The Life and Afterlife of Charlie Brackwood (The Brackwood Series Book 1) (25 page)

Chapter Twenty-three

I don't know how long I had been standing there.  Unmoving.  Numb.  This was the end.  This was it.  What was the point in waiting now?  Lucy had moved on, she had a new love.  I was forgotten. The phrase 'out of sight, out of mind' could not have been truer in her case, it seemed.  Although there were some clues that indicated a part of her still remembered me.  But were these just a fabrication that my own fragile psyche had created?  Was this how the mind coped with the pain of being forgotten?

As I painfully relived what I had just witnessed, the image of a white wedding dress became embedded in my memory.  It was a warm summer’s day and the sun glinted off the stained glass in the church.  The same church that, just four years ago, I had stood in front of, imagining my own wedding to the same bride.

Lucy looked beautiful, as I had always known she would, swathed in white satin and lace. The train of her dress, trailing behind her as she walked up the aisle, reminded me of a closed peacock’s fan.  It was obviously designed to impress as Lucy left the congregation gasping in her wake as she made her slow progress to the altar, where her groom waited patiently with his back to the seated guests.

A lump formed in my throat as I saw the small bouquet she carried in both hands. It contained yellow peonies and sweet peas.  Unknown to her future husband, her bouquet was a representation of my time with Lucy.  Pinned to the wide pink ribbon wrapped around the stem of the flowers was the butterfly brooch I had returned to her.

On her finger sat a new engagement ring. It was traditional in style − a solitaire diamond, and a big one at that.  I noticed that the ruby engagement ring I had given her was worn on her right hand; she obviously wasn't ready to let it go just yet.  I began to wonder who the groom was.  There was no denying I had missed a few key events in Lucy's life since I last checked in and I assumed the groom to be someone who had loved her from afar for many, many years. The only man I thought worthy of someone as special as Lucy, our best friend, someone who knew Lucy as well as I did because he had grown up with her too.  As painful to me as the thought of Lucy becoming Russ's wife was, I was at least reassured that she would be well looked after and cherished by him.

However, I was wrong in my assumptions.  I spotted Russ sitting on his own at the back of the church, noticed the way his eyes lit up when Lucy draw abreast of him and the anguish in them as she stepped on to meet her groom at the altar.

Lucy had nearly reached the top of the nave.  Who was she about to marry?  How could I have missed so much?  The church was packed and there wasn't a pew unoccupied.  I recognised most of the faces, including my very own mum and dad who looked sombre but at the same time determined to put on a brave face for Lucy.  There were also a lot of faces in the church that I didn't recognise, indicating that the groom was someone unknown to me.  This realisation made me nervous.  It meant I didn't know or trust the person responsible for Lucy's happiness.

As she reached the altar the groom turned around and flashed a mouth full of perfect, white teeth that seemed impossibly straight.  He had blond hair and a confident stance.  The vicar started the ceremony but I hardly heard the words he was saying.  My attention was fixed on the man standing beside the love of my life.  I had seen him before.  But where?  The mystery man began to say his vows.

"I, Jamie Spencer Whitman − "

Whitman... I'd heard that name before.
  I wracked my brain. Where did I know this man from?  I tried to focus.  I definitely didn't know him when I was alive, which meant he must have appeared during one of my spying sessions on the living.  My memory brought up the last scene I’d witnessed before I’d vowed never to observe their world again.

An image of Lucy in a hospital bed came into my mind, the shadow of a man standing beside her.  I thought long and hard as I focused on the groom in his tail coat. It should have been me, I thought resentfully.  Suddenly, I realised who he was.  The last time I’d seen this man he was the one wearing white... in fact, he was wearing a white coat. 

Dr Whitman
. 

The man who had spoken to Russ in hospital after Lucy fell and knocked herself unconscious. 
Lucy was marrying Dr Whitman?

It didn't make sense.  She didn't know him.  She didn't know these strangers who had turned up to watch her get married.  Married in
my
church. It was here I had planned to marry the love of my life, the woman who turned out to be the love of this man’s life too. Or at least I hoped he thought of her that way.

Lucy said her vows with a smile on her face and I wondered if she had even thought of me while planning her wedding.  Whether she’d imagined how my face might have looked when I saw her in her wedding gown.  Whether she secretly wished it was me waiting for her at the altar.  Or had she completely forgotten about me?  Did I not have a permanent place in her heart as I’d once imagined?

The organ player blared out the traditional joyful wedding theme and the church bells tolled.

It was over. 

Lucy was married. 

There was no point in my waiting for her in paradise now.  She’d have her own love to wait for there.  The thought was a distressing one.  I felt betrayed and unloved.  I felt alone in a world I would never quite accept as my new home, or not at least until the love of my life returned to me.  Which seemed a lot less likely now.

