The Lie (31 page)

She wasn't going to make a fuss over this, and she would be civilized with Simon while he was home for this weekend, but as far as she was concerned, her marriage was over.

Alice was wheeling her pram along the High Street when she saw Jim Wright coming from the baker's shop. He saw her, smiled, and then crossed the street to speak to her.

‘You're looking well,' he said, and glanced down at the baby. ‘He's a lovely, lad, Alice. You must be very proud of him. Keeps you busy, I expect?'

‘Yes, he does,' Alice agreed, and laughed. ‘Had me up half the night, the young beggar. He's good most of the time, but sometimes he cries a lot at night.'

‘They do that sometimes,' Jim said, and nodded. ‘I don't expect your parents mind, do they?'

‘No, though I have wondered if I should look for a cottage of my own. If he keeps this up I might have to. It isn't fair on my father. He has to get up early, and then there's the lodgers  . . .'

‘I've got a cottage you might consider,' Jim said, after a moment for thought. There was a hesitant, hopeful expression in his eyes. ‘It's down by the station and it has been empty for a while. I could do it up for you, if you like?'

‘It's kind of you to offer,' Alice said, and frowned. ‘I'll have to think about it, Jim.'

‘Yes, well, it's up to you. I suppose you haven't heard any more yet?'

‘No  . . . nothing definite.'

‘These things take time,' he said, and hesitated again as if he wanted to say more but couldn't make up his mind to it. ‘Well, I'd best get on then. Shall you be at the church social this weekend? I thought I might take a look in.'

‘Frances asked me if I wanted to go,' Alice replied. ‘Mum will look after Dan, so I might. It would make a change.'

‘You don't want to stay at home all the time,' Jim told her. ‘It's a bit soon yet, lass, but life goes on.'

‘Yes  . . .' She felt the sting of tears and wished he hadn't said anything, even though she knew he meant well. ‘Bye, then.'

She walked off, keeping her tears at bay. She knew what Jim was getting at. He had always liked her, and she was pretty certain that he was thinking they might have a future together. But that would mean that Daniel was dead, and he wasn't. She knew he was alive somewhere. He had to be, because she couldn't bear it if he were dead.

Emily's heart was racing as she got off the train that afternoon. It was early still and there were a lot of people about. She looked along the platform, seeking the person she had come to meet, feeling a sweep of disappointment when she couldn't see him, and then a rush of excitement as he was suddenly there, striding towards her through the crowds.

‘Emily!' he cried, and closed the distance between them, catching her in his arms. He was so big and strong and reassuringly masculine and she felt her heart leap as his arms surrounded her. ‘I couldn't believe it when I got your letter.'

‘I wasn't sure you would come  . . .' She was breathless, lifting her face for his kiss, which was tender and sweet and so hungry that it took her breath away. Her eyes searched his face eagerly. ‘I thought you might be angry because I didn't write earlier,' she said, as he released her.

‘How could I be angry after I had your letter?' He touched her cheek, his eyes caressing her. He was infinitely tender, infinitely loving, banishing her fears. ‘Do you know how often I've dreamed of seeing you, of holding you in my arms? I love you so much  . . . want you so much, my darling Emily.'

‘You do understand that I'm not free to leave my job and come to you immediately?' she asked anxiously. ‘I want to carry on with my work for now – and it will be a while before I can get my divorce.'

‘Of course I want you to stay with me for ever,' Terry said honestly, his voice husky with emotion. ‘I want you to be my wife, to wake up beside you every morning, and to see my son in your arms. But I know that you have commitments. After your husband was injured I promised myself I would wait for as long as it took – and I haven't changed my mind. I'll wait until you're ready, Emily.'

‘We don't have to wait for some things,' she told him, and there was a hint of mischief in her eyes as she gazed up at him. What she was doing was reckless and forward of her, but she had made up her mind that she would tell him at once. ‘I came here to be with you if you want me, Terry. There is nothing to stop us being together – if it's what you want.'

