The Lighter Side of Large (33 page)

“Should I call a nurse?” he looks worried. “Is there anything I can get for you? Anything you need?”

“Yes,” I nod.

“Name it,” he says, leaning close.

I close my eyes. “I can use a hug.”

There is a pause as Jae takes his hand away from my head. Then I feel him ease into bed next to me, placing his arm around my shoulders. I rest my head on his chest and drift off to sleep, knowing no dream can compare with being in Jae’s arms.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

“Life is unfair and tragedy strikes indiscriminately, but if you keep getting back up when knocked down, you win in the end.”

FROM BELLA’S BLOG
http://www.thelightersideoflarge.com/ch19

Jae walks into my room at nine a.m., looking like a ray of sunshine, though a ray of sunshine dressed in jeans, a green polo top and black twill jacket. “Good morning, beautiful,” he says.

I laugh - my full, robust, infectious laugh. I can’t help it. A handsome man is calling me beautiful when I know I don’t look it, certainly not after a near-death experience and two weeks laid up in a hospital bed. “It is a good morning,” I reach out and he bends down to give me a hug. “You’re here and I get to go home today!”

Not that two weeks of having Jae visit every day has been a bad thing. On the contrary, I can’t remember a time when I was happier. At first I thought the visits would taper off and end, but day after day, Jae stopped by every morning on his way to work. By doing so, he got to know Dad quite well and meet Abe and Fi and Mama Rose. Dad and Jae get on like wildfire. I discover Jae is a big fan of literature - a quality which endures him to my librarian Dad. Abe thinks he is a cool guy; Fi wanted to know if I kiss him a lot. When Jae promises to take them for a day out at Go 4 It, he pretty much seals his reputation in their eyes as, “one of the most choicest dudes ever,” as Abe puts it.

Mama Rose remains aloof. She is polite in every respect, but he is not Samoan. Any redeeming virtues and qualities he has cannot compare with the divine endowment of Samoan blood. “If only he is Samoan, he would have my blessing,” she declares one morning after he leaves.

“Mama Rose,” I retort, “the way you go on about being Samoan, you’d think Jae needs all the blessings he can get to counteract being white.”

“Don’t be sassy, Isabella,” she chides. I throw up my hands in surrender. Some things never change.

But some things do, like the positive change of having Jae in my life. “That’s wonderful. So they’re finally letting you leave,” Jae smiles and sits on the edge of the bed next to me. “I’ll drive you home myself. Your chariot awaits, my lady.”

“So do the release papers,” I add. “I’m stuck here until they sign me out, or I sign myself out, or whatever it takes to get out of here.”

“Well then,” Jae begins, “that gives us time to discuss something.”

I look at him curiously. “Discuss something? This sounds serious.”

“Well, it is,” he looks and sounds solemn. For an instant, I am worried. Things are going so well between us. What can be wrong? “I want to discuss me.”

“Oh my, that is serious,” I giggle, relieved. Jae doesn’t talk about himself a whole lot. His adventure tourism business, yes; his family and friends and activities he likes, yes. Jae the man? No. “Is this a joke?”

Jae takes my hand. “Not at all.” He takes a deep breath. “Bella, when I heard you were dying, I was never so scared in all my life.”

“That makes two of us.”

Jae cracks a smile. “That’s one of the things I love about you.”

“What’s that?”

“You always make me smile.”

“Or it could be flatulence.”

Jae laughs. “What has gotten into you?”

I throw my arms open wide. “I’m going home finally. I’m excited! But okay, I promise I’ll stop with the witty remarks.”

“Thank you,” Jae takes my hand again. “As I was saying before being bombarded with witty remarks,” he sighs, “I was scared I was going to lose you when you just came into my life.”

This does sound serious.

Jae continues. “And over these past two weeks of getting to know you better and meeting Abe and Fi and the rest of your family, I realise how precious life is and how important it is to be surrounded by the people you love and who love you. And I don’t want to waste any more time.”

“Waste any more time?” I quiz, hoping upon hope that he is about to say what I think he will say.

Jae looks me in the eye, something that always makes my heart melt, but now I feel it stop. “I don’t want to waste any more time not being with you. And so I was wondering about the future. Do you see me in yours? Because I can see you in mine.”

“Yes,” I breathe. “I can see you in my future. I hoped you would be in my future.”

Jae blushes. “So does that mean we are now exclusive?”

I gasp. “Yes!” I’m glad I’m in at least a partially horizontal position, because otherwise I would have fallen over in delirious joy.

Jae must feel the same joy, because his smile gets even bigger. “It’s official: we’re a couple.”

“Boyfriend and girlfriend - like a pair of teenagers,” I agree.

And then we laugh and laugh and laugh. Can this day get any better? Can my life get any better? I have a boyfriend. I, Bella White, cheated-on divorcee, single mother, lap band surgery survivor, and budding artist and writer, have a real, live boyfriend.

“But,” Jae says, his brow furrowed. “I do have a concern.”

“About what?” I ask, my joy sinking.

Jae strokes my hand, making me tingle all over. “I’ve been worried that you got the lap band procedure done to make me like you more.” He pauses, searching for the right words.

I chuckle. “Contrary to popular opinion, not everything I do is about you, you know.”