I saw the guests’ joyful faces as their eyes followed the happy couple down the aisle.  But there was someone who did not share in the general happiness.  Russ was hurting.  I could see it on his face.  He had lost his childhood friend only five years before and now he had lost the other significant figure in his life. Things would never be the same for him.

He followed the crowd out of the church, with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his rumpled suit trousers and his head bowed.  Anyone would think he had just witnessed a funeral instead of a wedding.  He made some small talk with a group of villagers who wore wide smiles plastered to their faces.  Lucy had always been a favourite of theirs.

She was making her way around the groups of people, thanking them for coming and graciously accepting compliments on her dress.  When she found Russ she hugged him tightly.

"Thanks for coming, Russ, I really am grateful."

He smiled at her.  "You look captivating, Luce."

"Thank you. Are you joining us in the marquee?" she asked hopefully.

"I... er... no, thank you.  I have things to be getting on with."

Lucy’s smile faded. She was genuinely disappointed.  "Oh... well, that's OK, I understand."

"Have a great honeymoon, I'll call round when you’re back home," he said.  He was already making his way down the hill towards his house when Lucy's new husband found her and started to pull her close for a kiss.

I watched them for a minute and imagined what my life would have been like had I lived.  I would be the one standing outside this church with my arm around Lucy and a beaming smile on my face.  I would be looking forward to my honeymoon in some exotic place, watching Lucy swim in crystal-clear water while I worked on my tan.  I would be the one to watch her grow old gracefully, to love every wrinkle on her face and to hold her tired, arthritic hands in mine as we drifted off to sleep every night.

I continued to watch Lucy and her new husband.  I watched until thick, salty tears blurred the image before me and my own grief drowned out their laughter.

Chapter Twenty-four

The place was noisy but familiar.  The sound of a child's laughter pierced the air as I sat at my table by the window.  It was our table; mine, Lucy's and Russ's and it overlooked the farm lands beyond.  I was sat in Billy-Bobs Ice Cream Parlour, a favourite childhood hang out of ours.  The place was always buzzing with activity and they really did serve the best ice cream in Yorkshire.

Lucy had told me she'd meet me here after she'd seen her parents, things were still a bit strained between them.  It had been four weeks since I revealed the treehouse to her and we'd spent everyday together since then.  The ice cream parlour was Lucy's idea, she said she would need something to look forward to after speaking to her parents.  I didn't object.

I fixed my gaze at the window and waited for Lucy's car to pull in to the car park.  A young waitress came over wearing a pink, gingham pinny and balancing two bowls of ice cream on a tray.

"There you are Sir, I believe these are yours."

"Thank you, but I didn't order anything."

"
You
didn't," she said with a smirk before turning towards the kitchen and leaving me with a confused look on my face.

She had placed one bowl in front of me and one bowl opposite.  My bowl contained one scoop of bubble gum and one scoop of mint-choc-chip, both of which were covered in sprinkles.  Both of these flavours were my favourite and I always ordered them when I visited here.  This was no table mix up; someone had ordered my favourite ice cream for me. 

I looked across at the bowl that had been placed opposite me.  Liquorice and blackcurrant.  No sprinkles.  Lucy's favourite was raspberry ripple with a scoop of Yorkshire rhubarb.  I know this because Russ and I spent our childhood years teasing her about her bad taste.  I instantly knew who the other bowl of ice cream was meant for.

"Hey," said a familiar voice.

I hadn't seen him approach but I already knew who I was waiting for.  Lucy had set this up.  She had no intention of meeting me here today.

I looked up and gestured to the seat opposite me, "Have a seat, I think someone has already ordered for you."

Russ looked at the bowl of ice cream that had begun to melt slightly.  A small smile spread across his face, "She thinks of everything."

The atmosphere was awkward but there was no aggression between us, I was relieved and grateful for that.  I imagined that to an outsider we just appeared to be two old friends that hadn't seen each other in a long time. 

"I take it you two have been in touch?" I asked.

"She came by the house... she was upset... started talking about how she'd ruined our friendship.  She asked me if I would meet you to sort things out... and well... how could I say no to her?  She was so upset... I agreed but she was worried that you wouldn't come if you knew it was me you were meeting.  So she had to trick you.  She felt bad about that."

I sighed as I took in what he was saying.  I felt guilty that my troubles with Russ were affecting her. 

I looked around the room, "Funny that she would choose here as a meeting place, so many memories.  It has to be intentional."

"Of course it was intentional, we're talking about Lucy."

"Do you remember the time we challenged you to eat a scoop of each flavour and you threw up?"