‘If it's what I want?' Terry stared at her in disbelief. ‘How could you doubt it? I've been wanting to make love to you since the second time you visited me in hospital.'

Emily laughed as she moved closer. ‘In that case, I suggest you take me somewhere so that we don't waste a moment longer  . . .' She laughed as she saw the flame leap up in his eyes. ‘And if that makes me a scarlet woman I don't mind one little bit.'

‘What it makes you is warm and loving and mine,' Terry said, his arm about her waist. ‘I've been living in a hostel since I came to London so I'll book a hotel suite for us. If you're going to make this a regular thing I shall look for a flat of my own.'

‘You had better start looking then,' she said, and giggled as his arm tightened about her. ‘You're stuck with me, Terry Burgess, whether you like it or not.'

‘It's what I've longed and prayed for,' he told her, and the look in his eyes left her in no doubt that he meant it.

If Emily had doubted her reception, she learned to forget her doubts in Terry's arms that night, finding more pleasure than she had ever dreamed existed in loving and being loved. Terry didn't need a drink to make love to her – not just once but constantly throughout the three days she spent with him.

She had intended to stay just two days, but he had wangled three days of leave and she knew it might be some time before she could get away again so she stayed on. They talked as she lay snuggled up to his side, relaxing in the aftermath of loving.

‘It's going to be harder to leave you than I thought,' she said, as his hand stroked her thigh. ‘I knew that I wanted to be with you like this so I came, but I didn't know it would be so hard to go back.'

‘I would say that you don't have to go back,' Terry told her, as he kissed her neck, ‘but I know that you do. You're not the kind to break your promise easily. Besides, I would rather you were down there in the country. The Blitz is over for the moment – the Germans were losing too many of their bombers and they gave up in the summer – but it could start again at any time.'

‘The bombs don't worry me,' Emily told him, as she snuggled up to the firm, hard length of him. It felt so good to be here with him like this! ‘I wouldn't let the thought of that kind of danger stop me being with you – but I have promised Vane I will stay until things are more settled. And I have to wait until Simon has had his surgery. I know it's asking a lot of you  . . .'

Terry silenced her with a kiss. It was quite a long time later that they had time to talk again.

‘As long as I know you love me, and we can be together sometimes, I can wait,' he told her. ‘But you won't change your mind? You won't let him persuade you to stay with him?'

‘I shan't do that,' Emily promised. ‘My marriage is over. I shall ask Simon to give me grounds for a divorce as soon as it is decently possible.'

Terry smiled and stroked her cheek with the tips of his fingers. ‘In that case, I promise to be patient. After all, a few days ago I had nothing to look forward to; now I have all I could ever want. I just have to be patient for a while.'

‘I'm going to be busy over Christmas,' Emily told him. ‘We are having a party and I'm committed to organizing it. But I shall telephone you once you have your own place, and I can find some excuse to come up again soon after Christmas.'

Terry held her to him, his strong arms enfolding her. She was so beautiful, so warm and exciting, so loving. He wanted more than this, more than a few fleeting hours in a hotel, but if this was all he could have of her for the moment he would take it and thank his lucky stars. He had loved her for a long time and believed she was lost to him, and he couldn't believe his luck. Emily loved him, had come to him, and she would marry him when she was free of her husband. His dreams were all coming true. All he had to do was be patient.

Sitting in the train going home, Emily felt a surge of rebellion. Why was she doing this? Why hadn't she simply told Vane the truth about his son and Philip, given in her notice and told Terry she would stay with him until her divorce came through?

She was tempted to get off at the first station after leaving him, but she didn't; she just stared out of the window at the rain, feeling miserable. It hurt to leave Terry in London and to know that she wouldn't see him for several weeks. He hadn't wanted her to leave, but he hadn't begged her to change her mind, either. She knew he would hold to his end of the bargain and in a way she wished he had told her she must leave her husband, now, at once.