He smiles and rolls his eyes at me. “That came out all wrong. Bella, I guess what I am trying to say, albeit inarticulately, is I like you just as you are. I would never want you to become like the women I used to be around, who, if they gain a pound, call the doctor for liposuction and then add on a tummy tuck, face lift and botox shots. Where does it end?” His voice becomes forceful. “They end up looking like some plastic doll, unnatural, with their faces too tight and their boobs too big and their waists too thin. I have no respect for people who do that to themselves. It gets to the point where it’s simply disgusting.” He reaches out and strokes my face. I am a bit taken aback at how deeply he feels about it. “And I want you to be happy as you are. Because you are beautiful as you are. Do you understand that? I accept Bella as she is and I don’t want her to change.”

Tears well up in my eyes. What did I do to deserve such a man? A man who accepted me when I was obese, who stayed by my side as I almost died, and even now, though I have lost a dramatic amount of weight from being hospitalised, I’m still not the size I want to be. Yet Jae doesn’t care. A line from a song we sang in church when I was young springs to mind: “Just as I am without one plea.”

“Yes,” I sniff, wiping away a tear. “I do understand. And you don’t know how much it means to me to hear you say that.”

“Now I’ve made you cry,” Jae says despairingly and leans forward to give me a hug - a long, tight hug.

A knock at the door signals the appearance of Mama Rose, who carries a large suitcase. We break our embrace, smiling at one another. A special moment has passed, but it is a life-defining one. “Mama Rose, guess what? I get to go home today!” I tell her as she enters the room.

“
Fa’afetai e Atua,
” she breathes a sigh of relief and drops the suitcase on the floor. “So I packed you a week’s worth of fresh clothes for nothing. Well, I’m glad they won’t be used.”

“And I have even better news,” I say, taking Jae’s hand in mine. “Jae and I are officially dating.”

Before Mama Rose can respond, the nurse walks in with my release papers. I sign them as she gives me instructions on taking it easy, getting plenty of rest, what to eat and what not to eat, and taking my medication. When she’s finished, there’s nothing left to do but get dressed and pack my things. And there is a lot to pack after four weeks.

“That’s my cue to exit,” says Jae. “See you in a few minutes.”

He leaves the room and Mama Rose gives me one of her disapproving
what do you think you’re doing?
looks. “Mama Rose, be happy for me,” I plead. “I really like Jae. He treats me like a queen. The kids adore him. What’s not to be happy about? I know you wanted me to find someone Samoan, but life doesn’t always turn out the way we want or expect it to.”

Mama Rose walks over to the bed and cups my face in her hand. “
Biutiful la leleila’itiiti,
” she says “Jae is a fine man.”

My jaw drops in disbelief.

“I have seen for myself that he does treat you like a queen. I have watched Abe and Fi’s eyes light up when they see him. He is white, but white men can be good men. Your father is one. Jae is another.” And with those words she seals her blessing with a kiss on my forehead.

I am wrong: life can get better.

•

“What are these?” Fi asks, flipping through my sketch book which sits on the edge of my desk. Mika graciously dropped it off at the hospital and I filled its pages with caricatures of me in embarrassing situations which every obese person finds themselves in at one point. “This lady looks like you,” Fi points to one.”That’s because it is me,” I muss her hair.

“But you’re not fat,” she says.

I can’t help smiling as I kiss her on the top of her head. “Go outside and play. Aunt Tiresa will be here soon and I’ve got to get my blog finished.” Almost dying has given me tons to write about and I am behind two weeks on my blog.

I finish it and sign out of my account, and then remember another account I have - the one on the singles site. Now that Jae and I are together, I haven’t been online and don’t need it anymore. My three months are almost up anyway and I don’t want to be automatically billed for unnecessary usage. I log onto it to deactivate my account when a chat window pops up:

RoMANce: Long time no talk. Where you been?

ShyNSweet: In hospital, actually. I almost died from blood clots from lap band surgery.

RoMANce: Are u serious? Are u okay now?

ShyNSweet: Yeah, I’m fine now. I stayed in hospital for two weeks. Lost a lot of weight and am still on the special lap band liquid diet.

RoMANce: I’m glad you’re recovering. When you didn’t log on, I thought you had dumped me for some loser. My heart was broken.

ShyNSweet: LOL No, I wouldn’t dump a friend, especially not for a loser.

RoMANce: If you need anything, let me know. Maybe we should meet soon before you have another near death experience?

ShyNSweet: Actually, I met someone and am about to delete my account, but thanks for the offer.

RoMANce: Good for you. But I will miss chatting with you.

ShyNSweet: Yes, it has been nice. I’ve lost count of how many times we’ve spent half the night chatting. Thanks for being there when I needed a listening ear.

RoMANce: You’re welcome. And if it doesn’t work out with this guy, you’ll come back here, right? I’ll still be that listening ear you need.

ShyNSweet: RoMANce, you are one special guy. L8r

I don’t have time to feel a bit sad for RoMANce as my phone rings at the same time as I shut down my laptop.

“Hello,” I sing in answer. The caller ID says it’s
My Spunky Boyfriend.

“Agent White?” Jae drops his voice low.

“Yes, sir,” I play along.

Jae continues in an ultra-professional voice. “I have a mission for you. Should you choose to accept this mission, pack a suitcase for the weekend.”

I chuckle elatedly - Jae’s taking me away for the weekend. I can’t believe it. “And if I don’t choose to accept this mission?” I play along, excited and suddenly very nervous.

“Then you will have to walk around naked for a few days,” Jae replies without missing a beat.

I laugh out loud. “That won’t do at all. Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” he says, and I can tell he’s smiling. “But pack casual and comfortable. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning, eight o’clock.”

“Oh, come on, I plead. “Give me a hint.”