The Life and Afterlife of Charlie Brackwood (The Brackwood Series Book 1) (22 page)

"Hmm, not like Russ."

Lucy shrugged, completely oblivious to the fact that I knew his real reason for leaving.  So he hadn’t told her how he felt.  He was a coward just like me.

"Judging by that shiny classic parked outside and this huge kitchen I am currently sitting in, am I correct in thinking the farm is doing well?" she enquired.

I smiled to myself and tried hard not to look smug. "I don't work on the farm anymore."

Lucy looked puzzled. "OK... so what do you do now?"

I knew that if we continued with this subject she’d carry on asking me questions and we’d never get the chance to talk about her problems.

"Look, enough about me, we need to talk about more serious things.  You have a drug problem, Lucy, and we need to get you some help." I watched her hang her head in shame. "I can't stand to see you like this. You've lost so much weight... there are track marks in your arms... no matter how we dance around the subject, you're an addict."

Silence fell between us.  I worried that she would never open up to me, never accept my help.  I scolded myself for putting too much pressure on her.  I was almost certain she would change the subject.  When Lucy spoke next her voice was low and barely audible.

"I don't know how this happened.  Things just got on top of me.  My parents’ divorce... my mother’s constant criticism.  I guess it made me feel worthless.  They were so caught up in their own problems that they never noticed how I felt and so I began to feel unimportant.  I started relationships with the wrong guys, they took advantage of me... it was a destructive cycle really.  I stopped taking care of myself.  I didn't care about my future career or my grades.  I managed to complete my exams and hand in my disseration but I have no idea what kind of grade I can expect.”  She took a deep breath. “The drugs…” she swallowed, fought back fresh tears “...the drugs were a release, a way for me to forget.”  She shook her head and looked up at the ceiling, tears shining in her eyes. “Look, I know I need help.  I know this can’t carry on. I’m smart enough to realise it will kill me in the end. Please help me, Charlie.  I can't do this on my own."

I nodded and we began our plan of action.  I found a church in the next village that had a programme for drug addicts and put her name down for the following week’s session.  Lucy was adamant that she did not want her parents to know she was staying with me so I drove her to the church and collected her when the session was over.  After one month she showed improvement, gained some weight, started to become the Lucy I knew.  When she went cold turkey her mood swings were unbearable but I saw it as evidence that she was making progress and not succumbing to her old ways.  Every day was a struggle for her and I tried my best to make life as easy as possible.  

I made sure she had three meals a day, that she was looking after herself, and encouraged her to sit out in the garden and read when it was warm.  In return I came home to a clean house that, due to Lucy’s presence, felt more alive than it had ever done.  I must admit, having someone to come back and share the evening with me was blissful and I hoped it would never come to an end. 

Lucy breathed life into the house and made it worthy of the label 'home'.  We would often sit in the garden in the evenings, listening to the birds sing, and when the breeze turned chilly I would grab a blanket to wrap around her shoulders.  Lucy would smile at me warmly and we would return to our peaceful reflection.

We became close again and before long it was as if she had never been away.  We would spend all of our free time together and I would find myself smiling for no reason while working on one of my treehouses.  I had even started to rush to get a job finished so that I could hurry home to her and we could start the evening laughing together as Lucy filled me in on her day.  Then the laughter would end and we'd settle down in front of the soft glow of the TV, and as Lucy put her head on my shoulder I'd feel a tingle of happiness that spread through my veins and set my heart  beating faster.

One night, after the successful completion of another project, I came home bursting with pride and eager to share this moment with Lucy.  But she was nowhere to be found.

I entered the hallway and called her name.  She was usually in the kitchen at this time, making sure I came back to a cup of tea and maybe a cupcake or two, I never asked for this kind of reception but she said that doing small things for me made her feel better about staying in my home. 

