The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want (40 page)

The third type is the rarest of them all. In fact, it took me a few hundred approaches before I encountered this kind of girl. She has fun with you and laughs a lot, and together you have a great interaction.
But
there’s absolutely no sexual tension or indication of interest. She’s not looking at you in that way at all; you might as well be gay or a girl. The reason she can hold herself apart like this is that she’s in a very solid relationship. She knows that no man can show her more in thirty minutes than her boyfriend has in the months or years that they’ve been together. Even if you’re better looking, funnier, and everything she’s looking for, she’s just not thinking along those lines at all. This is a very nice girl; you want one like this for yourself when you develop a proper relationship. They’re rare, as I mentioned; you won’t find many in clubs.

Okay, so you can get into the semi-exclusive clubs and you can get into the places where you know someone. But how do you get into the bigger scenes, like the celebrity after-parties? The first thing to know about these things is that there are some normal dudes in these places; the guests aren’t
only
models, millionaires, and celebrities. The owners and managers at the club will have some guest-list power, and often so will important promoters. But let’s assume you know none of these people.

So how do you get in? Here are my four secret methods revealed:

The gal with the clipboard is at the door. You approach and give her the name of Ben Harris “plus one”—and you’re the “one.” She checks her list, and while she’s doing that you take a surreptitious look at that list. She finally says you’re not on it, of course. You step aside and make a quick call on your cell phone, then go back and tell her it’s actually John Doe—a name that you just saw on the list. This one works in limited cases.

You’re near the entrance, but not in line, and the clipboard gal is facing the line, meaning she’s at a ninety-degree angle to the street. If you go to the door, you’ll be asked what you want or told to go to the back of the line or to move away. But if you go toward the door while pretending to be on your cell phone, you might be able to get far enough past her to see over her shoulder. So get on the phone and go up to where she is and take a quick look at her guest list. Spy some names; then get in the line and use one of them.

Many nightclubs use marker pens to mark people who go out to smoke. You can buy an ultraviolet pen or whatever they use at that particular club on eBay. Hang around the entrance (using the cell phone trick) when people go out to smoke, and see if you can figure out what mark or letter the club is putting on hands. Go away and put the mark on your hand; then hang around outside for a bit before going in. This works best at peak times, when club employees are swamped. If the club is using a stamp, try getting someone to press their hand against yours to transfer it.

This method is the nastiest. You get in the line and start moving forward. When you’re about three minutes from going inside, ask a friendly person in line to keep your place. Walk toward the back while seeming to write a text message. Pick a guy and look at him, surprised. “Hey Matt, how you doing?” “I’m not Matt,” he says. “Really? What’s your name; I’m sure I’ve met you!” “Will.” “Hmm—Will, maybe.

What’s your surname?” “Fraser.” “You know what? The connection will come back to me. I definitely know you from someplace. I never forget a face. I’ll see you inside.” Finish your text and then get back in the line; and when she asks your name, you’re Will Fraser. Don’t feel too bad about Will: he’ll get in too, even if he’s questioned, because he’ll have the proper ID!

I started trying this about a year into my gaming, but it took a long time for it to happen successfully. It took me many more months to figure out what I was doing so that I could teach it to other people.

This is one skill that definitely belongs in the advanced-skills section, because it’s difficult and has certain prerequisites. You can’t run before you can walk, and you can’t instantkiss close until you can:

Force an IOI and go in directly following a positive response.

Create sexual tension and escalate smoothly to the kiss in less than fifteen minutes.

Once you can do the above, the process for the instant-kiss close (a.k.a. k-close) is relatively straightforward. Here’s what you do:

Identify the girl you’re attracted to.

Make eye contact; look at her like you want her and walk directly toward her, slowly and smoothly.

As you get right up close to her, take her hand, run your fingers through her hair, and slowly and confidently move in for the kiss.

The reason this works is because you’re creating sexual tension from a distance, using seductive eye contact. When you then walk directly toward her, she’s forced to either accept (hold eye contact) or reject (break eye contact). You must be walking
directly
, however; otherwise the fact that she holds eye contact doesn’t tell you anything. You must do it slowly to create the sexual vibe—the rhythm of sexual tension is slower and smoother than normal movement. So good luck!

To see this technique in action, go to www.puatraining.com/instantkiss.

I haven’t put much energy into online dating. I’ve met only one girl via the Internet and would rather focus on live situations. This, however, is just me. I love the game of seduction, and for me the online version seems a bit watered down. When you gain command of the skills described in this book, my suspicion is that you will feel the same way.