Russ laughed at the memory, "Not surprising I threw up.  Aren't there around thirty different flavours or something?  My ego always was a problem."

We both fell silent as his last statement lingered in the air.  The sound of smashed crockery came from the kitchen and all heads turned in that direction, all eager to see the ashamed face of the person responsible.

"Look...I don't want to carry on like this.  I want my pal back, my wing man.  All this...it's silly, stupid stuff.  We don't fight over lass's, that's not us.  Besides, it's upsetting Lucy and I don't want that...we both don't want that.  Can't we go back to the way things were?  Me, you and Lucy?"

"It won't be the same Russ.  Me and Lucy...we're a couple now.  I don't want my relationship with Lucy to make you miserable."

"Well I certainly won't be miserable, I'm actually seeing someone.  It's early days yet but it's going well." Russ said sincerely.

"That's great, I'm really happy for you." I said, shocked at this new information.

He smiled and I felt relieved at the possibility that everything could go back to normal between us.

"So it won't be awkward?"

He held up his hands, "No awkwardness here."

Chapter Twenty-five

As I watched the happy couple disappear down the hill and into the village, where they would pose for professional photographs, I decided it was my turn to leave.  Lucy had once been my whole world and I hers, but that was in another world and time. Now there was someone else who loved me above everyone else.  I made my way back to the treehouse where he was waiting for me.

I saw him standing on the look-out post as I arrived. The pair of binoculars he was holding glinted in the bright sunlight.  Excitedly, he put them down and disappeared into the treehouse.

I've been spotted
, I thought.

He came running out brandishing a wooden sword in the air and said in a serious tone, "State your purpose here, peasant."

I held in a laugh and wondered where he got all these phrases from.

"What a welcome you give me, young squire," I said, playing along. "I wondered if you were up for a spot of fishing?"

His eyes lit up at the word 'fishing'.
Hooked
, I thought.

"Can we?  I've never been fishing."

"I'll teach you," I said as I ruffled his hair.

I conjured up two fishing rods and some bait and we began our journey to a fast- flowing stream on the far side of the palace.  On the way we petted a few rabbits and whistled to a few brightly coloured birds.  We even made it hail briefly, just for fun.  We found brightly coloured insects and toadstools, we collected leaves of all shapes and sizes, and peered into caves in the hope of spotting a group of bats.

I watched Timmy as he ran and leapt and laughed with delight.  No dangers presented themselves in this world.  It was a much better place for him than the last one had ever been.

When we got to the river we sat down and I demonstrated to Timmy how to hold a fishing rod as well as how to fix the bait on the hook.  He soaked up every piece of information I gave him and looked at the fishing rod with wonder in his eyes.
Oh, to be a child again.

A day’s fishing ended up becoming a few days spent camping out in the wilderness, and the first thing on the agenda was to create a shelter for ourselves.

As we collected strong branches for our wigwam structure, I found myself smiling.  I had just seen the love of my life marry another man and yet I was still smiling.  I hadn't collapsed or been rendered helpless by despair.  I had finally accepted the inevitable.  Lucy had moved on. 

I realised the reason for that acceptance stood in front of me, busily gathering sticks and dropping a large proportion of them in the process.  I watched him as he stopped to inspect a dragonfly that had rested on a stick he was carrying. 

"Charlie!" he cried, and pointed enthusiastically at the creature with his free hand.  I laughed and told him the name of the insect.

"But it doesn't look like a dragon," said Timmy in a puzzled tone, and I laughed again.

After our shelter was made and our fire was built there was another important task on our schedule: teaching Timmy how to swim. We chose a nearby lake for his first lesson and I learnt that Timmy picked things up very quickly.  He was swimming on his own within forty minutes.  I observed him proudly, thrashing about in the water with his face screwed up, and felt like any other parent teaching his child to this particular life skill.  The feeling was wonderful.  I was alive again.  I had a purpose.

Our wilderness adventure was over too soon and I made a promise to Timmy that we would return one day.  For weeks afterwards he would draw what he had seen and learnt there.  In true proud parent fashion, the pictures now took pride of place on the walls of the treehouse.  For the first time since I’d built it the place felt like home.

A few weeks after our return we had an unexpected visit from a rather important person.  I heard sounds coming from the rope ladder that led up to the living quarters and went out on to the rope bridge to investigate.  I saw the top of an unfamiliar grey head of hair making its way up the ladder.

"Well, it's not Gran and Gramps," I said to Timmy.

"I know who it is," he said, jumping up and down on the spot excitedly. "It’s God."

He greeted us with a nod and it was easy to see He was out of breath.  We followed Him inside the treehouse.

"You really must install a lift, Charlie," He said, still catching his breath.