I popped my head around the rustic oak door but the kitchen was empty.  I climbed the stairs, still calling her name, and changed my clothes in my bedroom. The door to her room was closed.  I knocked on it twice before I opened it. Her bed was neatly made but Lucy was nowhere to be found.  I crossed to the window, which overlooked the back garden.  I had given her the room with the best view, knowing how much she loved the scenery.

The sun was still bright and the atmosphere humid from the relentless heat wave that hung over the majority of the UK.  Over the past few days Lucy had been planting flowers in the garden. She saw it as a small gesture of gratitude to me.  My eyes skimmed over colourful daisies, dahlias and delphiniums that filled the large flowerbeds and then settled upon the horse chestnut tree at the far end of the grounds.  I had been so preoccupied with renovating the interior of the house that the garden had been neglected.  Lucy was giving it the tender, loving care it deserved.

As my eyes scanned the blossoming beds I saw a familiar figure slumped against the base of the chestnut tree. Her knees were brought up to her chin and her hair fell over her face, which was resting against her jeans.  Something was very wrong.  I flew down the elegant staircase and through the kitchen to the garden.  I stopped a couple of feet away from Lucy.

"What is it?" I asked, concerned for her. "What's happened?"

She looked up at me with tear-stained cheeks. "I'm just being silly," she said.

"Of course you're not." I crouched down in front of her. "What's wrong?"

"Well, I was planting those yellow daisies over there, and I heard something on the radio... I think it was the news... they said it was the twenty-second of August... and I started to panic and my hands started to shake, and I've just been sitting here, like a complete mental case, trying to calm down.”

I looked at her, puzzled. "Why did the date make you panic, Luce?"

She glanced down and started to breathe deeply in an attempt to control her rising panic.

"Tomorrow is the day when the degree results are announced.”

"Oh," I said softly as I sat down beside her.  "Look, don't worry about it, Luce.  What's done is done. And you can always re-sit."

"But... what will I tell my parents?  They'll be so disappointed if I get a bad grade."

"Luce, with all due respect, you shouldn't give a shit about what they think. It's not their life, it's yours, to live however you want."

She started to nod but her expression suggested that her mind was on other things.  I looked over at the dahlias and daisies neatly planted in a row.

"Thank you for the flowers.”  I smiled into her worried face. “Who knows?  Gardening could be your calling," I said enthusiastically, and was rewarded with a half-hearted smile.

"There it is, that gorgeous smile.  I've waited all day to see it," I said happily.

But Lucy wasn't listening, her mind still too preoccupied.  Her eyebrows were knitted together in a troubled frown.

"But if I leave university without a degree, what kind of career can I possibly expect to have?"

"A fulfilling one," I told her.  She looked at me, confused. "As my cook, cleaner, and all round dog's body," I joked. "I promise you, my rates of pay are excellent. I'll even throw in a company car as well as an incredible holiday package... but that one comes with a catch."

"What's the catch?" she asked suspiciously.

"You have to spend all your annual leave with your very handsome and charming boss."

Lucy gave a genuine smile and then swatted my arm, clearly shocked by these outrageous conditions of employment.

"You're impossible," she said, still giggling before rubbing her arms and shivering. "It’s gone a little chilly."

"I'll run in and get you a blanket."

I entered the smallest bedroom that currently served as a store room for objects from my childhood that I couldn't bear to throw away.  I dug around in the antique walnut wardrobe that looked like it belonged in the popular children's book
The Lion,
the Witch and the Wardrobe
.  I was looking for an old quilted blanket we used to use during cold nights in the treehouse of our youth.  As I lifted it out I found a wooden trinket box beneath it.  Inside I found a delicate-looking turquoise object and when I flipped it over I realised it was the butterfly brooch from Lucy's childhood that Russ had rediscovered.  I traced the smooth enamel that made up part of the creature’s wings with my thumb while the sapphire-coloured rhinestones glinted at me.  Later, I would get a bracelet made in the same intricate style to match her beloved brooch.  It was so unique that every time she wore it she was showered with compliments.

