The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want (39 page)

  Talk for a little longer, and then end the call first.

If you call and get voicemail, it’s usually better to hang up and send a text. If you do leave a message, make it quick so you end the call before the recording time runs out. If you plan on calling her back in three days, don’t tell her, “I’ll call you in three days.” Just say or text her something short and sweet like, “Okay, talk to you soon.” Leave her wondering when and if.

The best time to call is when you’re on your way to a date, when you’re on a high after a successful day at work, or when you’ve just had some good gaming results. You will naturally sub-communicate attractive qualities (you’re busy, you’re high-energy, you have choices, you’re not needy or outcome-dependent) that are very tough to fake.

Don’t plan the call for three hours and make it from your bedroom in total silence. It’s better to be walking down the street or on your way somewhere. If you sense that she’s about to wind up the call, head her off at the pass and say that you’d better go. It’s all about maintaining control.

Lot’s of guys like to try to game online, but not me. I don’t think it’s the way to improve your game skills, because it keeps you within your comfort zone and it takes up a surprising amount of time. It’s also virtually anonymous, so people never really know who it is they’re dealing with.

I do use Facebook, though, and when you number close a girl via FB there are different levels of connection:

  It’s so solid that you know you’ll see her again.

  You
think
you’ll see her again, but there is potential for her to flake.

  You’re not in a position to get a very solid close.

If you close the girl and then add her as a friend on Facebook, something interesting will happen and you will need to be prepared.

First, you need a good profile picture. My page has photographs of me from all over the world, with hot girls, with a bunch of martial arts black belts (they were my cousin’s belts), with a cute dog, flying a plane, etc. Trust me, your new “friends” are definitely going to look through all this from time to time, especially when you add new photographs. So do this fairly often, because it will help to create more intrigue and interest. It’s something that I’ve learned to do, with much success.

Over a couple of weeks, my new girl sees when I add new photos, new friends, etc. Now, even though we haven’t had our first date yet, we’re almost a social circle! She sees my face every day when she logs in on her
friends
list. She knows what I’m up to. It’s better and more efficient than a daily text. After a few days, she’s primed for some direct Facebook messages or maybe even an invitation to a “safe” event like a night out with a bunch of other people from Facebook. Often she’ll even initiate that contact. While I’ve received notably varying responses from girls that I have closed and added to Facebook, the technique is definitely fun and worth adding to your repertoire.

W
e’ve been through all the steps of an effective pickup and you’re just about ready to go out on your own—as a natural at attracting women. Before you do, let me try to anticipate some lingering questions you might have.

I talked a bit earlier about having a wingman. “Winging” is what I call it when you’re working together with a friend to meet girls. That collaboration can greatly increase your chances. If you’re alone you can approach lone girls, and you can approach groups to try to isolate a particular girl. But it can sometimes be tricky, especially when you’re first starting out. On the other hand, if you’re with a wing, when you approach a pair of girls you can isolate almost immediately and don’t have to hold a large group for a long time. Together you should achieve more. Sometimes one of you will have to talk to girls you’re not attracted to so as to allow the other one his opportunity, but it all balances out.

There are various ways to wing together. Some of the best approaches are these:

“Spontaneous” involvement
. Both of you stand near the girls, having fun together and reacting to what each other says. Then open the girls, seemingly spontaneously. In the following example, the first sentence is said (loudly enough to be overheard by the girls), while the second includes the group: “No way! Hey guys, do I look gay? He just said I look gay in this shirt!”

Tag-teaming
. One of you approaches and opens the whole group; the other wanders in once the group is hooked. If it’s a pair of girls, you can both isolate. With a bigger group, one guy should take on the group while the other one isolates the girl he’s interested in. This could be either the guy who opened or the one who comes in later. With a mixed group, I find it’s best for the first of you to open the guys first and make friends with them; while this is going on, the wing comes in and takes the girl.

Accomplishment intros
. “This is my friend; he has the coolest job—he lives and works at the bottom of the sea, repairing oil platforms!” What you’re doing is making your friend sound cool in some way. If he did that himself, it would be bragging, but if you do it it’s fine.

Where’s Michelle?
A pickup artist I know called “Toe Cutter” came up with this one. It’s a way of making sure you have your wingman when you need him and
don’t
have him when he would just get in the way. The wing comes into a group you’re already part of and asks if you’ve seen Michelle. You say you think she’s over there and point in some direction. He turns to leave; if you want him in the interaction, you pull him back in and introduce him. If not, you let him go.

Code words
. You can work out code words with your wing: for example, for location changing (“I like this song”), taking the girls home (“Want some gum?”), and identifying your girl (“This one is trouble”).

While clubbing with a wingman can be great fun, it’s important to have fun with your wing(s) in a nonclub environment too. Do competitive fun activities together—sports, games, arcading, bowling. Harness upbeat, high energy. If your only connection is skulking around looking for chicks, your relationship won’t be as interesting—or as useful with women. Find some stories to tell, have loads of fun, and then bring the party to the location.

In your mission to attract, you’re going to get plenty of objections from girls. How you deal with these is very important. Many objections are just tests to see if you’re enough of a man. Women are looking more for your attitude here than what you say. After looking at the examples that follow, you can develop the right mental frame to come up with your own objection responses.

Girl:
I have a boyfriend.

You:
Cool, he can make us breakfast in bed.

Or…

You:
You’ve got a bore-friend?

Or…

You:
Good, it’ll give you something to do when I’m busy.

Or…

You:
Excellent, he can hang out with my girlfriend when
we’re
together.

Or…

You:
Nice. Anyway …
(Continue seduction.)

I should add the disclaimer here that you shouldn’t mess up people’s relationships lightly. You’d be treading on dangerous ground. I personally haven’t messed up a good relationship, and there are no girls out there who hate me for breaking their heart. My morals mean I get laid less than I might otherwise, but I can genuinely say I love women and don’t want to hurt them unnecessarily.

The first type of girl who raises the boyfriend objection acts like she’s single, even if she says yes when you ask if she has a boyfriend. If despite her verbal response she’s grinding on you, expressing interest, and showing no compunction whatsoever about flirting, she’s obviously not in a relationship that she seriously cares about.

The second type shows signs of interest but seems kind of torn. She often acts nervous and unpredictable; that’s because she wants you but doesn’t really want to cheat. This girl is not in an
amazing
relationship, but she likes the guy and has morals. She can easily be persuaded to develop the interaction with you if you slowly build comfort and stay far away from the subject. If you take things further with this girl, you need to consider whether you’re doing the right thing, because, unlike girl number one, she probably wouldn’t cheat with just any guy.