She had chosen what seemed to be the easy way, Emily realized. Simon had suggested it because it suited him, but it also made things more respectable. There would be considerable scandal when the divorce happened, especially amongst the people of Stretton Village. Frances and Henry would be upset, though she didn't think Connor would mind. He had enjoyed staying with her in the summer, and he'd spent a lot of time down at the convalescent home with the men, talking to them and fetching things for them from the shops. She'd been really proud of him and she'd told him so.

‘You're growing up,' she'd said when she found him sitting with a soldier who had lost both hands, feeding him strawberries and cream. ‘It's the nurses' job but they don't always have time for treats.'

‘I brought a basket of strawberries from the gardens in with me, and Nurse Baines told me to bring some to Jock. She's a great girl, Emily. All the men love her.'

‘Yes they do – and I love you.'

He had gone red and looked embarrassed but she thought his visit had brought them closer again. She had missed him when he went home. Yes, Connor would like Terry, she thought. He could live with them if he wanted to, because she was sure Terry would agree if she asked. He would do anything she wanted, because he really loved her.

She hadn't been certain of that when she wrote and asked if he would meet her off the train that weekend, but she knew it now. He was so different to Simon, wanting her, needing her – and she needed him. It was a very different kind of love to that she had imagined she felt for Simon at the beginning. She had been young and naïve. What she had felt then had been infatuation. She had been flattered by Simon's attention, believing his profession of love – but she knew the difference now.

Terry loved her. She didn't need words to tell her that, though he had said it many times and in many ways, but it was there in the way he touched her, in his eyes.

She smiled as she remembered lying in his arms just whispering. It gave her a warm feeling inside, and was something she would never forget. She must wait for a little longer, but then she would speak to Vane, tell him that she was thinking of leaving, moving on. He would be upset, angry, but she must be prepared for that. If he demanded that she worked six months' notice she would do it, but after that she would leave.

Her decision made, Emily relaxed. She would write to Terry and tell him in the morning.

Emily found her car waiting for her where she had left it in the station yard. It started immediately, even though it had been frosty overnight. She was still feeling the warmth of her lovely weekend away when she parked her car and walked into the house, but then, quite suddenly, she knew something was wrong.

‘Where have you been?' Amelia demanded, as she came hurrying into the hall. ‘I've been phoning everywhere and couldn't find you.'

‘Has something happened?' Emily asked, a cold knot forming in her stomach as she saw that Amelia was both upset and angry.

‘Simon had a sudden relapse,' Amelia told her, her tone accusing. ‘Apparently there was a blood clot somewhere and it went to his lungs. He died two days ago.'

‘Simon died  . . .' Emily stared at her in shock. The cold had spread all over her and she felt numb. This couldn't be happening! ‘But everyone said he was better! He was going to America with—' She could hardly believe it. Simon was dead? It didn't seem possible after he had seemed to be doing so well.

‘Where were you? I rang your sister at her home but she had no idea where you might be.'

‘I stayed with a friend,' Emily said, trying to gather her thoughts. ‘I am sorry if you've had a worrying time, Amelia – but it couldn't have made any difference if I'd been here. It must have been quite sudden.'

‘That isn't the point,' Amelia said, and now her eyes filled with tears. ‘Vane was terribly upset when we couldn't reach you, and  . . . he had a heart attack and collapsed.'

‘Oh, Amelia, no!' Emily said. The news of Simon's death was shocking but, Emily realized, this was more distressing. She hadn't truly liked Vane for a start, but she had come to admire him – and like him too. ‘I am so very sorry. How is he? He isn't  . . .?'

‘No, thank goodness,' Amelia said. ‘He was at the hospital when it happened and they rushed him to their special unit. It was only a mild attack and he is recovering now. But he has asked to see you. He is worried about things here, about the home – he seems to think you might be considering leaving us quite soon.'

Again there was that accusing look in Amelia's eyes, as if she were blaming Emily for everything that had happened.

‘I wouldn't leave Vane while he is ill,' Emily told her.

‘But I don't see why you have to leave at all,' Amelia said, looking a bit sulky. ‘You know how we all rely on you.'