Lucy was waiting for me when I returned to the garden and I instantly wrapped the large blanket around both of us.

"Oh, wow," she exclaimed. "I remember this old thing, there are so many memories associated with this blanket." She smiled. "You know, I can't think of a happier time than those days in our treehouse. We laughed so much back then. What a peaceful way to live − no responsibilities, no worries, no complications − "

"− just a hell of a lot of spying," I chipped in.

"Yes," she said giggling. "Yes, there always had to be spying."

"I found something else you might recognise."

"Oh, yes?"

"Yeah, but you have to close your eyes first."

She looked at me with a mixture of suspicion and amusement on her face, and then she obediently shut her eyes.

"Keep them closed," I told her as I fiddled with the clasp of the brooch.

A thrill of excitement travelled up my arm when my hand brushed her soft skin as I pinned the brightly coloured brooch to her white sleeveless shirt.  I looked at Lucy, with her eyes still firmly closed, and realised how vulnerable she looked.  She had complete trust in me, and I would never do anything to put that at risk.

"OK, ta-da."

She looked down and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Oh, my. Is that… is that my brooch?  I've not seen this old thing for years," she gasped. "I loved it so much, and there I was, thinking I had lost it this whole time.  Where did you find it?"

"You remember that tin we buried when we were kids? I think we even drew a map to find its location − well, Russ dug it up and found this inside, along with some other useless junk,” I said.

"Gilly gave this to me," said Lucy, "A few weeks before she died. It's actually an antique... it's been in my family for years." She pointed at the blue stones I had earlier mistaken for rhinestones. "These are real sapphires." She smiled. "I can't believe I’ve got it back again. Thank you.” She looked at me then with an intensity that made me feel uncomfortable.

"It's a good job I decided to return it to you then, instead of selling it on eBay," I joked.

Suddenly, she threw her arms around me and held me tight. "Thank you, Charlie," she whispered before kissing my cheek.

The next day was results day. A hard copy of Lucy’s results would be sent to her home address but an email containing her grade would be sent to her university email account.  She twitched in her seat. One minute she was standing up and pacing the kitchen, the next she had sat back down again and was nervously shuffling her feet.

The post would come first followed by the email later in the day.  Lucy was still adamant that she didn't want her parents to know she was staying with me; as far as they were concerned she was in her hall of residence, 'tying up loose ends'.  Her nervous tension started to rub off on me and I felt suffocated in the intense atmosphere.

"Would you just relax?" I said. "It's only lunchtime. The results won't be emailed for another five hours."

"OK," she sighed. "Maybe I should do some more gardening. Those weeds are nearly as big as me!"

"Sounds good, I'm just popping out for a sec."

Lucy gave me a small wave goodbye as I headed out and made my way to the pub.  I had decided to purchase some very expensive champagne, if it was bad news at least this would cheer her up.  I imagined us lying underneath the horse chestnut tree watching the sunset and listening to the last birdsong of the day while sipping champagne and waiting for the stars to make their magical appearance.  Perhaps I'll tell her how I feel tonight.

I had got so carried away in my fantasy that I barely heard my name being called.  I looked around to find Lucy’s mother glaring at me angrily.

"I know you have her!" she exclaimed, making me feel like a kidnapper who had locked her daughter away. "I know she's at your house." She shoved a brown envelope against my chest. "Here are her exam results, I retrieved them from her father."

I decided to play dumb. "Mrs Elliot, I have no idea what you mean."

"Don't you give me that. Russell has already told me she's staying with you." Lucy’s mother wagged a finger in my face. "He saw her digging in
your
front garden before going inside
your
house while he was up there visiting one of the farms. What do you want with Lucy? She should be with me... I've been ill and, Lucys father and I no longer live together and now Emelia has moved out, I need all the help I can get!"  She started to cough uncontrollably, though whether she had shouted herself hoarse or she really was ill, I couldn’t tell.