Having said that, I
do
get a lot of questions about online dating, so I’ve taken the time to build a killer profile that works like crazy. It uses the principles of the natural art of seduction to draw women in, and I’ve had students use it to land very hot chicks. Here’s the profile of your desired woman:

She knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go for it; she likes her man to be a man but still be able to show his emotions. Balance is important to her; she works hard enough but her job doesn’t consume all her energy. She enjoys the nice things in life, but is also spiritual and doesn’t get fully caught up in the quest for material goods. She wants a man in her life, but doesn’t
need
one. She knows that she and her man will be worth more together than apart. She enjoys the simple things in life but can also be spontaneous. She likes to travel to far-off places, relax on sandy beaches under a hot sun, and then cool off in the sea, but she also likes the hustle and bustle of a busy city. This contrast and balance are part of her character. She is centered and content, but being with people that she cares about is important to her. She is kind and considerate and would like to be her naturally caring self with people who have earned her trust. She wants a man who understands her—one she doesn’t need to tell what she wants, but who just
knows
. A man who can be the closest person to her, to help her make decisions, and to always be there and offer her his strength when she needs it. She doesn’t expect to find him right away, but she’ll know when she does.

You’ll see that it says nothing about
you;
there’s no point, because everyone will be saying the same thing, so it’s impossible to stand out. By talking about
her
, you make the profile more engaging. (As I said earlier, women are more interested in hearing about themselves than listening to your story.) Furthermore, you’re qualifying her, and challenging her all the way through. If she reaches the end of the paragraph and thinks she measures up, she’ll want to claim her “prize,” which can only mean contacting you.

My other dating profile was a lot shorter but still got lots of responses: “Be careful: I’m trouble!”

M
y journey over the past five years has been turbulent, full of emotional ups and downs, but I’m incredibly thankful for it. Each month saw new challenges, situations that scared me, and changes taking place within me. I wasn’t always sure that I was on the right path. I didn’t know whether I should change so many aspects of myself. At times I thought I might be becoming strange, and at other times I worried about becoming overly cocky and arrogant. In the end, I managed to find balance and peace, and for the rest of my life I’ll be able to look back at what I was like before and be happy for making the choice to take action.

In the preceding pages I’ve laid out a roadmap for you, so that you can achieve your goals a lot quicker than I could. Some things that I did by accident
you
can do
consciously
. Mistakes I made and outline here
you
never need to make.

Before leaving you to start the process of becoming the best man you can be, I want to give you two very powerful final pieces of advice—advice that will all but assure your success.

People often ask me, “What’s the one thing that helped you the most?” It’s a tough question, but I can identify two things that ensured the success of my journey.

The first is that as soon as I decided to improve this area of my life, I forced myself to seek out and learn from people who were better with women than I was. Rather than socializing with people just like me—nervous guys who were inept socially and inexperienced with women—I found the top tenth of a percent, and I spent as much time observing them as possible.

I never had a guide, someone to tell me what to do at every step. I did, however, have these role models in the form of the people I sought out and became friends with. People like Steve and Alex. Steve is a natural with women and the greatest seducer I’ve ever seen. Over and over again I’ve watched him pick his favorite girl, approach her without rejection, and within minutes be kissing her—and then leave the club with her. He has no idea how he does what he does—he’s a true natural—but I learned a great deal from watching.

Soon after meeting Steve, I took a trip across Europe, visiting thirteen countries over two months, and I came back a different man. I suddenly had the perspective of a man who had slept with countless women, rather than the limiting beliefs that I’d had just months before. The things that Steve did in nightclubs, the way he seduced women, I started doing almost unconsciously. Now I teach my students how to do the same exact things and how to get the same results that Steve got.

One night I saw a guy in a club. He stood out for me because he was surrounded by hot women. I’d been gaming for a year by this point, and usually in this situation would have tried to steal his girls or make him look bad in some way. That night I so admired his work that I actually decided to talk to him. Alex Kay is his name, and we became best friends.

Alex is a social superstar who can make anyone like him within minutes of meeting him. He has a huge social network and is the opposite of me: he’s a natural extrovert, incredibly funny, and loves the spotlight. After we’d been friends for a few months, I went on a date with a girl; and at one point in the evening she said she’d been laughing so much that her stomach hurt. I realized that by spending so much time with Alex, I’d become funny. I’d changed from the boring guy girls didn’t want to see again to a guy who always had incredible first dates and great conversations with women he’d just met.

The lesson:
Surround yourself with people who have skills that you lack; learn from them and absorb their talents
.

The other thing that helped me the most has been my ability to take action. Over the past five years I have been presented with innumerable situations that ranged from scary to downright terrifying. Things like:

  Speaking in front of seven hundred people