHANO
    Here: swear then how thou escap’dst.

TRINCULO
    Swum ashore, man, like a duck: I can swim like a

duck, I’ll be sworn.

STEPHANO
    Here,
kiss the book.
¹²³
Though thou canst swim like a

duck, thou art made like a
goose.
¹²⁴

Gives Trinculo the bottle

TRINCULO
    O Stephano, hast any more of this?

STEPHANO
    The whole butt, man: my cellar is in a rock by

th’sea-side, where my wine is hid.— How now, moon-calf?

How does thine ague?

To Caliban

CALIBAN
    Hast thou not dropped from heaven?

STEPHANO
    Out o’th’moon, I do assure thee: I was the man

i’th’moon
when time was.
¹³¹

CALIBAN
    I have seen thee in her, and I do
adore
¹³²
thee: my

mistress
showed me thee, and thy
dog, and thy bush.
¹³³

STEPHANO
    Come, swear to that: kiss the book: I will furnish it

anon with
new contents.
¹³⁶

Swear.

Caliban drinks

TRINCULO
    By this
good light
, this is a very
shallow
¹³⁷
monster! I

afeard of him? A very weak monster! The man

i’th’moon? A most poor, credulous monster! Well
drawn
¹³⁹
,

monster, in good
sooth!
¹⁴⁰

CALIBAN
    I’ll show thee every fertile inch o’th’island: and I

will kiss thy foot. I prithee, be my god.

TRINCULO
    By this light, a most
perfidious
¹⁴³
and drunken

monster! When’s god’s asleep, he’ll rob

his bottle.

CALIBAN
    I’ll kiss thy foot: I’ll swear myself thy subject.

STEPHANO
    Come on then: down, and swear.

TRINCULO
    I shall laugh myself to death at this
puppy-headed
¹⁴⁸

monster. A most scurvy monster! I could find in my heart to

beat him—

STEPHANO
    Come, kiss.

To Caliban

TRINCULO
    —But that the poor monster’s
in drink
¹⁵²
: an

abominable monster!

CALIBAN
    I’ll show thee the best springs: I’ll pluck thee

berries: I’ll fish for thee and get thee wood enough. A plague

upon the tyrant that I serve! I’ll bear him no more sticks, but

follow thee, thou wondrous man.

TRINCULO
    A most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder of a

poor drunkard!

CALIBAN
    I prithee, let me bring thee where
crabs
¹⁶⁰
grow: and I

with my long nails will dig thee
pignuts
¹⁶¹
: show thee a jay’s

nest and instruct thee how to snare the nimble
marmoset
¹⁶²
:

I’ll bring thee to clust’ring
filberts
¹⁶³
, and sometimes I’ll get

thee young
scamels
¹⁶⁴
from the rock. Wilt thou go with me?

STEPHANO
    I prithee, now lead the way without any more

talking. Trinculo, the king and all our company else being