The No Cry Discipline Solution (19 page)

Discipline and Cooperation: Choose Your Adventure

77

Mother-Speak

“ We love doing the cooperation games, making things talk,

and making cooperation fun. If life can’t be fun for a child,

then what’s the point in being a child? The adult world is

so very serious, there’s plenty of time for that. So, with our

daughter we try not to take too many things too seriously.”

—Kristi, mother to Arianna, age 3

Engage the Imagination

A variation on the Make It Talk technique that also works very

well is to capitalize on a young child’s vivid imagination as a way to

thwart negative emotions. You might pretend to fi nd a trail of cat-

erpillars on the way to the store, hop to the car like a kangaroo, or

pretend a carrot turns you orange as you eat it. Vegetable soup can

be transformed into a magic power brew, a toothbrush can have a

voice and locate every speck of food on the teeth as it does its work,

or the toys can come alive and make a parade into the toy box.

Children love to pretend, and, by entering their world and

playing along with them, you can prevent many skirmishes over

everyday chores. Once you open your mind to the possibilities,

you’ll see that almost any event can be sweetened with a little fun

imagination.

Sing a Song

Even if you can’t carry a tune, putting anything to music makes

you easier to listen to and more fun, too. You can wash your child’s

78

No-Cry Discipline Parenting Skills and Tools

hands while singing “This is the way we wash our hands, wash our

hands.” One mom of fi ve discovered a great way to keep her chil-

dren content during car rides. She loved to sing, so she made up

opera tunes about the scenes she saw as she drove along the road.

Her children would often chime in with their own versions.

You can sing whenever the spirit moves you. You can sing songs

that you know just to liven up the moment, or you can create a partic-

ular song to be used as a cue to certain tasks—such as a cleanup song

that takes place whenever the toys are picked up and put away.

A beautiful side effect of putting your words to music is that

both you and your child will end up feeling much happier.

Mother-Speak

“ I learned the hard way about being too serious versus making

a game out of things. One day, Maya and I were going for a

walk to the park. When we walked through a neighbor’s yard

she picked up some pebbles and threw them. I told her that

we don’t throw rocks. Then I said, ‘If you throw those again,

then we are going home and not to the park.’ She did throw

them again, so I picked her up and we started back home.

She screamed bloody murder the whole way. I was sure the

neighbors were all watching me do the walk of shame home

with a screaming child. Long story short, I guess it was good

that I kept my word but I learned that lots of times I was going

much too quickly to the consequence, without attempting a

more pleasant approach fi rst. Now when something like that

happens, I am more creative. We usually end up following

imaginary caterpillars or marching in a parade to the park.

And it’s so much nicer for both of us.”

—Michelle, mother to Maya, age 3