"Where would be the fun in that?" I grinned.

"It's a good job I like you," He said, pointing a finger at me. "As you know I'm not prone to making house calls but this is important... I'm afraid something terrible has happened."

I turned to the vulnerable little person in the room. "Timmy, why don't you go and check on those worms you collected earlier?" I suggested.  He ran off in the direction of his room.

"Such a sweet child, I knew you two would be kindred spirits... so to speak."

"Why are you here?" I asked cautiously.

"I’ve been watching you, Charlie.  I know what you saw recently on Earth and I know how much this has affected you."

What He said shocked me, but only momentarily.  I realised that God never stopped looking out for His children, even the ones who had safely passed into the afterlife.

"I won't deny it, I have had some problems adjusting," I agreed.

"What if I gave you a second chance at life?  Would you be interested?"

"I'm sorry... I don't understand?"

"I'm giving you a mission, Charlie.  You have been chosen to carry out my work on Earth...for a short while anyway."

"What kind of work?"

"A life is in danger and it's not quite their time to cross over yet − you see, this particular individual is important to the future.  I need them to stay and help the Earth for a little while longer."

"But what about Timmy?" I was angry now. "Do you think this is fair to him?  I've only just gained his trust... damn it, I've only just let go of my old life."

"You are the one I have chosen, Charlie.  I need you to carry out this mission."

"Why me?  Why am I the chosen one?"

"Because you have a motive.  The life involved is one you have vowed to protect. It is a life you love more than your own, and that is useful to me."

I thought for a moment.
A life I love more than my own
.  I closed my eyes
.  Surely not.  Please don't let it be so
.

I looked Him in the eye. "This life you're talking about… it's Lucy's, isn't it?"

He nodded solemnly.

I couldn’t stop the groan that came out of my mouth then. I turned my back on Him and slumped down on the sofa with my hands covering my face.

"Lucy is in great danger. Her new husband currently lies in a hospital bed unconscious.  Like Lucy’s, his fate is sealed.  But, unlike Lucy’s, his life is not important in the future of the Earth.  I need Lucy to live.  She holds a key to a better world, one that contains less suffering.  If we don’t intervene now, all hope for that future will be lost.  I need you on this mission, Charlie. You have already vowed to protect her and your protection is powerful.  It’s with immense regret that I ask you to do this, especially as you have just begun to rebuild your life here, but I fear I have no other option."

Could I do it? I wondered.  Could I go back?  Could I bear to see her face again, knowing that I would have to leave her?  To talk to her... to laugh with her... maybe to touch her again?  It had taken me this long to get over the heartbreak of leaving her behind.  Could I survive being separated from her a second time?  He was right on one count, though.  I had vowed to protect her.

I shook my head.

“I can’t do it, I won’t leave her again.”

“She needs you, Charlie.  You can’t give up on her.  Lucy is vulnerable and alone and in need of the protection you promised her.  Become her guardian angel, I beg you.”

I thought about his words for a long time.  Could I give up on her?  After all, she let me go first.  Then I thought about her wedding day and the small reminders of me that I had seen then, things that made me think she hadn’t quite let me go.

"But how would it work?... I’m guessing I wouldn’t still look like this?" I said, gesturing to my body.

"No, we will choose another appearance for you."

"So she won't know it’s me?"

"No, and she mustn't find out. If she does it may change her path... the path that has been chosen for her."

I shook my head, suddenly angry with Him. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you have a love for her that goes beyond death," He stated, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I know you will be successful."

I thought about his bizarre proposition and went over the information in my head.  I would be sent down to Earth, in a human body that I didn't recognise, to save the woman I loved from impending peril, and she wouldn't even know that it was really me.  I was completely torn.  I had only just begun to enjoy Heaven, to make a life for myself here.  I had responsibilities, I had an adopted son, I had a brother I had not yet got to know.  If Lucy’s life were in danger surely that meant I would see her in Heaven much sooner than I’d first anticipated?  Perhaps it was better for me to allow that outcome to happen, so that we could be together again?      

Yet my love for her was too strong.  The thought of Lucy being in danger tore my heart into tiny pieces.  She came above everything else, including Timmy.  I could not allow her to suffer in any way, even if it meant waiting longer for her to pass over into my world.  I thought about seeing her beautiful face again.  I thought about walking the streets of the village I cherished, seeing my family one last time on Earth.  I realised then that I was also being given the chance that was ripped from me when I died so abruptly.  A chance to say goodbye to the people I loved, even if they didn’t know who I was.  Like Lucy, I needed closure. Maybe this was my chance finally to move on and afterwards become the best dad I could be to Timmy.

I turned to God. "I'll do it," I said.